I was once again watching fanvideos on Youtube about Mark & Addison (btw, fanvideos about this couple are truly the best!) and I realized just how amazing they are...were :_(. Yes, they never managed to work together, but I believed they would somehow end up together until ...no, I'm still in denial of that tragic event in GA S8 finale/S9 premiere that gave their story definite and heartbreaking closure. So this story is kind of therapy for me and even though it may be a little late for fic like this or it might have been written before I just needed to write it. English is not my first languague, so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes. And please no bashing on any couple!
It's AU after GA 7x18 Song Beneath the Song and it's my very first fanfiction, so please tell me your opinion on it. I plan for it to have 15 chapters or so... Btw, titles of chapters will be song titles (just like in GA) or pieces of some song lyrics.
Just so you know: One Republic - Feel Again (whole fic) and Coldplay - Fix You (chapter 1)

Alex's POV
„She's the best, he wants the best for Torres!"
„Yeah, it makes me look like a complete moron in front of my collegues!"
„They're not thinking about you, they're thinking about Torres!" I shouted to overtop the volume of the helicopter landing on the hospital roof. Lucy's attitude was understandable, I hate people thinking I'm not good enough to do my job too, but this was just a different case. I believe Addison Montgomery is someone every OB in this country knows about and honestly, my girlfriend could be really selfish sometimes. Anyway, one of the best gyno specialists and neonatal surgeons in the U.S. came over to us, I took her bag and when we got down to third floor of the hospital, where Callie's room was, I handed her Callie's chart from the counter in the hallway. Addison really quickly looked over it, frowned a little and stepped into Callie's room.

Addison's POV
Why did Callie have to go through something like this? When Richard called me few hours ago, the first though I had was: „Seriously, what kind of curse is lying on this hospital that its doctors can never get a little peace?" For example, not that long ago, the information about the gunman walking around SGMWH spread across the media around whole U. S.
I was thinking about all people in here, people who were close to me – wait, there aren't too many of them anymore. It's really strange feeling. Somehow, during that 3 years I've been working in Los Angeles I've lost almost...yeah, almost all ties to people who work here. It's better that way – this place is just full of haunting memories and when I saw parts of it today, they all came back – the supply closet, where once Meredith found me crying, the stairwell, on which Mark lied that he had slept with someone after I broke our 60 days pact, then...no, this memory was probably the worst. Right now looking at that stairwell I can still see that devastated look on his face and almost hear the words: „Once a cheater, always a cheater."
I got over it, I forgot a long time ago, only right now being at that place I realized maybe I didn't.
When I stepped into Callie's room, I had to send that OB Dr. Fields away almost immediately. What kind of doctor she is that she hadn't though about giving Callie's baby steroids to strenghten her lungs? Also, she failed to stop the contractions and now we probably had to deliver the baby as soon as possible. Only, the risks for a baby being born this early are too high. I put my hands around Callie's belly trying to find out anything important, but also looked at her bruised face, intubated mouth and head covered with bandage, obviously after brain surgery. That look was painful.
„Sweetie, I'm so sorry. Don't you worry. We got this, the attendings...we're all gonna meet, we're gonna come up with the plan. I promise you. We're gonna make a plan, we're gonna figure out what do do, it's gonna be alright. You're gonna be ok."
She had to. Callie was my closest friend here in Seattle and she didn't deserve any of this.
We had a meeting with the attendings, but ended up shouting at each other...everyone was afraid of a different health condition. We agreed to wait through the night and come up with something next morning. When I was leaving, it was already after midnight and that's when I first saw Mark. Yes, Mark pacing around Callie's room, then sitting down and looking at her, with such caring and worried eyes. I though about what he had become. I suddenly couldn't help thinking how amazing he was and also how sorry I felt for him. These were his best friend and his daughter – under whatever circumstances was she conceived. It wasn't my bussiness to ask that question. We all know Mark and...I felt one particular thought coming, but I couldn't deal with it at that moment and I pushed it aside. But I just couldn't help wondering about his relationship with Lexie. Cos I have one still fresh and truly painful memory of us talking about her in my bed and me persuading Mark to go back to her. With pityful eyes I rather went away and found a free on-call-room on other floor to sleep in.

Next day I couldn't ignore him anymore. He was leaning against the counter outside Callie's room when I walked out of it and I told him something abot her state I though he'd be interested in. I don't really remember what it was, because at that time the monitor by Callie's head started beeping, her blood pressure bottoming out. We had to rush her to the OR immediately, because her condition was getting critical. Thousand of things needed to be taken care of and when her heart stopped beating for a while, I had no other choice, but to take the baby out. I still can't rationally explain how I managed to take care of that situation – of course I can medically, but emotionally – that's the other thing. I do things like this every day. But not to my friends and not to daughters of Mark Sloan. But I did it. At that time, in that OR I managed to be a great doctor just as I should. But two hours later when I came checking to the NICU I saw Mark standing next to Sofia's incubator and having such a loving look on his face, I couldn't stop the tears from making their way to my eyes and the thoughts I had pushed aside the day before from coming all over again. I rushed to the bathroom and leaned against the sink overwhelmed with everything, but mostly with the thought of Mark, who could have been this enchanted with his first daughter three and half years ago, if he hadn't been the way the had been at that time, if I hadn't been so unsure and scared and angry with the world, because of what my life had turned to be like. If I hadn't aborted her. Ella. Silently crying all my other bad decisions were running through my head – everything I should've done, everything I should've said to him and everything that could have been 4 or 3 or 2 or 1 year ago. And then came a question, you'd expect to follow these thoughts, but it was the one I was the most afraid of and the one I really didn't want to deal with.
„Do you still love him?" and no matter how much my brain refused, my heart could not be fooled. It was excruciating. I didn't have any more energy to go look for some hotel or whatever to sleep at, so again I just laid my head in the nearest on-call-room.

„Callie has waken up!" I heard the next morning before I came to the other side of the hallway. Suddenly I felt thrilled. I rushed to her room with big smile plastered across my face. She had a lot of physical therapy ahead of her, but right now she was lying on her bed smiling, I felt wave of releasement and just ran to her. I stopped myself from pulling her into a hug at last second.
„Come on Addie, think, she has all those wounds and incisions, they are scared of all kinds of infection and that's why she can't even hold her baby yet."
I though about how hard it must be. I sat down and we started talking. I realized, how I'd been missing talking to Callie. The last time we talked like this, it was...I don't even know how long ago. She said she was getting married to Arizona. It felt good thinking about how people still could find love and happiness, even in their darkest hours. But when Callie started about Mark, how he was taking care of Sofia all day, bringing Callie photos and updates on her and everything, I couldn't bear it anymore and covered my face with one hand as if Callie not seeing my feelings would save me from having to confront them. Callie suddenly stopped talking, I looked at her, she looked at me and then she remembered. She covered her mouth as if she wanted to take back everything she said and then in pleading tone of voice she let out: „I'm sorry. I didn't realize how painful this all must be for you. I mean that thing you told me about once, with Mark and onesie and abortion and...I'm sorry."
„It's not just that."
„What..."
„It's not just that... More than a year ago, Mark brought his daughter over to LA for me to help her and the child she was expecting... And that day Evan... Evan, the most perfect baby in the world, was conceived. And I...he's younger than his nephew. And now he's a big brother and...Mark..."
It was out.

Reviews are much appreciated!