"One Chaotic Evening"
By
Sakura Courage Solo
Author's Notes:
Okay, I have no idea where the idea for this fanfic came up. I really don't. I think it just started off as a random scribble fanfic out of boredom and writer's block, and in actuality I was wondering if I should even post this or not. Eventually I decided my page needed tp be updated anyway, at least until I finish and post the sequel to Hearts of Steel. I just hope you all enjoy this fanfic and don't feel badly for me going random on you for once. n.n; I just apologize that I couldn't think of a better title.
Disclaimer:
I don't own Sonic, Shadow or Manic and I don't get paid for writing this. I do however own my own character Sakura, so back off. I'm in the legal. n.n
Now, on with teh fanfic!
The morning started out normally enough.
Shadow came out of the shower, put on his pink bath robe, got a cup of coffee and opened the front door of his apartment to get the morning paper. Yes, it seemed like a normal saturday morning for the black hedgehog, who was looking forward to an uneventful day off from work as he sat on the couch with his coffee and paper... at least until the phone rang.
"Always something..."
He griped, leaning over to get a look at the caller I.D. machine. Shadow groaned as he saw Sonic's number on the small LCD screen.
"What does he want now... ?"
The black hedgehog complained, reluctantly picking up the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey Shadow!"
Sonic blurted in his usual, hyperactive tone.
"You got any plans for tonight?"
"Why yes, actually I do."
Shadow replied, his tone dripping with indignance.
"I'm going to be enjoying the rest of my day off by relaxing quietly with a book and a fresh, warm slice of molten caramel fudge cake."
"... pffft, boring!"
Sonic exclaimed rudely.
"You need to get out more, Shadow! You stay by yourself waaaay too much!"
Shadow could almost hear Sonic smirking on the other end as his tone turned devious.
"Listen Shadow, my twin bro is comin' to town today for a visit. We're gonna hit the town tonight and have some fun. Wanna come with?"
"Actually Sonic, I..."
"Great! We'll pick you up tonight around 8! See ya then!"
Sonic then hung up before Shadow could protest. So much for a relaxing day off.
That evening, Shadow was putting his red highlights back in his quills when he heard the doorbell ring.
"I'll just ignored it and pretend I'm not home..."
Shadow muttered to himself as he finished with his highlights, putting his robe on.
"Maybe they'll just go away."
However, Shadow walked out of the bathroom a few minutes later to find Sonic and a green hedgehog with unruly forehead quills, whom he was assuming to be Sonic's brother, standing in the living room.
"Hey, there you are Shadow!"
The blue Hedgehog greeted in an annoying tone. Shadow growled,
"What are you two doing in my apartment?"
The black hedgehog seethed through his clenched teeth. Sonic shrugged nonchalantly as he gave his reply,
"Well, we figured you were busy at the moment since you didn't answer the door, so Manic picked the lock and we let ourselves in."
Shadow sweatdropped, wondering if killing both of them right now would be worth all of the paperwork that would be incurred.
Manic leaned to Sonic and whispered in his ear,
"Is this that Shadow guy you told me about Bro? You were right about him looking like something out of a bad black and white horror flick..."
"I can hear you, you know..."
Shadow told the green hedgehog, eyes narrowed indignantly. Manic blinked in surprise, but Shadow's vexed state didn't deter Sonic as he said,
"So, ready to go then Shadow?"
"Sonic, I'm wearing a bath robe. What do you think?"
Shadow replied curtly, Sonic rubbing his chin in thought as he observed the bath robe the black hedgehog was wearing.
"I'm thinking... that shade of cotton candy pink is NOT your colour."
The blue hedgehog stated, Shadow running a hand over his face in disbelief of Sonic's ignorance.
"You should go with a cherry red or an ivory white. Now come on, we gotta get going! The cows await!"
Sonic stated, pulling Shadow's robe off in a single, swift motion before the black hedgehog could resist, Manic taking the liberty of grabbing Shadow's work shoes rather than his air shoes as he shoved him out the door.
Yup, when two hedgehogs conspire to go after a lone wolf, he's had it.
"Okay, dare I ask WHY we're in a cow pasture?"
Shadow grumbled a while later as he, Sonic and Manic found themselves climbing over a wooden fence and sneaking into a cow pasture.
"Dude, you've never been cow tipping before?"
Manic asked, surprise lacing his voice as Shadow set his feet on the ground and replied,
"No, it always seemed like a pointless waste of time."
Sonic and Manic both snickered, not allowing themselves to laugh loudly lest they wake their 'victims'.
"Oh man Shadow, you haven't lived until you've gone cow tipping!"
Manic said, crouching down in the grass.
"Watch a pro now."
He gloated, sneaking through the tall grass and toward an unsuspecting cow who slumbered a few yards away.
"This is insane..."Shadow whispered to Sonic as they watched Manic creep along, the blue hedgehog motioning for his counterpart to shush.
Manic was right next to the cow now as he slowly rose from the grass, smirking devilishly just before giving the bovine a hard shove and running.
The cow mooed loudly with surprise and fright as it fell to the ground, Sonic laughing heartily as he stated,
"Oh man, did you hear it?! It mooed the whole way down!"
Shadow just rolled his eyes, Sonic getting over his laughing fit and sneaking into the tall grass.
"Come on, Shadow! There're plenty more cows in this field to tip!"
"Oh joy..."Shadow murmured with dripping sarcasm, but seeing as he'd already been dragged out here, he figured he may as well go along.
Clouds soon came over the full moon above, dimming what little light there was significantly. This only annoyed Shadow further, needless to say.
Just ahead however, he could now see the faint outline of a cow, just waiting to be tipped.
"Finally..."
He muttered, standing and preparing to give the cow a good, hard shove. As he did so however, he accidentally snapped a twig under the sole of his shoe, the 'cow' immediately waking and turning to the sound. Now that the thing was turned towards him, Shadow could make out the faint outline of two long, pointed appendages protruding from the cow's head.
"... Uh-oh..."
Was all that escaped Shadow's lips as the clouds above began pulling away from the moon, allowing light to shed on the bull afront him.
Shadow was wordless for a shocked moment, a bead of sweat rolling down the side of his head as he mentally cursed Manic for grabbing his work shoes instead of his air skates earlier. It didn't help that Shadow had no Chaos Emerald with him either.
There was a momentary, dead silence among the two until the bull finally gave an angry snort, instigating Shadow to turn tail and run.
The bull let out a loud war cry and took quick chase of the black hedgehog, the two running right by Sonic and blue hedgehog quirked an eyebrow.
"He tried to tip a bull? He's either brave or stupid... or both."
"I'd say a bit of both."
Manic replied, watching in surprising calmness as the black hedgehog and his pursuer ran by again.
"Should we do something?"
Sonic asked, his eyes following Shadow and the bull as they ran by yet again.
"Nah, we'll let Shadow learn his lesson about tipping bulls."
Manic replied, Shadow finally managing to reach a lone tree that stood in the pasture nd immediately climbing it. The bull rammed the trunk below, but fortunately couldn't reach Shadow much to the black hedgehog's relief.
"Too close..."
He murmured, wiping some sweat from his brow as he laid down on a branch and held on.
"Sonic and Manic are going to get it once I get out of this tree... that bull can't guard the trunk forever."
He sighed as he began to relax, deciding to wait out the bull... unfortunately for Shadow, the bull had other plans as it began to repeatedly ram the tree trunk. The roots began coming up out of the earth and the tree began to lean.
"... Oh spork..."
Shadow said with a sweatdrop as the tree finally toppled over and fell. There was a loud splash as Shadow fell into the cows' drinking pond black hedgehog wasted no time in swimming to the surface, coughing a bit and wiping some water from his eyes before making his way to the shore.
"Gonna kill 'em... gonna kill 'em both..."
He sneered as he stopped onto the solid ground. That's when Shadow heard a sudden snort and looked forward, seeing that seemingly ever present bull standing there in a charging position.
"... Oh spork..."
Shadow repeated, figuring this was it. Then...
"What's going on out here?!"
A voice suddenly boomed out from the nearby farm house, a man who could only be assumed as the farmer standing on the porch, pitchfork in hand no less. His glare became angry when he laid eyes on Sonic and Manic.
"You two again?! I'm gonna... !"
"The farmer raised his pitchfork, Sonic and Manic sweatdropping.
"We've been I.D.'d! Run!"
The blue hedgehog yelled before grabbing his brother and Shadow, fleeing at sonic speed.
Shadow wasn't sure if he should be thankful to Sonic for grabbing him before the bull charged or if he should be angry at him for getting him into the mess in the first place. He finally decided he'd figure it out later as Sonic finally stopped afront a convenience store. Manic heaved a sigh of relief as he, Sonic and Shadow walked inside.
"Man, that farmer catches us in the act earlier every time..."
The green hedgehog said, drawing a Vanilla Coke from the cooler. Shadow huffed, looking for the Sierra Mist as he replied,
"There's an easy solution to that problem: Don't go out there anymore."
"Yeah, you're probably right Shadow."
Sonic agreed, taking a sip of his blue raspberry slushie before adding,
"Jack's already onto us by now. Next time we go cow tipping, we'll do it at Mary's farm down the road!"
"That's not what I... oh, forget it."
Shadow said with a vexed tone, a bead of sweat rolling down the back of his head from frustration.
"So... whaddya think we should do next?"
Manic asked matter of factly as he sipped his Vanilla Coke, earning a glare from Shadow at his seemingly willing amnesia of the recent incident. Shadow blurted angrily,
"WE are not doing anything! I am going to... !"
"Hold that thought Shadow! I just had a way past cool idea!"
Sonic interrupted rudely, pointing at Manic with his slushie holding hand and thusly making a blue raspberry mess everywhere as he added,
"Manic, you still got that stash of toilet paper and silly string?"
"... how did you ever talk me into this?"
Shadow asked in obvious vexation as he looked to the two brothers, the blue one replying,
"Because you like hanging out with us?"
"That's hardly the reason."
The black hedgehog replied with a snort.
"Why are we even doing this? I don't even know who lives here!"
He pointed out, gesturing to the quaint, two story house before them. Sonic lifted his index finger to Shadow in a gesture that he was about to make a point as he said,
"This is the crabbiest old lady in the world! She chases away people who just walk on her sidewalk! The only time she lets anyone on her lawn is at Halloween, and then she only give out..."
Sonic gave an overdramatic shudder before finishing.
"... H-health bars..."
"... Health bars?"
Shadow asked, quirking an eyebrow. Manic joined in with his brother at this point as he added,
"That's not the worst of it! If she doesn't like you for any reason, she sends you a fruitcake at Christmas!"
"... Fruitcake. Right."
Shadow had to roll his ruby red eyes at that. While he had to admit that fruitcake was highly unpopular, it was far from being evil.
"Yeah..."
Sonic said, shaking off what was supposedly 'fruitcake fear' before proceeding.
"Okay, well now that you realize how evil she is, let's get started. Manic?"
The green hedgehog nodded as he acknowledged his cue,pulling out a large cardboard box from some nearby bushes.
"All right, let's arm ourselves!"
He said with vigor as he reached into the box, naming things as he tossed them to Sonic and Shadow.
"T.P., Silly String, Funny Foam, Whoopee Cushion, pants..."
"... Dare I ask what the pants are for?"
Shadow asked as he observed the jeans that had been tossed to him, Sonic just smirking as he replied,
"Just put 'em on, we'll let ya know!"
Sonic's dumb and overconfident smirk only further assured Shadow that this was all a bad idea, but he figured that he would go along since he was already this deep in.
"I know I'm going to regret this..."
He muttered as he pulled on the jeans.
The prank was soon underway as they proceeded to cover the house from the chimney to the foundation in silly string, funny foam and toilet paper. Manic finished by putting a whoopee cushion afront the front door and ringing the door bell, running down the steps to where Sonic and Shadow were waiting.
They soon heard footsteps as the old lady came toward the door. Sonic glanced at Shadow as he gripped the belt of his pants and said with that stupid smirk,
"Get ready to follow our lead..."
That's when the door came open, an elderly lady with a thick wooden walking cane and a grey beehive hairdo stepping out... and right onto the whoopee cushion.
The sound was long and disgusting, the old lady looking down in surprise for a moment before turning her now angry eyes back up to the three hedgehogs before her.
"Now!"
Sonic yelled, he and his brother swiftly turning around, bending over and yanking their pants down. Shadow sweatdropped heavily, not about to follow suit as he yelled,
"THAT'S what the pants were for?! Just so you could moon her?!"
"Pretty fun, huh?"
Manic asked gingerly, oblivious to the black hedgehog's disdain.
Shadow wasn't sure what to say, dumbfounded by he brothers' behaviour. He looked back to the old lady, about to apologize for himself... until he saw her reach into the door nd pull out a rifle.
"RUN!"
Was all he yelled before turning on his heels and dashing away, Sonic and Manic looking over their shoulders just in time to see the old lady take aim. The two promptly scattered, narrowly avoiding being shot.
"Aw man, that was awesome!"
Sonic exclaimed minutes later after the trio had safely escaped the rifle wielding granny. Shadow gave the blue hedgehog an indignant glare as he fumed,
"Awesome? Getting shot hardly would've been awesome!"
Shadow's ears flattened against his head in obvious disdain of the night's events as well as his 'companions', if one could call them that.
"I ask you, what has been the point of all this?! You two have put me through nothing but misery since moonrise! First you two broke into my apartment, dragged me out and away from my nice, calm plans, THEN you two nearly got me gored by a walking steak, and after THAT you nearly got me shot by an old lady!"
"... you're still alive, what's the big deal?"
Manic asked in a matter of fact, childlike tone. Maybe it was the sincerity of that tone that made Shadow silently pause at that moment, or maybe he actually thought that Manic might be right. Most likely however, Shadow was probably just wondering where Manic found the gall to ask such a question. The black hedgehog managed to regain his composure after a moment though, putting his hands up defensively as he said,
"F-forget it! I'm going home before I DO get killed!"
With that, Shadow turned and began to walk away with a determined stride, not about to let the brothers talk him into some other crazy antic or, perhaps more appropriately stated, dangerous stunt.
Shadow only stopped when Sonic ran into his path in a blue blur, stopping afront the black hedgehog and smirking in a rather devious manner as he looked him in the eyes and said in a taunting tone,
"Okay, sure Shadow, you can go home. Manic and I just have one more stop tonight anyway."
"Yeah, you wouldn't want any part of it anyway Shadow. You're too anti-social for anything involving... girls."
Manic added, giving the word 'girls.' an emphasized, mocking tone. Shadow couldn't help but quirk an eyebrow, only falling into the brothers' trap as he failed to resist asking,
"What are you two going on about now?"
"Ah, you wouldn't understand Shadow. You're too much of a lone wolf."
Sonic told him, Manic nodding and adding,
"Yeah, he'd be too scared to try it anyway. Who woulda thought the 'Ultimate Life Form' could be such a coward?"
"Yeah, I mean he's afraid of cows and little old ladies..."
"Fine! Whatever it is, I'll do it! If nor nothing else than to prove that I'm no coward!"
Shadow finally bellowed at them in frustration. The brothers simply smirked at one another. Shadow had fallen for their taunts hook, line and sinker.
"You want me to what?"
Shadow asked with a quirked eyebrow sometime later as he, Sonic and Manic stood outside an apartment.
"We need you to Chaos Control us in!"
Manic whispered, gesturing to the apartment as Sonic reached into his quills and pulled out a Chaos Emerald, handing it to Shadow as he added,
"Yeah, its a lot quicker and quieter than Manic picking the lock!"
Shadow sighed in exasperation, having to contemplate this for a moment. Technically they would be breaking and entering, but he figured they would just pull some childish prank at worst. Worst case scenario, he could chaos control out before getting I.D.'d and leave the brothers to rightfully take the heat.
Hmmm, now THERE was an idea. If they got caught and punished by the apartment's dweller, it would serve them right. Shadow smirked.
"All right, let's do it."
He said, holding up the Chaos Emerald.
"Chaos... Control!"
In a flash of green light, the trio suddenly found themselves inside the apartment. Sonic smirked.
"Great job Shadow! C'mon Manic!"
With that, the two brothers snuck their way into the bedroom, Shadow following in curiosity of what they were going to do as he wondered where the apartment's occupant was.
He watched as the brothers went to a nearby dresser and slid the drawer open as silently as possible.
"All right! Score!"
Sonic whispered in an entertained tone as he reached into the drawer and pulled out what appeared in the moonlight to be a pair of military camouflage panties.
"Woo, PG-13!"
Manic mused as he pulled out a matching camouflage camisole. Shadow couldn't help but sweatdrop as he watched the two in all their childlike wonder as they went through the drawer of ladies' underthings.
"THIS is why you two wanted me to get you in here?! A panty raid?!"
Sonic sweatdropped, looking at Shadow indignantly as he ushered,
"Pipe down Shadow, or you might... !"
He was suddenly cut off as the bedroom light flipped on, a very perturbed blonde hedgehog woman glaring at them icily from the door.
"Sonic?! Manic?! How'd you two get in here again?! And why the **** is Shadow with you?!"
She screeched, Sonic surprisingly looking terrified of her as he yelled,
"We've been I.D.'d! RUN!"
He and Manic made a break for the nearby window, but were cut off as the hedgehog woman suddenly ran afront them, as if having anticipated their moves as she held out her arms stiffly to either side. The brothers ran out from under themselves as they made contact, slamming flat of their backs against the floor. The woman smirked in satisfaction before turning to Shadow.
"Your turn, fake highlights."
She said, her tone surprisingly chilling. Not wanting to find out what torture the blonde had in store for him, Shadow pulled out his Chaos Emerald... only to have it swiftly kicked from his hand.
"No no, Shadow. You have to be punished, just like the other naughty boys."
She said with an almost satanic smirk.
"So... what is this, time out?"
Manic asked a while later as he, Sonic and Shadow found themselves tightly tied, bound, chained and every other imaginable form of restraint to a trio of chairs in a dark, back room.
"I know man. I'd've thought Sakura woulda done something way more diabolical and torturous to us."
Sonic agreed, Shadow glaring at them both indignantly as he said with a tempered tone,
"Just shut up, both of you. I don't even belong here. I didn't even know what you two were going to do, let alone did I..."
Shadow was cut off as the door opened, the light that was let in blinding due to the fact that their eyes had already adjusted to the darkness of the room. Sakura shoved a large wooden box into the room that barely fit through the door.
"Well, since you boys seem to like girls enough that you steal their delicates, I went on E-Bay and bought you some."
She said, that devilish smirk coming across her face again. By now, the hedgehogs' eyes had adjusted to the light and they could clearly read the text on the box which read,
"ACME Fangirls"
"... Oh spork..."
Sonic muttered, a look of pure terror flashing across his face as Sakura began to pry the box open with a crowbar...
Several hours later, the three hedgehogs laid on the floor in exhaustion from all the cuddling, kissing, etc. that the fangirls had tortured them with. Sakura looked down at the three hedgehogs in satisfaction as she said,
"Looks like you boys learned your lesson. If not, here's fair warning: NEXT time I'll use Sonadow fangirls."
With that, she quietly strode out of the room to let the hedgies rest, Sonic sweatdropping and looking to Manic as he said,
"Okay, next time we go to Amy's for our panty raid..."
That only earned him a good, hard and well deserved smack to the back of the head from Shadow.
The End