Disclaimer: I own not a god damn thang Rocky Horror, I certainly don't own Micheal Jackson, n' I don't own IT!

Therez a light up in tha darknizz all up in tha frankenstein place!

"Shut up! It aint nuthin but just a gangbangin' f-in light!"

Brad n' Janet strutted right all up in tha door of tha castle as if tha was pimps. Riff raff holla'd "What tha hell?! This aint how tha fuck tha script goes!" Brad says "Peace dude, would you like me ta take a thugged-out dirtnap yo' afro purple n' cotten candy?"

Meanwhile Janet strutts up ta a tree n' starts huggin it sayin "I gots a straight-up boner fo' you tree."

Riff raff goes "Hair?! What hair?! I don't give a fuck what tha fuck afro yo' rappin' about, unless you refferin ta mah sister/loverz mop!"

Magenta slides down tha banista but falls off half way down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "I be aiiight dawwwwg! I be aiiight!" Biatch was obviously faded. "Did I hear one of yous say suttin' bout purple monkies ridin' dirty on unicycles?" Biatch asked.

Riff starts bustin tha time warp.

Magenta yells "Oh mah god hommie biaaatch! Riff! I gots a straight-up boner fo' tha warp of time!" Biatch runs tha fuck into tha ballroom but forgets ta open tha door n' runs right tha fuck into it n' falls down backwardz n' landz on Janet up in a magical poof of smoke.

Janet all of a sudden yells "Madnizz takes itz toll! Woooh! Boy is I stoned!"

Brad then yells "Yo, mah playas know how tha fuck ta do tha Madison?"

Frank randomly strutts up in bustin only one high heel n' his crazy-ass makeup is smudged straight-up badly yo. Dude starts struttin up in circlez off balizzle sayin "Magenta didn't I rap ta tell me when tha clock was outta tha oven?"

Riff goes "No no! Dat shiznit was tha peanut butter vase shoe suprise, remember, biatch? I be bout ta git it!" Dude starts ta strutt over ta tha closet but trips on Magenta n' Janet yo. Dude standz up grumbling. "Janet, Magenta! Git yo' lazy bums off tha floor playa! Frank needz his crazy-ass medicine!" Dude scoldz em.

Frank goes "Fuck dat shit, no. It aint nuthin but all gravy. I took tha sunflower two minutes ago."

Brad starts skippin round up in circlez tossin flower petals outta a picnic basket rappin "Toucha toucha toucha bust a nut on me biaaatch! I wanna take a funky-ass baaath!"

Columbia entas tha room by sumersaltin down tha stairs only up in her underclothes. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch jumps ta tha chandelier wit dunkadelic cat-like reflexes n' hangs upside down by one leg like a monkey on a tree branch hangin by itz tail. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch goes "I see. . .dead plants!"

Magenta yells up ta Columbia "Da only dead plants I peep is yo' fake, plastic implants!" Then her big-ass booty starts bustin up like a wild-ass mini-dawg dawg on steroids.

Frank yells ta Magenta "Thatz not sick biaaatch! Now why don't you smoke a liter box or something! Noo! I even mo' betta playa! Eat Bradz trouser snake, if you can find it!"

Brad yells "Yeah. . . umm. . .itz straight-up a trouser pencil!"

Columbia cracks up bustin up so hard she falls ta tha ground n' hits her head on tha banista n' shit. "I be aiiight!" Biatch yelled even though her left eye was bleedin uncontrollably n' her nozzle was no longer attatched. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Not ta mention her big-ass booty starts beatboxin like a funky-ass baby.

Riff yells "I thought I turned tha dishwasher off!"

Frank yells "Columbia, is you aiiight dawwwwg! I be thinkin you had a lil too much fruity-ass malt liquor todizzle. It make me wanna hollar playa! Fuck dat shit, wait a minute. . . you don't drank coffee. . you drank koolaid hommie biaaatch! What has Micheal Jackson done ta you, nahmean biiiatch, biatch? Dat punk such a cold-ass lil skanky knock off of me biaaatch! I'd know, I slept wit his ass last night!"

Riff goes "Holy crap. That was tha one I thought was a biatch when our crazy asses had dat threesome?! Crap."

Magenta slaps Riff on tha face. "I holla'd at you ta quit chillin wit drag biatchs muthafucka! Is yo' own flesh n' blood not enough fo' you, nahmean biiiatch, biatch? Thatz it son! We over!" Then her big-ass booty starts bustin up like a biatch like a crazy maniac thatz sugar high.

Janet goes "Yo, chick, I dont be thinkin you suppossed ta chill wit relatives anyway. God, you must have no game. Were you molested as a cold-ass lil child?"

Frank goes "Yo, thatz not cool. If mah playas up in dis room has been molested as a cold-ass lil lil pimp itz gotta be me, I mean peep me biaaatch! I a gangbangin' f-in transvestite fo' godz sake biaaatch! What kind of game do you be thinkin mah childhood was, biatch? A bowl of cherries n' whipped cream, biatch? Ha! No. . . . I gots molested by a gangbangin' freaky clown whoz ass goes by tha name of Pennywise whoz ass lives up in tha sewer n' shit. . .not ta mention da thug was mad faded. . . n' mah motherz fiance."

Slim Tim Curry randomly appears up in a puff of some n' yells "I LOVE CAKE!" Then vanishes without a trace. . . except he left behind a peice of paper wit his beeper number on it sayin Frank, dat one night stand was phat all dem weeks ago. Will yo thugged-out ass. . .marry me?

Columbia picks up tha paper n' goes "Oooh! A ludd note biaaatch! Yo crazy-ass afro is winter fire, Janurary embers. My fuckin ass burns there like a muthafucka yo. Holy crap! Someonez been watchin IT! too much! Magenta, I holla'd at you if you didn't stop watchin dat it would mess wit yo' mind!"

Magenta yells "I WANT TO GO HOME!" Then runs tha fuck into tha wall so hard it leaves a whole tha shape of her body when dat thugged-out biiiatch crashed all up in cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce fo' realz. A Purple leprarecaun magically appears n' says "I be yo' fairy godmutha n' shit. I'ma grant you three wishes.

Magenta says "Wish number one: I wanna bounce back ta tha doggy den!" Biatch appears at home. "Wish number two: I want a Morticia costume." A Morticia costume appears on her muthafuckin ass. "Wish number three: I be lonely I wanna go back ta tha castle." Biatch poofs away n' returns ta tha castle. "CRAP!" Biatch yelled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I ALWAYS mess up on tha third wish! And never know when mah leprecauhn will come back! Never trust tha purple leprecauns," Biatch warned Frank. "They purposely hit you wit three wishes so you gonna mess up on tha last one."

Brad goes "Ummm. . .is it just me or do I peep a wild-ass biatch wit red frizzy afro n' three legs?"

Janet starts hustlin round up in circlez beatboxin "Da British is coming, tha British is coming!"