"I can't say no

It's ripping me apart.

You get too close,

You make it hard to let you go."

Arthur woke up to the bright morning sun streaming through the window and the birds chirping. He laid in bed trying to cling to the last shred of his dream. He grasped for everything, anything that remained of that feeling of hope and belonging. Of not trotting over eggshells constantly.

He certainly knew that his relationship was dysfunctional, but as he turned over sleepily to look at the beautiful man next to him he couldn't help but feel that nothing could be more perfect. He couldn't help but sigh as he pushed the golden locks out of his French lover's face and caressed his cheek.

"Good morning, love."

"Good morning mon cher." Francis said, yawning and stretching up into Arthur's touch. His blue eyes met Arthur's as he propped himself up for a kiss. It was nothing out of the ordinary and although nice, really… boring. He sighed and broke the kiss. It was like this every morning. He woke up, Francis woke up, they shared an unextraordinary kiss and then Arthur went for his shower and Francis went to make breakfast. Every morning the same routine. Blast it all, Arthur was tired of it.

But whenever he looked at Francis, thought of leaving him; it seemed impossible. He would

never be able to escape the French man's pull and he knew it. What could he possibly do? It's not like anyone else could even begin to put up with Arthur's moodiness and temper. Hell, it was a miracle that they had lasted this long with all the fights they got in.

He needed to get up so that Francis didn't ask him what was wrong, he didn't need to know about Arthur's doubts. But after five months… five months out of a total of twelve that they had been dating. Five months that they had been crumbling, that is. Francis was surely used to this behavior in the mornings.

"Well I'm off to the shower then. You need to use the loo?"

"No, I…" He looked like he was about to say something, but cut himself off, "Never mind. Have a nice shower Arthur." He got up and walked slowly out of the room, glancing for a moment back at Arthur who could only look on and think about what he could possibly say to stop him from leaving, to fix things with the man he had once loved so dearly.

Francis was late coming home again. It almost completely ruined the surprise that Arthur had spent hours preparing in an effort to apologize for what ever it was that had caused them to get like this. He considered phoning him when he heard footsteps outside his door. This was it.

Arthur rushed over to the entry way to wait for the door to open, surely the man would love that. He loved all forms of being doted on. "This will work for certain. I've prepared everything right enough. He's sure to love it." He mumbled with conviction. A romantic dinner (not much of it actually prepared by him, seeing as he was a terrible cook) with rose petals and candles was the base recipe for romance, was it not? Was he missing anything? Yes, the flowers! He had gotten flowers.

Arthur rushed back to his room to grab them and heard the door open behind him. He ran to find them as Francis took off his coat and hung it up, arriving right as the man stepped into the main room.

"Mon Dieu, Arthur. What is all this? Did you do all of this?" Francis said, eyes widening. Arthur rarely did romantic things in general, much less this kind of thing.

"Well I, I supposed I should at least try to do something nice, so I prepared something, um, romantic?" He hoped to God that this could be considered romantic. Now he was doubting himself. But Francis's shocked expression faded away to be replaced with a smile.

"Yes! Oh yes Arthur, this is very romantic thank you~" He all but ran over to plant a kiss on Arthur's lips. And this kiss wasn't well… boring. It was exuberant and happy and full of passion. A great kiss. One that caused Arthur to all but melt into Francis as he kissed back. And for the first time in a while, Arthur felt disappointed when Francis pulled away.

"Come on, mon amour, I want to see the rest of my surprise." He said with a grin, grabbing Arthur's' hand and waiting to be led around. Arthur fought the urge to lead him over to the couch to have another kiss and instead settled for kissing the Frenchman on the cheek as he led Francis to the first stop, and hopefully not the last, through the apartment.

As the entered the dining room he heard a small gasp from Francis, who had covered his mouth with one hand.

"Wha-what are you so shocked about? You and I both know that there's no way I cooked most of this, so there's no way it'll cause you to vomit. Did I do something wrong? Well I tried my best, but I'm sorry. If you want we can-" he was cut off by Francis kissing him.

"Cherie you worry to much. It's perfect. Shall we?" He gestured to the table. Arthur relaxed, if Francis thought something was wrong he would let Arthur know. He lead Francis around the table and pulled his seat out like a true gentleman. He locked eyes with the man as he sat, searching for the same spark that had been there earlier only to see it quickly and obviously dissolving as Francis started eating. Saying that it was delicious and ambling on about his day, not really meaning most of it and just talking to fill the silence. Arthur suddenly remembered why he didn't do stuff like this. Remembered that soddy attempts at romance didn't work as a band-aid for his relationships.

"You look distracted. Is everything alright Arthur?" Francis asked, looking worried.

"I'm sorry, Francis." Arthur blurted out. He didn't know how to say that he felt like a failure.

"Mon Deiu, for what? The apartment looks lovely and this dinner is lovely and you're … well you could be lovelier I suppose, but still." Francis said, sounding indignant.

"What's that supposed to mean? And you honestly don't know what I'm apologizing for? Seriously?" Arthur said, trying not to raise his voice and failing as the past several months of their relationship crashed down on him. All of the fights, the lack of chemistry, the lost passion and longing to have what they had back.

"No, obviously I don't! And there's no need to yell if you're trying to apologize for… whatever it is that you're apologizing for!" Francis rubbed his eyes, trying to keep tears from falling, "Now look. I'm fucking.. I'm crying. Why do you always do this you pompous BRAT?!" He ended yelling at the top of his voice.

"I don't know, maybe it's because-"

"Because what? What have you been doing these past few months that requires an apology Gambling, lying to me? Cheating? Or were you just apologizing for the mess you were about to make?" Francis yelled, cutting Arthur off.

"WOULD YOU LISTEN TO ME? I'm just trying to be honest about my feelings and you accuse me of cheating on you? Surely you would know me well enough to know that I would never do that!" Arthur yelled back, not noticing the tears on his cheeks. "I'm trying to fix things with us and you-"

"Just what needs fixing? I thought we were doing just fine until you started being moody and distant! Typical Englishman. Brooding about non-existent problems that he is causing!" Francis yelled "I want to know just what is wrong with you that you think something's wrong."

"THIS. This is wrong Francis! We shouldn't be fighting and-"

"Well then why did you-"

"Not everything is all my fault Francis! maybe you should take your head out of your arse and try and read the atmosphere. You know sometimes I think that the only thing you're good at is looking pretty and you're head is only decoration. Seriously, would you grow up?" Arthur yelled, trying to cut Francis down enough so that he could actually say what he needed to say without being interrupted by the blithering idiot. "Obviously something is wrong and yet you just deny it. For FIVE months! And yet instead of trying to fix the issues in out relationship you just deny it and make excuses! And you accuse me of cheating on you. Oh yes, like you're one to talk." Francis looked shocked through his tears. And Arthur knew he had struck a chord. Arthur lowered his eyes and tried to stem the flood of emotions when Francis stayed silent. He took a deep breath and continued softly,

"You and that Joan woman right? I've seen your texts to her on accident. I thought you were a better man Francis, really."

"Arthur…" Francis said, standing up and walking around the table to him. "I'm sorry that you saw my flirting and if that's what caused this…" He reached to touch Arthur's face, but Arthur jerked away.

"Flirting is just as bad Francis. I didn't want to believe it but… Oh lord, I need a drink. I'll text you in the morning but for now I think-" he choked back a sob. This was really happening. "I think we should take a break from each other." He covered his face, not wanting to see Francis's expression, and ran out the door, not even pausing to grab his coat.

As he slammed the door he heard Francis call out to him.

"Attendez! S'il vous plaît revenir! Je peux fixer ce problème! S'IL VOUS PLAÎT!"