There were good days and bad days.
On the bad days, Kurt felt terrible. His mind was all over the place, worrying and fearing. He couldn't concentrate or focus on anything; his lesson, his friends, Glee. All he wanted to do was shout until he was blue in the face and didn't have a voice left. When he got home, he'd pull on his pyjamas, grab a large chocolate bar and gorge himself as he watched musical after musical. Eventually, he'd fall asleep, his eyes sore and red from crying.
On the good days, Kurt barely felt the dangerous shadow.
But he was always there, watching. Kurt couldn't shake it from his mind. He was never free, never safe. His life wasn't his own anymore; he couldn't do what he want, always plagued by fear of what would happen. He imagined the worst, and sometimes even contemplated whether he should do it himself, just to save the time and trouble.
Luckily, it was in these dark moments that Kurt thought of Blaine. He knew his story, how he'd been bullied and how he'd escaped it. it was something Kurt both admired and was jealous of. Blaine had what Kurt wanted; freedom. Soon, he knew he'd get it – he'd get out of Lima and disappear to New York where they'd never find him. But when soon wasn't soon enough, Blaine knew how to help him stick it out.
It started out as texts. Every day, Blaine would send him one word: Courage. Then, at some point, it became stupid little gifts in the mail; burned discs of Kurt's favourite movie, his favourite book, even food. But on the really bad days, what Kurt needed was Blaine so he'd drive over. They'd spend the night watching cheesy movies and joking until Burt send Blaine home.
So when the threat came, Kurt knew having Blaine over for one night wouldn't help. Well, it did. Briefly. The next day, the same chill overcame him and he burst into tears before he could make it home. No one knew what had been said, and Kurt was glad. He didn't like to show weakness, to admit that he'd been broken. But he was fearing he was beyond mending this time.
To distract himself, Kurt buried himself in planning for his father's wedding. And it was all going perfectly. Until school mixed with home. Thinking back, Kurt should never have brought Burt to school. He should have taught him to dance at home, in safety, without Finn. But it was no use regretting; it was over and done now, in the past. Now, Kurt had to focus himself on dealing with the consequence.
Telling Blaine.
He'd already told his school friends. The moment it had been decided, he'd opted to get it out the way and just say. But telling Blaine was different and he was nervous of his reaction. In his seat, Kurt squirmed and looked at his watch. Five past. Blaine was late. Kurt wasn't sure if that was good or bad. He gnawed at his thumb, wondering what he was going to say, when movement opposite him woke him from his thoughts. He looked up to find Blaine sitting opposite, tugging his coat off and laying it on the seat beside him.
"Hey," Blaine brightly. "Sorry I'm late. My car wouldn't start."
"It's fine," Kurt told him quietly.
His tone instantly made the smile on Blaine's face melt away. "Kurt, what's wrong?"
He was very tempted to lie, to pretend nothing was, but that defeated the object of meeting him and he sighed. "Karofsky threatened to kill me."
Blaine blinked. "What?"
Kurt ignored him, continuing, "My dad found out and… he and Carole – they decided to let me transfer. To Dalton."
Blaine didn't speak for a moment, processing this. In the silence, Kurt sat, unable to look at him, scared of his reaction. What if he was mad and angry at him? What if he didn't want Kurt at Dalton? What if this just made everything worse?
"I understand," Blaine said quietly, finally. "I mean, I did the same. I think… This is good. I'm glad. I… I was actually beginning to get worried. I mean, I know you're strong and brave, but there's only so many times you can get knocked before you break. Plus I don't think my allowance would support all that chocolate I was buying for you."
Kurt blushed and bit his lip, keeping back the words he wanted to say.
With you around, I can withstand anything.
