The Coconutcracker
Chapter 1: Christmas Eve
Christmas is a special time of the year. It is a time where families come together to exchange gifts and to be glad to have one another. But Christmas is no mere holiday on a calendar. You see, Christmastime has its own unique type of magic. Let this story be a good example to you.
Our story begins at a large house in the countryside. Snow has piled up around it, but its coldness did not penetrate its strong stone walls. The inside was much warmer than the outside and was decorated all over with decorations. This was because it was Christmas Eve and they were going to be throwing a grand Christmas party. The grownups were all waiting for the guests to begin so the party might start. But none were more anxious that the children.
Angelilo finished placing the last of the holly on the side tables. "Oh I can't wait until we get to open the presents," she said, "I really hope I get ballet shoes." Angelilo was only 14 years old, but she had dreams of becoming a famous ballet dancer someday. She practiced often, but it was hard to do without any proper shoes. Angelilo tried a few steps of ballet, imagining an orchestra playing as her red dress fluttered around her.
"Are you trying to dance again?" said a voice. Angelilo looked to see her best friend, Victoria. Victoria was staying with her family while her parents were busy in the city. Victoria was a good friend, but she mostly thought of gears and pulleys than music and dance. "Well if I'm going to be a dancer, I have to practice," said Angelilo. "Yeah, but it'd help if you didn't stagger around like a rhino with too many whacks to the head," said Victoria. "You'll see, when I get proper ballet shoes, I'll be the belle at every ball." "Uh-huh, yeah, sure, I hope I get more tin soldiers," said Victoria as she brought a bowl of punch over to the refreshment table. "What is it with you and tin soldiers?" asked Angelilo. "I don't have quite enough to reenact the Battle of Waterloo," said Victoria, "Battle mechanics can be so interesting." Angelilo shook her head. She'll never understand that part of Victoria.
Just then the front door opened. Through it stepped a large man wearing a traveling suit and a top hat, an eye patch covered one of his four eyes. "Uncle Jumbameyer!" cried Angelilo as she ran to hug him. He was really her godfather, but it was simpler to just call him 'uncle'. "Ah, Angelilo, you are getting bigger in front of mine own eyes," said Jumbameyer, "Victoria, why are you here and not at your own home preparing tasty nuts over flames?" "My parents have some business in the city," said Victoria, "so I'm staying here for the holidays." "Ah yes, I had forgotten that. It is good thing I remembered to bring your present with me."
"Can we have our presents now, Uncle Jumbameyer?" asked Angelilo excitedly. "Ah, ah, ah, is not Christmas yet, will have to wait for tomorrow." "Please?" begged Angelilo, giving him a look that only the heartless could say no to. "Well…" Jumbameyer glanced at the Christmas tree and saw the several presents under it. "I suppose it will do no harm if my presents come first," he said. He put down the sack he was carrying and pulled out two boxes. "Here, be quick with the removal of paper and ribbons before other guests arrive."
Victoria quickly unwrapped her present and opened the box. Inside was a castle the size of a small wedding cake. It was completely mechanized with clockwork figures. "Cool," said Victoria, "Thanks Mr. Jumbameyer." Jumbameyer twisted the turrets on the spires, winding up the clockwork figures and starting them in motion. "That should keep it wound up for 24 hours," said Jumbameyer, "Be mindful that figures are not meant to be removed from tracks."
Then Angelilo opened her present. Inside the box was a small wooden doll that looked like an odd blue creature wearing a soldier's uniform. "What is this?" asked Angelilo. "That's a nutcracker," said Victoria, "you know, for cracking nuts." "Ah, but is different from regular nutcrackers," said Jumbameyer, "This one is designed to crack open hardest of nut shells, even coconut husks." "So it's a coconutcracker," said Angelilo. "I suppose it could be called that, yes."
Angelilo looked at the coconutcracker. In spite of its odd look, it was quite charming. A small lever in the back opened its mouth, showing the sharp teeth for cracking open coconuts. "Why does he look that way?" asked Angelilo. "Ah, that is interesting story," said Jumbameyer. He checked his pocket watch and said, "Since there is time before festivities, I will tell story about coconutcracker's appearance." Jumbameyer sat down in a wingback chair as Angelilo and Victoria waited for him to tell the story.
Well, there's the first chapter of this year's Christmas parody. Just so you know, I'm not trying to parody straight off of Barbie's version of The Nutcracker, nor The Nutcracker Prince. Rather, this parody's going to be taking a slightly more unique spin on the classic tale, which may borrow some ideas from the aforementioned films. This is also Angelilo's first appearance in a parody, which should be worth noting. The update schedule of this story's going to be somewhat erratic, but it'll probably smooth out after I go see The Nutcracker ballet on Sunday. So please remember to review.