Thank you everyone for the wonderful reviews for 'The Letter.' I hope you enjoy this new story; a little angst, drama and tears, but still a great message that I pray will move you. This is another one-shot, but I am working on an idea for a much longer story that will be coming soon. Please read and God bless you!
Her Father's Eyes
GodisLoverofmySoul
One-shot, Alternate-Universe
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha
Carol Burnett once said the pain of child birth resembled the feeling of taking your bottom lip and pulling it over your head. What she didn't say is that the actual pain feels like your lips, your nose and your eyes are about to be pulled out of your skull. At least, that's how I would describe it.
Lying in that hospital bed and listening to my mother as she spoke words of encouragement did little to calm my nerves. The contractions were coming faster with every minute, and I felt enormous pressure. Around that time the doctor came in; a cell phone in one hand and a diet coke in the other. I looked at him in disbelief. Of all the times to make a social call, now, with me writhing in extreme pain was not the most opportune time.
Before I could think of all the ways I could murder him, a strong contraction hit me like a Mac truck, and a scream spiraled out of my mouth. That seemed to do the trick, for the doctor closed his cell phone and put his diet coke down on the bed side table. He looked over at me and smiled.
"Well Kagome, are you ready to have a baby?"
'What kind of question is that?' I thought. Of course I'm ready! I was ready the moment I found out I had a human being growing inside of me.
I felt my mother squeeze my hand as the doctor put on gloves and a mask, and positioned himself in front of me. The nurse walked over to my right side.
"Alright Kagome, when I say push, I want you to push like you are about to have the biggest bowel movement you have ever had in your life." I gritted my teeth and nodded.
As soon as the doctor gave the word, the nurse told me to push, and I pushed with all my might. She started to count, and I never thought ten seconds would last as long as it did. When the nurse reached ten, I let my breath out and prepared myself for the next push.
The pain was overwhelming. It literally felt as if someone was taking a hot poker, and ripping me open from the inside out. I made a decision at that moment to give Eve a piece of my mind when I went to heaven. However, nothing would have prepared me for what came next.
"She's crowning. I see the head, and this one has a full head of hair." The doctor motions for my mother to take a look, and she squeals with excitement as soon as she see's the tufts of black hair on the crown of the baby's head.
"Oh Kagome, you're almost there honey." My mother kisses me on the head, but my feelings of elation lasts only a few seconds when I feel a burning sensation I had never felt before. A scream pierces the air, and it took me a few seconds to realize that the horrible sound was coming out of my mouth. I knew what it was the moment it hit me; the dreaded ring of fire.
"Now I need you to push for me Kagome. Push like you have never pushed before."
I gathered up all the strength I had left and pushed, screaming as I finally felt a gush as the baby slipped out.
I had pushed for three hours straight, until I heard the sweet sound of my daughter's first cry.
That was almost three weeks ago. My mother has already left after staying with me for two weeks to help me with Mai. She showed me how to change diapers, how to breastfeed and how to swaddle her. It seems she has taught me how to live the life of a single mother; the life she had lived for as long as I can remember.
I look down at my daughter in my arms, finally asleep. She is so beautiful. Mai has my lips, my heart shaped face and my long fingers, but she has her father's eyes. He had deep hazel eyes, almost a molten color. Every time she looks at me and smiles, I see her father smiling back at me.
Mai twitches in her sleep, and her lips curve into a soft smile. The smile is contagious as I take her hand and play with her fingers.
My living room is small but spacious, and as I look around I see the little reminders that have plagued my mind for less than a year. Inuyasha's overnight bag still sits next to the door, along with his hat and scarf lying neatly on the coffee table. Sometimes I can still imagine him grabbing his hat and scarf, putting them on and kissing me good bye, before he grabs his overnight bag to get ready for one of his many business trips. His coffee mug sits on the little table next to his recliner. It took me a month after the accident to even think about washing it out.
Next to his scarf was my Bible, the edges turned up and wrinkled from use. I could see sticky notes sticking out from the sides, some pink and others green. I looked away quickly, before bitterness took over my joyous thoughts.
The shrill sound of the phone broke my concentration, and Mai began to stir. The thought of her waking up after finally getting to sleep made me want to call the person on the other line every name in the book. I tried to compose myself before answering the phone, but still said a very irritated, "Hello?"
"Kagome, are you okay?"
I let out a breath of frustration into the phone.
"Of course I'm okay, mom. Why wouldn't I be?" I say.
"Haven't you been watching the news? A huge storm is heading your way. They think a tornado is possibly going to come."
With Mai still in my arms, it was difficult for me to hold the phone and grab the remote at the same time. Somehow I managed to turn it to the local news just in time to hear about the 'storm of the century.'
"Alright mom, I see it on the television. You know, usually they say a tornado will hit, and all that comes is a lot of rain and a few hail stones."
My mother would hear none of that.
"You and Mai better get over to my house quickly. You don't have a basement in that small ranch of yours." I roll my eyes.
"Mom, I don't think it will be that bad."
The minute those words came out of my mouth lightning strikes, and soon after the sound of thunder could be heard. A wave of fear sailed through me, but I tried not to worry.
"I'm sure Mai and I will be fine. It's just a thunderstorm."
The wind began to pick up, rattling the windows. At that point, Mai opened her eyes and began to cry.
'Well there went my peace and quiet,' I thought. My mother started to yell on the other line.
"Kagome, please listen to me! That storm is going to be there any-"
The lights started to flicker and then the electricity went out, including the phones.
"Mom, are you there?" The line was dead.
I try to calm Mai down, but nothing would sooth her. The thunder and lightning intensified and hail began to fall, beating the roof like a child beats a toy drum.
My heart started hammering in my chest as Mai's screams came louder and louder. I walk over to the window and pull the curtain back. The sky is dark, with clouds that are low hanging and greenish in color.
I am not a meteorologist, but I know that is not a good sign.
I start to scramble around and grab Mai's diaper bag, and a bottle that was filled with breast milk I had just pumped. I grab a few toys and two bottles of water, and make a dash to the door with Mai in my arms.
I didn't have a basement, but just before he died Inuyasha had built a small tool shed in the backyard. He was going to try and make it bigger, but never got around to it.
I yank the tool shed door open, and make my way through the limited space. It was no bigger than a small bathroom.
There is a chair in the corner and I sit and rock Mai, trying to calm her down. Suddenly, the wind dies down and the hail stops falling. Even Mai is quiet. I take the bottle out and put it between her lips. As she begins to drink, the wind picks up with a vengeance. Out of impulse I begin to pray.
"God, I know I haven't talked to You much since Inuyasha's death, but I need You now. The accident made me bitter towards You. I felt like You gave up on me, and my dreams of having a family with Inuyasah were shattered."
The sound of trees breaking made me jump, and tears begin to form. The wind became louder, almost like a roaring train coming right at me. The various tools start to sway with the wind, resembling a scene from the film "Twister." I start to yell above the noise.
"Why did You take him from me, Lord? Two days after we found out we were having a baby, I get a phone call and an arrogant cop tells me Inuyasha died in a car accident because of a drunk driver. Why weren't You there with him Lord? Why weren't You there?"
I am now sobbing, tears violently falling down my face. Amazingly, Mai stayed quiet the entire time. She stares up at me with innocent eyes; her father's eyes.
Love for her overwhelms me. I start to cry harder, almost hysterical. I try wiping them away, but they keep falling like the hail outside the shed.
It sounded like the tornado was moving closer, and I hold Mai tighter.
"Please Lord, please save me and my child. I know You gave me this beautiful baby for a reason. I know she will do great things for You. Just please, please do Your will in this storm."
With that said I close my eyes and wait for the storm to end. It might have lasted only five minutes, and as quickly as it began, the wind died down and the air was quiet. My eyes were closed for what felt like an eternity, but as I open them, I see small rays of sunlight spilling through the cracks of the shed door. I look down to see Mai fast asleep.
I start crying again, thanking God over and over for saving Mai and me.
Since Inuyasha's death, I had not been able to morn for him. I had been pregnant with Mai, and I had to be strong for my family. I pushed down my emotions and put on a strong front in front of everyone, including God.
Today, during the storm of the century, I have finally let my emotions out. My tears flow freely, but these are clean tears, neither bitter nor sorrowful.
I get up, cradling Mai to me, and push the door open. I expected to see damaged cars and trees pulled up from their roots. What I didn't expect to see was my ranch fully intact and my blue Honda sitting in the driveway.
The tornado had circled my home, making a path of destruction that hadn't touched us.
Cradling Mai to me, I run to the door and pushed it open; I hadn't closed the door on the way out. I looked around, and I realized that nothing was out of place; not even Inuyasha's coffee mug. I go to pick it up, feeling the ceramic in my cold hands. As Mai lie sleeping, I walk into my room and place her in her cradle, the cup still in my hand.
I then realize that his coffee mug should not be how I remember him. Seeing these items everyday for more than nine months has stopped me from moving on. Delusional, I have still been expecting Inuyasha to walk through the door.
I had to move on, because even if I don't want to admit it, Inuyasha is not coming back. I take the cup along with the scarf, hat and overnight bag and threw them into the hallway closet.
I walk back down the hall toward the living room, and slowly sit down on the coach. I try to take everything in, from what happened five minutes ago to what has happened over the past nine months.
I look up, and see my wedding picture on the wall. The smiling faces of myself and my wonderful husband stare back at me. I allow the tears to flow, not ashamed of showing them to God any longer.
I reach over and grab the Bible off the coffee table, relishing in the feel of the soft leather against my fingers. I open it up and the first thing I see is Isaiah 46:4; one of my favorite verses. I begin to read the verse out loud, closing my eyes as I recite the memorized verse.
"Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you."
I open my eyes and smile. God had never left me; I was the one who had left.
Joy blossomed in my chest. The love of God enveloped me and for the first time in a long time, I felt peace.
I knew that it would take time for me to except Inuyasha's death, but with God, all things were possible.
I place the Bible aside and get up to walk into my bedroom, stopping next to Mai's crib. Her right leg twitches as she sleeps, and I can't help but laugh. Her father had the same twitch.
As I watch my daughter dream, Inuyasha's face flashes through my mind; his handsome features, his trademark smirk, and those beautiful eyes. I could lose myself in those eyes.
Instead of the expected feeling of sadness, I feel a warm sensation run through me. I hug myself, never wanting the feeling to end. I miss him so much, but I know that I will see him again.
Even though he is not here physically, his memories will always be here. I am here, and our daughter is here.
Our daughter, with her father's eyes.
I hope you enjoyed it! Please review and tell me what you think. I will try to start my next story as soon as possible. Thanks and God bless!
GodisLoverofmySoul
