Big thanks to blackscarlet47.
Do not own Bleach, Naruto or the amazing race. (who was the first writer to put a disclaimer in their fanfiction?)
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Phil stands there looking at the camera with hands clasped in front of him, he spoke, "I'm standing in Babcock park in Sacramento California, from this park eleven teams will embark on a race around the world for one million dollars."
There came the sound like the zipping of a coat, suddenly a portal seems opened like a mouth.
"A special dimension gateway is sending our appointed teams here, each teams is made up of two people, with either an existing relationship or no relation what so ever and are just dumped together for entertainment," a foot steps out of the portal and phil continues, "the eleven teams are…"
A pink haired teen comes out together with another teen of the same age.
"Sakura and Ino, life long friends/rivals from Konoha, Naruto."
"Ino and I joined this jut to prove that we can do this and girls aren't weak," Sakura's voice said.
Ino nods, "that's right and we also want to prove that teenage girls are not air headed fangirls."
"We are medical ninjas trained by one of the legendary sanin," Sakura glared at the screen raising a fist, "don't underestimate us!"
"We'll kick the other teams butt!" Ino agreed also raising a fist.
Behind them steps out a familiar duo, both are dressed in red and black cloaks, one has red hair white the other has blond hair. Sakura immediately glares at them, "you two!"
Deidara looked at Sakura with amusement, "looks like we'll be having an interesting race ne Sasori no danna?"
"….Whatever," the red head said in a bored tone.
"Sasori and Deidara, married from Akatsuki, Naruto."
Both of them flinched. Deidara was the first to react, "WHO THE HELL SIGNED US UP AS MARRIED HMM?"
"You mean you weren't the one who did the application?" Sasori asked softly, betraying no emotion on his face.
"Leader said someone will do it, that means…" Deidara's voice trailed off.
Both artist faces immediately turned grim, "Tobi," they said at the same time.
The next two people step in, one was dressed as the two people in front of them wearing an orange mask, while the other was dressed like a scientist or a nerd with a white trend coat, the man wore his hair down to cover half his face complete with thick dark blue spectacles.
"Deidara senpai did Tobi write down correctly?" the masked man asked cheerfully.
Both answered by cracking their knuckles. Tobi immediately raised his hand in protest, "but senpais its one of the most on going rumours in Akatsuki!"
"Die hmm!" BOOM!
"Please stop," the spectacled man said standing between the three Akatsuki, "you could get a twenty minute penalty for using your skills, even before the race if you harm a contestant."
Deidara stopped with a stunned look on his face, "oh never mind hmm."
"We can always get him after the race," Sasori said and turned away from the both of them.
"Ahem…Sosuke and Tobi, crossovers."
Tobi laid on the ground, "oww."
Sosuke smiled, "when we get to our packs I will get you some juice okay?"
"Yay juice!" Tobi yelled immediately sitting up.
Everyone sweat dropped, to think that the boy could survive an explosion like that. Ulquiorra frowned, the man wearing spectacles looked familiar, but decided not to investigate, Aizen sama told him to win.
"Ulquiorra and Sasuke, crossovers."
"I'm only working with you temporary for the money, don't expect to make friends with you," Sasuke said emotionlessly.
'Don't worry I'm only working with you for a certain goal," Ulquiorra said just as emotionlessly.
"Don't you dare pull me down," Sasuke said emotionlessly.
"Same to you," Ulquiorra said just as emotionlessly.
"I hate you," Sasuke glared, only his eyes moving, the rest of him was emotionless.
Ulquiorra…
"GET A FRICKING ROOM FOR (BLEEP) SAKE!" Grimmjaw yelled.
Ulquiorra looked at Grimmjaw, murmured something unintelligible before walking away.
Grimmjaw flipped Ulquiorra the bird, "I KNOW YOU HATE ME (BLEEEP!)!"
"Grimmjaw and Hidan, crossovers."
Hidan looked around for Kakuzu, "its no fun with that (BLEEP) heathen Kakuzu around."
"Who's Kakuzu?" Grimmjaw sneered, "Your (BLEEP)?"
"Why you (BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP) !" Hidan yelled.
:Grimmjaw flipped Hidan the bird and bend the finger a little, "you don't deserve the full one (BLEEP)!"
------the rest is censored---------
"Inoue and Matsumoto, best friends, Bleach."
"Umm, we going to show them girl power right Rangiku san?" Inoue asked.
"We're going to win!" Matsumoto yelled, "come on Inoue, show that we can beat all these people with the size of our boobs!"
Inoue, nodded raising her hands, "you're right," she takes a deep breathe, "BOOB POWER!"
"BOOB POWER!" three voices yelled together.
Both Inoue and Matsumoto look at the new comer, she had huge boobs like them.
"Tsunade and Jiraiya, sanin from Konoha, Naruto."
Tsunade grinned, "can I join in."
"What's your size?" Matsumoto asked curiously.
"Woah ho ho," Jiraiya drooled looking at their boobs. Tsunade sighed, "would you like to join me?"
Matsumoto grinned, cracking her knuckles. Jiraiya raised his hands in protest, "woah wait wait…"
DOUBLE FIST IRON PUNCH!
Jiraiya flew 1000 feet in the air vertically, "not bad," Tsunade grinned handing Matsumoto a bottle, "want some sake?"
"Oh yes," Matsumoto grinned taking the bottle. Jiraiya landed with a BANG! Creating a huge crater.
"Konan and Halibel, crossovers."
"…."
"…."
"…."
"…."
"…I feel your pain," Konan said.
"…You too," Halibel replied.
"Noitora and Zaraki, enemies, Bleach."
"I'm gonna finish the fight, right here right now!" Zaraki roared.
"Bring it on!" Noitora leered; both of them are oblivious to the people standing around them.
"How did they even sign up?" Konan asked.
"…They didn't," Halibel replied.
"….." Konan was speechless.
"….I agree…" Halibel said.
"Stark and Shikamaru, crossovers."
"This is troublesome," Shikamaru yawned.
"Zzzzzz," was Stark's reply.
"I agree, might as well sleep, yawn…zzzzzz," Shikamaru fell asleep.
"Snort…yawn….zzzzzzz," Stark rolled over and returned back to sleep.
"And finally Orochimaru and Kabuto."
"Kukuku, Sasuke kun," Orochimaru drooled.
"Orochimaru sama not here," Kabuto warned, feeling the hint of anger from all the Naruto cast.
"Not only do I get to see Sasuke in action, I will get funding for my sound village too, kukukuku," Orochimaru leered, not caring if the other were cracking their knuckles.
"Can these teams stand up to the stress of travelling together across more than forty thousand miles? Who will come up with the right combination of brains (Shikamaru+Stark), brawn (Noitora+Zaraki) and teamwork (Deidara+Sasori) to win the one million dollars?" The screen changes to Phil, "these are the questions waiting to be answered as we begin the amazing race."
Phil stops in front of the teams, some looked eager, some looked bored, some weren't even looking at him, one was fighting and one team was even sleeping. Can one team even make it to the end? Phil thought.
"In just a few minutes, you'll be leaving on a race around the human world. The race is split into a number of legs. And as you travel you're have to complete various task, at the start of each leg of the race, you'll receive a small amount of cash, that has to cover all expenses, except airline tickets which you wont need to pay for. At the end of each leg of the race there is a pit stops. Eight of these pit stops are elimination points, so you need to get to them as fast as you can, because if you're last, you'll be eliminated. Everybody understand that?"
"Hai!"
"Whatever…"
"I'm busy here can this wait?!"
"Zzzzzz"
"Troublesome…"
"Cool! Tobi can be a good boy!"
"Hurry the (BLEEP) up so we can start already!"
"Boobs…"
SLAP!
"Afirmative…."
"Ya ha!"
"I'm show you the meaning of my art hmm!"
"Your first clue is waiting for you on top the luggage, some of you brought with you, those who are crazy enough not to bring anything, it is on the ground under a pile of stones with your name on it. When I give you the word, you can run over there, get you bags and read the clue. And jump into one of the cars driven by a chauffeur in the parking lot. What happens after that is completely up to you. The first team to cross the finish line will win one million dollars." Phil had the satisfaction of seeing everyone looking at him with his or her full attention now.
"The race is waiting for you. So good luck, travel safe….GO!"
Phil had to step back as a mass of people race to their bags, the women in the lead. "the enthusiasm never changes," Phil said with a smile. Then he saw Stark and Shikamaru still there, together with Sosuke who was walking leisurely while Tobi ran towards the clue. Zaraki and Noitora were still fighting.
"If you don't finish at least one lap, you cant go back to your world you know?" Phil said seriously.
Stark twitched, Shikamaru sat up yawning, "fine. Let's do this already," Stark grumbled. "So troublesome…"
"Kurosaki Ichigo is waiting at the finish," Phil said with a sigh.
Zaraki stopped in midslash, "oh yeah Ichigo, haven't fought him in a while."
"My fight with him was interrupted by you," Noitora pointed out.
"Go meet him at the finish line and have a battle royal then," Phil said thanking the gods that his son likes both animes.
"Great idea," Zaraki said running off, followed by Noitora.
"WAIT YOU FORGOT THE CLUE!" Phil yelled, Zaraki immediately ran back to retrieve it.
Sosuke was still leisurely walking towards the car, "you do know you're not fooling anyone…." Phil asked sternly, "so why are you here?"
Sosuke smiled, "wait and see."
Meanwhile, Matsumoto and inoue were in the lead, urging the driver to go faster, "but lady, I have no idea where to go, you're supposed to guide me!" The driver protested.
Matsumoto/Inoue friendsMatsumoto looked at the clue, "its says drive Sutter Middle School, where is it, where is it….Inoue?"
Inoue looked at it, "ah there! Its close to the red line!"
"So I see, good job Inoue!" Matsumoto grinned, she shoved the map in front of the driver, "oi you, go here!"
"I cant see!" the driver protested almost driving into a truck, the car moved out if control.
"Aieee!" squeal Inoue happily.
Behind them, the driver swore as the car in front of them jerked left and right, "go faster!" Tsunade swore as the driver decelerates the car allowing those behind to catch up.
Tsunade/Jiraiya friends"Cant, we could crash into other cars!" the driver protested.
"Damnit!" Tsunade cursed smashing her fist into the back of the empty car seat, immediately the chair buckled. "Careful please, miss!" The driver said with tears in his eyes, his precious car….
"Alright go to the left…what's your name?" Jiraiya asked reading the map; he was a good map reader, even though everything's in English.
"Bob," the driver said as he turned sharply to the left entering the turn just in time.
"Good man," Tsunade said smacking Bob on the shoulder, "keep in up!"
Bob winched at the blow, "just tell me where to go and I'll drive there. And no hitting please."
"Sorry," Tsunade said, her team was in the lead, she needed to win this for her debts.
Sasori/Deidara married(not)
"Do we follow them Sasori no danna?" Deidara asked, his right eye was closed as a small clay bird soar through the air above the sky, creating a prefect map.
Sasori nodded, "okay they turned to the left hmm," Deidara said looking for any routes to bypass them.
"Driver go left," Sasori ordered.
Ulquiorra and Sasuke's team were having a bad time, they were behind Grimmjaw's and Hidan's team who were hogging two lanes at once.
"Don't let team emos get pass you!!!" Grimmjaw yelled flipping the team behind them the bird.
"Move move, you (BLEEP), for (BLEEP) sake past the stupid old lady and her Toyota already!" Hidan yelled.
The driver was solemn; "you know I'm going to jail if I drive any faster."
"JUST (BLEEP) DO IT!" Hidan yelled reading the clue, "and what the hell is this blue line?!"
"Let me see that," Grimmjaw ordered grabbing the map, "WE'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY! THE MAP IS UPSIDE DOWN!" Grimmjaw immediately grabbed the wheel and did a 180 degree turn.
Sasuke Ulquiorra
"They're turning," Ulquiorra noted emotionlessly.
"Heh, don't bother that crazy team," Sasuke said reading the map, "I'm definitely right, its," Sasuke pointed to the right, "that way."
Ulquiorra sweatdropped, that was the river! Ulquiorra then wondered whenever he did the right thing by allowing this boy to lead.
Stark Shikamaru crossovers"That turn left at the next junction," Shikamaru said looking at the map with interest.
The driver obeyed. Stark opened one eye, unused to the silence, he spoke, "who do you think has the highest chance to win this race?"
Shikamaru sighed, "I say depending on percentage each team has a 9 percent chance of winning, however," Shikamaru looked up from the map a frown on his face, "based on teamwork, those whose teams belonged to one anime will have a better chance of winning."
"So that puts our team to about five percent then?" Stark said about to closed his eyes, but was interrupted by Shikamaru.
"No," Shikamaru said as the car moved smoothly through out the Captial city way 80, "because of our similarities, we have better knowledge of each other and less likely to get in each other's way. I would say about fifteen if we are committed."
"Which we aren't," Stark concluded with a yawn, "several teams are hiding their true strength, the two girls from bleach, one of them Inoue has unusual powers, like thoser of a god."
"They'll be useful for an alliance, if we bother," Shikamaru said looking back behind his map, "we'll be over the river right about now."
Stark looked to see that they had indeed crossed a river, "impressive, so which teams we have to watch out for if we wanted to win?"
"The quiet ones," Shikamaru said.
Stark nodded and when back to sleep.
Orochimaru Kabuto ????"Kabuto," Orochimaru said from behinds the map, "remember we're dealing with a number of interesting teams out there besides Sasuke kun, remember not to let your guard down."
"Hai, Orochimaru sama," Kabuto said ordering the taxi to follow Shikamaru's team.
"And…" before Orochimaru could finish there came a BANG!
Noitora Zaraki
"Crash them!" Noitora yelled, "destroy anyone in front of us!!!"
"Faster!" Zaraki yelled pointing his blade at the driver.
"Hai!" the driver shrieked, gunning faster, Orochimaru decided not to fight these two, "ku ku ku go faster now driver san."
The driver nodded, Both cars speed up bypassing Shikamaru's car completely, "don't bother let them go ahead," Shikamaru yawned.
The driver nodded.
"What is your name…?" Tobi asked the driver eagerly.
"Se—se..sean." the man stammered.
"Good Sean," Tobi said cheerfully patting the man on the back, "whatever that you heard here DOES NOT leave this car hear me?"
"I..don't know anything! Don't know anything!" The man yelled with quivering feet.
"Tobi says you're a good boy," Tobi said patting the driver on the cheek.
Sosuke smiled, "ask the poor man whenever he wants a cookie?"
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Sutter Middle School"…." Sakura was silent. Ino looked at the building in awe, "so this is how a normal school is suppose to look like….."
"Let's hurry up and find the clue," Sakura said snapping out of her daze, looking up and down the school map
"Okay!" Ino started running, "I look there near that huge whatever it is….you look in that large square box over there!"
"I think it's a sparing area," Sakura weakly as Ino ran off to examine the statue of whatever it is. Suddenly there came a crash in the large square box followed by girls screaming. Both girls looked at each other, "what the hell is that?" written on their faces.
"We're saved!" sighed the driver in relief as the car finally sided to a stop, Matsumoto climbed out of the car feeling a bit groggy like she just had a hangover. Inoue was completely fine, she waved, "oi you two, are you alright???" Inoue asked.
""No," Matsumoto said still groggy.
"The car!" the driver screamed and started crying.
"I'll heal it," Inoue offered, and the driver looked at her as if she was nuts, "never mind it take too long to explain, Rangiku san, look for the clue box please."
"Ah…alright," Matsumoto staggered a bit, "hm..oh, there clue box is marked by yellow and red right?"
"Yup," Inoue nodded taking out her fairies to heal the car, "let's take it and go."
Matsumoto giggled, "hm I wish we could stay around to see this…"
Inoue looked confused, "why?"
"Um, I may be mistaken," Matsumoto said looking at the universal sign for female, "but I think the car knocked the clue box into window of the girls locker room."
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I want to improve on the changing room scenes, guess who is going home first?
hope you enjoyed it!