Check Your Pockets

OR

Sex, Drugs, and Pocket Monsters

=T12=

A/N: Yes, more "3 Pages of Crack Akuroku" brought to you by TanglepathTwelve! I needed a break from my very depressing and involved chaptered Akuroku. "Marital Spat" was the first of the 3-paged crack, and it seems to have gone over well. So, ENJOY!

Axel barged ungracefully into Roxas's room. For a moment he looked in danger of falling over onto his face, but then he didn't. This took up enough time for the blush on Roxas's face to wear off. "Hel-lo, Axel," he greeted, only halfway suggestively. "And what are we up to?"

Axel blinked at him, grinned, stopped grinning, and then whined very loudly, "Rox-ass, give it baaack."

Roxas blinked too, but in shock, not confusion. "Axel… you're drunk."

"So what else is new?" Axel countered dismissively. He held out his hand demandingly. "Now give it back."

"Give what back, exactly/" Roxas sighed. He mentally determined what day it was. Tuesday. Of course. He should have seen this coming.

"My N i n t e n d o," the redhead replied extremely slowly, apparently so his intoxicated mind could make sure he'd said it right. "My Gameboy. Give it baack."

"Axel, it's in your car. Or what's left of it anyway," Roxas explained as calmly as he could. Which wasn't very.

"But… but… how come?"

"Because you took most of the pieces to try and link the AC controls to the laser handgun you stole from Xigbar and installed in your door. So you could shoot drivers of the Sunday and backseat variety."

"Xigbar says you've got my Nintendo Gameboy," Axel insisted. "And I want it back so he can trade me his Level 100 female Charizard!"

"Well I don't have it. Also I think he's lying to you."

"Yes you do and no he's not!" Axel exclaimed confusingly. "It's in your pockets."

Roxas boredly turned out his pockets. There was nothing in them except a 711 receipt, a Mountain Dew bottle cap, and a piece of paper with Axel's phone number on it.

"That has my phone number on it," Axel pointed out.

"Yes it does, Catherine Obvious," Roxas retorted sarcastically.

"Stalker," Axel snarled.

"Boyfriend," Roxas reminded.

"Gay," Axel accused stupidly.

"…Gay," Roxas reminded.

I'm too hot to be gay," Axel insisted.

"You're only hot because your power is fire," Roxas said for no reason.

"Charizard's power is fire! Now give me my Nintendo!"

"I swear to you, I do not have it."

"It's in your pockets!"

"No- it- is- not."

"Not those pockets! Your other pockets!"

"I do not have any other pockets!" Roxas flagrantly lied. All the Organization coats had inside pockets. He kept pictures of kittens in his.

Okay, no, that was also a lie. He hid Axel's cigarettes on his person whenever he found them. And he also carried around a bottle of Rohypnol he'd gotten from Zexion for his birthday, in case an opportunity for its use ever presented itself. But no way was he ever going to tell Axel that, even if he was drunk. Axel's brain had an affinity for scandal, and more than likely he would remember afterward.

"I don't believe you," Axel scoffed, crossing his arms imperiously.

"Fine then. That's your problem," Roxas gave.

"I still think you're hiding it."

"And where exactly would I be hiding it?"

"In your pants."

"Well, search me if you want to. I don't have it."

"Ew no."

Roxas lifted an eyebrow. "And why ever not?"

"You'll get your gay all over me."

Roxas gave him a look of 'You're an idiot', strode purposefully forward, and ran his hand down Axel's sleeve as if he was wiping something on him. "There. You're already infected."

Axel scowled dangerously down at him, and Roxas grinned inwardly. "Whatever," the redhead spat. "I think this is all a big trick. You have my Gameboy and I will find it!" He grabbed Roxas by the shoulders, yanked the zipper on his trenchcoat down, and shoved it off.

Roxas smirked.

Axel proceeeded to give him an oddly professional pat-down that soon added a blush to the blonde boy's sly facial expression.

His back pocket contained his cell phone, which was similar in size to a Gameboy SP. Roxas was very aware of this fact. Axel uttered a little 'Aha!' under his breath when he found it, and immediately plunged his hand into the pocket, which only made Roxas blush more.

He pulled out the phone, turned it over several times in confusion, and then stared blankly at it. His face was so full of shock and despair that Roxas couldn't take it anymore.

The blonde boy knocked Axel's legs out from under him and followed him to the floor, capturing his lips in a long kiss that made Axel completely forget about both his Gameboy and his supposed straightness.

Well, sure, Roxas enjoyed it, but the second he could tell Axel was out of it he reengaged the plan. He threw his trenchcoat back on, snatched Axel's Gameboy off of his desk, and bolted down the hallway for Xigbar's room.

That Level 100 female Charizard would be HIS!

Fin