Big Time Love Triangle (A Big Time Rush fanfic)

Rating: M

Warnings: Slash

Summary: One of the boys comes out to the rest of the band in hopes of gaining support. This leads to some drama between all the members. Can BTR survive? Slash. Multiple pairings.

Chapter One: Big Time Secrets (Posted 1 February 2011)

"And that's why I have to tell you I'm gay." Logan said as he stood awkwardly in front of his friends. "I know that one day I won't be able to hide it anymore and I don't want any of you finding out by accident and feeling like I lied to you. And if you want me to leave... I will, because I understand if you..."

"Logan," Kendall stood, motioning for the other two boys to back him up, "we don't want you to leave."

"Yeah," Carlos stepped in, "you're our friend and we wouldn't be Big Time Rush without you. You cant bail on us just because you're different."

"We'd never do that to you, man." James said, patting him on the back. "We don't think any different of you, and we respect you for being brave enough to confront us about it."

"Really?" Logan asked, bewildered. "I expected..."

"You expected us to be jerks about it?" James asked jokingly.

"Dude, being gay isn't a bad thing." Kendall said.

"Yeah. It's actually kinda cool." Carlos said with wide eyes.

"Wow." Logan was so relieved. "I'm so glad. I really didn't want it to end here."

X

It was the middle of the night and Logan was still awake. He couldn't sleep. He kept remembering how nervous he'd been. In the end, he'd had no reason to even be nervous, but he was just so scared that his friends were going to leave him behind. Well, except Kendall. He knew Kendall would back him up.

A small smile crept across his face as he thought of Kendall.

He suddenly realized he had to pee so he stood and went to the bathroom.

Little did he know, someone else was also awake, unable to stop the thoughts swimming around in his head. Kendall heard someone get up and he immediately knew it would be Logan, so he followed him to the bathroom.

"So," Logan said, hearing light footsteps behind him, "what happened to all that stuff about I'll be right there with you, Logan and I'll help you tell them, Logan and I'll tell them we're together, Logan? Huh? Why didn't any of that happen, Kendall? Why was I the only one saying anything?"

"I'm sorry..." Kendall said in a hushed voice. He grabbed Logan from behind and pulled the reluctant boy closer to him. "I just thought that... maybe telling them right away would do more harm than help. And I figured, if James and Carlos saw someone stand up for you right away, they wouldn't waste any time debating on what to say to you."

"But that doesn't change the fact that you broke your promise to me!" Logan said, turning around to face Kendall. "You gave me your word that you would stand by my side and tell them about us but instead you made me face them alone and tell them I'm gay! You didn't even... give me any kind of warning or... anything..."

"I'm sorry... I just... I got confused when I started thinking and then..." Kendall looked into Logan's eyes, the eyes that won him over in the first place. With their sad, frightened gleam that just made him want to protect him from everything bad. "Please forgive me. I promise I'll tell them tomorrow."

"You already promised to tell them today." Logan said sadly. He wanted to believe Kendall, but could anyone believe a promise that was only made to fix one that was broken?

"I know and I'm so stupid... just please... I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Look, Kendall... I... I don't want it to be over between us, ok?" Logan said quietly, forgiveness shining in his eyes even though the rest of his face looked conflicted. "But if you keep doing this to me..."

"Logan, I swear, just give me one more chance. If I blow it, I'll never ask for another chance again and... Just please let me try and make it up to you." Kendall kissed Logan's cheek sweetly. Logan's harsh face didn't soften as he silently eyed Kendall. "And you hate me." Kendal released him and stepped back, putting his hands in the air in surrender. "I get it. I'll still tell them if you want, but..."

"I'm not gonna break up with you." Logan said hesitantly as he grabbed Kendall's hands. "Not right now, anyway. But Kendall, if you're serious about this... you have got to stop letting me down like this. You need to step up and be a good boyfriend or I'm done. I mean it."

"Got it. Whatever you want, I'll make it up to you." Kendall said happily.

"I don't want anything except a boyfriend who actually acts like he cares about me."

"I do care about you." Kendall replied seriously. "You can't tell me that all the times I've kissed you or... held you... all the nights we spent together... you can't have thought I didn't care about it."

Logan's face became sad again. "Well... at those times, yes, it's easy to tell you like me and really care about me but... This whole time, you've never once said you love me. I've brought it up a couple times that... that I love you, Kendall, but you've never said it back to me."

"What?"

"Do you love me?" Logan asked the question in an annoyed voice.

Kendall stared at him, his mind moving a mile a minute. "Love?" he said, causing Logan to sigh angrily. "Logan... we're just teenagers! Love is... an adult thing."

"Kendall," Logan said with a face that meant business, "we've done plenty of other things that are adult things. What makes this one different?"

Logan watched as Kendall's eyes went from frustrated to sad to understanding.

"You're right." Kendall said, pulling Logan forward for a quick kiss. "It isn't any different. I'm sorry for not realizing that earlier. I do love you."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"So, tomorrow you'll tell them?"

"Absolutely."

Logan smiled and let himself fall into Kendall's tight embrace. They kissed again, their lips meeting in a passionate and forgiving/apologetic connection. Smiling at each other, it was understood that the argument was over and all was forgiven. But Kendall knew he still had to make things right with Logan. And Logan knew he had to be ready to let Kendall go if his selfishness gets in the way of their relationship again.