Domestic Help or How Martha Stewart tamed a cow and took over the boys dorm
Hermione had decided that Harry needed help, major domestic help. And being the refined muggle-born woman she was, she called in the only expert that seemed to make any sense for the job. Martha Stewart.
So Harry was surprised to find that one day when he woke up, a motherly looking figure stood above his bed, lightly dusting his face and covers. Harry, quite surprised, sat up quickly and muttered something indecipherable. Martha scowled down at him. Harry soon found himself dressed in newly-pressed clothing and doing some mixing in nowhere other than his dormitory.
"Now," said Martha staring at some invisible thing that she seemed to enjoy conversing with, "Beat 50 times or until stiff peaks form."
Harry garbled something incoherent. Martha proceeded cooking and talking to invisible man/thing. Harry left the dormitory to go to classes. Martha continued cooking.
Ron came down the stairs a few minutes later, looking more scruffy than usual, then again that might have been due to the fact that he was covered in sufficient amounts of flour. Harry choked in a giggle. Ron giggled back. Actually no he didn't.
Ron, instead said, "I wouldn't be talking Mr. My-hair-is-lying-flat. She cooked us lunch, though I don't know why, zany, that one."
Harry stared at the lumpy paper bag, which this time was nothing mysterious, just a sandwich and a bottle of milk that Ron said Martha had extracted herself. Harry was caught up in wondering if there was a cow in his dormitory when Hermione descended the stairs. The three hurried off to class, one that surprisingly did not include the Slytherins, Harry looking quite a lot better than normal, Ron looking well Ron-ish, and Hermione wearing a smug smile that all together said, "I know something you don't know," in quite a 3rd grade sort of way.
After quite a horrible day of classes, well actually just potions, which did in fact include the Slytherins, they all returned to the dormitory. (What they did in potions is not relevant, so I will not bore the readers with such nonsense.)
The boys returned to find that their dorm was neatly organized, their clothing (which was actually just mostly black) was color coordinated, and their books were alphabetized. Their was a steaming meal sitting in the window seat and Martha was thoroughly enjoying some time consuming project that took too much patience, the woman obviously did not understand that they had already eaten and did not comprehend the fact that they did not neat hand-embroidered day bags.
Harry was about to confront her about her obvious obsessive compulsive disorder, when a large cow began to chew on his hair. Harried sighed. It was going to be one of those weeks.
A/N: This is my first fan-fic, so please read and review. Sorry my writing isn't that accomplished and the characters are a little out of character (how repetitive). I'll continue, even though I seem to have written myself into a corner, if anyone thinks it is good enough. Yes so please R&R much appreciated!!