Disclaimer- I do not have the pleasure of owning Torchwood. If I did, there would be less aliens and more beautiful Welsh vowels. As you can tell by the aliens, the BBC has the honour of owning the show.
Spoilers- Um, a few for 'Day One', I guess, but nothing that will ruin the episode.
Rating- K+
General Notes- So I was exploring the dark corners of my laptop today and I found this. I wrote it sometime last summer when a friend bet that I couldn't write 500 words in ten minutes (typing). These are the five hundred (well, six hundred and five, to be precise) words which I wrote in that time. Pure crack and not to be taken at all seriously, because you really don't have time to think about what you're writing when you only have ten minutes to produce five hundred words. But anyway, yeah, I found it today and I thought it might make a few people smile.
-
-
-
Five Hundred Words
-
"Five hundred words?!? That's no problem, I can write that in ten minutes!" Jack boasted scornfully in response to Gwen's comment, and the ex-policewoman laughed, winking at Tosh and Ianto (Owen was in the lab performing some kind of gruesome experiment- Gwen did not even want to try and imagine what. If it benefitted them, fine; if not, she did NOT want to know.)
Oblivious to the winks that passed between his subordinates, Jack plonked himself down in front of the nearest computer, opened up a word document and began typing. The other three team members in the hub gathered around Tosh's computer, grinning and struggling to hide their giggles as Jack's words began to flash up on the screen. He was so engrossed in his writing that he didn't notice the others had intercepted his computer, and so as his long elegant fingers continued to fly over the keys, the resultant taps so fast they sounded almost like an angry bee's hum, the other three watched in glee.
"Ooh, I bet Owen will be mad when he knows he's missed this!" Tosh exclaimed, tapping a few keys in order to save what Jack had written. She had every intention of forcing her boss to show them anyway, but it didn't hurt to keep a copy of the challenge nonetheless- she was sure that Jack would delete his work just as soon as he had finished the challenge.
"Five minutes left," Ianto muttered, tearing his eyes away from the screen just long enough to glance down at the old-fashioned stopwatch in his left hand. Gwen barely registered the comment, so engrossed was she in the words appearing as if by magic and almost at light-speed (or so it seemed) on Tosh's screen. She hadn't known Jack for all that long, but in the few months she'd been working at Torchwood she had become quite close to her boss, as well as discovering from the others his fearsome reputation as a sexual predator (Owen's words, not hers!) despite the fact that the team were still locked in the eternal dispute as to whether Jack was gay or not. Owen thought yes- the 1940s military fashion was a dead giveaway! Gwen and Tosh thought not- there was enough chemistry between Jack and Gwen to illuminate Cardiff for a month. Ianto refused to pass judgement. Gwen suspected that this was because he already knew the answer and didn't want to divulge Jack's secret by saying. The young Welsh brunette also suspected that Jack was both fully aware of and delightfully amused by the whole debate- he would probably be incredibly flattered. Anyway, word was he would flirt with any sentient being (as long as it was hot enough, Tosh claimed).
All this information put together, Gwen would have predicted that whatever five hundred words Jack wrote would be smut in some form or another- good fun for a boring day at the office, but NOT something to tell Rhys about when she got home! Instead, however, to her great amusement, she found herself faced with a story about… fluffy pink bunny wabbits!
"Ianto, how long?" she whispered, and her colleague reluctantly tore his eyes away from the screen again to check his stopwatch.
"Time's up!" he announced, and he and Gwen silently fled from Tosh's screen, not wanting to look suspicious. Jack raised an eyebrow as he turned round from his own screen. He was fully aware both of their eager eyes and their suspicions as to what he would write. He just hoped that they would enjoy the story he had hashed together, tailored specially for Gwen…