Chapter 1:
When I arrived in prison, no one knew who I was but all the girls lusted after me. The Aussie accent caught their attention. In their non-stop flirtations they never stopped to ask themselves, would she be interested in me? Would this Stella girl I've been harassing for weeks even like me or am I just wasting my time? These women would come up to me, 2 teeth in their mouth, both of which were rotting, and they couldn't even hardly say my name let alone be aggressively flirtatious. I'm not saying I'm superficial, but when you've got your options, most people would go for someone a bit more hygienic.
However, when I arrived there was one girl who caught my attention. Her eyeliner never smudged or looked cheap even though we all know it is (Commissary sells shit makeup). She walked strong but humbled. She was tall, beautiful, and had killer tits. Her name was Alex. I was completely taken by her but I never got the balls to talk to her until I started hanging around Piper. She didn't exactly like me, and I didn't exactly like the things I'd heard about her from Piper. She even referred to me as Justin Bieber one day. I don't even look like Justin Bieber.
Anyways, today they released a few prisoners from Max back into the normal prison. Hell, nothing is normal here but you get the idea. Nicky and I had actually grown a bit fond of each other over here. It's impossible to think Litchfield can even have this many people right up the road from the facility with only 200 girls. Here, I'd be willing to bet there's at least 500.
"Hey, Carlin! Wait up. Why you walkin' to the van like a fuckin' Indie singer posing for their new album huh? What's on your mind?" Nicky says.
"Just... girls. As always." I say, lightly.
"Eh? Which ones?" she interrogates.
"Vause. Any idea why she hates my fucking guts?"
"Well, from what you've told me, you fucked her girlfriend."
"Right, right. But from what Piper told me, the first time they fucked, Alex had a girlfriend."
"You still infatuated with Chapman?"
"No, no. Don't get me wrong, I still have very confusing feelings towards her. Both rage and admiration, but honestly, Vause was the first girl I noticed when I got in. I'd really like to know her better. Maybe if I offered her a free tattoo?"
"Carlin, if you think Chapman or the meth heads haven't stolen any sight of a needle by now you're dumber than ya fuckin' look."
We get in the back of the van. Maritza is driving now. I start to wonder what happened to Pennsatucky. And why Maritza is the only girl in here that prefers I call her by her first name. Maybe some joke... like "watch the Aussie try to pronounce my weird ass name".
She checks her makeup while the CO slams the door. He looks like a fucking rapist squirrel. She buckles up and starts the van. We head back to the normal place. As we arrive, there's 2 other CO's waiting for us. We get out of the van and I look at the familiar building. I notice a familiar face in one of the windows upstairs. Chapman. I ignore her glares and walk inside.
We get to through the usual changing into orange so everyone can see you're either back or new, squat and cough, fingerprints, ID's, and finally our dorms that smell like rotten brie cheese and piss. And, this is home.