Title: Never Say Goodbye

Author: Mitch

Series: Part 1

Rating: PG-13

Category: Romance

Feedback: Makes me happy.

Author's Note: I'm leaving the time setting vague on purpose, because I can't even begin to wade through the mess that is Tempest. ;) I'll just say it's some time after the beginning of Clark's junior year in high school and the Season One finale never happened.

Author's Note #2: This story was totally inspired by the song Etienne by Tori Amos. Obviously, there will be more to the story than there is to the song, but the song perfectly captures the general feel of things. Go download it if you want to know what I mean. :)

**********

In an endless, grassy field, beneath a grey sky, a chilling wind rises off of the water, sending excited shivers through the two young men.

Clark tightens his grip on his lover's hand and smiles mischievously. The other young man smiles back and they run headlong into the gale, challenging it, knowing that together there is no obstacle they cannot overcome.

But eventually, their momentum does wind down. They fall to the ground, rolling around in a tight embrace, covering each other with warm kisses, whispering soft ecstasies.

"Show me magick," Lex says eagerly.

But it's not Lex, Clark thinks. Not quite.

"I can't," Clark replies, "the crystal is slowly dying. Besides, even at full strength, it couldn't bring your horse back to life."

"My horse be damned. My days in service to the king are finished. When we made love in the clearing, you took that horrible suit of armor off me for the last time." Clark smiles and nips at his lover's lower lip. "But what about the wind? You caused that, didn't you?"

"Not with the crystal," Clark answers sweetly. "Something that big can only come from the strength of love. My love for you, fair knight."

**********

Clark awoke, feeling warm and happy. Blinking a few times, he realized he was back in his own room. The chilly wind was gone, the leaden sky replaced with his ceiling, and a hollow space in the circle of his arms, where once there was Lex.

Lex.

Clark took a deep breath and repeated the name with a flutter of his eyes and a surety that if he wasn't careful, he would die of longing.

Okay, so he had never actually held Lex. Not since the day on the bridge anyway. But he had taken every opportunity he could to touch his beautifully bald friend, which were popping up more and more, what with new meteor freaks showing up just about every week and Lex's unsettlingly persistent way of needing rescuing.

Not that Clark minded playing hero for such a perfect man, although he certainly didn't want Lex to get hurt. Lex had received several physical thrashings in the short span of their friendship and it was as if Clark could feel the pain of every bruise. But the need to touch Lex, to take care of him, was satisfied in those times. A squeeze of the hand, a penetrating back rub (for completely therapeutic purposes, of course), and even a firm grip of the ass the few times that Lex had been dangling from buildings, cliffs, and the like.

Sorry, Lex, he though dryly. There's just nowhere else I can grab you. I need the leverage, and with the angle of our bodies divided by our combined mass, keeping in mind that our center of gravity is usually somewhere around the chest, and not forgetting the clearly existent magnetism between my hand and your ass, it's positively the only way.

Clark blushed at his thoughts and forced himself out of the bed. Thoughts like these never led to anything good. Thoughts like these led to sexual frustration, sticky sheets, and his third tardy this week.

Stepping into the shower, he turned the water as cold as it would go in hopes of clearing his head. He closed his eyes and had visions of glaciers and icicles and Lex as a knight. Clark's eyes shot open at that last item.

Damn, he thought. It's going to be a long day.

**********

A slow-motion whirl of paper, pencils, lectures, and infinite impatience, and somehow, school was finally over. Chloe could see, and wasn't incredibly surprised by, the fact that Clark was distracted. She suggested they blow off the Torch for one afternoon and go get a cup of coffee.

"At the Talon?" Clark's mouth practically dripped with the eagerness of a puppy.

Lana. Figures. "Yes, Clark, at the Talon. What kind of people would we be, after all, if we didn't at least make an attempt to support our dear friend's financial venture?"

The question was rhetorical, but it wouldn't have much mattered anyway, as Clark was already halfway across the parking lot to Chloe's car.

On the drive, Clark only half-listened to Chloe's ideas for her latest scathing editorial on the horrible acoustics of the school's auditorium. His uncharacteristically good posture and constant glances out the window as if expecting another meteor shower at any second were obvious indications of his nervousness.

"Clark, did something happen?"

"Huh?"

"You've been pining after Lana forever, and while she is great and exciting and all that, you have never been exactly giddy about her. Now, you're suddenly bouncing around like you've got hermit crabs in your underwear. What gives?"

"Nothing gives," he replied indignantly. "Is it so awful that I'm glad to have a day off? I haven't been to the Talon in ages. It'll be good to finally relax." And hopefully bump into Lex. Well, maybe not bump into exactly. Gently collide with, perhaps. Or even playfully sidle up to. What do you say, Lex? A little coffee and sidling? Or should we just skip right to the bumping?

And now I'm in trouble. Clark shifted slightly, trying to ease the growing tension in his pants as inconspicuously as he could.

"Whatever," Chloe said, dropping the subject. "I have more important things to worry about. Lex is letting me interview him on the latest upgrades in Plant No. 3's processing technology."

"What? Lex?" Clark's attention locked onto Chloe's words for the first time that day.

"Yeah. He said he'd be at the Talon this afternoon if I wanted to drop by."

"Well, drop by! You don't want to miss your opportunity! And we haven't been to the Talon in ages!"

Chloe blinked. "Clark, that's where we're going, remember?"

"...oh, yeah." Embarrassed grin.

"Correction. That's where we are."

The engine cut off and Clark saw that they were parked outside the Talon. A fiery leap of his stomach as he recognized the shape of Lex's car parked in front of the building.

It's no ornamented stallion, but Lex can make any form of transportation sexy.

He smiled involuntarily at the thought of his dream. Again, Chloe broke into his daze.

"Are you coming?"

"Uh, yeah."

They entered the former theater and saw a sign next to the counter that said "Please Seat Yourself."

Chloe smiled. "Ah, my favorite table is free."

She took Clark by the elbow and led him to a table in the corner across the room from the bar. As he sat down, he scanned the room for any stylish, bald millionaire's sons that might happen to pop in, but noticed that his view was mostly blocked by a row of decorative foliage.

"Chloe, I can hardly see the restaurant from here."

"Why do you think I like this table? It keeps distractions to a minimum."

"But how will Lex know we're here?" he whined as he bounced in his seat like a child having a tantrum.

"That's it, Clark. Decaf for you. Honestly, I'm going to have to invest in some sleeping powder for those hermit crabs of yours. They're obviously running up a storm. And why are you so excited to see Lex, anyway? You see him all the time."

It was true. Clark made a point of visiting Lex at least four times a week. More when possible. And although the older boy made Clark's knees wobbly without fail, Clark was never this out of control. It was because of the dream.

Clark knew from personal experience that dreams could change one's perspective on the world around them. For instance, no matter how much he cared about, looked up to, and wanted Lex, having a dream about him always made their connection seem deeper. It made the anticipation of seeing Lex again that much sweeter. Especially with a dream as intimate and jolting in its lucidity as the previous night's.

He just couldn't get over how real it felt. His other dreams about Lex, while wonderful, had been fraught with the inevitable pitfalls and surreal symbolism of the subconscious. This latest dream didn't seem like a dream at all. It was almost as if for the few minutes, or seconds, that the dream lasted, Clark was actually there, in that different place and time with his love at his side.

This time it was Lana who interrupted his pensive silence.

"What can I get you two today?"

As Chloe prepared to give her order, Clark blurted out one word. "Lex."

Lana laughed. "Do you want fries with that?"

"I'll have a cappuccino," Chloe said rolling her eyes, "and for Clark, a decaf latte with a shot of Valium."

"An upper and a downer coming right up."

"And can you tell Lex I'm here for the interview?"

"Why don't you tell me yourself?"

A flash of white skin and black suit and Clark's heart dropped into his bladder.

Lex's cool blue eyes passed over him in a self-assured glance. "Something wrong, Clark?"

"I..." Clark was cut short by the ring of Chloe's cell phone.

"Sorry, guys. I'll be right back." Chloe walked away to answer her phone. Lana smiled confusedly at Clark and Lex before leaving as well.

"I'll be right back with your orders."

Lex swooped down to the chair across from Clark, put his coffee mug down on the table, and leaned in. "Having a coffee date with Smallville's brightest up and coming reporter?"

"Yeah," Clark sighed, dreamily staring at Lex. "I mean no!!! Well, yes and no actually. We are having coffee, but it isn't a date. Just a couple of platonic friends getting together for no good reason."

Lex arched an eyebrow. "Tell me Chloe had the sense to order you a decaf. You could do without the added... effervescence." The chide was delivered in a playful tone and Clark smiled goofily. "What's got you so jumpy today?"

"Oh, it's just my crabs." Lex's eyes widened and Clark's face shot to boiling temperature as he realized what he'd said. "I-I don't mean crabs. Not crabs crabs. Hermit crabs." Not helping, Clark. "Because Chloe was teasing me, and you know, they're little and they run around and... and..." Lex looked humorously intrigued. "I don't have crabs, Lex," Clark finished desperately.

The older boy finally broke into a fit of laughter. "It's okay, Clark, it's obviously a private joke. You can explain it to me another time." We have the rest of eternity, his eyes seemed to promise. Clark smiled, relieved.

"So, how was your day?" Lex asked, sipping his coffee.

"I had a dream about you."

The coffee showered from Lex's mouth onto the table as he started choking, and Clark was instantly at his side to see if he was okay. He knelt down and his hand found its way to Lex's lower back, rubbing gently. Before he could apologize, Chloe came back.

"Guys, I'm so sorry. That was my dad. He's having car trouble on the freeway and I need to go pick him up." Lex looked up at Chloe and she noticed his coffee-stained chin. "Do I even want to know what's going on here?"

"No," the boys answered simultaneously.

"Didn't think so. Clark, see you tomorrow?"

"Sure."

"Lex, I'll be in touch. I'm really sorry."

"Don't worry about it." Chloe rushed out the door and Lex's gaze turned to rest on Clark, who picked up a napkin. He cupped Lex's face with his left hand and began gently dabbing his chin. Lex remained silent, seemingly impassive to Clark's actions, but his eyes drew Clark into their intensity and the dabbing slowed to a soft rubbing. Soon the rubbing stopped too as Clark's thumb reached up and shakily traced Lex's lower lip. Lex seemed on the verge of something pleasantly ferocious when Lana returned with two mugs.

"Is everything okay here?"

"Yeah," Clark said quietly as he returned to his seat. "We just had a little spill, but I can clean it up. Chloe had to leave."

"Oh. So should I take her cappuccino back or--"

"I'll take it," Lex said evenly, his eyes never leaving Clark.

"Okay," Lana replied, sensing the tension. "You boys don't have too much fun, now." With that, she was off.

Clark continued to shrivel under Lex's gauging stare as endless moments of silence passed. Finally, Lex spoke. "Tell me about your dream."

Deep breath. "We were in a field... in Scotland, but I'm not sure how I know that."

"Why were we there?"

"I'm not really sure. But it felt like something had led up to it, like tuning in halfway through a movie, you know?"

Lex softened his tone. "Go on."

"What was so strange about it was that everything was different but the same. I mean, you weren't you and I'm pretty sure I wasn't me, and at the same time, we were. Everything was so familiar." Clark smiled as his friend's interest was obviously piqued.

"Who were we?"

"I think I may have been a witch or something. I had... power."

"What kind of power?"

"I don't know exactly. But you asked me to show you magick and it sounded completely reasonable."

Lex took a moment to swallow this. Then he nodded his head, prompting Clark to continue.

"You were a knight." Clark saw the image enter Lex's head as his face lit up, finally cracking the cool exterior.

"A knight? You mean like in a suit of armor?"

"Well, actually, I-- uh... yeah, a suit of armor." Clark blushed at his near slip.

"How did I look?" Lex asked sarcastically.

Beautiful. "Definitely different. You had hair for one thing. Dark brown, almost black. And your face was different..."

"Clark, it's beginning to sound like this dream wasn't even about me."

"No, it was! That's what I mean with everything being the same and different. We were different people, but our connection was still there, our friendship just as strong." With a few not-so-unpleasant benefits.

Lex gave Clark one of his infuriatingly ambiguous looks. "Coming from anyone else, this would sound insane. But you have a funny way of making anything seem possible, Kent."

Clark rested his hand on Lex's and gently stroked it with his thumb. "Anything is possible, Lex."

Those icy eyes rested on their hands, then shifted to Clark's face, looking skeptical. Ah, youth, they seemed to say. The beauty of a promise that can never be kept.

Clark squeezed the hand, trying to will away Lex's doubt. He bore into Lex's stare with a look of such commitment, honesty, and adoration that he thought he felt Lex's hand begin to tremble. At length, Lex broke eye contact and quickly pulled his hand away.

"It's been enlightening, Clark, as always."

Clark bowed his head. "And you're leaving."

"If I had any choice, you know I wouldn't." He gave Clark one last look and got up to leave.

Never say goodbye, Clark thought. Something Lex had said at the beginning of their friendship. Much better to part on an unresolved note so as to avoid awkward beginnings upon the next meeting.

Clark always thought the real reason was Lex's fear of abandonment. What Lex didn't realize is that Clark would give up his own soul before abandoning his best friend.

He watched Lex walk to the door and looked back down at the table. What he saw there brought a smile to his face. Before Lex went outside, Clark called out to him.

"Sir Lex!"

Lex turned around, baffled, as did several other customers. Clark noticed not one of them as he ran to Lex's side.

"Clark, what the--"

"Your horse, fair knight." Clark opened his hand, revealing Lex's car keys.

Lex squinted his eyes and chuckled seductively. "Methinks ye pilfered them by magick, young witch."

Clark tapped the tip of his nose, smiled, and turned to go back to the table. He felt Lex watching him for a few more seconds before finally leaving.

Taking advantage of the silence to go over everything that was said in his mind, Clark took a sip of his lukewarm latte. Grimacing, he pushed it away and rested his chin on his arms in front of him, beginning the ritual that commenced after every conversation he had with Lex Luthor. The ritual of analyzing every last inconsistency in Lex's voice, body language, and general demeanor, trying to figure out if they meant what he hoped, or if he was just seeing what he wanted to see.

What he didn't know was that a certain stylish, bald millionaire's son was still standing outside of his car, trembling so violently that he only barely managed to unlock the door. Clark didn't know that said millionaire's son sat in said car for another five minutes, going through his own ritual, the Post Kent as he liked to call it. And after the day's conversation, there was plenty to go over. Wondering, hoping, needing, his hand and face still tingling where he had been touched. A touch so loving and so warm that Lex silently thanked himself for the umpteenth time for coming up with the "never say goodbye" bit.

He was sure Clark figured that it was just his way with everyone. But it was actually a recent creation, a sort of emergency exit for when things with the angelic and painfully naive farmboy became too intense. An easy out for when Mr. Bald and Stylish felt his mask of ambiguous detachment beginning to slip, and the needy Clarkoholic at risk of being exposed. Which, obnoxiously, was becoming more and more frequent.

With a sigh, he started the car and sped away.

Fair knight, indeed, he thought sadly.

TBC