Author's note: This is a parody of the song "I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas". Clarice would of course be the one singing such a tune.
This idea came to me while I was at work today folding mountains of t-shirts (Apparently some people don't understand the concept that it is rude to rifle through nicely folded t-shirts to see what they look like: even though there is the same one being modeled on the mannequin, only in a different color!!!). Anyways, this idea was birthed to me probably between the point of listening to this song for the 26th time today (by way of a company made christmas c.d. that repeats itself over and over again) and wondering what Doctor Lecter would do to the rude t-shirt people if he was in my situation.
Hope you enjoy my odd take on a yule-tide tune!
Sorry it wouldn't let me space the stanzas apart!! The ruler lines were the next best thing!
I want a Cannibal for Christmas
By honeyinthelion
I want a cannibal for Christmas
Only Hannibal the cannibal will do
Don't want Chilton, or the nerdy Noble Pilcher
I want the good doctor to play with and enjoy.
I want a cannibal for Christmas
I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
He won't have be burdensome at all
Just mask n' bind him up
That's the easy thing to do.
I can see me now on Christmas morning
Creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise
When I open up my eyes
To see the delicious doctor standing there.
I want a cannibal for Christmas
Only Hannibal the cannibal will do
No Krendler, no Jack Crawford
I only like Hannibal Lecter
And Doctor Lecter really likes me too!
Crawford told me to never forget who he is
Lecter said the world is more interesting with me in it.
There's lots of room for him in my queen-sized bed
I'd kiss him there, and taste him there, and give him his massage.
I can see me now on Christmas morning
Creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise
When I open up my eyes
To see the delicious doctor standing there.
I want a cannibal for Christmas
Only Hannibal the cannibal will do
No Krendler, no Jack Crawford
I only like Hannibal Lecter
And Doctor Lecter really likes me too!