ᴀᴜɢᴜsᴛɪɴᴇ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ⁞×

[we call it self-expression]

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date of breakdown: may 25, 2011

i don't own APH.

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привет lovely blank word document so blank blank blank

my name is ivan braginskiyiyiyiyiIIIiiIi

i am russia this is russia i am in russia i am in myself? i am the russian confederation i am i am i am

today i confess i felt guilty very very guilty and it hurt. right here, my chest, see? left side left side

i wanted so very badly to rip out my heart because that is where that pesky feeling came from, i am sure i was sure. i pictured it, imagined it, but it still hurt and i couldn't keep my smile on. but i did anyway.

now i think it must be gone, i must have ripped it out or else it must have fallen out. because i feel nothing in my chest, only a slight hunger in my stomach. that can be fixed by eating, can it not? so i guess that is okay. there is no more feeling and my smile is back but it feels different. my eyes do not crinkle anymore when i smile but they are very wide. wide eyes are beautiful, yesyesyesyes? дааааа

don't ask me, please, what it is i did. i cannot remember but i feel like i should have not have forgotten to do something anything else. i am venting because it is good it was good, i see that it is good. amerika says i should not spell his name like that but amerika says venting is good so i am doing this self expression introspection rip my insides out-tion. i am poet i am writer i am i am

why do i feel nothing why do i not do something did you know amerika isn't really fat at all but he says he is? and syestra numberrrr one never talks to me but that is okay because i have syestra number two whom i run away from so who do i have amerika. i have amerika. right right right

he would not cringe at the butchering of his language because it is not his language and oops silly ivannn i did just make him cringe. i do better than him in english at times i think but i do not think right now.

i know they call me crazy, i hear them. i am, but even though the voices call me crazy i know it is all just in my head. voices that sound like the other countries, they call me terrifying and insane and it doesn't hurt. because the real countries give me sunflowers and call me kind and gentle, nice older younger brother and they stick by russia though i mean thRRRough thick and thin. they are kind, they give me sunflowers that never wilt. must be england's doing, i never understand his magic but i come when he calls.

let me confess, pretty pixels, i know what i am doing to your surfaces and vital regions. i don't care i don't care because this is good for me he says they say I SAY SO i will keep putting meaningless meanings onto your blank surfaces (look i said that already england says i am being redundant but england isn't here) until

i start

to

make

sense

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i dearly apologize for the careless on-purpose selection of random words that actually describe how i feel rather well at the moment

i also regret this being the first thing i actually post but wait i don't cause i don't feel yet.

i am sure i will wake up tomorrow and regret this. but who cares cause i don't.

left side left side—that was an unintentional reference to government that i noticed just now.

Translations:

Russian:
привет [privet]—hello
да [da]—yes
syestra—sister