This is my first fanfic - please R&R. Would love to hear what people think of it - be harsh, be critical. Feedback is love !
Disclaimer: I don't own or have any claim to the characters or story of Moonlight - learning to live with this one day at a time...


Space Between Them

Raising her hand to knock on Mick St John's door, Beth hesitated. It had been nearly three weeks since Josh had died, since she'd seen or spoken to Mick. That night in her apartment, when Mick had tried to explain why he couldn't turn Josh, she had refused to listen. Mick had called her since but she had ignored his calls, and after the first week he had stopped calling. Feeling a flare of guilt for pushing him away, she hoped he would understand she had needed time alone. Scared that Mick wouldn't want to see her, she knocked.

Hearing the knock on his door, Mick ran his hands through his shower damp hair and slipped on a shirt. Josef had said that he would be stopping by tonight but Mick was surprised that he had arrived this early in the evening. Moving to open the door he saw Beth on the security monitor and stopped short.

Mick had never wanted Beth out of his life, but he knew that she would be safer away from him. When she hadn't returned his calls, he'd assumed that she had finally decided he was right, that she was better off without him. He had tried to convince himself that he wanted the distance between them, that he could be satisfied being her secret protector again, unseen in the shadows. Watching her now, Mick realised that there was no denying how much he had missed her.

Beth closed her eyes and silently told herself to get a grip as she felt hot tears sliding down her face. Angrily wiping them away she knocked again. As the minutes passed Beth realised she was wasting her time and turned to go. Watching her Mick had been prepared to let her leave until he saw her tears. He hated seeing her suffer like this, and hated himself for letting her suffer alone. As she started down the hall Mick, cursing himself as a weak-willed fool, opened the door.

Hearing the sound behind her Beth stopped. "Beth?" Turning she saw him framed in the doorway and her pulse quickened. Mick's voice was soft. "Would you like to come in?"

Not trusting herself to speak Beth nodded and let Mick usher her into his apartment. As she walked past he inhaled deeply and closed his eyes, revelling in her scent. The vanilla of her skin blended with the jasmine from her soap intoxicated him, reminding him of sunny days and warm spring nights, and a small smile played across his lips. Hearing Beth taking off her coat and taking a seat on the couch he realised he was still standing by the open door, and closed it quickly. Glancing sheepishly towards her Mick was relieved to see that she was unaware of the effect she had on him. He watched her nervously fiddle with her coat as he crossed the room and sat, legs crossed, in the chair opposite her.

"I hope it's ok that I came see you." Beth began. Mick gave her a small reassuring smile and she continued. "I need to talk to you about what happened…" Voice trailing off she looked at Mick willing him to say something to make this easier.

Letting our out a long, slow breath, Mick locked his eyes on her's "I know you're angry that I wouldn't turn Josh. I know you think that by turning him I could have saved him." Looking away, he said quietly "I know you loved him." Hearing the tightness in his voice Beth realised for the first time just how much that admission hurt him. Leaning forward Mick dropped his gaze to the floor. Slowly shaking his head he said "I couldn't do it Beth."

"I understand, I get why you couldn't…" Mick looked up, surprised, and Beth saw the hope in his eyes that she did understand why he had refused her, that she had forgiven him. Not for the first time she mentally berated herself for punishing Mick for what had happened. "I never should have asked you to turn him. You didn't have the right to make that kind of decision for him." she said. "And neither did I."

Mick gave her a sad half-smile. "I am sorry." Beth nodded her acceptance and they both relaxed, falling into a companionable silence.

Sinking back into his chair Mick considered the woman sitting opposite him. It was hard for him not to smile openly knowing that their relationship, whatever it was, wouldn't be coming to an end. Beth began fiddling with her coat again and Mick frowned, knowing from her expression that he wasn't going to like what she still had to say. A cold fear settled over him that maybe he had assumed too much. Tentatively he asked "Beth, what's wrong?"

Beth took a deep breath and looked away, refusing to meet Mick's eyes, suddenly not sure that she could ask the question that had brought her to his apartment. Eventually she spoke "I want to talk to you about Tejada. Carl told me about… how he died." She paused, summoning the courage to look Mick in the eyes she asked "Did you do it? Did you kill him?"

Taken aback Mick didn't know how to respond. He had never occurred to him that Beth might find out about his visit to Tejada, or what he would tell her if she did. "He's dead. What more do you want?"

Beth was surprised by his curt reply, but unwilling to back down. "I want answers."

"You always do"

Beth was stunned by the bitterness of his words. Before she could think what to say Mick got to his feet and disappeared into the kitchen. Following, she found him leaning on the counter with his back to her. "It was you, wasn't it?" Seeing Mick's knuckles whiten as he gripped the counter top was all the answer she needed. "Why?"

Mick's shoulders slumped and it was some time before he answered, so quietly she almost didn't hear him "Because he hurt you."

"So you killed him?"

"Yes." Mick answered, remembering how he had cornered Tejada, the feel of teeth puncturing skin, the hot rush of blood into his mouth. At the time the vampire in him knew that with someone like Tejada, blood vengeance was the only option. But now, with a very human Beth standing behind him, Mick wasn't so sure.

"You want answers?" Mick asked as he slowly turned to face her. His eyes were the blue-white of glaciers and Beth could see the tips of his fangs when his lips parted. "This is what I am, Beth." He said simply. "I hunted him and I killed him." Mick stepped closer, not taking his eyes off her's. "You would never believe that I'm a monster – now you know just how much of a monster I can be." Mick couldn't decipher Beth's expression, whether it was horror or disgust or something else. Seeing the look on her face he turned his back to her again and said in a strangled voice "Please leave."

The way Mick spoke was the same as when Beth had first seen him as a vampire, when he had believed that she would not be able to accept who and what he was. Hearing that same pain in his voice Beth knew he was shutting her out again and for a moment she couldn't think what to say. Finally Beth managed to stammer "No. I -" before Mick turned to face her again.

"Leave."

The quiet finality of that one word was like a slap to the face. Unable to speak Beth turned away and made her way across the apartment, tears blurring her vision. Walking out Mick's door she was confronted by Josef stepping out of the elevator. Without a word Beth walked passed him as he held the doors open for her.

Joseph watched Beth as the elevator doors slid shut, then turned and walked slowly down the hall. Letting himself in, he found Mick in the kitchen, still slumped against the counter. "So" Joseph said, smirking. "Did I miss playtime?"

TBC