Unexpected Consequences
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters featured in this fanfic. All characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Fox etc.
Setting: Written sometime shortly after the end of season 3 so slightly out of date.
Unexpected Consequences
Part 1:
Okay, lets get one thing straight. IÕm gonna tell that lying son of a bitch what I think of him. IÕm gonna walk in tell him what I think of him and walk straight back out. IÕm not here because I need to see him, because I love him or because I just need to see his smile. IÕm here to tell the only person I ever really trusted I donÕt need him anymore.
This minute IÕm walking down towards his office. It looks different now, maybe a different colour blind in the window or something. I wish I could turn back and run back home, to Sunnydale, but IÕm too stubborn for that. I keep walking is just within my reach. I stop, compose myself and walk into the building. I look around but nobody appears to be here. I feel uncomfortable, like IÕm not supposed to be here anymore. I turn and walk quickly toward the door. IÕm almost there when my elbow catches a potted plant that was sitting on the black filing cabinet that dominates the left-hand side of the room. It smashes to the ground with a loud thud. ÒBuffy?Ó He calls out, ÒIs that you?Ó I have no idea what to say and I think about just running out of the door, but I canÕt and I just manage to stutter, ÒI-ItÕs meÓ. ThereÕs little emotion in my voice and I wonder if he notices it. He walks out form behind the corner thatÕs hiding him and as soon as I see his face my anger disperses itself and I smile. Then I remember the night he left me and why IÕm here. ÒHow did you know it was me?Ó I ask him coldly. ÒGiles calledÓ I donÕt listen. I say what I came to say because if donÕt say it now then I donÕt think I will. ÒYou left me because my mother told you toÓ He doesnÕt deny it. ÒYouÕre a bigger wanker than I thought.Ó ThereÕs definitely anger in my voice.
ÒBuffyÉÓhe cuts me off.
ÒYou listened to my mother but you wouldnÕt listen to meÓ
ÒYou were in love you couldnÕt see sense.Ó
ÒWho are you tell me whether I was in love or not?Ó
ÒGiles had told me you had a stake with my name on it but I thought he was exaggerating.Ó HeÕs not taking this seriously. IÕm madder than I can remember being in a long time, I feel like IÕm going to cry. I continue ÒI loved you, you left me, you didnÕt even say good-byeÓ
Ò So you admit to loving me?Ó
ÒWho cares?Ó
ÒThatÕs a yesÓ
I feel like I have to hurt him, either that or IÕm going to cry. ItÕs hard though seeing the pain on his face and in his eyes. Maybe itÕs so hard because I still love him, never stopped loving him. I know he only didnÕt say good-bye because he thought it would make us both cry but I needed that, I needed to see him one last time. I tell myself IÕm angry but IÕm just hurt. And it hurts like hell. He hits back, something I wasnÕt ready for. ÒIt hurts me too you know, seeing you now, leaving you then, it all hurts.Ó ÒGoodÓ I reply spitefully wishing I could take it back as I say it. But I continue spitting out my emotions; maybe I donÕt know how to stop. ÒAt least you chose to leave, I had no choice. Remember that? YOU LEFT MEÓ I practically yell the last part of that at him. I finally know the meaning of seeing red. My blood boils. I feel like slapping him around the face. But I donÕt I can show him how much he hurt me in other ways. ÒIt was for the bestÓ he says, ÒYour mother was right you know thatÓ
ÒShit Angel, you and your bloody morals, is that all you ever think about. DonÕt you ever follow your heart?Ó
All the time IÕm moving closer, I know what IÕm going to do. HeÕs blocking out my voice. ThereÕs only one way to get through to him how much he hurt me. He doesnÕt reply, just looks me in the eye. For a second I think he knows what IÕm going to do. IÕm now directly in front of him and I push my doubts to the back of my mind. I put my arms around the back of his neck, lean forward and push my lips onto his. He doesnÕt resist. I find myself melting into his kiss. Then I remember what IÕm doing. I pull away and he looks like I smacked him across the face. Before I can say a word he says, ÒIÕll show you what following your heart isÓ And then he grabs me, again I feel myself melting into his embrace.
Part 2
I look at him and feel like dying. Was I dreaming or did that just happen? He looks at me with his dark consuming eyes and says simply, ÒCoffee?Ó
I accept and follow him down into the basement where I find the usual dull, dank and dark dŽcor. On the side is his coffee machine, the coffee is already made and all he does is pour it. ÒBlack, one sugarÓ I say. ÒI rememberÓ he states as he puts my cup in front of me. Everything is quiet and although I have so many things to say I canÕt even whisper. All of a sudden he says, ÒYou wanted to hurt me?Ó I donÕt reply just look at my steaming hot coffee. ÒItÕs okay, I suppose I deserve itÓ
ÒYou donÕt,Ó I finally say, ÒAnd yeah, I wanted to hurt you so bad you begged me to stop, but I couldnÕtÓ
ÒHow did you find out?Ó He changes the subject,
ÒAbout what?Ó IÕm genuinely confused.
ÒYour momÓ
ÒI asked herÓ
ÒOhÓ
ThereÕs that silence again. I wish a blackhole would open up and swallow me. ÒIÕm sorryÓ I say ÒI had no right to come here and to do this to you, I just wanted you to know what it felt like.Ó He says nothing although I donÕt know what I wanted him to say. ÒIÕve got to goÓ I say as I stand up ÒThanks for the coffeeÓ I turn and begin to walk away. He calls to me ÒAre you staying at your fatherÕs?Ó I turn and say ÒYeahÓ I also give him the address and phone number.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters featured in this fanfic. All characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Fox etc.
Setting: Written sometime shortly after the end of season 3 so slightly out of date.
Unexpected Consequences
Part 1:
Okay, lets get one thing straight. IÕm gonna tell that lying son of a bitch what I think of him. IÕm gonna walk in tell him what I think of him and walk straight back out. IÕm not here because I need to see him, because I love him or because I just need to see his smile. IÕm here to tell the only person I ever really trusted I donÕt need him anymore.
This minute IÕm walking down towards his office. It looks different now, maybe a different colour blind in the window or something. I wish I could turn back and run back home, to Sunnydale, but IÕm too stubborn for that. I keep walking is just within my reach. I stop, compose myself and walk into the building. I look around but nobody appears to be here. I feel uncomfortable, like IÕm not supposed to be here anymore. I turn and walk quickly toward the door. IÕm almost there when my elbow catches a potted plant that was sitting on the black filing cabinet that dominates the left-hand side of the room. It smashes to the ground with a loud thud. ÒBuffy?Ó He calls out, ÒIs that you?Ó I have no idea what to say and I think about just running out of the door, but I canÕt and I just manage to stutter, ÒI-ItÕs meÓ. ThereÕs little emotion in my voice and I wonder if he notices it. He walks out form behind the corner thatÕs hiding him and as soon as I see his face my anger disperses itself and I smile. Then I remember the night he left me and why IÕm here. ÒHow did you know it was me?Ó I ask him coldly. ÒGiles calledÓ I donÕt listen. I say what I came to say because if donÕt say it now then I donÕt think I will. ÒYou left me because my mother told you toÓ He doesnÕt deny it. ÒYouÕre a bigger wanker than I thought.Ó ThereÕs definitely anger in my voice.
ÒBuffyÉÓhe cuts me off.
ÒYou listened to my mother but you wouldnÕt listen to meÓ
ÒYou were in love you couldnÕt see sense.Ó
ÒWho are you tell me whether I was in love or not?Ó
ÒGiles had told me you had a stake with my name on it but I thought he was exaggerating.Ó HeÕs not taking this seriously. IÕm madder than I can remember being in a long time, I feel like IÕm going to cry. I continue ÒI loved you, you left me, you didnÕt even say good-byeÓ
Ò So you admit to loving me?Ó
ÒWho cares?Ó
ÒThatÕs a yesÓ
I feel like I have to hurt him, either that or IÕm going to cry. ItÕs hard though seeing the pain on his face and in his eyes. Maybe itÕs so hard because I still love him, never stopped loving him. I know he only didnÕt say good-bye because he thought it would make us both cry but I needed that, I needed to see him one last time. I tell myself IÕm angry but IÕm just hurt. And it hurts like hell. He hits back, something I wasnÕt ready for. ÒIt hurts me too you know, seeing you now, leaving you then, it all hurts.Ó ÒGoodÓ I reply spitefully wishing I could take it back as I say it. But I continue spitting out my emotions; maybe I donÕt know how to stop. ÒAt least you chose to leave, I had no choice. Remember that? YOU LEFT MEÓ I practically yell the last part of that at him. I finally know the meaning of seeing red. My blood boils. I feel like slapping him around the face. But I donÕt I can show him how much he hurt me in other ways. ÒIt was for the bestÓ he says, ÒYour mother was right you know thatÓ
ÒShit Angel, you and your bloody morals, is that all you ever think about. DonÕt you ever follow your heart?Ó
All the time IÕm moving closer, I know what IÕm going to do. HeÕs blocking out my voice. ThereÕs only one way to get through to him how much he hurt me. He doesnÕt reply, just looks me in the eye. For a second I think he knows what IÕm going to do. IÕm now directly in front of him and I push my doubts to the back of my mind. I put my arms around the back of his neck, lean forward and push my lips onto his. He doesnÕt resist. I find myself melting into his kiss. Then I remember what IÕm doing. I pull away and he looks like I smacked him across the face. Before I can say a word he says, ÒIÕll show you what following your heart isÓ And then he grabs me, again I feel myself melting into his embrace.
Part 2
I look at him and feel like dying. Was I dreaming or did that just happen? He looks at me with his dark consuming eyes and says simply, ÒCoffee?Ó
I accept and follow him down into the basement where I find the usual dull, dank and dark dŽcor. On the side is his coffee machine, the coffee is already made and all he does is pour it. ÒBlack, one sugarÓ I say. ÒI rememberÓ he states as he puts my cup in front of me. Everything is quiet and although I have so many things to say I canÕt even whisper. All of a sudden he says, ÒYou wanted to hurt me?Ó I donÕt reply just look at my steaming hot coffee. ÒItÕs okay, I suppose I deserve itÓ
ÒYou donÕt,Ó I finally say, ÒAnd yeah, I wanted to hurt you so bad you begged me to stop, but I couldnÕtÓ
ÒHow did you find out?Ó He changes the subject,
ÒAbout what?Ó IÕm genuinely confused.
ÒYour momÓ
ÒI asked herÓ
ÒOhÓ
ThereÕs that silence again. I wish a blackhole would open up and swallow me. ÒIÕm sorryÓ I say ÒI had no right to come here and to do this to you, I just wanted you to know what it felt like.Ó He says nothing although I donÕt know what I wanted him to say. ÒIÕve got to goÓ I say as I stand up ÒThanks for the coffeeÓ I turn and begin to walk away. He calls to me ÒAre you staying at your fatherÕs?Ó I turn and say ÒYeahÓ I also give him the address and phone number.