Author: Ashley

Title: Finding Our Way Back

Rating: M

Part: 1/15

Pairing: Mon-El and Kara Danvers (Zor-El)

Word Count (Chapter One): 1,882

Summary: "It had been almost two months and he wasn't getting any better. Her eyes were wide as she sat there staring at him. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know how to help him." - Kara and Mon-El break up in 2x16: Star-Crossed and the Music Meister never pushes them back together. After an incident with his mother, Mon-El has been put into a coma to recover from lead poisoning. Kara moves on without him. When he wakes up, will they be able to find their way back to each other?

Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl, DC Comics or anything related to such things. The ideas, dialogue and plot points here were inspired by the show, but they are my own. Plagiarism isn't nice. Please don't steal my ideas.

A/N: Hi everyone!

Prepare yourselves because this author's note is about to be WAY too long, but I feel like I've been writing this fic forever and it needs a proper introduction.

I saw a prompt on Twitter back in April (?) and I had to give it a try (if it was your prompt, msg me on Twitter because I can't even remember where it came from!). What was supposed to be a steamy one shot with some angst quickly (over the course of two months...oops) took on a life of it's own and became a way too long angst-fest.

Normally, I'd link or write in the prompt details, BUT after thinking about it for a while, I've decided that it might actually give a little too much of the plot away too soon. So, I'd like to ask that you all just come along for the ride with me. Those of you who've known I've been working on this, keep the prompt spoilers to yourselves ;)

I have to preface this fic with a statement: KARA IS ANGRY. A lot of her decisions in this fic are fueled by anger. We didn't get to see all that much of her anger on the show because the Music Meister came in to distract us all and Kara quickly came to realize that she should forgive Mon-El. Here, the MM doesn't arrive, Kara doesn't have the epiphany she had on the show and she has to figure it all out for herself.

There's going to be angst. There's going to be Kara with another man. There's going to be moments where you might be yelling at your screen as you read, telling Karamel to just get their shit together already. But it's all a part of the story. You're going to be angry at the both of them (possibly a little upset with me), but stick with me. There's a happy (and quite smutty) ending, I promise.

We're going to spend a lot of time in Kara and Mon-El's heads. There's going to be a lot of flashbacks. Basically everything that happened in 2x16: Star-Crossed has happened, but anything else you need to know will be seen in flashbacks and memories.

Now, this fic is a long one BUT HAVE NO FEAR, IT IS COMPLETED. I've written everything out already and will VERY LIKELY not change a thing (regardless of comments you guys leave, unfortunately) as I've already done all the editing, but please don't let that stop you from leaving comments guessing what's coming next. I love to see where my words take you guys!

Now that I've gone ON AND ON AND ON, if you're still reading, I'd like to thank you all for reading my fics and leaving such lovely comments here, on AO3 and on Twitter ( _ashleymaria_). I have a full time job, run an eBay business from home, have a family and friends and fandoms to keep up with and I'm really just so busy. But with all the general craziness of life, it's so nice to come to a place where everyone can enjoy a ship (and selfishly) praise me for my writing quality...something that I see myself as NOWHERE close to being a professional at...about characters that I just truly enjoy. All your kind words and love, even just an "I love it" and "thank you for writing" mean so much.

Anyways, now that I'm all teary and grateful for you all, ON TO THE FIC ALREADY.

Chapter One

June 1, 2017

She sniffled. She was so scared. She was really freaking angry, but she was still scared.

It had all happened so fast; before she even realized what was happening to him.

She wasn't supposed to feel this way. She was mad at him. She broke up with him. It was her choice to end it. She made him leave her apartment.

It was late. She wasn't expecting him to be there. She wasn't ready to see him. She hadn't even noticed he was there, not until he spoke; his voice echoing in her quiet apartment, surprising her while simultaneously jabbing like a knife into her heart.

"I hope you don't mind I let myself in."

She dropped the pile of mail in her hands onto the table top in silence.

"I just wanted to say a few things," he started, turning around, moving away from the window and stepping closer to her, "before I lose you forever." She crossed her arms as she looked over at him. "Because, I owe you a lot, but most of all, I owe you the truth." When she didn't speak, he continued, clearly steeling himself; preparing for her to react, for her to throw him out, for her to refuse to listen.

"My name is Mon-El. I am the former Prince of Daxam. And I was a spoiled, useless person, but I didn't know. Until I met you. I love being a hero because it means I get to spend every single day by your side. And I love the way that you're honest to a fault," he cracked a smile and it made her angry. She just watched him, glared at him as he stepped as close as he could get. "And that you fight for those you care for. And I love you." It came out on a whisper and she couldn't stop her sharp intake of breath; listening but trying to make herself ignore how the words sounded, how they made her feel. "With everything that I have, I love you. You are so special."

He had tears in his red-rimmed eyes and his lip was starting to tremble, but she couldn't do it. She couldn't say that it was okay. She couldn't forget that he lied. She couldn't let herself feel the emotions his words brought up.

"I know that. I deserve better than being lied to."

"You do," he insisted, "and I-I am sorry for that. You're right, okay? I'm a liar and I really hope that you can still see the good in me. Please."

He had one chance. She removed her glasses and turned to him.

"Were you ever going to tell me the truth?"

It took him a moment but, "I don't know," he shook his head.

And that did it. That's what made her decision easy. She couldn't be with someone who would keep such a big secret. A secret that he didn't even choose to reveal himself. A secret that he may never have chosen to reveal. She needed honesty. She needed truth. And she needed him to leave. She couldn't even look at him anymore without feeling the heat of the fire of rage that had so quickly built up inside of her.

But now, she would do anything to have him open his eyes. To have his gray irises shine brightly up at her like they used to.

She replayed the moment over and over in her head. She had been doing so for the last month and a half, while she sat on the stool next to his bed in the DEO med bay. His eyes. His tears. His cracked voice. His confession. His confession that days before would have been the best, most fulfilling thing to hear come from his lips. But what happened, had happened. It changed things. It changed what she thought of him.

"You just want things to be easy, Mon-El, but being a hero and falling in love, those are not easy things. They're hard and they're messy and they hurt sometimes."

"I would never hurt you on purpose," he insisted.

"No, you won't again."

"Kara, don't," he pleaded, the tears almost crossing the waterline of his eyes.

"I can't," she said. "I can't do this. No. It's over."

And he didn't say anything. She broke him. She could see it, but it was killing her, too. She didn't want him to leave, but it was too hard to try to make it work if he stayed. She wasn't ready to take that chance on him again. As she sat here now watching his face, she still wasn't sure if she was ready to give him another chance.

She didn't regret her decision to end things, but that didn't mean she wasn't scared for him. She was mad at him for lying. Still so mad. But some part inside of her was dying over him being so sick and in trouble.

If he opened his eyes right now, would she take him back? Not likely. She was still angry as all hell, but that didn't mean she wasn't worried about him. That she wasn't concerned for his health; for his wellbeing.

She felt partially responsible after all. She was the one who gave him the unsolicited advice to go talk to his mother. Rhea had been trying for almost a month to get him to return to New Daxam; to start fresh; to gather their people back together and to create a new, better, stronger world. She was full of anger and nastiness.

He didn't want to go. "You're being a baby," she had told him. She wanted him to tell Rhea that he was needed on Earth; that he was going to be a hero for the people here. She told him that he was being stupid and immature and that he should just talk to his own damn mother. He had told her it was a bad idea; that his mother was dangerous, deadly. She had laughed in his face and he'd looked at her dejected, almost embarrassed. She offered the Fortress of Solitude as a meeting place for the discussion; a safe zone for their inevitable argument. She didn't expect the threats with the Kryptonite sais Rhea had constructed. She didn't expect the lead-tipped syringe either.

"What did you do?!" Kara demanded to know, her voice angry, shocked as she knelt to the snow lining the floor of the Fortress. Rhea rushed to grab a sai from the ground and held it out in Kara's direction to keep her away; its presence weakening her and making her take a step backwards.

"I'm taking him home," Rhea announced, voice clear, motive obvious.

Mon-El had fallen to his knees as he coughed and wheezed, panting and desperately trying to suck air into his lungs. Kara's hand fell to his cheek as she kneeled near him.

"Mon-El?" she called out, but he wasn't meeting her eyes. "What was in that needle?" she looked up at Rhea. She still held out the Kryptonite weapon in her palm and it was continuing its work in making Kara nauseous. Mon-El fell over onto his side, his body twitching. Her arms wrapped around his back, and lifted him off the floor to lean against her chest. His eyes were blinking rapidly and she saw sweat break out on his forehead. "Hey, Mon-El…" she tapped his cheek, trying to get him to focus on her.

Rhea's eyebrows furrowed as she stared at her son on the ground.

"Rhea!" she shouted, getting the woman's attention. "The needle! What was in it?!"

"I-I don't remember!" her eyes were moving about wildly. "CADMUS. Lillian Luthor. She gave it to me and said it would help put him to sleep so I could take him home without a fight. A temporary slumber so I could transport him to the ship more easily."

Kara looked intently across his face: his eyes were closed now and his breathing becoming shallower. Then it hit her. Lillian Luthor knew Mon-El's weakness. "Lead! Rhea, was there some kind of lead based substance in there?"

Rhea's eyes widened. "I think so. The needle's tip is made with lead. She told me it was the only way to pierce his skin…"

"Oh, Rao, he's allergic! It'll kill him!" She didn't wait for a response from Rhea. She grabbed the syringe from the ground where it had fallen and she lifted his body and flew, faster than she thought possible, back to the DEO.

"Help!" she called out loudly upon arrival, "I need help!" Dozens of agents came running toward her.

"Kara, what happened?" J'onn questioned, quickly moving in her direction.

"Lead, J'onn. It-it's lead," she held out the syringe in her hand as she stabled Mon-El's body in her arms. "We have to help him. We have to fix this."

"Med bay," he said, "Now."

Stasis. Sedation. Medically induced coma.

That's what they had told her.

In his weakened state, they were able to knock him out further; put him into a coma to slow his body down, to figure out an antidote to counteract the lead flowing through his bloodstream. J'onn had said it would give them time; time to figure things out, time to make things better. The solution wasn't all lead; the concentration was very low, but a low concentration injected directly into his bloodstream was all that was needed to poison him that badly.

It had been almost two months and he wasn't getting any better. Her eyes were wide as she sat there staring at him. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know how to help him.

Truthfully, some dark as coal part inside of her didn't want to help him. Not yet. Because she was so mad. She felt so betrayed. He had lied to her so easily, for months, nearly a year, hiding his entire life from her: the truth about his parents, his past, his history. She wanted him to hurt the way that she was hurting.

Didn't he trust her? Didn't he believe that knowing the truth wouldn't have mattered to her?

Then, that made her angrier because she didn't think it would have mattered to her. But in actual fact, it might have.

He was probably right to hide it from her for so long. She liked to say that being a Daxamite didn't change how she thought of him, and it didn't. She'd long ago accepted that part of him. But the Prince of Daxam? A part of the ruling family on that cruel, savage planet? She supposed that she owed him the chance to explain, but then he ended up in this coma.

She was just feeling so much emotion. Conflict. Confusion. Betrayal. Anxiousness. Anger. Sadness. Worry.

She just needed him to open his eyes. To blink up at her. To make some stupid joke that wasn't funny at all, but that he found hilarious. She needed him. Alex said he wouldn't wake up until they brought him out of the coma medically; then it would be his choice to open his eyes, but that didn't stop her from staring at his lifeless face, silently pleading with him to just wake up.

A/N: Thank you for reading everyone! Please leave a favourite, a comment or add me to your story alert list if you have the time!