Disclaimer: I own nothing, just mine to have a little fun while I can...
A/N: So there's been a break, but that's because I wanted this completed before I posted a thing, so I can guarantee updates without long waits =)
Now this, this is a heartbreaker, thanks to Wordofwyrd, Emzypemzy and BonesBird for being my voices of reasons and loving every bit of this story =) You guys rock!
Now without further ado onto the story...
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Every Little Part of Me -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
She sat outside, the cool air breezing around her, the coldness hitting her tears as she tried to let them fall silently but it was no use.
She was heartbroken.
Penelope bent over her perched position as the pain she felt became unbearable, almost physical, and she couldn't help the howl that escaped her lips as she felt tortured by what she'd witnessed only hours earlier.
She had sat in the pews of a church, watching the man she loved get married and he spoke his vows with such conviction and love that she knew there and then that all the year's she'd spent dreaming off him as her man were for absolutely nothing and she knew that whatever she thought or even felt right now, she was never going to get the one thing she wanted now.
She was never going to get herself the man of her dreams, she was never going to get her one true love and she was never going to be destined for that happily ever after.
Here she was outside alone, while he finished his first dance and all she could do was feel the rage of jealousy fill her and the sadness as her heart laid splintered in pieces around her. There was no other emotion, there was no happiness for the event, no elation that Derek was finally happy and there was certainly no excitement in watching him in his life now.
"PG?" She heard and shot her head up to see Emily, "Pen what's a matter?" She asked as she came around hastily and crouched in front of her, immediately panicking as she saw the pain stricken look on her friend's face.
"I love him, Emily." Penelope admitted in a low, painful whisper and the tears fell down her face, "I'm in love with Derek and today's just proven that he never loved me like that and he never will." Penelope choked on the onslaught of tears and tried to calm herself but to no avail.
"Oh Pen," Emily sympathised as she sat there staring at the pain her friend was suffering over this, "why didn't you tell him?"
"Because he's happy." Penelope told her, "Who am I to take that from him when that's all I want to see?"
Emily sighed, "If you love him you had a right to tell him. You had a chance like Alice did, there was no stopping you."
Penelope nodded, "I'm not made for Derek. She's made for Derek." Penelope told Emily, her eyes just crying more and more tears, "It was all wasted, Em, all those years that I fell deeper and deeper in love with him were for nothing. I wanted a man that was never mine for the taking and he never will be now and I have to live with that."
"You don't have to do a thing, it's never too late."
"He's married." Penelope pointed out heartbrokenly.
"He's still your best friend," Emily reasoned back and pushed a stray curl behind Penelope's ear, "He'll listen to you."
Penelope shook her head and rolled her eyes as more tears came, "I-I can't do that to him and I won't. He's happy now, Em, everyone in that room can see it. Derek's world is her, it's not me anymore, it's not been me for a long time. He deserves to be happy, God does he above everyone."
"So that's it?" Emily asked, "You give up?"
"My love for him is just empty compared to his love for Alice. If it wasn't I would be the one that just declared my love for him in front of everyone possible. I would've been the one that would be kissing him whenever the hell I want and I would be the one that could tell him fearlessly that I'm so in love with him it hurts."
Emily's eyes watered, "it's never too late." She tried again with the same argument.
"Emily, get it into your head, what you all saw, and what I felt for him for years was for nothing. He never saw it because he never felt even an ounce of it and he never will. It's never been me, I was just his friend, his baby girl, and I'm not even that now."
Penelope's eyes welled harder that time and the tears drew down her cheeks, marring them more and more.
"I know I'll never stop loving him, and now, after today, I don't think I'll ever recover but today proved a lot of things and it answered a lot of unasked questions and I guess I needed this to show me that life's cruel, that there's only one type of man that'll ever want me."
"Don't give up so soon, this isn't you. What about everything happening for a reason?"
"The only reason I can see of this is for a reality check." Penelope said and began to sob, her splintered heart just being crushed completely, she looked at Emily, her eyes large, and showing the screams for help she was in need of. "P-please tell m-me I won't hurt this b-bad forever..." She pleaded for an answer, "I n-need to know that th-this won't hurt like this every day because i-it's killing me r-right now."
Emily's heart broke as she heard Penelope sob the words out, "I can't promise you that, Pen, I can't tell you how fast you'll heal; all I can do is be there for you." Emily vowed and grabbed her hand, "It'll get better, you just need time."
Penelope put her head down as she tried to breathe away the torrent of sobs, "I-I love him so much, Em." She finalised and her entire posture just collapsed on itself. "I never fell this hard before and now I have and I can't do a damn thing to sort it."
"I say you tell him." Emily persisted.
"I am not telling him!" Penelope shouted as her head shot up, "There is no point, and I refuse to hurt him or Alice like that, I refuse to be that type of woman. I refuse to be that." Penelope argued back, "I need to wake up and realise that it happened."
Emily looked at her, readying for the carry on.
"I woke up from my dream." She told her friend and tilted her head to the side, "and woke up to my nightmare."
Emily felt herself lose a tear as she heard in Penelope's tone the evidence of desolation, of giving up. She heard every droplet of lost love and she heard every ounce of devastation in her friend's voice and all she could do was wrap her arms around her and hold her as her sobs became harsher than ever and began to steal Penelope's breath as she lost control.
Derek on the other hand turned on his heels and went back in the building, looking for a stiff drink and a quiet place to clear his head of Penelope's words.
He'd gone to find her, he'd seen her expressions throughout the day and he had been waiting for his opportunity to go to her and to see what was wrong.
And boy did he just find out.
He realised he wasn't going to get a quiet place to just reflect, not as his new wife came towards him and for once Derek finally looked at his second place price. He's substitute, his wrong choice and he plastered a smile on his lips.
He had to live with this as much as Penelope was living with hers.
Here was to forever as he had vowed only hours earlier.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Every Little Part of Me -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
A/N: I did warn it was a heartbreaker... I just didn't specify whose heart would be broken...