A/N: I threw this together intending to write some Korralin and then I started thinking of Asami and all three of the women and their circumstances until this came out. Essentially, I thought the season finale was too cleanly wrapped up. Lost the powers, got the powers back, everyone's happy! Don't buy it. I figure all three would be devastated and lost. And I love all of them so... Ship all the things! KorraLin, KorraSami, Linsami? Huh. Thanks for reading!
Amon's thumb, cold in the rain, burns like fire as his touch robs her.
Lin Bei Fong crumples forward, weightless, hollow.
Her face is emotionless as the tears spill. Cold stone presses violently against her. It will never bend to her will again. She thinks of her mother. Is she watching? Is she disappointed?
She is no longer a threat. Amon and the Equalists leave her.
Sometimes sacrifices are meaningless.
Tenzin and his family were captured. Korra and the others are still in danger. Part of her is angry but she doesn't know at who. She gives herself reprieve: what has happened can't be changed. There is no choice but to go forward.
She moves through Republic City. The city is burning and being bombed. Chaos is everywhere. It is difficult to navigate without her bending. Is this how non-benders live? She never understood fear and the Equalists until now.
The bastard took Korra's bending. Lin nods solemnly at the news. She puts a hand on Korra's shoulder. "It will be all right."
"Yeah. I'll be back to bending myself into trouble in no time." Korra smiles up at her, at the others brightly. Lin sees the shine of her eyes, the slight tremble of her chin. She's brave.
If Lin had her bending, she knows she would give it up to return even one of Korra's other bending elements. Lin touches Korra's chin, thumb grazing beneath it for only an instant, steadying it.
Korra's bending can't be restored.
Lin has never felt so powerless. Korra exits into the chill South Water village air. It blows into the home but Lin can't feel it. Mako chases after her. Maybe Mako will make it okay.
She ignores the niggling fear that tells her he won't. The family is lost. Tenzin's long face is sober. Asami leans into the wall of the home, arms crossed, eyes distant.
Tenzin and his family have gone, Bolin and Mako reluctantly in tow after Korra gave Mako the cold shoulder. Asami, resentful still, has chosen to delay the journey and to stay with Lin once they return to Republic City.
It's bad enough that he's in love with Korra. Do I really have to live with him, too?
Lin knows what it is to be spurned by the man who swore devotion. Korra and Asami's friendship has been strained, to say the least. Asami is grief-stricken over her father. Who can blame her? The man tried to kill his own daughter. Lin worries that they aren't looking after Asami because they're too busy looking after Korra.
Lin is concerned for her, too. Korra has been downtrodden, keeping to herself, barely eating, offering impersonations of smiles when others ask if she's well. To think she'd once thought of her as an entitled brat. She'd pay to see the cocky smile on her lips again.
It's the middle of the night when Lin finds her in front of the fireplace. Without the ability to bend, Lin feels half-blind and hobbled with her every step. Korra sits with her knees pulled to her chest, arms wrapped around them. She looks so small. "Korra…" Lin doesn't want to alarm her. "Can I sit?" Korra's back moves with every measured breath she takes. Eventually Korra nods. Lin moves closer and sits beside her. "I couldn't sleep."
"I can't imagine why," Korra says with a sad little laugh.
Lin smiles grimly. "Asami and I are leaving tomorrow to Republic City." Korra stills. "You could come with us. You don't have to stay here."
"Oh, right. I'm sure Asami wants to be stuck on a long trip with me, it's not like her boyfriend just confessed his love to me in front of everyone." She shakes her head. "I don't know how everything got so messed up."
"It will take time."
"Really? Because you're still pissed off about Tenzin and it's been what, thirty years?" Korra takes a breath. "Sorry." She brings a hand to her forehead. "Just…sorry." She pulls her knees tighter to herself. "Face it, I'm not the Avatar anymore. I'm just an airbender, a bad airbender. I can't even waterbend!" Korra looks at her. "Isn't it freaking weird if I'm a bender from the water tribe and I can't water bend? How do you do this? How can you do this?" There's a soft hitching of breath. "I wish I'd never known what bending was. I wish I'd never been the Avatar." Korra rests her face against her hand. Her voice breaks. "I feel as if the air has been snatched out of me. I'm so empty."
Lin can no longer metal bend but she makes her eyes steel. If she allows them to soften even a moment they will tear up and she cannot falter now, she cannot falter in front of the young woman who has had to be strong so often. "It isn't forever."
"I can't tell who you're trying to fool! Me or yourself!" she stands suddenly, glancing back at her. "Don't you get it, Lin? We're nothing anymore!" Korra goes.
Lin doesn't let her. She grabs her wrist tightly, enough to summon a squelch from Korra's throat and gets to her feet, yanking her back. "You stop it this instant. You may not be the Avatar anymore but you're still an airbender. Some of us have nothing anymore…!" Korra glowers at her, eyes and cheeks wet with tears. "You can't let this kill you, Korra. It will kill you if you let it. And you're too much of a pain in the ass to go down without a fight."
"What's it to you?"
The gall of this woman! "I care about you! Do you know how terrifying you make that?"
"I'm not worth caring about anymore. I'm just another South Water tribe girl who's not going to save or unite anyone! I didn't even stop Amon, Mako had to do it! What's up with the ancestors? They screwed it up or got lost when they decided to be reincarnated in me!"
"Stop. Moping." Lin takes Korra's face in her hands. Korra quiets almost immediately. "You've still got an advantage over most people. Over me." Korra looks at her, lips parted. "Your life is what you make of it. Most people live their lives without bending and they thrive. Asami has helped us, has helped you, has made difficult choices and she doesn't have any bending to back her up. This is hard, Korra but at some point you have to be the one to decide whether you keep going or you give up."
Korra's eyes have hardened. She yanks her arm back. Lin smiles. Asami appears in the doorway, rubbing her eyes gently. "I heard shouting. Is everything okay?"
"Fine," Korra says sharply. "I'm going to crash. And I doubt I'll be up in time for whenever you guys get up—so good luck with Republic City. I won't be around to pull its ass out of the fire when it decides to start blowing things up again." She waves flippantly to them without turning around.
"Uh, hey."
Lin looks to the bedroom door when Korra walks in. The sun hasn't risen yet. Asami is gathering her few belongings by the doorway. A sky bison should be arriving soon to carry them back to Republic City. Lin finishes buttoning her jacket. "You said you weren't getting up."
"I didn't. I didn't sleep, though. Counts, right?" She shuffles into the room, looking around cautiously though the room is one in her home and Lin has kept things in order. Lin regards her cautiously. "So you're leaving soon."
"In a few minutes." She waits. "Have you changed your mind about coming with us?"
"No," Korra says firmly. "But… I was… a bit of a bitch the last time we talked." Lin smirks. "I didn't mean to be insensitive or whiny, I just—"
"I know." Lin touches her shoulder. Korra smiles sheepishly and looks away. "Republic City won't be the same without you. I'll miss you, Korra."
"Liar. But maybe now that I'm gone you can focus on the real criminals. You were always obsessed with me."
"Get over yourself," Lin says sharply.
Korra laughs. She takes one step forward, closing the distance between them. Their lips brush. Lin feels as if she's been hit by lightning. She's in shock. The kiss is over as soon as it began. Korra looks up at her, smiling, eyes filled with tears. "I really wanted to be the Avatar. You saved me so many times. I wanted. I wanted to give you your bending back. I wanted that so much."
Lin is momentarily unable to breathe or think. The words strike her more than their brief, illicit kiss. She brushes the tears from Korra's cheeks. "Maybe someday you will," she tells her quietly.
Korra's arms wrap around Lin's neck. Maybe they're grief-stricken. Their lips join again, unsteady and slow until there's a knock on the door and Lin separates herself because she has to go. She must go away from the South Water tribe village, away from Korra and back to Republic City.
"Are you okay?" Asami kneels beside Lin helping her tie their few belongings to the harness on the sky bison. "You've been distracted ever since we left."
Lin doesn't look in the direction of the home. "I'm not a bender anymore. Everything needs to be secure. If we fall, we die."
"Oh." Asami says. "Well… let's not do that." She redoubles her efforts to check the ropes.
Lin likes that she doesn't complain. Lin wraps her fingers around the thick ropes and pulls them tightly. The rough bristles sting her fingers. Everything has to be absolutely right. Now, more than ever, there is no room for carelessness. Without her bending she is reminded of her own mortality. Death doesn't have to chase after her any longer. She can fumble towards it, accidentally.
Everything is checked, over and over and over again until Lin is satisfied. The sky bison lifts into the air. Lin watches the Southern Water village get smaller and smaller, relief and discomfort coiling within her.
Republic City is in shambles. There is debris everywhere. Fires still rage. Cars are overturned on the streets. Buildings are smoldering and demolished. They begin the descent on the sky bison.
Asami, who has said little on the journey finally speaks, her voice clear and cutting. "I can't believe my father helped do all of this."
Lin gives her a tour of the home. It has been untouched by the assault that occurred against the city. Asami trails her index finger along the furniture, exploring the rooms and furnishings as if it were in a museum and not a simple home. Her mint colored eyes flick to Lin. "You have lovely taste."
"You're used to better."
"Money doesn't buy everything." She sits gracefully on a black couch, crossing one leg over the other, arm draped along the back.
"I'm going to Air Temple Island later today to check on Tenzin and the kids." Lin puts the suggestion out there.
Asami glances at her fingernails. "Tell them 'hi' for me. I'm going out to see if I can find a bike. If I don't have an engine purring between my legs I get a little cranky." She smiles faintly.
Lin's cheeks blaze. Which one of them is a pervert? Asami's eyes rest patiently on her. Lin swallows any discomfort and perseveres. She's afraid of Asami spending too much time alone with only an older policewoman as company. "I'm not sure the streets are safe yet."
"And you think I'll be safer on Air Temple Island? I can take care of myself," she stands now, delicate eyebrows furrowed. "Mako's there." She says more quietly.
Lin allows a moment. The girl has no mother, she's lost her father. She's lost her boyfriend and may be too stubborn to talk to Korra. Did the two girls exchange goodbyes? Lin doesn't know. Maybe Korra kissed Asami goodbye as well. The thought flusters her and she buries it. She goes to a closet in the home and removes an old white, motorcycle helm. It's dull and scratched but still in working order. She throws it at Asami who catches it. "I'll visit Air Temple Island. You go find yourself a bike."
Asami smiles for the first time in days.
Everything takes longer without bending. She takes more knocks and fists to the face in a week while working than she has in the last several years combined.
She returns home late nights to Asami who tinkers with a motorcycle salvaged from the rubble of the city. It's dented and chokes whenever she tries to start it but she perseveres. Dinner is always on the table.
Lin always thanks her. Asami never knows right away why she does. She finds ice packs and presses compresses to Lin's face. "They say the Equalists are gone," Asami says quietly. "They say that on the radio."
Lin's face numbs from the ice. She has a bite of rice along with seared fish, marinated in spices. "So they say."
"Does it make you angry? So many weeks of terror and destruction, so much awfulness, all for what? Amon's lies?"
"Amon was a liar. The people who followed him didn't want benders around. They hated benders. They hate Amon because he is one."
"So much hate. And now we have to pick up after what's left." She lowers the ice pack. "I'm really sorry about what happened to you."
Lin doesn't want her pity. She takes a drink from her icy water. The ice clinks against the sweating glass. "I'm more sorry for Korra."
"Korra will be fine." Asami sets the ice pack down and returns outside, continuing to work on the motorcycle.
Lin knows she's said something wrong but she isn't going to lie to the girl just for her vanity. Lin listens to the banging of the hammer, the turning of the wrench, Asami's own exclamations and quietly finishes her dinner. She slides the door open and watches Asami work. She wears a thin, sleeveless yellow shirt, shorts and boots. Lin has never known anyone with such milky flawless skin. She smiles faintly when she spots the oil smudges along her arm. "I'm sorry about your father." She's avoided it long enough. Lin wouldn't want to hear it but neither is she a young woman nearly murdered by her own father.
"I'm not." She doesn't turn. She stills, wrench in hand. "I don't plan to be here forever. I'm just…figuring things out. I don't need a babysitter. I can be on my own."
"You don't have to be."
A few more turns of the wrench and Asami stands. She slaps it against her hand a time or two before straddling the machine and slamming on the pedal. The motorcycle roars to life before settling into a stirring purr. Asami looks back at Lin, oil smudged along her cheek, smile radiant. "Let me take you for a spin."
Lin feels a stirring. "Absolutely not."
Lin tumbles off edges, free falling only to rise sharply and glide down again.
She's dizzy.
Asami smiles.
Lin grabs her thin wrist and breathes unsteadily. "We can't ever do that again." First she kisses Korra and now this? She lost her bending, not the ability to tell wrong from right. Or did she? Lin doesn't know and it scares her. Everything scares her these days, it seems. It's becoming more difficult to act as cocksure as she was when things were still the same.
Asami kisses Lin's fingers, sucks on them tenderly before guiding them down her stomach and further down. Lin follows the movement as if hypnotized. Asami's eyes flutter shut, her lips parting in a soft, dreamy sigh.
The door slides open and Korra stares. It's early morning and Asami wears a slip. Her face is made up to perfection. Korra hasn't seen her in weeks and she hadn't expected to see her at Lin's.
"I'll take it you weren't looking for me," Asami says, leaving the doorway and moving further into the house. "She's at work."
Work? So she returned to the police guard. It makes sense. Korra doesn't know why she hadn't thought she would. She hasn't been thinking much these days. So now she has to make her way to the police station? She groans inwardly. It took forever just to make it to Lin's home. She left Naga at the South Water village not anticipating staying long. "Oh. I guess I should have thought of that."
"Maybe," Asami says curtly.
Korra follows her to a bedroom that she can't tell whether is hers or Lin's. Or maybe she's keeping her things in Lin's room? That wouldn't make sense. Korra's embarrassed. "Look, I'm sorry about Mako." Asami stills. Then she resumes looking through the closet. "I—I didn't want things to happen like that. It was wrong. I don't. You can have him, all right?"
"I don't want him." She glances at her coolly, "but thanks for giving me permission."
Could this be any more mortifying? Korra shuffles in place, her hands awkwardly stuffed in the back pockets of her pants. There are scratches on Asami's back. She watches her graceful, toned back with every shift as she finds the shirt she's looking for, flings the slip off and yanks the shirt on. "So… I didn't know you were staying with Lin."
"It isn't permanent. She's just… helping me out for a bit."
"Sounds like Lin."
"Yeah, well, she's all soft inside beneath that hard exterior." Asami finds her pants and steps into them. She isn't bashful in the slightest but Korra doesn't imagine she would be either if she looked like some glamorous movie star. Asami sits on the bed and yanks on her boots. "Lin would want to see you. She's worried."
"Yeah… and… she might even get to…sometime this week, maybe? The city is trashed," she sighs. It was worse than she imagined. And all this time later it's still wrecked. What must have it looked like to first return to it? She feels a pang of guilt. "I don't know how anyone gets around. I should have brought Naga but I don't know if she would have helped."
Asami walks out of the bedroom. Korra follows the trail of her fragrant perfume as she walks out the side door where a motorcycle rests. It isn't as flashy as what she's used to seeing Asami drive but it has some shine to it. "I'll give you a ride," Asami says climbing onto the bike. She picks up the helmet from the handlebars and throws it at Korra.
Korra catches it awkwardly. "You don't have to."
"I'm not doing it for you." She starts the bike, revving the engine loudly. "Are you coming or not?" Korra hesitates. Asami rolls her eyes. "Come on." She nods to the back seat. "The city's a mess and I know all the shortcuts. I'll get you where you need to go."
Korra slips the helmet on but gives Asami the goggles. The bike vibrates steadily. Is this why Asami loves riding around this thing? Normally she'd make the joke but they're on thin ice as it is. "Thanks," she mutters. She slides her arms carefully around Asami's waist. "Is this okay?" Asami doesn't hear her. Korra leans forward, brushing her lips against her ear. "Is this okay?" she asks again.
Asami turns her face to look at her. Their faces are close. "Yeah. Just hold on."
The ride consists of Asami taking sharp, dangerous turns and Korra hanging on for dear life. She's surprised she doesn't break Asami's ribs. She's half-convinced Asami is trying to kill her. Asami deposits her unceremoniously in front of the police station before speeding off.
There's no sneaking into the police station. They all know who she is. One unimpressed officer leads her to Lin's much smaller office before leaving her. Korra waits outside the door anxiously. How is Lin…? She'll go back home. No. She'll see her first and then go back home.
She turns the scratched, brassy doorknob and steps inside. Lin looks up from her mountain of paperwork. She stands. Korra wishes she had something clever to say. She realizes she's still wearing the helmet and slips it off.
Lin stands slowly. "Have you…?"
Gotten her bending back? Learned how to undo it? "No. Sorry."
Lin nods solemnly. "It's good to see you." Korra can't make herself move closer to her desk. Lin comes around to stand in front of her. "How have you been?"
Korra's breath catches in her throat. Miserable. She's been miserable. "Oh. Great. I've been great." She can't read Lin's face. "Asami's living with you now?"
"For the time being. She's having a hard time."
"Because of her father." Korra nods. "She gave me a ride. That was nice," she says lamely.
"She's a nice girl."
"I've been thinking of how we left things," she says bluntly, unable to contain herself any longer and not wanting to dwell on Asami. "And—I'm not sure what it was. But I haven't been able to stop thinking about it so I came here. To… talk to you about it at work…" she falters. "Great idea."
"That shouldn't have happened."
"But it did."
Lin takes a breath. "We were both…sad, Korra. These things happen."
"So what? You and Asami have been sad. I doubt you two have been running around and making out." Korra runs her fingers through her hair, not sure if she or Lin is more mortified at her words. "All I'm saying is that…maybe I haven't been able to stop thinking about it."
"Korra… I'm old enough to be your mother."
"You're not my mother." Korra takes her arm.
Lin pulls it away. "Stop. You don't know everything."
"I don't need to. I know you."
Korra kisses her. She persists until Lin's lips part and she presses Korra to the door. The helmet slips away from Korra's fingers, clattering to the floor.
They visit Tenzin, Pema and the kids. Air Temple Island looks worse than Korra thought it would. Bolin scoops her up in a bear hug, swinging her around wildly before letting her go. Korra missed him. She makes polite, meaningless conversation with Mako. Jinora, Ikki and Meelo teach her some air bending tricks.
They eat dinner with the family before departing to the ferry back to Republic City. Korra will be staying for a few days. Lin will return home. They wait for the ferry to arrive. In a dark corner, under a starless sky, Korra kisses Lin again, then again and again.
There are two small bowls of food out on the table. It has gone cold. It's long past the hour Lin usually returns. Asami is curled up on the couch with a book in her hands.
"Sorry I'm late."
"How was Korra?"
"…fine." Lin says. The ferry ride back to Republic City hasn't provided any clarity. Lin doesn't know what she's doing. She wonders if Korra and Asami are as lost. Asami turns another page in the book. "How was your day?"
"Good."
With every step Lin takes she feels as if the earth is giving way beneath her. She sits in front of the table, thanks her for the dinner and begins to eat. She can't focus. She wants her bending back. She wants Korra's bending back. She wants better for Asami.
"You look sad." Asami says. Lin looks at her and doesn't know what to say. "I went home today. It's a disaster but some of it is still standing." She turns another page. "I can go back there. I think I will."
"Will that be safe? What if there are Equalists about?"
Asami smiles. "I'm pretty good against Equalists. I still have a glove." She swings her legs over the side of the couch. Lin looks at them, knowing how soft they feel beneath her hand. She thinks of Korra. She isn't sure if being closer to them in age would make it more or less serious. She was a terror as a teenager. Sex was something to be done for fun. Is it the same for them?
"I've enjoyed having you here."
Asami smirks gently. "I've enjoyed being had here." She goes to her and kisses Lin slowly, running her tongue along her lower lip. She pauses and looks down at her for a long time. Lin knows that she knows. After Mako, did Asami need this again? Or after Mako has she stopped caring? "I'm going to bed."
Lin finishes the dinner and waits for the bedroom door to slide shut but it never does.
Four Equalists down, three to go.
Asami focuses.
An Equalist kicks at her. She dodges the kick, grabbing his leg at the last second and flinging him against the wall. There's a satisfying crunch. The other lunges and she sidesteps every swing before ducking the last and twisting, touching their shoulder with the Equalist glove. They shake violently and fall over.
She turns. A fist catches her in the stomach. The air goes out of her. There's a moment where everything moves in slow motion. An Equalist jumps through the air at her, electrified batons swinging.
Then he spins out of control and flies several feet behind her, landing violently. Asami breathes raspily. There is a shout and the Equalists scramble to their feet, hightailing it out of the fallen mansion.
"That's right, you'd better run!" Korra sends another violent gust of wind after them. She glowers. Her voice, the old cheerful, mocking voice that Asami remembers is a stark contrast against the shine of her eyes. "Looks like I picked a good time to visit."
Korra doesn't look at her.
Asami sunbathes by the pool.
The mansion is in ruins, giving the pool the strange affect of some other world. A tree has toppled over, branches stretching out like fingers over the pool. Korra walks barefoot along the tree trunk, watching Asami who has done an exceptional job of being polite and dismissive in one.
"Should you be here by yourself?" Korra asks. "What about your father…?"
"He hasn't stopped me yet."
Korra bites her tongue. She misses having Asami as a friend. "What if they come in the middle of the night?"
"You have something against that?"
Korra flushes red. "I'm trying to have a conversation with you." Asami stretches her arms over her head before folding them behind her and shifting in the poolside chair. "Are we ever going to get over this? I want us to be friends."
"…We're friends."
Nothing about how she says it is convincing. Korra jumps off the tree trunk, diving deep into the water. She still can't water bend. She swims to the front of the pool, bursting from the water and folding her arms on the edge of the pool. "You've left three times without saying goodbye." When she sees Asami ready to protest she lifts a hand. "When I stayed in the city you didn't say goodbye. And again at the village. And again in front of the police station. I know Mako hurt you, Asami, but you hurt me, too. Things have really sucked—and somehow it doesn't seem to matter to you because your boyfriend couldn't make up his mind. I thought we were friends. Do you even care about me?"
"Of course I do," she says indignantly. "How can you even ask me that? Do you know how much I risked for you? Do you think I would have done that for just anyone?"
Korra's embarrassed. She pulls herself out of the pool, splashing water everywhere. The sun beats down hotly against her. "I really worry about you and Lin." Korra crawls over to where Asami sits, sitting beside her on the floor and facing her. "I wish you weren't alone."
"We're not alone."
"But you don't have any family." Korra says. The mansion is in ruins. Hiroshi tried to kill her. Mako dumped her. She doesn't live with Lin anymore. "I'm really sorry about what you've been through."
"I don't need you to be sorry for me. I'm doing fine." Asami's eyes narrow gently. "If anyone should feel sorry for anybody—"
Korra's heart clenches. "Don't say it. Please don't say it," the words spill out of her lips hastily. "You're the only one who hasn't felt sorry for me." Korra can't stand another person feeling sorry for her, looking at her with pitying eyes. Asami eyes her warily—as if she were a still a contender.
Asami's fingernails graze along Korra's neck, still wet and cold from the pool. Korra draws in a shaky breath. "I won't feel sorry for you," she promises.
Asami pins her arm down, pulling the bronzed, athletic leg over her hip. Asami has never seen Korra's hair loosed before.
Korra gasps. Her vocal chords strain as she breathes Asami's name in feverish shards. In the large, abandoned home she doesn't have to hold back. She cries out.
Korra is firm, like earth, skin hot like fire, she takes Asami's breath with kisses. She is wet, silken. Asami moves against her, the two of them tangled in the sheets of the massive bed. Korra's back arches, head back. Asami bites her earlobe, eliciting another gasp.
"When I met you, I thought you were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen," Asami whispers. It's how she knew she would lose Mako to her. "You're still the Avatar to me."
Korra switches their positions, getting Asami on her back, hands on each of her knees, pushing them apart, sinking lower, moving closer until their lips touch and Asami forgets that her family is gone, that her home is no more, that nobody loves her.
"How did he do it?" Korra asks Lin. "How did he take your bending? …Did he want anything?"
Lin looks at Korra. Amon made his demands—demands that Lin refused to submit to. It cost her everything. She would do it again. "No." she won't put that guilt on Korra. "He just took it."
"I still dream of him. I dreamt of him the entire time. I thought there would be a fight. I stayed because I thought I could win. But I was weak. And he took everything." Korra's lip quivers. "I'm glad he didn't ask. I was so scared of him… If he had let me keep my bending I would have given him anything. Everything," she breathes.
Lin touches Korra's face. "I don't believe that for a second."
"I wish I were the person you think I am."
"I'm going back home."
Asami sits astride the motorcycle, engine still humming, unsure if she's heard properly. She unhooks the helmet and her hair spills free like a curtain. "Why?" Is it because of her? Because of Lin? Because of Mako? The brightness of Korra's eyes fades by the day. "You should stay."
"I can't." She takes a breath. "I'm not the Avatar anymore. I don't have a place here. Lin was right about me. I really did expect to get my way just because of who I was. I didn't want to earn any of it. I don't know that I can. All I want to do is cry. And I'm only ever happy when I'm with you or with Lin. But I'm hurting everybody. And I hurt you again, Asami. You never say anything about it."
Asami shrugs. "We all hurt each other sometimes."
"I want to be better. I remember when I could fight Equalists for weeks on end with almost no sleep. I was a Fire Ferret! I was unstoppable! Now I spend half the day just trying to get out of bed."
Asami has days like that. "What do you want me to say?"
"I want you to say goodbye. This time—I need to hear you say it."
Asami shuts the engine of the bike off and steps away from it, helmet in hand. She goes to Korra, stands close before moving past her. Asami goes into the deserted mansion. She is a squatter in her proper home. She shuts the door and brings her hands over her mouth.
Korra is gone.
Asami knocks on Lin's door but doesn't get a response. She goes to the police station but doesn't find her.
She adjusts the rearview mirror on her bike and reapplies her lipstick with a trembling hand.
Korra makes it through dinner with her parents before excusing herself and going for a walk. She doesn't think to close her coat. The numbing chill of the air is welcome. She makes it to the cliff of the village before collapsing to her knees. Before she knows it she's sobbing, torrents of hot tears that go stiff and cold on her face almost immediately. All she can see is an ocean that is no longer a part of her.
She doesn't miss being the Avatar. She misses being herself. What made her who she is has been taken and no one understands that she's been stripped away to nearly nothing. Losing her bending is akin to losing an arm and her legs. She's been amputated and trying to explain it to anyone only makes her look like a foolish, spoiled little girl.
Lin lost her bending, her position, her family and she doesn't complain. Asami lost her parents and her boyfriend, her confidence, friends and she doesn't complain.
Korra can't breathe she cries so hard. Shouldn't the Avatar be stronger? Shouldn't she be stronger? Shouldn't she just be able to get over this? Won't she be able to move on? How can she live like this?
She sees the Air Nomad Attire from the corner of her eye and curls further into herself. Hasn't Tenzin seen her be weak enough already? Where did he come from? Did he just arrive? "Go away," she begs quietly, "please."
"But you called me here."
Asami feeds the Koi in the pond.
A gentle breeze is stirring.
Lin rests against a boulder five times the size of her—a new addition since the attack on Republic City. Lin is grateful that it didn't smash through the roof of her home. She has taken to being grateful for the little things. She and Asami have taken to being sad.
I just feel so tired all the time. Asami told her one day.
They spend time together. Their roles vary.
They both look up when the side door to courtyard opens. Korra steps through. They haven't seen her in weeks.
She moves to Lin who starts to rise before Korra stops her. Lin kneels before her, curiosity and sadness deeply etched on her features. Korra glides her fingers along Lin's face before her thumb settles gently to her forehead.
The light is blinding. For the first time in months, Lin takes a real breath. Warm, golden energy flows through her. She can see again. She can feel again. She takes a shaky breath.
Lin stands. The boulder lifts into the air, the rocks forming the path to the Koi pond rise before settling steadily. The joy on Lin's face is almost embarrassing.
Asami looks sidelong at them and smiles.
Korra can't tell what parts of the mansion Asami plans to restore or if she plans on leaving it behind eventually. She moves through the home, climbing and descending stairs, walking through the bare kitchen, past the pool, past the studies and the ballrooms, past the bedrooms until she arrives to the exhibit room.
Machines are lined up everywhere like cold golems. Korra glares at them and moves past the machines that tried to stop her, past one of the machines that Bolin told her Hiroshi used to try to kill Asami. There are countless cars, some escaped unscathed; others are destroyed.
Asami sits behind the wheel of a glinting red one, an Equalist glove in hand, no doubt ready for attackers. Her face is expressionless until she notices Korra and smiles. Korra hops into the seat beside her. "I can tell your real smiles from your fake ones, you know." And she's only seen the fake ones since everything went down in Republic City.
The smile falls away from Asami's lips and she's blank again. "I know you don't want to hear it, but I'm sorry." Korra says. "About everything. About getting my life back—getting my bending back."
Asami looks at her sharply. "Don't be sorry for that."
Korra had been happy to get her bending back, to return Lin's to her. For several days she had lived in a happy bubble, thinking everything was fine. It was Lin who reminded her that for Asami nothing had changed. Leave it to Lin to put a damper on things by hitting her with the truth. "I just wish I could help you."
"I don't need to be saved."
Korra smiles grimly. "Yeah, you're right." She leans back into the comfortable leather of the seats, accidentally hitting a lever that makes the seat fall back almost completely. She tries to wipe the shock from her face but Asami catches it and smiles faintly. "The more I think about it—the more I think you're the toughest of us. You and Lin—I really wish I could be more like the two of you."
"We'd prefer it if you stayed Korra."
"Yeah? I'll remember that the next time you're giving me a hard time for being reckless."
"You are a lot of trouble."
"You wouldn't have stuck around if I wasn't."
"My upstanding society friends don't hold a candle to you. I've got to get my kicks somewhere."
Korra looks up at her. They've never had a discussion about what's happened. With her bending returned Lin has become sterner, not as soft—more like the hardened Chief she first met. It's like returning her bending restored her unwavering sense of wrong and right. Lin has been kind to her and encouraging but she has put an end to whatever it was that was happening between them. Now that they have their bending back, Korra isn't sure that either woman needs it anymore. "I heard you and Lin…"
"Not anymore."
Korra nods. "I'm going to be staying in Republic City for a while. I think I'm ready to… I don't know. Get back out there. And just move on… from everything that was holding me back." Asami's face is thoughtful. "I'm going to be staying on Air Temple Island. Is that going to be a problem?"
"Why are you asking me?" Her delicate eyebrows narrow. "I told you, I'm over him."
"You didn't but that's good. Like it or not, he's going to be my friend. Whether he wants to be or not and maybe in time he could be your friend. I want you to visit. Tenzin says you never have since the last time we were all there. I don't want to be the only one doing the visiting."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Because I need you to know. And look, I'm still pissed off and hurt that you couldn't bother saying bye to me. What's with that? I specifically asked."
"And because you did I should have just done it?"
"No—that isn't—" Well, yeah.
"Air Temple Island wasn't worth going to if you weren't there. I didn't want to see a happy family. I didn't want to see Mako and Bolin. I know how that sounds."
"Yeah, maybe. But it makes sense." Just like she couldn't be in a city full of benders, in a city she hadn't defended as well as she might have liked. "Don't be so hard on yourself."
Asami shifts, finally taking her hands off the wheel of the car and looking at her. She lifts the hand that bears the Equalist glove and brings it to Korra's face. Korra feels a jolt of fear—it takes a moment to realize that she hasn't been shocked into submission. She breathes shallowly as Asami trails it along her. What she thought was a passing phase while she was without bending was clearly not. Heat and excitement render her dizzy. "I didn't want to say goodbye to you. So I didn't."
Korra takes Asami's gloved hand and squeezes it. She lifts herself to catch her lips.