Well, everything was packed. Not an article of clothing was left in the drawers, not a single poster left hanging on the wall. The room was completely empty, the white of the walls almost mocking as Castiel's eyes scanned the perimeters of the dorm. Nothing left but the one suitcase on the bed – the one he was procrastinating against bringing out into the hallway. He'd had to clean out everything completely, since the family had been speaking of moving – speaking of making him transfer. Shaking fingers picked up the handle of the lone bag, Castiel's breathing picking up as he shut off the lights. One final look – and the door closed behind him.
Christmas break was always more painful than summer vacation. During the long months of summer, time off from school could at least be used freely. During the winter, however, holidays took over everyone's lives – and Castiel was not at all fond of being forced to endure his family for prolonged periods of break. It wasn't that Castiel didn't like his family – of course he loved them, with his entire heart – it was just that none of his siblings would ever stop arguing; his parents were never even around. He could remember, from his childhood, the days where he would sit outside, staring at the road, wondering if his father would ever come back. On those days, Castiel would refuse food, would refuse to move, and would just sit and stare until the sun finally set and darkness impaired his vision. One of his brothers or sisters would always retrieve him once the stars were out, and he still remembered the tears, the questions – and the lack of answers. Gabriel had always tried to convince him to stop worrying, to stop caring so much and to take care of himself. Gabriel was the funny older brother – but even his humor was not enough to make Castiel want to go home and face Michael and Lucifer's arguing.
The pre- med student's steps were slow, his feet dragging along the tiles lining the resident hall's floor. The grip on the bag was tightening, the knuckles of his hands turning deathly pale. The one person he would have wanted to say goodbye to had already taken off; truthfully though, it was probably half his fault, considering he hadn't told Dean about his family wanting him to transfer. With downcast eyes, Castiel moved through the abandoned hallways, taking up as much time as he could before he'd have to get into the cab which would take him to the bus station. Even with dreadfully slow steps, however, the sunlight grew more and more visible the closer he got to the glass doors. It was time to stop wallowing, he knew. It was time to raise his head, walk through those doors, and face whatever might be waiting for him outside of this building, outside of this current life. His one regret was –
"Didn't think it would be important to tell me that you might not be coming back?"
That voice – Castiel's head popped up immediately, his blue eyes widening as he drank in the sight before him. Dean in the doorway. Dean illuminated by the sun, the freckles on his flushed face standing out and calling to him. Dean's lips curled into a disapproving grimace, his green eyes so intensely dark that Castiel sucked in a breath of air, desperate to form words and swallow the fast-forming lump that had miraculously appeared in his throat.
"I – I – I'm sorry," Castiel was stammering, a nervous habit that he had worked so hard at kicking. It was just the pre-med student's nature, though, and he had found it impossible to ditch. "I thought – you were leaving with your brother and I was not about to take up your time any more than I had, and –" He was rambling, and he had to stop, had to breathe, had to clutch the bag in his hands tighter in order to stay grounded. It was so easy to get lost with Dean.
"Cut the shit Cas." A hand on his face – a rough, calloused hand, which was so achingly familiar – propelled him forward, desperate for the closeness even with the anger in the other man's tone. His bag was pulled from him, his grip letting up as soon as Dean's fingers had brushed over his skin. "You should have told me." Dean's lips at the corner of his mouth, making him smile, making him want to forget about his family, his problems – the cab waiting outside.
"Dean." But the other man's fingers were at his lips, shushing him, and he couldn't bring himself to argue, or to speak any further. Dean always made him want to listen.
"I spoke with Gabriel on the phone today," Dean was chuckling, his breath so unbelievably warm against Castiel's face, "And he told me of your current… problem. So I'm here to pick you up. You're gonna' spend Christmas with Sammy and…well, me of course," another chuckle, closer to Castiel's ear this time, "Excited?"
Gabriel? Gabriel called Dean? That was strange – he remembered distinctly telling his older brother to stay out of his affairs, especially when it concerned school and Dean. But – if Dean knew about the predicament Castiel was currently facing, surely he knew the problem stretched far past the holidays.
"But Dean," The words were hard to get out – he had to stop multiple times, cussing under his breath because this man that meant so much to him was so close by, taking his thoughts and reason away. "I cannot just run away – I can't abandon my family when they need me. Michael and Lucifer – they'll be furious. They've ordered me to transfer, to move with them, to study from home…and Dean, this school doesn't have a good online program and –"
"Jesus Cas, it's only been a few nights and I can't believe I forgot how much you ramble." Dean's hand moved back to Castiel's face, lifting his chin, which had dipped down considerably as he started rambling. When Castiel talked, he hardly ever had the courage to meet Dean's eyes. Now he was forcing their eyes to meet – Dean was forcing him to look back into those pools of green, and he could feel his resolve melting. "We'll figure it out, Cas," And Dean looked so serious, and Cas couldn't doubt him, couldn't – "We always do, angel." God, that pet name. Castiel had no idea where Dean had come up with it, but he only used it when what he was saying was of the utmost importance. "Please, Cas?" Castiel was silent, sucking in air faster and faster, until he finally agreed with a short nod of the head.
"Good." The tension was draining from Dean's face, his forehead smoothing out as his lips turned up genuinely for the first time since speaking. Fingers were moving from Castiel's chin up to his hair, and Dean had suddenly grabbed a fistful, gripping tightly, pulling Castiel's lips to the man's in the doorway – the man Castiel knew he would never say goodbye to.
"Does this mean," Cas breathed out, once they had pulled apart, his usually pale cheeks a flaming red, "That you'll get a double with me next semester?"
Dean didn't answer – but he laughed, picking up Castiel's bag and flinging it over his shoulder.
"Let's go home."