Okay guys, I haven't been on here in quite some time and I've decided to start fresh. I hope you enjoy this story. Any feedback would be great! Let me know if you would like me to keep writing! Remember to read and review!

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, Stephanie Myers does.

Hopelessly Hopeful

Chapter1

Relief. Relief is what I felt as I took the blade to my wrist. It was like all my hurts and pains were flowing out of me through my blood. "Just a little deeper," I told myself. I sighed contently as I did just that. This was what I needed after a night like tonight. Slowly I pulled myself back to reality, feeling the hot water hit my skin, as I watched the diluted blood go down the drain

I stepped out of the shower, quickly grabbing my towel as the cool air hit my warm body. I tended to my new wounds on my shoulder that I had added to my hundred scars. I had done this many times before, so I knew just how to take care of things. I tried to avoid looking in the mirror, but I caught a glimpse of my face. I was pale, and somber looking…lifeless, but what caught my eye the most was the small bruise appearing on my left cheek, just below my eye. "I guess she did hit me harder than I thought." I said to myself. This wasn't the first time, so I wasn't too surprised.

I wrapped my towel around me, tiptoeing to my room. I didn't want to wake her. Tomorrow was my first day of my Junior year of High School. Most girls my age would be up right now trying to pick out the perfect outfit. I, however, tried to picket the one that would hide the most scars and bruises. The bruise on my face would be a bit more difficult to cover up though. After going through my closet, I settled on my favorite pair of jeans, a plain t-shirt, and my grey hoodie. I figured that would do the job.

I glanced at the clock, noticing the hour. 1:16 am. Knowing I should probably get some sleep, I slipped on my P.J's, claimed in bed, and slowly drifted off into my other nightmare. The one inside my head.

Running. I was running for my life. I just knew he was going to get me, but I kept running. I looked behind me to see how close he was, but he wasn't there. Then I heard it. The gun…

I woke up in sweat, with tears still running down my face. "Breathe" I told myself. My heart was beating so fast that I thought it was going to explode. I tried to calm myself. "It was just a dream." I repeated

"Bella! Its time to get up. You have school in an hour, damn it!" I heard my mother scream.

"I'm up!" I yelled back, a little annoyed. I was almost 17 and she still thinks I can't get up on my own. I scrambled around, packing up my backpack, not forgetting my blades. I went to the mirror, grabbed my make up and started to cover up the bruise she left last night. As soon as I was ready, I ran downstairs, grabbed a breakfast bar, and headed out the door.

Part of me was excited for school. I loved to learn. But part of me was nervous, mostly about the fact that people were going to be there. Especially certain people. Don't get me wrong, it's not people that I don't like, it's just the fact that I'm not exactly the most accepted person around school. I don't have many friends, and the friends I do have aren't really close, but I make do.

I pulled up to the parking lot, finding a close spot. I'm usually always early. I picked up my schedule; my first hour was English, one of my favorite subjects. As I walked to class, I ran into a couple of my friends. Jessica was excited and so was Angela, as they both walked around, comparing schedules. Angela had to be my favorite of all my friends. We aren't close, but we get each other. Like me, she quiet and shy, and keeps to herself. I did my best to cover my bruise with my hair, but it still got a question from Angela.

"What happened to your face?" Angela said, moving the hair away from my eyes.

I looked down and sighed. "I think you have an idea, Ang."

"Her again?" I just nodded. Thankfully the conversation was ended by the interruption.

"Oh my god, did you see the new kids? That one with the bronze curly hair is so hot! I call dibs on him." Jessica said running up to me

"Jess, aren't you with Mike?" I said, laughing and stating the obvious.

"Well yeah, but I still call dibs."

Angela and I laughed looking at each other. Jessica was always going for the hot guys, even though she was happily in a relationship with her boyfriend, Mike. Mike and her had been going strong for almost a year now, and while she drooled over cute boys, she would never cheat on Mike

Angela and I walked together to English, excited that we had it together. She went and sat in the back with her boyfriend Ben, and I sat in the desk behind her. We were early, so people were still filling in. I was organizing my binder when I first saw him. The guy Jessica was talking about. He was pale, and had the most attractive bronze, curly hair. But the thing that caught my eye the most were his eyes, they were almost the color of an emerald. A brilliant green.

I snapped out of my staring episode when his eyes met mind. I lowered my head, feeling my face getting flushed. I heard him walking closer; I looked up and saw him set in the desk next to me.

"Hello, my name is Edward Cullen," he said as he sat down. His smile was brilliant.

"Um, hi Edward. I'm Bella, Bella Swan." I finally managed to get out, forcing a small smile with it.

"Nice to meet you Bella." he said as he turned around, facing the front.

The class went by quickly, as we went over the same old introduction and syllabus. However, I could feel Edward's eyes on me the whole time. I tried to keep my head down, and make sure my hair covered most of my bruise. When the bell rung, Angela and I quickly gathered our things and headed out the door. Angela was ahead of me though, with Ben and her holding hands. I smiled. She deserved happiness.

"So what did you think? Think you'll like the class?" I was stopped, spinning around to see that it was Edward who was asking me.

"Um, yeah. I guess. I mean it will kind of be boring since I've already read most of the material, but English is my favorite subject." I smiled, trying my hardest to be social, and friendly. It was hard sometimes though.

"Yeah, me too. Hamlet was my favorite though."

"Yeah, that's a good one."

"Well, this is my stop. It was nice meeting you, and I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" He asked as we stopped in front of what I was assuming as his next class.

"Yup, I'll be there." I smiled as I continued walking.

The day went by semi-quick. As the final bell rang, I walked out to my car. To my surprise, Edward had parked next to me and was walking toward his.

"We meet again." He said flashing that brilliant smile.

"Yes, I guess we do." I looked up at him and that's when he saw. His smile suddenly went dead.

"Hey, what happened to your face?" He asked

I tried to laugh and play it off, "Oh yeah, I fell down my stairs the other day. Hit my face. I'm pretty clumsy."

" Well you should be more careful," He said being completely serious. "You know, my dad's the new doctor in town, I could have him look at it for you."

"Nah, it's okay. Looks worse than it is. But thanks."

"Okay, if you insist. Before you leave though, is there any way I could get your number? Maybe we could hang out sometime."

I felt my knees go weak for a second, wondering why this very attractive guy would ask me of all people for my phone number. At first I wondered if it was some kind of joke, but seeing his face made me give in. "Um yeah, let me write it down." I said as I grabbed a pen and paper from my backpack, scribbling my numbers on a torn sheet. "Here."

"Thanks, I'll text you later then?" He said as he started getting in his car.

"Um yeah, talk to you later." I waved as he pulled off. I got in my old beat up truck, trying to absorb what had just happened. I couldn't help but smile though. However, my smile quickly faded as soon as I thought about what my mom or..he would say if they new about him. The thought made me sick to my stomach. I pushed that thought aside, starting up my car, and heading home.

She was already home when I pulled up. I knew right then and there that it was a bad sign. She was never home this early, unless something was wrong. I took a deep breath as I got out of my car and headed to the front door. I unlocked it, walking it.

"Mom? Are you home?" I called out, as she was not in sight. That's when I heard it. His voice. I knew this wasn't going to be a good night.

"Honey, come see who came to see you," she said. My stomach felt like it was being tied in knots. I knew what this meant, and I knew that there was no way out of it. Fear rocked my whole body, and I tried to push it aside when I saw him walk around the corner.

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