The Flying Car

by Flame Swordsman

Traffic makes people say some crazy things. Bonnie X Zita. COMPLETE.

Bonnie Rockwaller and Zita Flores are having one hell of a ride. They are stuck on the New Jersey Turnpike stuck in near standstill traffic on their way to meet their boyfriends in Secaucus at the anime convention there. Bonnie was enjoying the silent ride until….

'Sometimes I truly think we were lied to by the Jetsons,' Zita blurts out.

'What are you talking about?'

'According to that show, we should be tooling around in flying cars by now. That's the problem with TV now, it always lies to us.'

'Well most of us rational thinkers try not to take the context of a television show and apply it to the real world.'

'I gotta believe someone out there is thinking about the flying car other than me. Some one who isn't afraid to throw their hat over the wall for the good of man kind.'

Wanting to see where this is going, Bonnie adds: 'What is that supposed to mean?'

'What?'

'"Throw their hat over the wall."'

'It means committing to doing something. I'm telling you B, if more people threw their hats over the wall, we wouldn't be sitting in this traffic right now, we'd be zooming over it in the flying car.'

'I see you have given this a lot of thought.'

'JFK! John F. Kennedy himself! He promised a man on the moon in ten years. What's funny is that he had no insight on how to get it done, and definitely no information on the practicality of space travel. But you know what he did have?'

'Marilyn Monroe,' Bonnie said cutting Zita off.

'He had a sack of steel. He had enough balls to go up to the world and say "get this we'll be on the moon in ten years." Wouldn't be funny if we had the balls to say "get this: we'll all be in the flying car by the end of the year."'

'You know you have a one tracked mind.'

Zita, who already having fun with this, decides to go on with her conversation. 'Bonnie, what would you do for the flying car?'

'What do you mean,' Bonnie says warily.

'Say some German scientist comes up to you one day and says "I have invented the flying car! I will give it t you on one condition."'

'Well what's the condition?'

'He's not going to tell you.'

'Then it's no deal!'

'Bonnie this is for the flying car!'

'Not until I know what's the catch.'

'Fine. You have to cut off a foot.'

'You're out of your rabid ass mind!'

'What's wrong with that?'

'I'm not cutting off my foot for the flying car! You can kiss that deal goodbye. Besides, how am I supposed to walk?'

'Come on B, this is for the flying car! Hell you can sell the design secrets to the car companies and be a multi billionaire. After that you can buy like fifty prosthetic feet.'

Bonnie bites. 'Which foot: right or left?'

'Your choice.'

'Ok I'll trade my left foot for the flying car.'

'Why your left foot?'

'It has an ingrown toenail.'

'Look at you! Someone offers you the fire from Olympus which is the flying car, and you trade him a bum foot?'

'You said I could pick!'

'So it's a deal. You foot for the flying car. You sure?'

'Yes I'm sure.'

'You can't back out.'

'I won't back out.'

'Because the whole world is counting on you.'

'Why the whole world all of the sudden?'

'Because the scientist held a press conference when he made you the offer. He said that when the deal is finished, you can do whatever you want with it, INCLUDING mass market an affordable model for consumer purchase.'

'What kind of sick demented bastard is this anyway?'

'One with a lot of free time on his hands….and a foot fetish. So you're still in?'

'Yeessss.'

'Alright, so then you find out that he's going to take it off with a hacksaw…'

'WHAT!'

'And no antiseptics.'

'That's it. Deal's off.'

'What is it now?'

'That wasn't part of the deal!'

'Then you should've had Wade look over the contract. Come on B, once he's done, he's going to use a local on the stump and cauterize the wound.'

'That still isn't part of the deal,' Bonnie said defiantly.

'What is this, Agony County, take the hit for the team! It's only a few minutes of pain for a lifetime of riches and zero traffic.'

'Fine, as long as I get the local when he's done cutting.'

'So you want the local?'

'Who am I, John McClaine? Yes I want the local!'

'Alright….' Zita said drawing it out.

'Why did you say it like that for.'

'Well, the local he gives you knocks you out, and while you're out, he goes for a pearl dive.'

'WHAT!!!'

'Hey, you made the deal!'

'To trade my foot for the flying car, not to be tortured and molested by some mad German scientist.'

'And his friends.'

'Huh?'

'When he's done, he lets his friends get a crack at you too.'

'Deal's off!'

'Need I mind you, this is for the flying car.'

'It's not worth it!'

'See, you're what's wrong with this country, hell this world. Everyone is so worried about themselves that nobody is willing to throw their hats over the wall for something they believe in, all because of your stupid refusal to reach for the stars. Not only you blow the notion of the flying car, but American nobility in the process. The children of this country will not have any type of role model, nothing to emulate and grow from and what will be left from this debauchery nothing short of the early extinction of the human race, thanks to you because of your fears of losing a foot for something as noble as the flying car. All this will just drive us back into the stone age, and to think that this was preventable by a wimpy little cocksucking Middleton cheerleader who could've broke the chasm of becoming, and being, but instead, opting to cover her own ass, and foot, in the process.'

'ALRIGHT,' Bonnie screamed, 'I'll go through with the deal. I'll let the German scientist hack my foot off, and him and his friends can have their way with me. All for the flying car.'

Zita gives Bonnie a disgusted look. 'You'd do it with a bunch of guys just to get a car? I thought I knew you woman.' Bonnie turned to look at Zita speechless, and for once in her life, at a loss for words.

xxxxxHxxxxx

The two make it to Secaucus and among the thousands, there dressed up as Naruto, Gendo Hikari, even several Cloud Strifes amongst them, none of them was the dead ringer Dark Magician with blonde hair standing at the top of the stairs. Bonnie wit her bag in hand simply grabbed Ron's hand, and pulled him to the nearest bathroom. His best friend Felix Renton who was sitting there with him just watching what just transpired promptly turned his attention back to his girlfriend who couldn't stop laughing. She then proceeded to explain what happened in the car.

'Zita, what have I told you after the Rings incident at the store?'

'Oh come on!'

'Zita,' Felix said more forcefully.

'No Kevin Smith scenes. Felix, in all seriousness, it was a dead ringer.'

Felix couldn't stop chuckling. 'Well it was appropriate. At least you didn't to the "Chocolate Covered Pretzels!"' The two sat there laughing until Felix noticed Ron come out. He got Zita out of her daze just at a changed Bonnie Rockwaller come out dressed as a Dark Magician Girl. Her outfit was so good that a pair of girls who she just walked passed turned around and was rewarded by walking into the glass double doors hard enough to break one of their noses.

'So how do I look,' she asked the two. Zita simply nodded and Felix just sat there drooling. 'I'll take that as you approve.'

'That's good because Cosplay Chess is ten minutes away, and we need to find out what we're going to be,' Ron said while taking Bonnie's hand, and walking into the Convention Center.

Author's Notes:

This story come to me one night while at work. We was discussing various Kevin Smith films and I mentioned this short film The Flying Car that he did for The Tonight Show shortly before Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. A little time later, my plot bunny attack came and at 4:30 in the morning, it just flowed right out of me. The convention I'm referring to is AnimeNext, at the Meadowlands Convention Center right outside of Secaucus. Great con experience.

Thank you Whispers From the Shadows for presenting a Fangirl Bonnie to the rest of us.

Stay tuned because I have several other projects I'm ready to release.

Oh, by the way I don't own Kim Possible (Disney), The Dark Magician and Dark Magician Girl (Konami). I'm just a lowly UPS Sorter from Philadelphia. Go and hit up George Bush.