JUST ANOTHER DAY AT STARGATE COMMAND
Sam was running down the corridor at the SGC. 'General, we've had a breech, some Replicators have managed to get the gate on PCX 19377 and are on their way here."
"Ah, jeez, can't we ever get rid of those things?"
They ran back towards the gate room. Sam headed for the control room when they got there.
Since they didn't take time to get weapons from the armory Jack was looking around for something to use as one. He spotted the fire hose against the wall and thought.."oh, what the hey, (this is the G rated version, so no expletives) any port in a storm.
Sam came back to the gate room with a handful of magnets. "Carter, couldn't you find something more useful? Like a gun of some type?"
No, Sir I couldn't. I found these in the gate spare parts locker. I thought maybe they might interfere with the Replicators internal guidance systems and cause a triangulated loop in their centrifical bypass circuits…"
"Carter! English Please!…Oh, never mind! Here they come!"
The armed airmen in the gate room waited for Jacks signal to start firing on the Replicators. Just then the gate opened and they started to come in. At first there weren't very many of them, which surprised him.
He gave the signal and the airmen started to shoot and Sam started throwing the magnets at them.
The Replicators started getting stuck to the magnets and piling up on top of each other. Before long the pile started to take the shape of a …1957 Studebaker??? Everybody was so surprised that they stopped their shooting.
Jack was dumbfounded….not that that was so extraordinary. "I always wanted one of those" he said as if he was thinking out loud.
Before he realized what he was doing he had turned on the fire hose and was pouring water over the top of the "Stude-Replicator". It began to rust and within a couple of minutes had tuned to a pile of rust dust.
Jack looked at Sam. "What the heck made that happen?"
Well, sir the magnetic interface caused an artificial age progression in their hyper transmogrifier and then their internal dipsological programming sent signals to …
Carter! English Please!