Joy of a Principal

Dear Diary,

Although I sometimes I wish I could pack my bags and turn in my resignation form, the events of today have more than made up for the anguish I have had to endure for the past two-and-a-half years at the hands of Atobe Keigo.

I believe that in a previous entry, I mentioned that that insufferable but talented heir to the Atobe business empire had come to me regarding the annual poetry-writing competition. He had said that, since he had contributed so much to the school, both in cash and in fame, he believed he had the right to be the subject of the aforesaid competition. It might, he had added, loosen his already generous purse strings further. Of course, I had had to concede to his demand.

However, I secretly made arrangements with the literary department to send me any interesting entries. I was duly rewarded for my suffering. Three entries in particular caught my eye – "Cemetery", "Highway 64", and last but not least, "Underwear". I have entered these highly amusing poems below.

CEMETERY I went to the cemetery; paid no respects –

Dug up his body and twisted his neck.

I went to his funeral; I'd went to his room,

I'd gave him a present – that present'd went boom.

I went to the cemetery; there was a parade –

People threw flowers; I threw a grenade.

I dug up his body – he wasn't quite dead,

I used a bazooka and blew off his head.

His body went up –

His body went down.

His body went splat –

Right on the ground.

Submitted by Hiyoshi Wakashi (sophomore)

HIGHWAY 64

Driving down the highway, on Highway 64,

Atobe does a fart, and I fly out of the door.

The car breaks down and the engine flies apart –

All because of Atobe's supersonic fart.

Driving down the highway, on Highway 64,

Atobe does a fart, and I fly out of the door.

The world blows up and the universe explodes –

All because of Atobe's supersonic fart.

Submitted by Akutagawa Jirou (senior)

UNDERWEAR

Atobe, Atobe –

Flying over Delaware

Looking for his underwear

Couldn't find another pair.

Atobe, Atobe –

Was eaten by a polar bear

And that's how Atobe died.

Submitted by Mukahi Gakuto (senior)

These three poems, though sadly not the winning entries, effectively hospitalized the arrogant captain of our tennis team (he'd fainted after hearing them read out) and reduced me, the principal of the esteemed Hyotei Gakuen, to laughing my ass off.

Signing off,

Saya Hikaru, Principal of Hyotei Gakuen, Tokyo, Japan.

A/N: Hehe I just assumed that the principal of Hyotei was a female in this fic. I really don't know. And I didn't really mean to torture Atobe… (grovels) Really sorry, fangirls of Atobe!! Please review!!