Isiah: What up! Isiah and Tom here!
Tom: What up!
Isiah: And...remember Isiah02's Rules to Survive? Well, this is a very similar story call Isiah02's Royalty Rules. I figured since I've done an Alvin and the Chipmunks rule guide, I could do one for Sofia the First. I'm SUPER HYPE for this!
Tom: Okay, Mr. Super Hype. How about we get started.
Isiah: Let's go! By the way, expect modern references.
Every regular household has the simple rules. Clean up after yourself, no running in the house, all that stuff. But with a royal family of five, a sorcerer, castle sterward, group of castle maids, an army of castle guards, animal friends, two story writers, and two OCs, simple rules doesn't do a thing to them. In the castle of Enchantia, here are some rules, tips, and tricks to stay cool.
Rule 1: If there is any fan mail for Isiah with the hash tag simple on it, please throw it away
Isiah: Real talk, I am getting so tired of fan mail that's saying ,"Hi Isiah02, I #### your stories!" What are they saying? Love? Hate? Tell me dang it!
Roland: I can relate to the messages that I get from other kingdoms. I really hate them myself.
Rule 2: A castle guard shrugging off shotgun bullets does not make him a super thug
Miranda: Seriously, when did this conversation even happen?
James: Okay, so...remember when that mercenary criminal broke into the castle a couple months ago?
Miranda: Yeah.
James: Well, he had a shotgun and he shot one of the guards and it didn't phase him.
Miranda: Well, it still doesn't make him a super thug.
James: But it didn't phase him.
Miranda: James.
James: Fine.
Rule 3: If you value living, you will never. Ever. EVER! Stalk Sofia.
Baileywick: I think it's quite clear that anyone will lose it if they're being followed.
Isiah: Well, clearly you haven't been paying attention, despite how long you've worked in the castle. Just saying.
*Sofia is talking a walk in the castle while Cedric is following her weirdly*
Sofia: Mr. Cedric, you're really starting to creep me out.
*Cedric continues to follow Sofia*
Sofia: *Obviously annoyed enough* I'm serious, Mr. Cedric. Cut it out!
*Sofia continues to walk while Cedric continues to stalk her*
Sofia: *Reaching her breaking point* This is gonna go against my good nature.
*Sofia turns around and punches Cedric in the stomach making him groan in pain and fall to the ground*
Tom: Damn. He just wanted five minutes of attention. But she always had to complain.
Isiah: Yeah...I guess. Moving on.
Rule 4: No one can set foot in the royal weapons room without clearance
Roland: All that favored that this rule had to be repeated several times, raise your hand.
*all adults raises their hands*
Baileywick: Agreement here, your majesty.
Cedric: I was around enough times to hear about it.
Miranda: Really tiring.
Rule 5: No asking Sofia to try on her amulet
Sofia: Seriously, I can't even stress this rule out enough. It's bad enough I had to tell Amber to stop over a million times. Now other people are asking me to try it on.
James: C'mon, Sof. Just one little turn.
Sofia: James, I swear if you ask me one more time, I will slap you.
James: All I'm asking is for one- *gets slapped* OW! Okay, I'm sorry!
Isiah: I'm starting to see the point now.
Tom: Me too.
Rule 6: The Malefor Challenge is not to be done in the castle
Amber: Deep down, the Malefor Challenge is the most scariest thing I've ever seen.
Tom: But all there that's there is just a dark dragon spirit.
Amber: Yeah, a dark dragon spirit that almost came back to life after being defeated many years back.
*James, Amber, and Tom are in the living room with two pencils on top of each other and a piece of paper that says Yes on one side and No on the other side*
James: So, what is this thing again?
Tom: The Malefor Challenge. This is cool, it just requires a bit of patience. Here we go. *clears throat* Malefor, are you here?
*after a second, the pencil on top points to yes*
James: Wow, brilliant!
Cedric: *barges in* DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE?! YOU'RE BRINGING BACK A DARK DRAGON FROM MILLIONS OF YEARS BACK!
Amber: OH MY GOD, NO!
Isiah: It was a good thing Cedric arrived when he did. Or else we would've all been dead.
Rule 7: If Sofia asks you how she looks in her new dress, for crying out loud, try to keep cool and answer her properly
Isiah: I know Princess Sofia looks too cute in her new dress, but c'mon. Don't go over smitten with her.
*Sofia is just getting done putting on her new dress when Cedric walks in*
Sofia: Hi, Mr. Cedric.
Cedric: *immediately smitten by her look* Hello, Princess Sofia.
Sofia: *gives Cedric a better view* How do I look?
Cedric: *completely love struck* Super hot.
Sofia: What?
Cedric: *back to reality* Oh, I mean, beautiful. You look beautiful.
Sofia: Okay?
Isiah: *sigh* Moving on.
Rule 8: No insulting Clover
Clover: Finally I got a part in this story.
Isiah: You're lucky you're even getting a part. You still owe me money.
Clover: Whatever. Anyway, last time, Amber called me a dirty fat wild animal and I got payback by leaving rabbit droppings where she would least notice it.
Mia: Where at? Her bedroom floor?
Clover: No. Her bed.
Tom: Pretty savage if you ask me.
Clover: Yeah, but I bet she won't call me fat no more.
Rule 9: James + anger = Johnny Cage
*James is eating breakfast when Amber suddenly has an idea to sneak a pancake from him*
James: *catches Amber's hand* You take one and I'll make sure you don't babies when you turn older.
*Knowing that James is watching, another idea forms in Amber's head*
Amber: *Gasps* Look! A giant cannon!
James: *turns his head* Where?!
*While James has his back turned, Amber quickly sneaks a pancake from his plate*
James: There isn't a- *Realizes that a pancake is gone* You. Little-
Isiah: The next part we decided to cut out. It's too painful to watch.
Rule 10: For crying out loud, will everyone stop giving me ideas for a fourth installment of 10 Ways to get Executed in Enchantia!
James: C'mon, 02. What's wrong with my cannon idea?
Amber: And my idea where someone steals my tiara?
Isiah: Look. Let me do the execution ideas when I can, alright?!
Amber: But when are you posting the forth installment?
Isiah: I don't know! When I feel like it!
Isiah: Alright, y'all, just like Rules to Survive, we're doing ten rules a set. We hope you're enjoying it so far, even though we just started. Tune in the next chapter when we do set number two in Merroway Cove.
Tom: But until then, give this story a nice review. As always, no flames please. If you haven't yet, check out the little short story called Scared of getting a Disease. As always, we love you guys. Thanks for supporting us everyday. See y'all later. Holla at your boys! Yeah!
Isiah: Until next time.