Yeah, kinda random, I know. What can I say? Hm, how about that this is not based on true events!
In Good Company
No journey is too great!
…
Twenty years from then, Sasuke would wonder why he even bothered answering the call. It was three am, he had to be up in four hours, and he had been asleep for exactly one. Nevertheless, when his phone began ringing shrilly and he was jerked rudely from a fitful slumber, he reached blindly for the device and answered, already knowing only one person was a big enough dick to call him then.
"What?" he croaked, drowsiness making his voice thick.
Silence met him for a moment before a voice spoke up, sounding very unlike the idiot he knew, "Hey, Sasuke. Are you up?"
"Does it fucking sound like I'm up?"
More silence met him. Then a tentative, "Yes?"
Sasuke sighed in acceptance, falling back onto his pillow to rub at his eyes with a free hand. There was no way he could get away now that he had answered. "What do you want, Naruto?"
The silence was infuriating. He didn't have time for this shit. About to let Naruto know exactly those thoughts, he was interrupted when the other finally spoke again.
"There's this, uh," Naruto cleared his throat and paused. Sasuke was seriously contemplating hanging up but then Naruto burst out in a jumble of words, "dead guy on my lawn" – his brows furrowed but the other was already continuing at a normal pace – "and I don't really know what to do with him."
This was ridiculous. What did Naruto expect him to do about that? At three in the morning, no less. He growled out, "Why the fuck are you calling me? Call the cops."
"I can't," the denial came quick.
Sasuke made a frustrated sound, just so Naruto knew exactly how he felt about that response, "And why the hell not?"
"Because I killed him?"
Was it a question? Sasuke didn't want to know. He hoped it was. Silence reigned for a good, solid minute before the dark haired man resigned himself to his fate.
"I'll be there in ten minutes."
He hung up before Naruto could say another word.
And that was why, at three twenty fucking two AM, Sasuke stood uncomfortably on the wet grass in a pair of loafers and no socks (he'd forgotten to grab a pair and been too lazy to turn around once he'd made it to his front door), staring at a body facedown on Naruto's unkempt lawn. He nudged a shoulder with his toe. No response.
"Is he really dead?"
Naruto nodded. "Dead as a doormat," he added unnecessarily.
"Doornail," Sasuke corrected automatically, not even aware he had spoken as he took a deep drag of his cigarette. He let out the smoke as he contemplated their situation, nevermind the fact it wasn't really his situation at all but Naruto's. He could feel a headache coming on.
"We have to get rid of it."
He didn't need to open his eyes to see the relieved grin on Naruto's face. By the time he glanced in the other's direction, Naruto had developed a look of horror on his face, "Wait, are we going to chop it up?"
Sasuke waved a hand dismissively, "I'm not in the mood. Where's your shovel?"
"In the garage." At Sasuke's look, Naruto took off in the direction of his garage, returning momentarily with two shovels. He motioned towards Sasuke's car, "Should I just stick 'em in the trunk?"
Sasuke snorted, indicating towards the body with his thumb, "That shit is not going near my car."
At this, Naruto laughed a bit sheepishly and shrugged his shoulders to convey his helplessness, "Mine's in the shop."
Sasuke glared at the other before flicking the cigarette onto the lawn. He hoped it caught fire. "You're a piece of shit, Naruto," he said. Naruto only nodded understandingly, but he was already walking towards Sasuke's most precious possession. Sasuke stopped him just before he dumped the tools onto the newly vacuumed carpet.
"Watch it! I just cleaned this," he ignored the roll of Naruto's eyes and the "It's just a trunk" when he ordered Naruto to grab several large plastic garbage bags. He figured they could use them for the body as well.
Again, Naruto returned several minutes later, this time grumbling about his friend's freaky cleanliness, but he spread the bags over every inch of space without Sasuke instructing him to do so. He even bagged the tools. When they had been placed inside, he turned to Sasuke expectantly. They both turned simultaneously towards the body.
"You grab his arms, I'll take his legs."
Together, they rolled the body over and Sasuke got his first look at the man's face. He didn't recognize it – not that he expected to – but he could see the dark bruising around the man's neck. Naruto followed his line of sight and offered lightly, "I strangled him."
"Hn." He really didn't want to know.
They shoved the man into the trunk none too gently, bending his legs at the knees so he fit properly, and Sasuke slammed the trunk shut. Without another word, they both climbed in. Sasuke reversed as Naruto pulled at his seatbelt and took off down the street just as it clicked in place. The two sat in silence for several miles, until buildings began to merge into trees, when Naruto finally worked up the nerve to start talking again.
"Your conference is at eight?"
Sasuke grunted.
"Will you make it back in time?"
His gaze flickered to the passenger seat before resting on the road once more. "We better." The threat was unspoken, but Naruto understood it well enough. There was a lot riding on that meeting. If Naruto ended up ruining Sasuke's Big Day, he could probably very well expect to join the nameless chap in their trunk wherever he ended up.
"You will," Naruto said with confidence. "You up for dinner after?"
"Assuming I do well."
Naruto laughed heartily at the response. "Shit, man. You don't have to pretend to be modest. We all know you're going to kick some serious ass."
Sasuke let a smirk slide onto his face but said, "Anything could happen."
He could see Naruto's grin from the corner of his eyes. The other said, "Anyway, I'll treat you to that piece of shit place you like. We can go out for drinks with the others after."
Sasuke grunted in response, feeling it too early to argue the merits of his favorite restaurant with an idiot who had no taste, and Naruto left it at that.
The tension from earlier dissolved, they rode in companionable silence until Sasuke pulled over in the middle of nowhere. The road was pitch black, the nearest civilization miles and miles away. He flicked on his brights to illuminate the trees and reached over to pull a flashlight from the glove compartment.
Naruto followed him when he climbed out and they convened at the back of his car. When Sasuke popped the trunk, he scowled down into the space. The body had moved, sliding towards one corner. He glared at the man's hand, resting against an exposed section of carpet from where the plastic bag had shifted.
"Grab his arms," he instructed again as he himself reached to straighten the man's legs. He started moving backwards without waiting for Naruto to catch.
"Hold up! Hold up! Hold up!" Naruto said in a flurry as his grip on the body loosened. They both winced when the man slipped from his hands, bouncing against the back bumper before landing heavily onto the concrete road.
"Oops?"
"Nevermind. Just grab the shovels and let's get going."
Naruto resumed his hold and together they moved through the brush, futilely trying to avoid sharp branches and twigs. When they reached a small clearing Sasuke announced for them to stop. Naruto let go immediately, dropping the man ungracefully to the ground to roll his shoulders with a grimace.
"Fuck, man. He's heavy."
"Next time, why don't you try killing someone a little more petite," Sasuke said unforgivingly. Naruto had the decency to look ashamed before he bounced back and reached into the bag to pull the smaller shovel out. He threw it to Sasuke, who barely managed to catch it one-handed, before reaching down to pull out the other.
"Where should we dig?" Naruto asked, abandoning all authority to Sasuke and his planning.
Sasuke blindly indicated towards one end of the clearing with his shovel, hoping the dirt was soft enough that they could dig a sufficiently sized hole for the entire body to fit in. Naruto followed the line and stood there, "Here?"
When Sasuke nodded, he slammed the tip of his shovel down into the ground and removed the first of layer of dirt. Sasuke watched him work diligently for a few minutes. There was no way they would be able to dig a deep enough hole in the short time they had, he realized. But whatever they managed was what they would have to deal with. Sasuke sighed and moved to join Naruto.
And hour later, Naruto straightened to wipe an arm over his sweaty brow, "Damnit, how much deeper do we need to dig this shit?"
Sasuke didn't even look up. "Stop complaining," he ordered.
Naruto frowned at the lack of attention his friend gave him. He stood there for a minute longer but Sasuke continued to work. After another minute, Naruto resumed his own job.
It was another hour later that Sasuke gave up. They still needed to drive back and he had given Naruto as much time as he could allow.
"This will have to do," he declared. Naruto tossed his shovel aside without further encouragement and walked over to grab the body by the ankles.
"Let's get this asshole in so we can get the hell out," he said as he began to pull the figure towards the hole. Sasuke just leaned against his shovel, letting Naruto do all the work. The body barely fit, even when Naruto forced it to bend and moved the arms and legs as far as they could without breaking them. He looked up to Sasuke and shrugged. Without a word, Sasuke began to shovel the dirt onto the body. It was really shoddy work, and they would no doubt get caught eventually, he thought, but what else could they do?
When the body was covered, Naruto groaned with satisfaction, collapsing onto a nearby downed log. Sasuke joined him a moment later, clicking off the flashlight to immerse themselves in complete darkness. He reached into his pocket for a much-needed cigarette. Beside him, Naruto shifted.
"Have I ever told how much I love you?"
Sasuke took a long drag of his cigarette as he leaned back comfortably on his hands. He stared up into the black, unable to see the stars through the branches. He would accept Naruto's gratitude for now. "You're welcome," he said.
He could feel Naruto move again, the heat from his body pulsing against his arm. He knew if he turned, Naruto would be right there, closer than ever, staring right at him. The hand on his arm told him as much. He kept his gaze turned skyward.
"No, I mean," Naruto paused and grappled with the front of Sasuke's shirt before finding purchase at the collar. Sasuke found himself jerked uncomfortably towards Naruto's face. Their lips collided painfully, but Naruto tried to soften it by pulling back slightly even as Sasuke remained unresponsive. When he pulled away, he said, "I love you."
Sasuke stared at the features that were slowly becoming visible in the dark. Naruto looked more nervous admitting this than he did when confessing he'd killed a man. Sasuke's own expression remained unchanged; brows furrowed, mouth pulled into a frown. He was irritated.
"Naruto," he said finally. "I just buried a dead man in the middle of nowhere. I'm not exactly feeling very romantic."
Naruto's grip loosened, his hand lingering at the bunched fabric, but he laughed. There was not a care in the sound and Sasuke wondered if the nervousness he had observed before had only been an illusion from the dark. He felt Naruto's hand slide up to his jaw and the other leaned forward to again press his lips to Sasuke's own unresponsive ones. It was a chaste kiss, Naruto telling Sasuke he had all the time in the world.
"Ok, ok," came the lighthearted response as his hand slid away slowly, leaving a cold trail along Sasuke's skin. "I'll confess to you after your big promotion. When I take you out for dinner."
"I'm not interested."
But Naruto only laughed again. He stood then and reached a hand out towards Sasuke to grab. When he did take hold of it, Naruto's fingers wrapped tightly around his own and he smiled brightly, "Thanks, Sasuke. I mean it. I don't know what the hell I'd do without you."
They managed to make it back to the car in one piece and when Sasuke pulled up into Naruto's driveway, Naruto paused with one hand on the handle to give his friend a cheesy thumbs up in support, "Good luck today."
Sasuke glared at him, "Don't call me in the middle of the night again."
Naruto grinned, "Sure, whatever. I won't." He climbed out.
Sasuke didn't believe him, but he pulled out without a fight, driving away with his gaze alternating between the road and Naruto's waving figure in the rearview mirror until the moron was just a speck.
He made it home just as the alarm went off and he swore at his poor luck. He had been hoping to get a few minutes more sleep before being forced to officially "wake up". With his mind on the upcoming conference, he started his coffee maker before jumping into the shower. He was ready as usual twenty minutes later, coffee cup and car keys in hand, as he walked out the door towards the biggest moment in his life, the events from before already a distant memory.