But I Do Love You
A/N: So this one starts out right after they walked into the forest. It is just an extended version I thought might be what everyone wanted to see happen, because I know I did! Lol, just a bit of fluff I had to get out of my system.
NOTE: THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN REVISED!
Disclaimer: I do not own anything that you recognize! Oh, and the song is the song from, Coyote Ugly. But I Do Love You is the song name.
"Chloe?"
I bumped into his arm and saw that he had stopped, and was looking down at me.
"We'll figure it out," he said, his voice soft. "We'll handle it."
I glanced away. I was shaking so hard my teeth chattered. Derek put his fingers on my chin and turned me to face him again.
"It's okay," he said.
He looked down at me, fingers still on my chin, face over mine. Then he let his hand fall and turned away with a gruff, "There's something over here."
I don't like to be alone in the nightAnd I don't like to hear I'm wrong when I'm rightAnd I don't like to have the rain on my shoeBut I do love you, but I do love you
"Derek..." My voice shook with a little unease.
I could see that his back tensed, but he didn't turn around, "Yeah?"
"Have you ever had a, y-you know, a g-girlfriend?" I don't know why I was stuttering, I mean it was a simple enough question.
He laughed, "Why do you ask?"
"I was just wondering. That's all," I sighed.
Derek grunted while turning to me. "Is it something you really want to know?"
I wasn't quite sure, but nodded, "Yes."
He smiled, but it soon faded. As long as it took him to reply, I thought he was never going to answer. "There was this one girl I knew, I liked her a lot. I thought she liked me as well, but it turned out she just wanted to get close to Simon."
I felt weirdly embarrassed. "Derek, I – Simon never said any thing about that."
He waved it away, "It doesn't matter." He took some steps forward and then bent down to pick up a giant orange leaf.
I looked own at my feet and shifted uncomfortably. Can I tell him? Can I tell him that I really feel something for him? That I think I -
"Chloe?" He murmured.
"Yeah?" I asked.
"Why so silent?"
I shrugged, but I didn't think he saw. I couldn't hear the steps he took over to me, but I soon felt his heat radiating off his body, and I swallowed hard. "D-Derek, I think I f-feel something for you."
There, it's out.
Silence.
I felt my throat get tight. I swallowed hard while I opened my eyes and looked up. Derek had his back to me. I could see his steady breathing. In his hands, the leaf twirled around in his thumb and forefinger.
The silence was hurtful
I wanted to run. Not like we were running from the Edison Group, but run away from myself. I could tell that I hurt him for telling the truth, though I didn't know why. I knew how hard this would be for him. I knew that he needed to figure out who he was and learn how to deal with his power before bothering with me. I knew that, yet somehow, right now, I didn't care.
But was it wrong that I wanted to be selfish? That I wanted him to know how I felt before something happens to us and I'd never get the chance to.
I wanted to tell him I felt this way since the first time I met him.
I stared at the back of him. I could feel my eyes getting heavier as they began to blur. I opened my mouth to say something but it just snapped shut.
He was standing there, saying nothing to me. My heart gave a thump that welled up all the way to my throat.
"Chloe, you can't feel anything for me." Derek grunted. He stepped back slowly then turned to face me. His eyes bore into mine, as if he was reading my soul. "We're still kids - don't judge what you feel right now."
The leaf in his hand was now crushed in his fist and pieces fell to the ground.
Like my heart.
A tear fell, but I held the rest back. I stuck my nose in the air all the while pushing him in the chest. "Stop telling me what I can and cannot do!" After I pushed him away, my arms came down to my sides into fists. "Derek, I'm old enough to know what I want." I was about to comment more, but my voice trailed somewhere, and I started to back off.
He shifted towards me with a look of tremendous bitterness.
I knew I had made a mistake.
I don't like to see the sky painted grayAnd I don't like when nothings going my wayAnd I don't like to be the one with the bluesBut I do love you, but I do love you
My feet actually moved that time and I had started to run. At that moment, I didn't know what for, but I did anyway. I tripped a few times, but I kept going. If I could just make it to the house, I would be free of embarrassment. At least for now.
I couldn't hear him as he ran behind me and at first; I thought he wasn't chasing after me.
However, just when I thought he wasn't, I felt something grasp my wrist and I yelped.
I spun around to face him.
Derek had sweat glinting on his forehead, and his breathing was ragged. His face was in a painful puzzlement; he looked like he was trying to work things out in his mind. A battle of wits in his body - one direction telling him what he should and the other what he shouldn't. Derek had integrity, and I being foolish already knew he was going to pick the latter. However, I was immensely surprised by his question.
"Chloe, what about Simon?"
I just stared at him, my face nonchalant and my little hint of sadness was almost becoming anger. What about Simon? How could he bring Simon up? Simon had nothing to do with this. There was nothing between Simon and me; I know in my heart that Derek is the one for me. Nothing can ever change that. Nothing ever can change that.
When I didn't respond, he continued, "It would hurt him a lot. I couldn't do that to him."
"And what about you? Can you honestly say you don't feel anything?" I tried to sound strong, but I didn't think he was fooled.
"I know you like him. And I can see he feels the same way."
I growled, "You do not know what I do and don't like when it comes to relationships. Derek-"
"I can see the way you look at each other." His eyes found mine and held onto them, not letting me break my gaze.
I crossed my arms defiantly, "We don't look at each other in any way..."
He shook his head vigorously at me while rubbing his eyebrows with his left hand. "You're wrong."
I laughed righteously, "I'm wrong?"
"Yes." Derek's one nod confirmed his beliefs.
I kicked some dirt aggregately, "You don't know anything about me then."
He looked at me, his eyes showing the smallest hint of pain. "Then fill me in."
How could I fill him in? Everything about me was changing. Maybe he was right. Maybe he knew me more about me, than I knew myself. Could it be? The last few weeks about my life have made such an impact on my old sane life that it seems probable that I would have no knowledge of my new self.
No, I thought.
He had to be wrong.
"You're right." Defeated by my own thoughts, I threw my hands in the air.
He uttered a "Thank you." Then crossed his arms in from of him in the same stance I had a moment ago.
"You're right. I do feel something for Simon. But it is nothing, nothing at all compared to what I feel about you."
Derek's fists clenched, "How do you know?"
My mouth dropped. He was so stubborn it hurt. "How do I know?" I scowled.
He nodded. "That's what I said. How do you know?" His head dropped down to stare at something on the ground near our feet.
I didn't know if I wanted to blow up on him, or just turn and walk away. But not letting him know how I felt would kill me. "When I am with you Derek, my heart won't stop pounding. Your smell makes my head whirl and I get high. Your touch burns me, and I find myself dying to have more..." I couldn't go on. It was useless, I was wasting my breath, and I realized I knew it long before hand.
There was silence again between us, a long never-ending muteness that hurt my ears.
Suddenly, his head popped up and he looked at me. So many emotions playing through them I couldn't get a grasp of anything he was feeling.
Then, he stepped forward.
Love everything about the way you're loving meThe way you lay your headUpon my shoulder when you sleepAnd I love to kiss you in the rain
Derek bent down and kissed me. My whole body felt like jell-o and I began to falter. When he caught me in his arms, I couldn't help but feel fragile. His arms wrapped around me slowly as he pulled me up to his chest and I soon wrapped my legs around his waist.
His kisses were so soft at first. Caressing my lips and making them swollen. Then they became more urgent – needing. It became rougher, but still sweet to the taste. My hands tangled themselves into his hair, and I pulled him closer to me as possible. Knees shaking the moment I felt his mouth move to my neck, fire rose in my whole body, caressing me in warmth.
Derek started to take steps forward, not even struggling with my weight as he pinned me to him. He backed me up against a tree and shifted his knees under me so I was comfortable.
I tried to choke down a moan, but it escaped and it sent goose bumps down his arms, then up to his ears. He brought his mouth back to mine and grasped my bottom lip with his teeth. His whole body started to shutter, his muscles began to ruffle as if he was starting to change into his wolf form. I could feel his whole body tense against mine trying to break the horrible change his body goes through.
Derek broke the kiss, his breathing harsh, and rugged. He leaned his forehead against mine, and looked deeply into my eyes. "Chloe... I c-cant do this." He had to clear his throat and I knew he was fighting as hard as he could to stop. He placed his hands on each side of my face, and sighed softly.
I shook my head, "Please, Derek, don't-"
"Chloe, what if I hurt you? You've seen how bad I can't control my strength." He pulled me closer into a hug, and I felt his heat rise and his body convulse around me.
"I know you-"
"No. As you just said, you don't know me. You don't know what I am capable of doing. I don't even know myself."
Sounds familiar, I thought.
Derek placed me down on the ground like a child and took a few steps back. His head fell down, and he put his hands into his hair. "Chloe, I would die if anything ever happened to you."
I took a step forward, and he held his hand out in front of him, motioning me not to come any closer. "Derek, I understand that."
He looked up at me, his eyes were in pain and distant. "Do you realize I would kill myself if I ever hurt you?" Derek's voice cracked.
"But I want this as much as you do," I whispered, but I knew he heard. I fiddled with my fingers and tears formed in my eyes. "Or at least I thought I did."
Rejection was hard. But I think it is even harder when you know what the other person wants, but know also that it is impossible to have it.
We both stood in silence for quite a while this time. Neither of us wanted to make the next move.
I could hear his breathing and it sounded almost like he was crying. I wanted so bad to go over and tell him it was all okay; that I was wrong to put these feelings on him.
But I could not do it. I couldn't just erase what I feel about him. And at this point in time, I feel everything for him. I never want to let him go; never see him hurt, I want to let him cry on my shoulder and tell him everything was okay.
Why did I have to be so selfish?
I was so lost in my train of thought, that I missed him as he started to move closer to me. By the time it registered in my head that he in fact had moved, he already had grabbed me into an embrace and kissed me so wildly I was stupefied.
He pulled me up on him again and slowly laid me down on the ground. Feeling him all around me was intoxicating. Derek slowly began to trail his mouth down my neck again, and I shuddered. He wanted this response obviously, because he began to lift my shirt over my breasts.
I was first though. My hands found the bottom of his shirt and tugged – though nothing happened.
Derek noticed that I had failed terribly and knelt up on his knees to take it off.
When he did, I blushed. I could feel my face turning an awful red shade and I tried to hide my face with my hands.
He bent down and seized them, "Please don't..." His voice was husky, and I felt my stomach flip. "I love it when you blush, it's amazing."
He looked me straight in the eyes before he planted a kiss on me. And again, shivers went through me. Soured through me like a million little fires, heating my body in response.
"You don't know how long I have wanted to hold you like this." Derek lifted my shirt up and over my head. He spilled kisses over my chest and down my stomach. Nipping me with his teeth every few inches making me howl in bliss.
I reached my hands to his face, my delicate hands forming around his cheeks, "And I, you." And I kissed him again, and again.
The passion flowing from him was fierce. Almost like this was the last time we were to see each other, and he wanted me to know it. Derek shoved his knee in between my legs, spreading them like eagles.
I was scared, but my body ignored my fear and opened farther for him, welcoming him to something I had never even close to experienced. My back bowed upwards to him in every way possible until we finally came together as one.
I don't like to turn the radio onJust to find I missed my favorite songAnd I don't like to be the last with the newsBut I do love you, but I do love you
We lay next to each other in a warming embrace. My head was bobbing every time he inhaled deeply. He was everything I could have ever wanted, plus so much more. The morning horizon will soon make its appearance and I felt as though I never wanted to move away. I never wanted to leave him. I felt so small, dainty and protected with his arms around me.
Derek shifted from his spot that he was holding me in. "I'm sorry for leading you along, Chloe. And I know you don't feel what you think you feel for me. It was just teenage hormones. You will figure that out soon enough and I hope you won't be mad at me for it."
I shook my head as fast as I could, reaching for him, "No. I meant everything-"
He muttered slowly, "Its okay. I understand. I'm used to being blown off, just ask Simon." Derek breathed in harshly. "He's better for you anyway."
Derek stood up, and began to get dressed.
I didn't want it to be this way. I wanted us to be together. Oh, why can't anything go right for once? Why was he like this, so stubborn? I grabbed for my shirt. Pulled up my pants and let a tear fall. I was hurt and confused. "So, you mean, y-you d-don't f-feel anything for me. After that-"
A distant crack cut me off. He lunged and hit me in a football tackle. I toppled over. Derek quickly lifted off me, but stayed over me, like a shield ... or more likely making sure I didn't jump up.
He'd already found the spot. What he dug out, though, wasn't a tranquilizer dart.
A tear rolled down my face again for him and I wasn't sure he could hear me - actually I was absolutely positive that he couldn't hear me as I whispered into the morning, "But I do love you, Derek..."
And I don't like to be alone in the nightAnd I don't like to hear I'm wrong when I'm rightAnd I don't like to have the rain on my shoes
But I do love you ... but I do love you
A/N: Well, what did you think?
Preview to next chapter:
"Uh, are you in grade school still?" She mocked.
"Tori!" I huffed.
She shrugged slightly, "Sorry. I just think he should know."