No such thing as Free Will
"You can do what you decide to do — but you cannot decide what you will decide to do."
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Sam had been a fool to think that he had regained Dean's trust after his brother found out about the all the lies, the demon blood addiction and his memories in heaven. He left Dean locked in the panic room as his heart broke in a million pieces. The words that he heard from his brother's mouth were true, and now he had to admit how screwed he was. Time was running out and suddenly their free will seemed to disappear in the thin air as the seconds flew by.
They had been away from each other for five months, and when Dean called him again to meet and come back by his side he really hoped for a clean start. Maybe for some time he felt some sort of 'peace', however, deep inside he knew that it wouldn't last long. Peace had not been on the Winchesters side since he turned six months old.
'I just…I—I don't believe in you. I mean, I don't. I don't know whether it's gonna be demon blood or some other demon chick or what, but…I do know they're gonna find a way to turn you.'
'You're angry, you're self-righteous. Lucifer's gonna wear you to the prom, man. It's just a matter of time. And when Satan takes you over, there's got to be somebody there to fight him, and it ain't gonna be that kid. So, it's got to be me.'
He had let down his big brother, and there was nothing he could do about it. Dean said it right after they walked away from the hospital that night. Nothing would be normal again between them. He had turned himself into a monster, a vampire that sucked blood to feel strong. Truth was that he was weak and pathetic.
"Sam? You ok, son?" asked Bobby, still staring at the bullet laying on the wooden desk in the living room.
"Yeah. I'm tired, that' all" answered Sam quietly while rubbing his temple.
He had a very painful headache, which didn't help him at all after everything he had been through in the past couple of hours. He had let down everyone he loved. Maybe Dean was right. Maybe Lucifer was going to wear him to the prom. Maybe they couldn't fight against destiny. After all, everything had been planned. Mary was meant to die, and Dean was meant to go to hell, so he could break the first seal. Why couldn't they have a normal life like everyone else? Why did they have to sacrifice everything they had? How many loved ones would burn? How many people would be condemned because of them?
"I can see that" said Bobby with low voice, not believing that for a second.
Sam didn't say anything but sat on the couch instead. He desired to get drunk and pass out to ignore his painful reality. He just needed to be alone and think about what to do with Dean and Adam, who was sitting in the corner of the kitchen staring at the empty bottle of beer in front of him.
The younger Winchester took his jacket and opened the door. He heard Bobby's voice asking something, but he just ignored him and walked away from the house. He needed some air. He needed to find a way to keep fighting, even if he was all alone in a world full of enemies. Even God left, so there was no hope. Not really. Joshua said it, Dean said it. Sam knew that Bobby thought so too, but the old man would not kill Sam's last bits of hope to find another plan to ice the Devil without saying the big YES. Maybe it was for the best. Lying could be painful, but so was the truth. It could kill the soul of a man and he was the living proof of that.
He sat on the hood of the Impala for an hour, but was alarmed when he heard light footsteps walking towards him. He turned around to see Adam a couple of feet away from Dean's beloved car.
"Hey Adam" said Sam, not bothering to hide his broken voice
"I saw you pretty upset. Something wrong with you?" asked Adam, maybe caring a little about his step brother. He wouldn't admit though.
"No... It's just that Dean is... lost and desperate. He was going to say yes to Michael without a doubt. I thought- never mind"
Adam kept his mouth shut, not knowing what to say. He didin't know the guy. What could he say to make him feel better? Nothing.
"Wanna go for a ride? Maybe we can eat some burgers" offered Adam
"It's too risky. Angels can find us. They are looking for us everywhere" explained Sam tiredly
Sam looked down, and within minutes he was alone again. Everybody left him and that was the right thing to do. He was evil. He had caused the end of Earth.
It started to rain, but the younger hunter didn't move a muscle. He deserved to to be sick and miserable. He should live to suffer every single day. Sam closed his eyes for a second, feeling the weigth of his soaked clothes on him and his wet hair platered on his forehead. He did not remember passing out, but he was awoken by Bobby when it was darker and the rain had ceased.
"Boy, are you crazy? What's going on with you, idjit?!"
"I fell asleep. Don't worry, I'm fine" said Sam while standing up. His whole body hurt and was shaking. Just great...
"Look Sam, Castiel told me the things that the idjit of your brother told you. It ain't true, alright? He is not himself right now" said Bobby a little pissed with Dean.
"He is right. I am not strong enough Bobby. I am gonna give in like I always do, hurting people along the way. Jess died because of me, also Ellen and Jo. God is not here to help us. We can't win this war" said Sam trying not to cry. God, he was really frustrated!
"You are not giving up boy, not on me. If we die, we die fighting, you hear me?"
Sam and Bobby stared at each other for a moment before they heard someone screaming. It was Adam. Something was really wrong.
Sam ran while screaming his name, but when he entered inside the house he was gone. The doors and windows were locked, si he could not have escaped, even if wanted to.
When Bobby made it to the house, Sam told him what had happened. Sam and Bobby were pretty sure that the angels took him, but they didn't know how.
Sam changed his clothes as fast as he could and elaborated a plan. If he could rescue Adam from them, then he would not say yes.
"Alright son, let's go" said Bobby, already headin towards the door
"Wait, what about Dean?" asked Sam
"He can't come with us, Sam. You know that" answered Bobby while seeing Sam's puppy dog eyes
"He won't say yes, Bobby. I know my brother. Please, let me talk to him" pleaded Sam.
"Alright, if that is what you want..." said Bobby not sure about Sam's decision.
The old hunter saw Sam heading to the panic room while Castiel appeared in the room. They had to rescue Adam, and Dean could be useful in this fight if he thought about it. If Sam said that Dean would not say yes, maybe he would have to believe him and play along. He just hoped that it was for the best...
THE END.-
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you for reading this fic! Hope you enjoyed it! Please leave a review to let me know that :)