Apple or Cherry?
Part A (1/3)
By: Tenshi no Nozomi
(tenshi_no_nozomi@hotmail.com)
Disclaimer:
Now, what did everybody's mommy and daddy teach them when they were five? To
share with others. I'm merely 'borrowing' these characters, and I should be returning
them in good condition. I hope so, anyhow.
Author's Blurb:
I swore to myself that I would not get sucked into this genre because I feel
that many authors do not attempt to find originality in it. This is not true in
all cases (please, no one be insulted by this!), but in the majority... It's
like a repeat of when GW/SM was so popular. I hope that to some degree this
isn't just a repeat of everything you've already heard/seen/read.
I wonder how well this will do, though. It is just a one-shot, after all…
mostly fluff, probably no or little plot. It should be interesting, though.
Thoughts are in italics, stressed words in bold. This fic has been split up
into three sections to make it easier reading, and each part will be released
separately. No, I'm not mean enough to leave you hanging for forever. Just
for a little while. ^.~ (It's been a long time since I've tried one like
this... Not since 'Forbidden.' ^^)
Also... Usagi may seem a bit shallow in this fic, but she's really not. I just
have a hard time expressing the extent of her disappointment and pain.
Warnings:
Fluff/Waff, slight angst, possible character OOC-ness, mild violence,
3-part one-shot.
Pairings:
Usagi + Sirius, mentioned Lily + James
Thanks to:
Usa-chan for beta-reading all of this for me! Doomo arigato for all of your
advice and help! This probably wouldn't have turned out so well without you.
****
Usagi smiled down happily at the pie she held in her hands. The crust had baked
perfectly, turning to a rich, golden color, and Usagi was sure that it would
taste pleasant and flaky. From between the carefully laid crosses of the
strips, she could see the syrupy inside that she'd labored so hard in making.
The aroma made her mouth water in anticipation, and it was almost a disappointment
that she would not be the one to eat it.
Because these pies had been specifically made to be given to the one you loved
most. That had been the whole point in working so hard on it; to make it
desirable to eat, to present her best. The purpose of the pies was, after all,
to draw the person who ingested it- hopefully, the one you loved- to you.
Of course, it wasn't a real aphrodisiac. The teachers would never have
taught that kind of thing to the students. But it was a current fade amongst
young girls, and it was certainly a cute idea.
Usagi sat back on her stool, and thought about it for a while the rest of the
class talked excitedly. As might be expected, the class was mainly made up of
girls, but that was all right. Boys generally didn't want to learn how to cook
and make spells at once.
She would have to figure out a spell to keep the pie from going bad since there
wasn't a freezer in this place. It was still a few weeks till she planned to
give it to him, and there was very little doubt in her mind that he would be
receiving at least a dozen other pies, so…
The thing was, the boy she liked so much was liked by almost every other girl
in the school. He was incredibly handsome, a bit of a trouble-maker, and one of
the most popular and well-liked guys in the school. So he'd probably be
receiving so many pies that he wouldn't know what to do with them.
It would be best to wait till everyone was 'pie-less,' and when perhaps she
might have a better chance of him accepting. Hopefully, he wouldn't be
disgusted by pies by that time.
It would be nice to have her love returned, she thought to herself. She smiled
a little, wondering what she might do if, as though out of her wildest dreams,
he accepted her confession. That was too good to be true, she tried to tell
herself, to deny herself the fancy that something might be able to work out
before she got her hopes up.
The bell chimed for passing period, and almost as one, all of the students
rose. A few had already sampled their pies- some of which had been dumped in
the waste basket after they'd found their attempt at cooking to be a failure.
Clutching her pie close to her chest, Usagi carefully skirted through the
crowded halls, taking extra care not to get too close to anyone else. Such a
simple thing meant so much to her, was a symbol of her progress and of her
trials.
It wasn't easy being one of the few non-European witches around. Hogwarts was a
fairly elite school of wizardry, and only those with the highest potential were
invited. Most of the invitees were from Europe, though on the occasion there
would be a witch or wizard from Asia or the Americas. Usagi had had to work
hard to develop her skills especially in subjects that came hardest to her in
order to get in.
Her own mother had dreamed as a girl growing up of going to Hogwarts when she
came of age to go off. Although there were a few nice wizarding schools in
Asia, it just hadn't been the same for her mother. The grandeur of a far-away
place had been as alluring to her as some cloying perfume.
Unfortunately, her mother had not been accepted. She had not studied hard
enough in English, had not honed her skills to their finest potential despite
her will to go only to Hogwarts. So she went off willingly- though unhappily-
to a nice wizarding school in Asia- nowhere nearly as famous as Hogwarts but albeit
nice.
It was there that her mother had met her father, though at the time they had
not gotten along too well. In the end, around the age of twenty eight or so,
they had gotten married. A few years later, they gave birth to their first
child- Usagi.
It was about that time that her mother's latent obsession to get into Hogwarts
was revived. The woman who had failed to get in and give herself the best
possible future for herself saw a chance at redemption in her daughter. Even if
she herself could not make it, if she trained her daughter rigorously enough...
then she might make it in her place.
So Usagi had 'trained.' As soon she had learned to talk, her mother was
teaching her spells and how to correctly pronounce the words. When she turned
five her mother began a rigorous session of potion lessons that lasted several
hours every Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday night that had not let up until she
had actually gotten into Hogwarts. All the while her mother was constantly
testing her for specialties and capabilities, fussing over this and that.
It had been difficult, juggling her life of witchcraft and muggle appearances.
In the mornings and throughout the afternoons she was a normal, everyday muggle
student who struggled through her subjects. In the evening and into the night,
she had trained laboriously to better her skills.
There were only a few subjects her mother worried over her about getting good
at. The first was math, so that she might now how to take measurements and the
like in later years- in that aspect she had been taught and reviewed over
moderately. Learning the English language had been something her mother was a stickler
on. She had hired tutors, practiced diligently, and constantly had her study in
order for her to understand it as though it were her own native language. At
one point she had even demanded that Usagi speak only in English for a month
(even though it had really only lasted about a week). But her mother had been
quite adamant about making sure that Usagi wasn't inferior to any of the other
candidates in doing so.
In the end, though, it had all paid off. The day her invitation to Hogwarts
came in was probably just about the best one of her life. Her parents had never
been more proud of her. Not to mention that it was the only thing she'd ever
cooked that had come out both looking and smelling good at the same time, and
having any hope of actually being so.
And-
Usagi's thoughts were interrupted abruptly and rudely by a sudden and unforeseen
force slamming into her. The wind was knocked out of her, and she was sent
sprawling towards the ground with the same force that had run into her landing
on top of her.
That wasn't the worst part, though. When the person or thing- or whatever it
had been- had bumped into her, they had managed to jar her arms upward. She had
been clutching the pie tightly so as not to drop it, but hadn't expected for
the outcome to end up worse than that possibility.
Slowly, Usagi extricated what was left of her pie from her face, and looked
down at the ruined desert. Shock gripped her mind as she tried to make out what
had happened. The remains of her pie smothered both her face and haphazardly
remained in the tin, dark red goop smeared all over her face with bits of
crust.
The sound of sniggers and laughter brought her back out of her stricken state
of mind. Usagi slowly looked up, and felt a little bit of the jelly drip off of
her face. Slowly, she looked around at the people around her. From her position
on the floor, they all looked like mountains, gaping down at her in her moment
of misfortune.
So many strangers... a sea of people that she didn't know. A few were laughing
or sniggering, pointing at her like she was some kind of freak side show attraction
in a carnival. Some looked at her with shock or pity in their eyes; sometimes a
mixture of both.
Still, no one moved forward to help her.
The sudden sound of raucous laughter drew her attention away from the
whispering crowd that had gathered. She was greeted to the sight of two boys
laughing so hard that they had to use each other as support to keep from
falling all over themselves.
She recognized them vaguely as two Slytherins, Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape.
She knew because she shared potions with the two, and Severus and Lucius were
partners, best friends, and perfect in that class. Severus himself had a bit of
crust and goop on the back of his robes and in his hair, but if he noticed he
didn't seem to mind.
"Ah, ah ha! What a wonderful thing to do to one of your own House members,
Black," crowed Lucius maliciously between fits of laughter. His cruel eyes
bore down on her again before breaking into a fresh peal of laughter.
"Don't worry about it, you stupid foreigner- thanks to Black here, you've
found a better look!"
Usagi turned her gaze, and saw none other than Sirius Black. It was obvious
that before he had been fighting from the position he was in, but he now looked
uncertain. Usagi's eyes locked with his, and she could see clearly in his eyes
that this whole situation had been a mistake.
And yet, a small grin was helplessly creeping up on his face, despite how hard
he was fighting it. Usagi's eyes widened, and for a moment she couldn't
breathe. You, too, of all people... You want to laugh at me, too? Am I so
pathetic...?
Usagi's face burned with shame, and her eyes stung with a burning sensation as
tears of humiliation slowly welled up. This was like something from her most
mortifying nightmares, only she wouldn't wake up to find that it wasn't real.
Usagi fought off the tears, but it was to no avail. Hot, salty tears beaded up
and rolled down her jelly-covered cheeks, spilling and running like tiny rivers
over mounds of cherry-flavored syrup chunks. Low sobs slowly fought their way
out of her chest and up her throat, turning into a pitiful, mournful, wailing
sound.
How strangely ironic it was that her most important thing had been destroyed
utterly. With only one look, one gesture, this boy had managed to break her
heart. By laughing at her... by destroying the very pie that she had intended
to give to him... Oh, the irony!
Further humiliated by this emotional display, Usagi covered her gooey face with
her hands, trying to hide what little she could. She had no dignity in front of
these people, no composure, and she felt wounded.
Have you changed? The Sirius I met those years about wouldn't have
laughed..., she wondered miserably. She felt crushed, as though her heart
had ended up more splattered than her pie.
"What is going on here," demanded a sharp old voice that could belong
to none other than Professor McGonagall. The crowd that had formed quickly
parted to let the elder woman through, and some even began to leave, recognizing
that the show was over.
Usagi continued to cry, unable to face anyone. Her face was wrenched up out of
her hands by a firm grip on her chin. Usagi was amazed the strength behind
those frail looking hands. She looked up at the professor in shock, teary eyes
staring straight into the older woman's eyes without ever really seeing her.
The sobs that she had been emitting had trailed off to a low keening sound, and
the tears momentarily slowed to a stop. She sniffled miserably, trying to get a
hold of herself.
"Who here is responsible for this," Professor McGonagall boomed out,
sounding like a crash of thunder embodied into a woman's voice. Usagi couldn't
help but be further amazed and in awe of the woman in front of her, and gaped
up at her stupidly.
The sharp-eyed, quick-witted woman looked around, and spotted the three
culprits easily. "Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Snape, and Mr. Black," she
pronounced, slowly going over their names and watching each boy stiffen in
turn. Professor McGonagall was well known for losing her temper over little
things, but somehow the feeling permeated in the air that she would not just
'let them go' after publicly humiliating one of her students.
"Why am I not surprised," the woman asked, sounding tired. Maybe it
was because this was the fifth time she'd caught them fighting in the halls-
never mind the number of times they'd assaulted each other with magic- and the
second time they'd caught some innocent by-stander up into their fight.
"This will no longer be tolerated," the woman snapped, eyes flashing.
"Please report to the Headmaster's office."
The boys looked and sounded ready protest, when the sound of Usagi's wailings
slowly began to work up again.
After having caught sight of her pie tin and what was left of all her dreams
and hard work, a feeling of pure depression had overwhelmed her like a wave
from the sea. She had been powerless to stop it, and had been swept up under it
easily.
Usagi couldn't help but feel that her misery was worsening under their eyes and
scrutiny. She could feel Severus's and Lucius's twin beams of disgust and
hatred boring down on her, McGonagall's pity, and Sirius's blank stare.
Please... please just go away. Don't look at me, she begged, crying
again. She was ashamed of her behavior- crying like a child when she hadn't
really even been hurt.
The truth was, though, that despite the lack of physical wounds, there was a
fresh one being branded on her heart. It was the symbolism of her short-comings
in her life, brought to her by a single blow.
Usagi found herself being dragged to her feet and walked down the hall to Madam
Pompfrey's office. No doubt they would be looking for physical injuries, and
would clean up her face and the like. But nothing they could say or do would
help.
She left behind the forgotten tin pan to be discarded by Filch or trampled on
by other students, placidly allowing herself to be led to the nurse's office.
I cannot be healed....
**
The short meeting in the Headmaster's office had been awkward. Professor McGonagall
was still steamed about their behavior- alienating a fellow student, brawling
in the hallways like muggle heathen-children, and not even having the decency
to apologize for their actions.
Maybe, if it weren't for their past problems, things wouldn't have been so bad.
But as it was, they had a record of fighting and making trouble, and the
situation with the Gryffindor girl didn't help at all. In the end, they were
given a week's worth of detention with Filch, of all people, and had been
ordered to apologize to the girl.
Sirius was certain that Dumbledoor had let them off so lightly because he knew
that getting the girl mixed up in that had been an accident. Still, the
reproving look in the wise, old man's eyes was enough to make him feel properly
ashamed.
On his way out and to the common room, he was assaulted by his guilty
conscious. You could have at least helped her up. Making a girl cry like
that... what kind of a person are you? And nearly laughing at her? You're
almost as bad as Snape.
Sirius frowned at that. He, as bad as Snape? His mortal enemy? If that were true,
he'd have to drown himself in the shower room that night. Honestly, though, it
wasn't like he'd meant to do that to her. If only she hadn't gotten in the
way...
She did look pretty funny, though, he couldn't help but admit to
himself. That heart-shaped face covered in dark red-purple sauce, wide blue
eyes staring up at him unblinkingly...
"So how bad is it," James asked, loping up to him. He looked a bit
concerned, but not overly so. Behind him came the rest of the Marauders, with
Lily, of course. Ever since James had started going out with her, she'd been
quite adamant about tagging along with them. A pretty pushy girl, really.
"I got a week's worth of detention with Filch," he complained to his
friends. James winced visibly in sympathy.
"Are you going to be able to survive that," Peter asked, sounding
more than a bit skeptical. Sirius only shrugged in return, as though to say he
had no idea.
"I think you deserved that, and more," Lily declared loudly, throwing
her own two-cents in.
Sirius's eyes narrowed. Of course she would; for some reason, Lily always found
a reason to pick on him. "Is that so?"
"Yes, 'that is so,'" she retorted at him rather brusquely, mocking
his words with a falsely deep voice. "Didn't you see that look on her
face? You humiliated her in front of a bunch of people that she didn't even
know, plus Slytherin scum!"
By now, Lily was pointing at him and working up to a yell. "If it weren't
for your obsession with trying to make Snape miserable, she wouldn't have had
to go through that. On top of that, you didn't even help her up or offer an
apology!"
Sirius grumbled and sighed. "Yeah, well, I've got what I earned, happy?
And I have to apologize to her... Dumbledoor said so," he said, sounding
annoyed. "Though undoubtedly those Slytherins won't..."
"Well, then. If you have to apologize, then here's your chance," Lily
pointed out, sounding pleased with herself. "She's right there," she
said, pointing.
Sirius turned to look, and sure enough... it was her. Or at least he assumed it
to be her- no one else would ever wear their hair in a style like that. She
certainly stood out from the crowd.
Before Sirius could protest or make an excuse, Lily pushed/dragged him over to
the smaller girl.
On closer inspection, Sirius could see what she looked like. She had delicate
features, golden-peach skin, and wide blue eyes. Those same eyes that were so
expressive were currently red-rimmed from crying, and Sirius felt another flash
of guilt.
I made her cry... She looked at me with eyes that begged me to help her, to
deny what they said... but I just stood there.
But why did he care, anyhow? Sure, what he'd done was wrong, but he accepted
that and was willing to try and make up for it. For some reason, though, he
couldn't help but take it a bit more personally than that.
Her image clicked in his head, and he recognized her as a girl he had once
helped. She had been a first year to his second, and had gotten lost on the
stairs when they'd shifted. When he'd come across her, she'd been a sniveling,
red-rim-eyed, snot-nose mess.
He had helped her to find her way, though it took a good while- there was a
reason why she was so lost; that floor was like a labyrinth. By the time they'd
reached her destination, she was severely late but had brightened up
considerably. He had been surprised by how cute she was when she wasn't crying,
and just how pretty she really became when she smiled...
That smile... I would like to see that smile again...
Suddenly faced with having to apologize, Sirius realized he was in trouble.
This had never been something he'd been good at. Sirius had a lot of pride, so
it was hard to swallow. But if he didn't do it now- and correctly, to boot-
Lily would never let him live it down.
**
Usagi felt emotionally and physically drained of energy. Crying always did that
to her, along with making her look like a wreck who'd just had some kind of
emotional breakdown. All she wanted to do now was go to sleep...
"Oh, oh!" One of the girls nearby excitedly whispered to her friends,
having seen something of great interest to her. "Look who's coming this
way," the excited girl squealed, accompanied by the echoed squeals of her
friends.
Usagi rubbed he temples, trying to fight off the building headache that was
causing her to feel more than a little snappish. Can't you just be quiet,
she wondered to herself?
A sudden shadow overcame her, and Usagi was startled out of her thoughts. Usagi
looked up from where she was sitting to see a rather familiar face.
Sirius Black stood in front of her, only this time he wasn't laughing. Instead
he looked rather uneasy, and there was a guilty look on his face.
The girl behind him gave a nudge, as though to try and cue him, but either he
was stubborn or not paying attention because he didn't do or say anything. The
girl gave her a look as though to say, Why do I bother?, which Usagi could
understand since all men were, undoubtedly, helpless. (1)
Usagi stood up, brushing imaginary dust off of her robes. The court yard had
grown quiet over the past few minutes, as though they were expecting a show.
This isn't a soap opera, you nosy gits, she snarled mentally at them, bad mood
doubling with this new twist.
"Can I help you," she finally asked, breaking the tension and
bringing him back to reality.
"Ah, uhm... I'm, uhm... Er, that is... I... I'm sorry about earlier,"
he blurted uneasily, stumbling over his words.
Usagi blinked at his declaration, which had been almost shouted, as though he
had been choking over the words and that was the only way he could get them
out. She looked at him dumbfounded, and uncertain if she should trust him.
Earlier in the bathroom while washing the remnants of her dessert off of her
face, Usagi had come to the rather bitter conclusion that maybe Sirius wasn't
such a great person after all. It hadn't been something that had been easy for
her to try and think about- for the past four years she'd had a steady,
mounting crush on the older boy.
It was built partially out of adoration, thankfulness for the kindness he'd
shown her once, and the image he put out. She had realized then, while blowing
her nose on a paper towel, that she didn't really know the 'real' Sirius Black.
I don't know what to make of you, she sighed to herself. One moment
you seem like a really nice person, and the next you're kicking me while I'm
down.
He was still stumbling on, trying to find the right words to apologize to her.
Usagi smiled just a little bit, eyes softening. He was probably just a really
nice guy that hadn't meant to cause her any trouble. She could see now that he
was sincere... So she might as well give him mercy.
"It's alrig-" Usagi began to say, an obtuse lie. It wasn't okay,
because he'd made her feel miserable. And it wasn't alright because she didn't
know how she was going to confess her love to him now. Above even that was the
fact that the Slytherins would never let her live it down.
But it was okay, because he was trying to apologize, to be a nice person. In
her eyes, he was rectifying himself. So it was a bit of a shame when he went
and ruined it.
"But, you know, it kind of was your fault," he blurted out.
Usagi's eyes widened considerably, and her mouth parted in a small 'o' shape.
"Wh-what," she sputtered out, confused. One moment he was apologizing
and sounding tremendously guilty... And the next he was blaming her? What on
earth...?
"Well, you know... I mean, you shouldn't have been walking around with
food in the halls. It's kind of like asking for trouble. Not to mention that
you got in the way."
Usagi felt the shock beginning to wear off, and a deep sense of self-righteous
anger began to churn through her blood. Her fists clenched; who the hell was he
to tell her that the whole fiasco was her fault? She hadn't been the one
fighting in the hallway!
"Oh, really," she asked, her voice soft but cold, steely, and hard.
Usagi's eyes had narrowed. Dig your grave deeper, buddy. I dare you.
"Well, yeah... I mean... If you hadn't shown up, I could have pummeled
both Lucius and Severus. And I wouldn't have gotten caught by McGonagall, and
that means I wouldn't have to serve detention with Filch with those two
for a week!" (1)
In any other situation, she would have felt sorry for him. But at the moment,
the only thing she could feel towards him was a mounting fury accompanied by
humiliation. How could you. How could you hurt me like this twice in one
day?
Usagi's eyes remained narrow, and the air around her had taken a plummet in
degrees. Her aura was flashing off a dangerous red around her, enveloping her
like bloody halo.
Lily herself had backed a few feet away from Sirius as it was. She had tried to
warn Sirius of his mistake, but he wasn't listening anymore. Instead, he was
prattling on about how the whole situation was her fault, which even he knew
wasn't true.
Why did I ever think you were a kind person... What did I see in you,
Usagi asked herself, feeling almost betrayed. She would rather have remained
watching him from afar, unknowing of just what kind of person he really was
than to have all of her romantic dreams crushed in such a cruel way.
I thought you were someone I could trust and love...
"...You have to admit, though... It was kind of funny, seeing you with
that pie on your face."
Usagi snapped about then. She couldn't help but feel disappointed and confused
by what she was face with. The boy in front of her was acting exactly opposite
to her than he had when they'd first met.
Then, his face had been so kind... He had joked with her, entertained her,
helped her find her way back even though it meant he was missing his own class.
Why was he being this way...
You're not the person I thought you were.
Usagi's hand moved swiftly through the air, as though it had a mind of its own.
It connected with the unprepared Sirius Black's cheek with a loud snapping
sound that echoed easily through the silent area.
Usagi, who generally didn't think much of violence, and had never hit anyone
before slapped Sirius hard enough to make the boy's head turn with its force.
Shooting pain sprung up from the skin where her hand had met his cheek. Already
a red imprint made by her hand adorned his cheek, and Usagi hoped that his
cheek hurt as much as her hand did.
Cradling her throbbing hand, Usagi began to cry for the third time that day,
under the guise that her hand was causing her pain rather than her heart.
I really loved you...
"You stupid, insensitive, conceited jerk," she cried, her loud,
normally-sweet voice shouted clearly over the intense silence. "Just who
do you think you are," she demanded, advancing on him, jabbing her finger
at his chest.
In his stupor, Sirius only backed away, gaping at the girl who had suddenly
changed faces on him. Before him stood a girl who could give Lily a run for her
money in her worst temper tantrums, and her wrath was currently fixed on him.
As suddenly as she turned on him, she whipped around and began to walk away.
She grabbed her bag and headed off.
I just wanted for you to return my love...
"Someone like you isn't worth my time," she tossed over her shoulder stoically,
trying to hide her tears. Inside, something felt like it was being slowly and
painfully being ripped to pieces. Every word drove a blade through her heart,
hurt her further...
Because she was confessing a truth about him that she had wanted anything but
to accept.
Stupid gits... you got your show. Are you happy?
****
(1) -- By 'those two,' Sirius is referring to both Severus and Lucius,
although Mrs. Norris and Filch probably aren't that high up on their list,
either... ^.~
Also! There's just a little thing I'd like to say. Reviews would make me very, very happy. There's only a very small fraction of Sirius x Usagi stories out there, at least compared to all of the Draco x Usagi and Harry x Usagi. So, anyhow, this is my request: If you enjoy what you read here, say so! Even better, contribute a piece of your own! And go read 'That was then, this is now' by Elissa-Dido and 'Mrs. Sirius Black' by Serenity. Just remember to please be polite when you review to anyone- being mean or cursing at them just upsets people and makes them resentful. ^^
Be on the lookout for Part B (or 2, whatever) in the future!
Fin for Part A