This is purely for crack purposes. My friend and I were conversing about random stuff while eating churros...I can't even mention churros anymore. If you are or are feeling offended by this, I apologize in advance. Hetalia doesn't belong to me. -thoughiwishitwould-

"A-a-ah, S-Spain!" Lovino cried, wincing as the said person's teeth grazed down his chest, leaving him moaning in pleasure from his position, pinned against the wall of the Spaniard's living room. The air was hotter than he had thought it was, but Lovino wanted it this way. If anyone was going to take him, then it had to be Spain; Even though everyone regarded him as a pervert, Romano didn't care. If Antonio was going to be a pedo, then he would be his willing victim.

"Did you say something, Lovi?~" Spain asked in a husky, sing-song voice, which only made Lovino more hard. Dio, Romano wanted it now.

"D-Damn it, churro-bastard, just hurry up and..." his voice trailed off as he stared at the Spaniard with pleading eyes.

"And what?" Antonio grinned hazily, in the stupid, sexy way that Lovino adored.

"Whip it out!" Romano demanded in a shaky tone, not sure if this was what he wanted. He was still a virgin, after all. A fucking virgin, despite his flirtatious attitude with women. They could all go to hell right now.

There was a strangely amused expression on the Spaniard's face, one that Lovino thought he must've seen by mistake, since it faded within a second, replaced by a hearty smile.

"Anything for you, my little tomato~" But first, Antonio moved his face closer to the Italian's, and gave him a sloppy, wet kiss while tugging at the waistband of his jeans. Romano didn't resist at all; in fact, he grinded his hips roughly against Spain's, begging for something more than friction.

He was rewarded. The Spaniard groaned in delight, pulling off Lovino's jeans all the way, along with his boxers, and started massaging the hard lump, causing him to squirm against his hold. The kiss was broken.

"O-oh, Toni~ Right there!" said Lovino, shuddering from the feeling of Spain's warm hands running up and down his length.

With his free hand, Spain moved his own fingers to his pants, unzipping it slowly. But halfway, he stopped all movement, including the rubbing.

"Lovi." he said seriously.

"What is it?! Hurry up and fuck me, tomato-bastard!" Lovino said, annoyed.

"My dick is a churro."

"Okay okay, whatever just hu- WHAT. THE. FUCK."

Spain's dick was really a churro. He had revealed it in all it's crisp, cinnamon-sugar covered breadness.

Lovino twitched, and pulled up his pants, shuddering at the knowledge. This time he wished he didn't know so much.

"I-I'm so done...I-I'll just go over to fratello's to jack off...y-yeah, that's what I'll do..." Without further ado, Lovino ran out of Spain's house, not sure if he would ever recover from what he saw.

Antonio only smiled, and pulled up his boxers, turning to the closet.

"Well amigos, where's Eyebrows?"

Prussia and France pushed the doors open. Francis was smirking lustfully at what just happened, while Prussia was laughing his head off.

"Do not worry, mon ami...I convinced Angleterre to turn you back after the little...incident." Antonio smiled despite the tone his friend used. England had turned their lengths into...things after they tried to 'make friends' with him.

France had a bottle of wine. Gilbert had a bottle of beer. And Spain had a churro.

The Spaniard yawned, and grinned contently. It wasn't time for him to take Lovi yet. He didn't want to hurt his friend. But for now...

"Good~ 'Cause I've got myself a picture of Lovi to jack off to."