A/N: This story is a Christmas gift to my beta and good friend, Ria Binger. She gave me the pairing, and I admit I kind of ignored the prompts save for the song "Cruise" by Florida-Georgia line, which is pretty loosely interpreted. Sorry about the lack of prompt usage, I kind of got carried away.

I do not own Harry Potter or NCIS. I am borrowing the characters, playing with them a bit, and returning them in nearly the same condition in which I took them. I make no profit from this.

Even though it was mid summer the sky was growing dark when their team finally got done for the weekend. Or, more accurately, when Gibbs got done for the weekend. The rest of the team just waited for him, following him out only after he indicated he was ready to call it quits and go home. They walked out to the parking lot together, chatting about what their weekends held.

"Figures you'd be ready to devote your entire weekend to a new video game, McGeek," Tony teased as they left the building.

"I have been waiting for this new version since they announced it seven months ago," Tim defended. "I think one weekend isn't too much."
"With you, one weekend turns into two, which turns into three, and before we know it we have two months where we are treated to your kill count every Monday morning."

McGee sighed, but turned to Ziva. "How about you?" he asked.

"Nothing special," she replied, shifting her backpack. "Just hanging in with a few friends tomorrow night."

"Out, David," Tony snapped. "It's hanging out."

"Why would it be out if all we're planning on doing is staying in?" she asked, sounding frustrated.

"The wonders of the English language."

"Alright, Tony, what is it you are doing over the weekend?"

"Me?" he asked with a nervous chuckle. "Well, "I aim to misbehave". Serenity, 2005 Joss Whedon flick. It's about..."

"Cool it, DiNozzo," Gibbs said, and Tony preemptively flinched, expecting a head-slap that didn't come.

"Sorry, boss," he muttered.

"And who are you aiming to misbehave with?" Ziva asked. "Your mystery woman?"

"Ah, yes. The mystery girl. Well, when it comes down to it, "Every woman is a mystery to be solved". Johnny Depp as Don Juan..."

"Well, it looks like we're going to solve the mystery," McGee interrupted.

"Oh, yeah? Why is that?"

"Because the mystery seems to be waiting by your car."

Tony stumbled, but caught himself before falling, causing Ziva to chuckle. Indeed his so-called mystery girl was sitting on the back of his new Chevy Camaro. He had been seeing Hermione for five months, but liked to keep her separate from the team as he was afraid they'd tease him constantly. Hermione was a wonderful woman, but anyone who talked to her for more than five minutes would know that she was completely out of his league, young, beautiful,witty, and smarter than him by a long shot. And most of all she was willing to be patient with him and his hesitation about commitment. Why she even gave him a second glance the night they met at a bar would be forever beyond his comprehension, and he was waiting for something, anything to go wrong because things didn't get this good. She had to have a boyfriend back in England, or an unknown obsession with an oddball celebrity, some kind of flaw that would ruin what he felt might be building between them. Or, more likely in his mind, she would realize everything she had to offer to a man, and would find another, perhaps younger, perhaps richer, most likely more intelligent, definitely willing to fall in love with her as quickly as she deserved.

They were supposed to spend their weekend together in a secluded bed and breakfast somewhere in the middle of Virginia, but as he was getting out late he was under the impression they'd just leave early the next morning. Apparently Hermione had other plans. Still, he couldn't help but smile a bit as he saw McGee checking out her long, tan legs clad in a pair of shorts that were short enough to be interesting, but not so short as to be immodest. The type of shorts that drove most any warm-blooded heterosexual man wild. The length that a girl who was confident but not too flashy would wear. She slid from the trunk, landing lithely on the ground, dropping a backpack onto the asphalt next to her as the group approached. He jogged a little ahead to meet her, but she seemed to sense his discomfort with the situation and didn't offer any physical forms of affection, though she did flash him her dazzling smile.

"Hey, sweetie," he muttered, not loud enough for the rest of them to hear. "What are you doing here?"

"Long story short? Change in plans," she replied in an equally low voice.

"And you think coming to visit me here is the best way to tell me?"

"You know about me and cell phones." So far her lack of techno-sense was the only thing he thought she could work on, but to be honest the fact that she wasn't diving for her phone at every turn was more a turn-on than off. And while she admitted that she had never been one to rely on something with a screen for entertainment, especially when there was a book version available, she had not once turned down the opportunity to cuddle together on the couch to watch a classic with him.

"Don't tell McGee about that," he had just enough time to say before the rest of the group caught up. "Hey, everyone," he smiled nervously. "This is Hermione."

"Pleasure to meet you," she said with a wide, warm smile.

"Nice to meet you, too," McGee smiled, shaking her hand.

"The same," Ziva nodded, looking between her and Tony.

Gibbs just nodded and shook her hand. For a moment they just looked at each other, wordlessly exchanging all the information they needed to know about each other. There was something about her Gibbs liked, because he nodded one more time with a smile, and she returned with a small shrug and a smile of her own.

"So, what are your plans for the weekend?" Ziva asked Tony again.

"Even he doesn't know," Hermione cut in. "We're going to get lost."

"Lost?" Tony looked at her, surprised.

"Yeah. Lost."

"Like, 'we're leaving' get lost?"

"You are just going to have to trust me, Tony," she said playfully.

"Yeah, about that," he chuckled nervously as McGee patted him on the shoulder and his team started to wander away. "You know, it's been a long week, and perhaps we should just go home and, I don't know, order Chinese, watch a movie, or find some other way to waste some time while alone, and hit the bed and breakfast tomorrow."

"I've already canceled our reservations," she whispered in his ear before kissing his cheek and walking to the passenger side of the car. Without thinking Tony dove for the door, opening it for her, and taking her bag to put in the trunk. Sometimes his behavior around Hermione scared him. He thought they were going to be nothing more than a fling at first, but after spending a weekend with her he found her impossible to get out of his mind. And since then, though he would never admit it to anyone, least of all Gibbs, she had been addicting. His team didn't know how close they were when they had nicknamed her his 'mystery woman', there was something more to Hermione, something he yearned to know, something that kept him coming back to her. He knew whenever he was around her that there was more to her than meets the eye, and he was desperate to know as much about her as possible.

"And you have plans for somewhere else already?" he asked as he slid into the drivers seat.

"I wouldn't lie, Tony," she purred, placing a hand on his arm. When they got off the base she led him away from the city. After a while, when the hills were getting higher and mountains were visible in the distance, she told him to get off the main road. True to her word she took him through smaller roads, that quickly turned from paved to dirt, into a forest.

"So what is the point of this whole 'getting lost' thing?" he asked.

"I wanted to find a place where no one will disturb us."

"Ah, a little seclusion," he beamed. "What is it, a little cottage at the foot of a mountain? Because that sounds really romantic."

"Something like that."

He drove a few more miles before sighing. "Geez, Hermione. How much seclusion do we need?"

"As much as we can. I have something I have to tell you."

"Tell me?" he looked terrified for a second. "This wouldn't be the pitter patter of little feet sort of something, would it?"

"Not hardly!" she laughed, and he visibly exhaled.

"That's good," he laughed with her.

"Turn left up there by that big tree," she pointed to a small opening in front of a rather large tree.

"I'm starting to worry you're some kind of serial killer, leading me out to the middle of nowhe... shit!" he shouted as his front tire sunk deep into a hole, and he could hear the under body of the car hit a rock hard.

Hermione seemed remarkably calm as she climbed out with him to assess the damage. She retrieved a flashlight from the trunk and shined it on a desperately stuck car.

"Of course," Tony groaned. "I was starting to get attached to this thing."

"I'm sure we'll be able to get it out," she replied, hugging him in support.

"It's in past the rim. We're going to need some professional help," he muttered, pulling out his phone. "You wouldn't happen to know the name of whatever back-woods road we were just on, would you?"

"I don't think it had a name," she shrugged.

"All the same," he swore again as he started walking around with his phone in the air. "There's no signal. I guess we're going to have to start walking until we can get one."

"What's that over there?" she asked, pointing at a light through some trees, though the tone in her voice made it obvious she knew exactly what it was.

He stopped, looking at her, with his hand still in the air. "Did you plan this?"

"Kind of," she admitted with a smile.

"Even my car?"

"That wasn't totally in the plan, but I promise I'll make it right. In the morning," she said, tossing him his bag and shouldering her own. "Come on."

He watched her start walking through the trees, feeling skeptical, but also a rush of excitement. Before he knew it he was jogging after her. Through a small grove of trees he came across an already-erect tent and a campfire that looked like it had been there for hours.

"When did you put this together?" he asked in surprise as he caught up to her.

"A couple hours ago," she admitted.

"You do know it's illegal to leave a campfire unattended, right?"

"I didn't leave it unattended," she said, looking up into his face and biting her lip, a habit he found adorable even if he wouldn't admit it to anyone.

"That fire has been here a while. Did you have help?"

"Sort of."

He raised an eyebrow, trying to figure her out, then decided to go along with whatever she was planning, at least for a while. "Do you have a beer inside the tent? I could really use a drink," he muttered, starting towards the tent.

"Tony, wait," she called, jogging to block him. "Before you go in there, there's something I have to tell you."

"Can I just go in and drop my bag at least?"

"I really need to say it before you go in that tent."

"What are you hiding in there?" he asked, a smirk on his face.

"I..."

"There is something you really don't want me to see in there, right?" he said, taking a few steps towards it.

"Please, Tony, I have to explain..." she said, blocking him, but he skillfully ducked under her arm and grabbed the canvas opening, keeping her at bay with the other arm.

"Oh, come on, Hermione, what could be in there that is so bad?" he asked, opening the flap to the tent. His face fell as he looked around the interior. He closed the flap, studied the outside of the tent, then opened it again. He repeated the action, as if he were expecting the interior to somehow change.

"This is a hell of an optical illusion," he said, stepping in and holding his hand out trying to find something like painted canvas.

"It's not an optical illusion," she whispered behind him, putting her bag slowly on the ground.

"There is no way that the tent I just saw outside is a two-room tent with- is that a kitchen? Oh, look, there's a bathroom over there," he added, laughing to deal with his confusion.

"Tony," she said slowly, but he stepped into the tent and started to look around.

"This really is a great trick. How did you do this? It's insane. It's got to be built into the side of the hill or something. How long did it take to set this up? Is it a rental? Is that a fridge?"

"Tony," she said sharply, and he stopped and looked at her. "Put your bag down and come here."

Looking confused he did as she asked. She led him outside and slightly away from the tent. "Look at it, Tony. Where would I have the room to fake all that?"

Cautiously he stepped forward, walking around the tent, pressing on the sides. "There's got to be something. It's not possible that all that stuff fits in this little tent," he sounded unsure of himself as he stomped on the ground, hoping to hear a hallow noise like the real tent was buried under the fake. "How did you do it, Hermione? There's got to be some trick."

She took a deep breath, then said slowly, "Yes, there is a trick. Magic."

He laughed. "Seriously, Hermione, how'd you do it?"

She pulled her wand out of her pocket. She pointed it at the fire, which rose off the logs into the air, twisted into several shapes, turned a variety of colors, and then went back down to the logs, which caught like nothing had ever happened.

He chuckled, looking nervous and confused. "That... that's a good trick. How are you doing all this, Hermione?" he asked, staring at the fire and taking a step back.

"Magic," she repeated, sounding apologetic. "I'm a witch, Tony."

He laughed, shaking his head. "This is a good one. Did Abby put you up to this? I wouldn't doubt she'd be able to pull off something like this, with all those gadgets she's got in that lab of hers it was probably easy. Good one, Abs!" he called into the woods.

"There's no one there, Tony," she whispered.

"But there has to be. Magic..."

"Is real," she said firmly. "What would you like me to do to prove it to you?"

He looked around wildly. "My car," he stammered, unable to say anything else.

She pointed her wand over her shoulder. Immediately the Camaro's engine roared to life, the headlights turning on, the car lifting up enough that it pulled free of the mud. Then it drove itself forward, carefully navigating around trees, coming to a stop about ten feet from Tony. He looked at the car in disbelief, then lunged for it, opening the driver's door as if he expected someone to be there. He looked at each seat, then went to the back and checked the trunk.

"This is pretty convincing. Let me guess, you can pull a rabbit out of a hat, too," looking skeptical.

She conjured a hat from thin air, reached in, and pulled out a rabbit, which she placed on the ground. It hopped over to him, then hopped away.

"This," he said as he watched the rabbit hop into the woods. "This is just not possible."

"It is, Tony," she said softly, sympathetically. "It's what I wanted to tell you this weekend. I've been keeping it from you the whole time, I've had to, but I'm surprised you haven't picked up on it yet."

"Pick up on it?" he chuckled, his voice was an octave too high, but he paused before continuing. Some pieces began to fall into place, little things he didn't really think about before but that were now starting to make sense. They had once been walking, and Hermione had commented on a shop they passed that, to him, just looked like an empty and abandoned building. She didn't have a car, and was therefore reliant on public transportation, but she could get anywhere he wanted to meet in record time every time, even if she said she needed to get ready first. Once or twice there she had received a letter with no postage, both times he could have sworn he saw an owl fluttering away. And he always maintained there was something really off about her damn furball that she called a cat. As the realization finally hit him that Hermione was not lying to him he stumbled backwards a few steps, hitting his car and sinking onto the hood. Cautiously Hermione approached him, standing a few feet away and holding out a water bottle he was sure hadn't been in her hand a couple seconds before.

"You're a witch," he repeated, unable to tear his eyes away from hers. "Like a pointy-hat wearing, broomstick-riding, magic potions in a cauldron witch."

"I don't much like flying, but yes," she nodded once.

"Are you... are you the only one?"

"Not hardly. I don't really work for the British Embassy. I actually work for International Magical Law Enforcement. I'm here working on updating the International Statute of Secrecy."

"International...?"

"There are Magical Ministries all over the world."

"This is insane."

"That is exactly what I thought when Professor McGonagall, one of my teachers from my Magical school, told me I was a witch."

"Why are you telling me about this now?"

"Because I like you, and I want to keep up this relationship, but you deserve to know before either one of us becomes too emotionally invested in this. Telling you is technically against our laws, but as long as we're together, and you don't tell anyone it'll be okay."

He decided immediately that he had no desire to find out what would happen if they weren't together. He had a pretty good idea it meant he wouldn't remember the breakup, but she'd be gone.

"What are you thinking?" she asked a few tense moments later.

He chose his words carefully. "It's a lot to take in. I need a little time to get used to the idea."

"But... you do want to get used to the idea?" she asked, hope thick in her voice.

"Yeah," he nodded. "It might seem impossible, but I guess I'm going to have to put a bit of work into believing the impossible."

""Sometimes I believe in as many as six impossible things before breakfast,"" she quoted.

He felt a smile involuntarily cross his face. ""That is an excellent practice." Alice in Wonderland, 2010 version."

"I've been studying," she beamed.

"Well, I guess there are benefits to dating a witch," he said, standing and taking her in his arms to press a soft kiss to her lips. Then he started towards the tent, desperately in search of some form of alcoholic beverage. As if the tent were responding to his desires he found a tall measure of scotch on the rocks on a coffee table in front of a couch, and he downed half of it in one gulp. "This tent is the closest thing to not camping that we can get. And you did get my car out of the mud."

"There are other benefits as well," she murmured with a coy smile as she entered the tent and put a spell on the flap to keep it securely shut.

"Yeah. Like what?" he asked.

"This," she said as he turned towards her, and watched as she tapped the tip of her wand to her shirt, making it disappear, revealing a leopard patterned lace bra.

"Wow," he breathed, putting down the drink and smiling excitedly. "You know, I may not have caught that. I think that was all just a sleight of hand. Maybe if you do it again, I'll believe it."

"Like this?" she asked with a sultry smile, touching the wand to her shorts so they disappeared as well, revealing a matching set of knickers.

"That is a hell of a benefit," he said, taking her in his arms. "Though I did like those shorts."

"I can bring them back if you'd like."

"I didn't like them that much."

"Behave, Agent DiNozzo, or I'll turn you into a newt."

"I have no intentions of behaving with you there standing in that."

She snaked her arms around his neck and pulled him close to her. "And what are your intentions, Tony?" she asked before kissing him slowly.

"Hopefully something that avoids me getting turned into a newt," he smiled as he started backing her into the bedroom of the tent. "Probably also involving that bedroom... I can honestly say that this is turning out to be the best camping trip I've ever been on, though I may need a few more of these to truly judge..."

"Tony?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't make me Gibbs-slap you."

"You know about that?" he said with an involuntary cringe.

"Magic."

"Right. So no jokes about wands or riding broomsticks, then?" he said as the back of her legs hit the side of the bed.

"Only if you think you've got one I haven't heard before," she said, pulling him down onto the bed with her and kissing him passionately. She tugged at the buttons of his shirt, taking it off the traditional way, then tugged his undershirt off. He kissed down her neck, coming to her breasts still clad in the bra, and with the skill that came with lots of experience, rid her of the garment one-handed so he could kiss and massage her breasts. She raked her fingers across his back as she purred her approval. She cried his name as he gently bit her peak, thrusting her chest involuntarily forward into him, and he chuckled at her response.

"Tony, you better not be planning on making me wait much longer," she panted, grinding her hips against his to emphasize her point.

"Is that the whole newt threat?"

"No, that would hardly get me what I want. But I will bind you to this bed and have my way with you."

"That has possibility. It would make you a bad witch, wouldn't it?"

"Dammit, Tony..."

"I'm kind of liking the impatient thing," he smirked, pushing his pants off before pulling her knickers off. He positioned himself at her opening, and she thrust her hips up, forcing him into her with a satisfied groan. He grabbed her wrists, holding them above her head with one of his hands, and began to thrust hard into her as he attacked her neck and chest with kisses. She half-heartedly strained against his hold as she moved her hips in rhythm with his, wrapping her legs around his back so he could move further into her. He thrust quickly and roughly into her, eliciting a groan each time he was buried fully in her, and her fingers squeezed what she could reach of his hands as she desperately tried to find release for the tension she was starting to feel below her navel.

A thin sheen of sweat broke across his brow, and with a sudden show of strength, and maybe a bit of magic, she turned them, so she was now on top of him. She slid her hands up his arms, finally grabbing his hands and using them to push herself up into a sitting position. She kept hold of them as she slid up and down his cock, her head rolling back, her hair flying wildly as she moved on him. She dropped his hands as she started moving her hips in a figure eight, running her hands over her own breasts and rolling her peaks between her fingers, and he growled his approval at the sight, placing his hands on her hips to guide her against him.

Unable to take the space between them he suddenly reached up, hooked his hands around her back and pulled her down to him. He kept the motions going between them as he wound his hand into her bushy hair, holding her to him as he kissed her deeply, and she responded enthusiastically until her muscles began to clamp and tighten, and her breath became ragged. He thrust even harder, forcing himself not to finish until, with a loud cry, the tension broke and pleasure washed over her. A few more thrusts and he let himself spill into her, holding her on him as his cock pulsed a few more times, and they both started coming down from their high. He looked up into her eyes, and found her smiling down at him. Carefully she moved off him, cuddling up next to him, but still maintaining eye contact.

"You're really okay with me being a witch?" she asked after a minute or so.

"It'll take some getting used to, but who could give up a woman who promises to bind you to the bed and have her way with you?"

She laughed.

"What made you want to tell me now?" he asked, curious as to why she was telling him before they had truly opened up about their feelings for each other.

"'Reveal to them everything there is to know about you and let the chips fall where they may,'"

"Meet Joe Black," he smiled. "You really have done your homework."

"I am an extremely fast learner."

"I'll hold you to it," he said with a yawn.

She turned over just enough to grab her wand off the night stand, and wave it, extinguishing most of the light in the tent save for the soft glow of a lantern in the main room. The glow from the fire outside went out as well. She kissed him one more time, then settled against his chest. Not too long after her breathing slowed, and he could tell she was asleep.

"I don't care if you're a witch because I love you, Hermione Granger," he breathed into her hair, barely loud enough for himself to hear it, before he followed her into sleep.