Surprise! I'm having some writing block in terms of my other fix, I hope you like this one :)
Bellamy
When I saw Clarke the first time, I didn't think anything other than that she was hot and annoying as hell. Every decision I made, every step I took, she was always there to question me. "What if the air is toxic?" she asked, questioning me right off the bat. Like I said, she was insufferable.
What gave her a right to think that she knew what's best? But that's the thing, she always ended up knowing what was best. Begrudgingly I slowly accepted her council. Whenever I didn't know what to do, she always did. It also annoyed me how beautiful she was, I couldn't stop looking at her. Like I said, she was annoying. Like an itch I couldn't scratch.
It was worse when that spacewalker started noticing me. He always would catch me looking at her and I didn't like it. Not to mention, he was an idiot and Clarke could do much better. I started calling Clarke 'Princess' to get a rise out of her, typically girls didn't fight me on things other than my sister. It helped that it annoyed the spacewalker.
But it wasn't until she killed Atom that I really started to develop feelings for her. I respected her. I had once said that she couldn't make the hard decisions, but she proved me wrong once again. She was strong when I couldn't be. And I knew how much it hurt her to do that. She's beautiful physically yes, but also her character is beautiful. She cares so much about every human life, she doesn't want anyone to have to die unnecessarily. But if someone has to, she accepts it. She doesn't keep arguing like Finn does, but he's to idealistic. He also doesn't understand how Clarke can make the hard decisions when she has to, but I do. She's stronger than he thinks. He doesn't need to protect her, she can handle herself. And that's what terrifies me. I care about her and I want to keep her safe. Regardless of whether or not Clarke or Octavia can handle themselves, I'm still going to try to help them and keep them safe, nothing else matters. I'll never deserve her. She's too good for me, especially morally speaking. I hurt people and make bad choices when protecting those I care about. Clarke evaluates all the options and truly thinks before doing anything drastic. I don't know how she does it. I love her, but I'll be whatever she needs me to be in order to keep her and our people safe. I can't let my feelings for her get anyone hurt. Loving Octavia has caused enough problems as is. I'm not going to create any more problems for Clarke, she has enough on her shoulders and it's my job to alleviate that weight.