It wasn't the first time this had happened. Wasn't the first time that Cas had looked into Dean's eyes and got lost for who knows how long. It was how things had been from the very beginning and how they had continued to be throughout their time by one another's side.
Cas had always felt that they shared a more profound bond, but recently it had been turning into more. Every look a little longer, every silence a little more comfortable, every accidental touch increasing in frequency until there was no way all of them could have been accidents.
But that was before he lost his grace and became human. That was back when it was a reality and not just a dream that he had every time he closed his eyes. Before he was lost with no inkling of how to find his way back. And before Dean's memory had been wiped clean of him.
Before there had never been any questions. Dean had been his answer. Dean was absolute. But now that was gone.
Cas felt as though nothing now tethered him to this earth, except for gravity's newfound attachment to him. Dean had been his gravity and his one connection to humanity. Now he felt all the horrible things that that entailed and couldn't float away or escape no matter how hard he tried.
Now everything was a question and there were no answers or absolutes. There was only a void.
Dean was off living like he always had before Cas. The only absolutes that he had or needed were the hunt, the Impala, and Sam. Cas wasn't even a memory to him. Not even a passing thought in his mind. If they passed on the street Dean probably wouldn't even look twice or take notice. And if that happened it would shatter Cas' already cracked and battered heart.
Now Castiel was forced to wander on as he tried to forget the man who had no idea he existed. He was left to wonder about the what-ifs and what now never can be. There is an ache in his heart that only one person could fill. And that person has no idea of the hold he has on another's heart and soul.
This will be a multi-chaptered story. Other chapters will be longer than this. This is just a prologue so I figured I could make it shorter. I hope you all like it and I will post more soon. Rated M for later chapters.