Author: Pirate Turner
Rating: R due to sexual references and foreplay
Summary: Spike will take his moments of pleasure, happiness, and love with his beloved Angel where he will allow him to do so, even if he knows Hell will always follow every treasured moment.
Warnings: Slash, Abusive Relationship
Word Count: 998
Challenge: Fan Fic Land's weekly drabble challenge for 30 August, 2010: "In the shadows"
Date Written: 2 September, 2010
Disclaimer: Spike and Angel are & TM Joss Whedon and any and all other possible respective owners, none of which are the author, and are used without permission. Everything else is & TM the author. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.
The night was done; the battle was over. He should have been happy, his blood lust sated and soul victorious, but he was not for as he gazed into the shadows and met the dark eyes of his partner, he understood the message silently shining in those beseeching, enchanting eyes. Would he come with him for one more day, spend one more day in his arms, and then let him run away into the night as he always did when he was finished with him? Would he allow him to find his paradise in his arms one more time and then thrust him away once again like discarded trash?
Spike froze as he gazed into Angel's eyes, but already he knew the answer. It would be the same one he always gave him; the same one he had always eventually given his grandsire when in control of his own being; the same one he would always give him, no matter how many times he destroyed his black heart after sharing with him the bliss he had always only found in his strong, loving, but also unforgiving arms; the same one that granted him what he needed even more than he needed the blood that coiled, warming, in his stomach; and the same one that would always condemn him to being love's bitch. He was love's bitch, and he had never once denied that fact.
Spike swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and walked through the shadows that were beginning to fade. The other fighters were forgotten by the two Vampires as they embraced in the shadows. Angel angled his head for Spike's neck, and Spike shivered deliciously inside as he ran his tongue over a cut and drank his blood. Angel pulled back after a fleeting moment and gazed into Spike's eyes, his cold, pale hands caressing his handsome face. "We have to hurry. The sun will be up soon."
Spike gave a brief nod, the only answer he'd dared allow himself to give at this time. A thousand emotions swirled through him at once: the eternal need and undying love he would always feel for Angel alone; the misery that plagued him for he knew the painful misery and betrayal that would come when Angel was done with him this time; and the fury that radiated through his every fiber at the thought of the Hell to which Angel condemned them both. He knew he loved him, or else he'd have not come to him again and again throughout the centuries they'd shared together. Yet, also with just as much surety, Spike knew that Angel would never allow himself to admit that he loved a monster, no more than he would stop running from the monster that always lurked within himself.
Spike wanted to beg Angel to stop running, cease his hiding, and embrace the love that they'd been given though neither of them deserved it, but he refused the burning need in his being for he knew that doing so would only cause his beloved Angel to become his tormenting Demon even more swiftly. He would yell at him, scream at him, refuse their love, cuss him out in every language they knew, inform him heatedly that he was only an ends to a means and could never be anything more for he was good now whereas Spike would never be as good as he was for he'd never possess a soul of such purity, and then he'd hit him. He'd hit him again and again, and Spike would either respond, prompting them both to beat each other to a bloody pulp, or he would crawl away, slide deeper into the shadows that always offered him protection, and lick his wounds. Either way, he would be cheated of the moments Angel was offering him now, the rare moments of love that Angel actually allowed himself to give them, and those were moments for which he would gladly give anything, even the soul he'd fought so hard to achieve, and they were the moments that truly made his unlife worth surviving.
Thus it was that Spike stepped into Angel's waiting arms and let him pull him into hiding from the first rays of the rising sun. He let him kiss him and shivered inside. He let Angel's hands roam over him as his own hands tentatively reached out and began to touch the sensual body that filled his every good dream. He moaned when he slipped his tongue into his mouth and deepened their kiss, and he began to respond at last in full and hearty eagerness as he pushed the thoughts of what would come that night to the furthest recesses of his mind. It would happen, he knew. Angel would betray him again, turn away from him and toss him and their love away as he always did, but Spike also knew that he would come again. After all, he always did, and as much as his beloved grandsire would never admit, Spike knew, with a silent grin chasing his dark lips, that he, too, was love's bitch.
He whispered none of the words of love that churned through his poet's mind but took all that Angel offered him, gave him everything he possessed, and silently begged for an eternity of more. He showed him with his touches how much he would always love him alone but never spoke a word of the truth of his feelings as Angel returned his every sizzling kiss, ravishing lick, naughty nip, and passionate touch with just as much fervor. He yearned for an eternity of these moments spent loving the man who would always possess all his heart and love with a burning need more powerful, desperate, and aching than anything else he'd ever known or, indeed, anything he would ever know, but he would take that eternity one moment in the shadows at a time as long as that was all his Angel would give him.
The End
Author's Note: If you enjoyed this story, or any of my other writings, I hope you'll consider joining my brand new fan fic land comm - /FanFicLand - where four teams compete with weekly drabble challenges and monthly longer fic challenges to see who can reach 5,000 points first!