I've had this nightmare a couple times. I have a few different recurring nightmares that sorta take turns with each other. Mito-nee always tells me I have so many nightmares because I don't eat healthy, but mikan is a fruit! Fruit is plenty healthy! She doesn't know what she's talking about. Anyway, you know the rope climb that you do for gym class? I always liked horizontal bar more, so the rope climb was always a bit of a disappointment when we had to do it. I was never really bad at it, though, or afraid of it or anything, but for whatever reason, that's sorta what the nightmare was about.

It starts off in the middle of a rope climb. If I look down, I don't see a bottom that I climbed up from and I don't know if there's a top either. I don't feel any walls, or any wind, or see any... well, anything. It's just a bunch of black. I can hardly see my own aching arms. I just see my hands clasped tightly around a rope that is this deep, burning red color, so tight that I can see the little veins popping out on my knuckles.

I never really assumed much of anything in the dream - where I was, how I got there, you know? There just seemed to be some things I knew. I knew that this rope was supposed to be, like, my red string of fate. I saw in my head this image of an angel at the very top, holding the rope in place for me with their big white wings. Once I reached them, I figured they'd grab me in their arms and we'd soar away together or something.

The dream started at around when I formed Aqours, so I kinda hooked on to that picture of me in the angel's arms as some sort of symbol of hope. Although, for the first few nights, I always woke up before I even saw the top. I ended the same place I began. I never really thought much of it at the time.

Eventually, though, it turned into this whole scary thing, where... Well, okay, so one night, I finally managed to reach the end of the rope. There was no angel. There was nothing. It was like I was just floating in space. Rather, it felt like I was falling... like either the angel dropped the rope just before I got there, or else there was never any angel to begin with, and both the rope and I were actually in free fall the whole time. I didn't know how far I was going to fall until I hit the ground, just that it was coming, and this entire time I was climbing, I was actually getting closer and closer to the very, very bottom.

I guess the whole thing sounds kind of silly when I think about it while I'm awake. I mean, the rope wouldn't have stayed upright like that if it was falling with me, right? Plus, I woulda felt all the wind, and my hair would be blowing in my face or something like that.

It's not even like the falling itself was that scary. I mean, of course, hitting the ground would be scary, but during the dream itself, I sorta felt calm. It was like I was convinced there was no ground to hit. Mostly, I would just close my eyes (even if there was nothing to see anyway) and go completely blank. Waking up was actually the scary part, 'cause when I opened my eyes and suddenly felt the soft bed, I would think for a second that it was like an impact and I was all scattered about in a big goopy mess like a cracked egg. One time I rolled off my bed, and not only did I almost give myself a heart attack, but I landed right on Shiitake and almost gave him one as well!

I don't usually pay my nightmares too much attention, I think. Usually, when I'm at school and singing and all that, I tend to forget about them. If I got hung up on that sort of thing, then I wouldn't be a very good leader, right? You have to stay positive! And what kind of positive is it if you can't even be unconscious without worrying about something, y'know? It's not like I don't get afraid or sad or anything, it's just that I don't have too many times where I go, "Oh, this is just like that nightmare! It's like prophecy! I have future sight! I must use this power for good!" I just kinda mull it over until the feeling passes.

I finally told Riko-chan about it the other day. We were sitting down and not really talking about anything at the cafe. For the most part, I was mostly just watching her finish eating. She manages to even be pretty when she's eating. I had my head laid down on the table and I don't quite know what made me think about it, but I felt like this was the time to ask her. "Riko-chan?" She lifted her eyes to me. "Do you believe in fate? You know, like, the red string and all that?"

"Eh?" she said, blushing, "That's a bit... too forward to just ask someone right out of the blue." Ha. So she did believe in it. It makes sense for her. I think she likes to think that she's too ladylike for that sort of cheesy romantic stuff, but she always acts like she wants it to be true - like she's just waiting for a knight on a shiny white horse to sweep her off her feet or take her chin in her hand and sweep her hair aside for a kiss. It's really cute. I wasn't quite in the mood to get lost in amusement over it right then, though.

"I've sort of been having a nightmare about it," I said, "I guess... I'm just scared that it might not be... No, that's not it either. Just hear me out for a second." She sat and listened patiently as I told her about the dream - about the red rope, and the falling, and the black vaccuum.

She had a concerned look on her face, but for the most part she asked questions. She mostly seemed to just sort of be looking for something that stuck. I'm not sure if she had any sort of idea what she was supposed to say to me. "... Are you sure you've been eating healthy? Your diet probably has something to do with this."

"Ehhh? Et tu, Riko-chan!? Mikan is healthy!"

She sighed, dismissing the question entirely. She probably just felt like it would get her nowhere (which it wouldn't, because my diet is fine!). She held her chin in her hand for a moment, sitting pensively as we let the quiet hang over us for another minute. "Is the... If you were climbing the rope, then it wasn't tied to your finger, was it?"

I sat up, trying to recall. "I guess it wasn't, no."

"Aha! Then you have to tie it to your finger! If it's the red string of fate, then that means that your destined is on the other end, and they can catch you!"

I looked at her for a moment. She was so satisfied with her answer. It was rare to see her look so proud, so it was a bit hard not to get sucked in right there, but I was still a little doubtful. "Isn't that kinda like cheating? Aren't you born with it tied around your finger?"

"Well..." She trailed off, looking to the side. She didn't turn back to look me in the eye when she finished answering, like she was embarrassed. "... Isn't Aqours about making your own miracle?"

I smiled. I leaned in over the table while she had her eyes torn from mine and poked her playfully in the nose, making her look back at me. She had a stern look on her face, like she was gonna scold me for just doing something like that out of the blue, but before she could say anything, I grabbed a little bit of her hair that fell over her shoulder. I let the silken strands fall through my fingers until only one was left, pinched between my thumb and pointer. "Here." I held out my other hand and looped the hair around around my pinky. "Now, even if it isn't the red string of fate at all, then I know you'll still be there to catch me anyway! It's like a reverse Cinderella!"

She laughed, covering her mouth. "I think you mean Rapunzel, Chika-chan."

I laughed with her and fell back into my own seat, letting the moment pass as she finished eating the last bit of her food. When it was all said and done, she looked at me. "And if it is the red string of fate? Who do you think will be there to catch you then?" She had an expectant look in her eyes.

"It's a secret."

We both let it end with that. It was like a promise that I'd tell her in the future, when I had the dream again. I never did, though. At least, not yet. I haven't told her yet about the other nightmare - with the paper airplane and the shattered glass. I'll probably get around to it eventually. There's always a first for everything.