Murders, Lies and Hundred Dollar Bills
Let me tell you about Revanna, a great city bathed in tradition and wealth. All sorts of men of high status lived there, each one believing they had power. But in this city, even the rich were controlled…by the mob. Working in the shadows, the mob had their finger in every dirty deal (and most of the clean ones) that went down in Revanna. Everybody owed and everybody paid, they had to, it was just plain stupid to try and outrun them and suicide to try and outsmart them. Most people with a head on their shoulders didn't even bother, the daily news was full of enough pictures of the mob making "examples" of clients who skipped out on their debts to make even the most determined of men think twice. The rich pretended to run things with the mob lurking behind them, cruel puppeteers pulling at the strings of the people.
Now as I mentioned before, most people just paid the mob and went about their business, but let me tell you about this one guy, he was what we call the "exception to the rule." He fought the mob and won…well sort of. He's alive, which is more than I can say for everyone else who tried to run from the mob, but his story is what most authors would call a fool's tragedy.
His name was Nastagio degli Onesti, a strong Italian name by any standards. He came into a load of money after the "accidental" deaths of his father Carmine and his uncle Paulie. From then on out it was easy street for Nastagio. He quit his job at the sausage factory and settled down to a life of high end soirées and low end bars.
It was at a particular bar that Nastagio met the girl who would come to bring him all of his troubles. Now this chick was some of the finest Italian tail you could ever lay your eyes on. Dark hair, dark eyes, dark skin, and a mouth that would make a nun faint. She had the walk, the talk and the squawk, that fine Italian cackle that sounded like angels singing, well tone deaf angels anyway. Nastagio merely glanced her way and his eyes were stuck on her the entire night. Sure he flirted with the other girls in the bar, but he was soon overcome with a desire for this mystery woman. His eyes were transfixed on her hips as they moved seductively as she walked, while her leather miniskirt squished and squeaked. The girl he had been talking with finally had enough of him and dropped her drink in his lap, but he didn't care. His eyes wandered upwards from her hips to her torso, which was "covered" by a barely there Versace top. Up and up his eyes went, past the torso…well maybe linger there for a little longer. Finally past the torso and up the shapely neck, next the ruby red lips and perfect Italian nose, up to her baby blues…contact! Everything slowed down for Nastagio as the woman of his dreams look right at him. She smiled a little, showing slightly crooked but white teeth and sauntered over to where Nastagio had positioned himself. Nastagio tried to make himself look presentable: smooth back the hair with some spit, adjust the gold chain, and flash the Rolex, perfect as usual.
She glided over to his area, her heels clicking and crunching on the floor and the various food deposits that were strewn all over it. Who did this snake charmer think he was? He wasn't going to use his masculine wiles on her. She was a lady, and she didn't take crap from any Italian scum bag, let alone sleazy men like this one. She'd show him though, the night was about to come crashing down for this man at the hands of one Carmella Victoria Russo. She approached him warily, but with a forced toothy smile on her face, no need to scare him off right away. Sitting down, Carmella notes the growing stain on the man's crotch, a turn off already. "Um…you've got something on your pants."
"Well you move a lot faster than a lot of my dates babe, but I can roll with it."
Carmella rolled her eyes, a smooth talker with bad pick up lines, just her type. "I'm Carmella." She held out her hand and Nastagio took it and gently kissed it. "I'm Nastagio, I'm sure you've heard of me." Of course Carmella knew who he was, he was hailed as Revana's sleaziest playboy, but she feigned innocence. "Never heard of you. Care to buy me a drink?" Nastagio's eyes lit up with the prospect of impressing this woman with his wealth. He quickly pulled out his wallet and paid for a couple of drinks with a large bill while flashing his fat wallet full of credit cards and even larger bills. He saw Carmella's eyes light up as he flashed his money at her. What he didn't see was her lips curling upwards in a sly smile as she sipped her drink. You stupid, stupid boy, she thought, I'm going to have fun with you.
The night had ended uneventfully, much to Nastagio's protests. His attempts at a good night kiss were trampled by a closing door and a phone number with the urges to "call me" thrown at him. He just chalked it all up to Carmella being knocked off her feet by his incredible charm and promised himself that the next time, with a little persuasion, Carmella would be his. The next few weeks were like a blur to Nastagio. Determined to win fair Carmella's affections, he showered her with gifts and trinkets, expensive and extravagant gifts and trinkets. A mink coat, a new Prada bag, and one of those small yappy dogs you could fit in the palm of your hand (whom she aptly name Muffin Top, because "who likes the bottom of the muffins?") were just three droplets in the ocean of wealth he bestowed upon her. He saw her almost daily, and when he didn't he was either calling her or texting her on her new T-Mobile Sidekick. Carmella was getting sick of him constantly glued to her either physically or technologically, but she had such a good thing going she stuck with it. Nastagio was a goldmine, and Carmella was going to pick him clean. It didn't even look like Nastagio minded; he just kept spending money and watching his vast fortune slowly dwindle away. Soon he realized that he had almost no money left, but he was still madly in love with Carmella. In fact, he was so in love with her that his next move was to pop the big question, however the elaborate ring he wanted to buy Carmella was out of his price range. This stunned Nastagio, nothing had ever been out of his price range. He didn't know what to do; everything had always been handed to him on a silver platter and as a child, Nastagio had been denied nothing. So he did the only thing he knew how to do, he went to ask someone else to fix his problem. He went to the only two men he knew he could trust: his best friends Louie and Mario.
"So Louie, how am I gonna get enough dough to buy this ring for Carmella?"
"Nastagio, are you sure this donnaccia (AN: italian for slut) is even worth it?" Louie smiled, revealing rotting teeth. Louie was what Italian's call a "grassone" or in the nicer English: "one who enjoys food to the point where his girth is so large that small planets orbit around him." He also had enough grease coming out of his pores to open up his own pizza parlor, a true picture of putridity if you could ever see one. Louie got up from the couch, hitched up his pants and walked around to where Nastagio was sitting. He then proceeded to clap Nastagio on the back and wheeze out what was supposedly a laugh. "I'm just kiddin'. Mario, what do you think we should do?"
"How about the Don? He managed to get me this new rock that trips me out like never before." Mario managed the sentence through drags of a cigarette. Mario was the polar opposite of Louie. He was tall, wiry and pale. He was also an addict. To what you may ask? Anything and everything. He chain smoked, drank in excess, did lines of cocaine like it was powdered sugar and popped pills left and right. If anyone knew how to swing a deal, it was Mario. "Yea the Don, that's a great idea! I hear it's his daughter's wedding too, so he'll be granting favors." Nastagio nodded, the Don would surely give him a loan.
The Don was the leader of the mob, the mastermind behind the muscle if you will. He was powerful, intelligent and intimidating and his soldiers were fiercely loyal to him. He commanded the presence of the room every time he entered one, and everyone played to his every whim. Nastagio knew that he would need to be respectful, so he put on his best suit and bought a small gift for the bride. As he walked to the Don's office, gift under his arm, he looked more like a nervous teenager waiting to go to the prom than a once-millionaire. He softly knocked on the door, and after a few seconds he heard a loud "come in." Nastagio entered the luxurious office lined with paintings. There wasn't very much in the way of furnishing though, just a couch, some chairs, a lamp, and the Don's huge desk. The mahogany monstrosity took up the better part of the room. Papers and folders were strewn across it. Behind the desk and past the Persian curtains, you could see out through the large windows and into the courtyard where the wedding reception was being held. People were talking and music was playing, but Nastagio couldn't hear it. The room blocked out all outside sound. It was dead quiet, a pin could drop on the posh carpeting and you would be able to hear it. Nastagio slowly approached the large desk, behind which sat a large leather chair, in which the plump Don sat. He was graying around his temples, but that only added to the illusion of power incarnate sitting in front of Nastagio. Beady black eyes looked Nastagio up and down while a ringed hand stroked the Angora kitten sitting in the lap of the most influential man in Revanna. The Don leaned back in his chair casually and said is a slightly raspy voice: "Why have you come to me?" Nastagio couldn't help but swallow hard. This is it! Don't screw up! "Mr. Don, sir, I've come to ask a favor."
"You come to me to ask a favor, this on the day of my daughter's wedding?"
"Yes your Donship. Normally I wouldn't even bring my sorry carcass in here, but you see, this is a matter of love." The Don looked intrigued. "Love you say?" And out came the story. Nastagio spilled the whole tale out in the office, sparing no detail. "So you see," Nastagio's voice quivered, "I really want to marry her, but the ring…it's expensive. So I was hoping," Nastagio took a hit of oxygen, "that you would give me a loan so I can buy the ring for Carmella." The Don was in deep thought; the hand that was stroking the kitten was now stroking his invisible beard. "You come to me on the day of my daughter's wedding and as me for a loan out of love for a woman? I am amused." Nastagio looked crestfallen, but the Don's hand came up to stop him. "I am amused…but not heartless. I did say that on the day of my daughter's wedding I would grant favors, so I will grant you this. But be forewarned, I expect you to pay me back with extreme efficiency, please do not make me come look for you." Nastagio was absolutely ecstatic; he would be able to marry Carmella after all. "Thank you sir, and don't worry, I'll pay you back, that's a promise."
"I intend to hold you to this promise," the Don said while writing out a check. Nastagio took it and after depositing his gift for the wedding in the instructed pile, rushed out of the reception to the bank and subsequently the jewelry store. Nastagio spent all of the Don's money and bought the ring: a custom made one-of-a-kind pear shaped yellow diamond with a forty eight caret gold ruby encrusted band. He then rushed off to find Carmella and propose. He took Carmella out to an expensive dinner, champagne included. After the dinner, they went for a walk on the Revanna pier while the sun set. The last few red hairs of the sun could be seen just above the horizon when Nastagio stopped and got on one knee. "Carmella," he said, "I love you and I want to be with you forever…" His speech was a blur to Carmella because her mind never stopped plotting. Jackpot Carmella! Marry this sorry son of a bitch and you'll be living in the lap of luxury for the rest of your life. She snapped out of her stupor and realized that Nastagio was still talking. She was going to cut him off and just answer him when she heard a sentence that made her face turn white. "I'm not a rich man anymore; in fact I needed to take out a loan just to pay for this ring. But, I'm sure our love will be enough." Carmella looked at Nastagio with wide eyes. "Hon, who did you get this loan from might I ask?"
"The Don, why do you ask? "
"The Don? Do you realize what you've done? He won't stop coming after you until you pay. What are you gonna do?"
"Work it off I guess. I may have been rich, but before that I knew how to work. I'll get my old job back at the sausage factory and work off my debt. As long as I'm with you, nothing will keep me down," Nastagio smiled hopefully. "Are you kidding me?" Carmella yelled, "I don't need this shit and I don't need you anymore. I'm not gonna live in a shitty one bedroom apartment eating beans out of a can just for your love. You have nothing I want anymore, so I'm leaving! You can take that ring and shove it up your ass for all I care, we're through." With that, Carmella stomped off to her mother's house, not forgetting to take all her stuff and left Nastagio on one knee looking absolutely dumbfounded. What had just happened? The woman he had poured his heart and soul out to, the woman he was willing to give up his playboy ways for, the woman he had spent his fortune on just walked out on him, and took the fortune with her. But no, Nastagio would not be beaten. She was just overwhelmed by the moment and would come to her senses and realize that she was making a mistake. Then she would come running back to him with open arms, ready, willing and able to be his faithful wife. Yes, just some nervousness and fear, nothing to worry about. Nastagio headed back to his house and put the ring in his safe, intending to bring it out only to give it to Carmella.
Days and eventually weeks went by and Nastagio hadn't heard a word from Carmella. Everyday he would wake up and sit by the phone staring off into space, not moving from that spot in case Carmella called. He didn't get dressed, he only ate what his butler brought him, and he rarely showered. If the phone managed to ring, he would perk up until he saw that the caller ID proclaimed it was one of his friends or another random number, and then he would just sigh, pick up the phone and slam it back down on the receiver. After a couple of weeks Nastagio looked like a mess. His hair was all ratty and tangled, his face was unshaven, and there were bags under his eyes. His friends tried to visit him, but he wouldn't come to the door so they just stopped coming. Nastagio sat in the darkness and solitude waiting for his love to call, the poor delusional fool.
Nastagio's friends knew that this couldn't go on. Carmella seemed to be the cause of Nastagio's depression, so they decided that something needed to be done, and they knew just who to go to.
As Louie and Mario entered the Don's office, they could see that the Don was perturbed and that he didn't seem too happy to see Louie and Mario. "Gentlemen, I am in a very precarious situation here. I wonder if you'll be able to assist me." A very excited Mario nodded hastily, "we'll help you anyway we can sir."
"Good boys, good. This predicament that I am in is the fault of your very good friend Nastagio." The two men's faces suddenly fell a little. "You see boys, some time ago on the day of my daughter's wedding, your friend Nastagio came to me to ask for a favor. He told me a very convincing tale of love and affection, one which I for some reason bought. Perhaps it was because my beautiful daughter Candy was getting married," he trailed off as he showed them a picture of what could only be described as a monstrosity in a wedding dress, looking something like a cross between a werewolf and the Swamp Thing. The two men tried not to look repulsed as the Don continued. "Maybe is was the wedding, maybe I was feeling generous, but I agreed to bestow a substantial amount of green upon dear Nastagio, bearing in mind that he would pay me back with the utmost haste. It has been weeks since we had made this agreement, and I have not seen one cent of what Nastagio owes me. What I find more disturbing however, is that all of my attempts to contact Nastagio have failed. I am being deeply disrespected by Nastagio and I am very unhappy." Louie and Mario's faces went contorted in looks of pure fear. The Don was upset and if they didn't do something soon, the Don would send his hit men after Nastagio, and there wouldn't be enough of their friend left to fill a matchbook. Louie stepped forward and attempted to explain the situation, the problem with that being that neither Louie nor Mario knew what was going on. Nastagio never mentioned anything about marriage to them because he wanted it to be a surprise, and since that fateful day they hadn't even seen him. Louie stuttered for a few minutes trying to appease the Don, but that only served to make matters worse. "Enough!" yelled the Don. "I have heard enough excuses. I will not be disrespected anymore by you or Nastagio." Louie and Mario cowered in fear; they had really upset the Don and who knows what he might do? The Don was seething, but quickly regained his composure. "Boys, you will deliver a message to Nastagio. Either he comes up with my money within the week or I'm gonna send Bulk and Skull over here to visit him." In walked two large groupings of muscles, each with a small head attached. They loomed over Mario and Louie, both of whom were trying not to wet themselves. The Don sat back in his chair, "capiche?"
"Yes sir your Donship, no problem. We'll tell Nastagio the message right away." With that Louie and Mario tried to walk out, but the double doors were closed and locked by Bulk and Skull before they could leave. "Oh no boys, you won't tell Nastagio, you'll show him." The Don smiled as Bulk and Skull advanced on their prey.
"Master Nastagio! Master Nastagio!" Nastagio's butler Geoffrey came running into the study where Nastagio was sitting as usual. Nastagio snapped out of his stupor when he saw a very beat up Mario and Louie stumble into the room. "Oh my god, what's happened to you?" Louie looked at Nastagio through a puffy black eye. "Natsagio, you need to get out of here. The Don, he's gonna come for you if you can't come up with the money for the loan in a week." Nastagio snapped to attention, "oh my god the money! I don't have it! I'll never be able to make that much in a week. I'm going to die!" Nastagio began weeping on the floor, his head in his hands. Mario hadn't said a single word the whole time; he just held the now red rag to his bleeding head and stood there. "No, you're not going to die, you're going to run." Louie looked stunned and Nastagio looked like he was going to throw up. Even Geoffrey looked nervous. "Run? You're bullshitting me right? You can't just run from the mob," Nastagio said between sobs. "Well it's better than sitting here and waiting for death to come for you. You never know, you might get lucky. Here," Mario emptied his wallet and gave Nastagio all the money he had. "Look, you have a week to get as far away from here as possible. You can start a new life in another city, get a new identity. Take my money, take the ring so you can pawn it or something and get out of here." Louie nodded and also gave Nastagio his money while Geoffrey got the diamond out of the safe. "Master Nastagio, go get dressed and I shall prepare your car." Geoffrey gave Nastagio the ring, which he looked at longingly. A newfound vigor sparkled in Nastagio's eyes. "It's a slim one, but I'll take any chance I can get." With that, Nastagio showered, shaved, and made himself look presentable. He packed himself a small overnight bag and made his way to his car. After hugging Mario and Louie and saying goodbye to Geoffrey, Nastagio sped off for parts unknown.
Nastagio had made some good progress that day and decided to call it a night. To keep a low profile, he found the seediest bar on the highway and checked in there for the night. As he brought his bag into his room, the faint odor of urine and beer wafted into his nostrils. "Home sweet home I guess."
Nastagio decided to take a walk to get the terrible smell out of his system. As he walked down the hallway, he could hear screaming coming from one of the rooms. He rushed over there much to the protests of his better judgment, and pushed the door open a little. To his horror, Nastagio had inadvertently become a witness to Nikki "Muscles Marinara" Scangeal's latest murder. Nikki was a notorious hit man known far and wide for his torturous and barbaric methods with his victims. It was said that Nikki would take his victims, cut them up, cook them with a little marinara sauce and feed them to his dogs. Truly a genius when it came to killing. Nastagio looked on with a pale face as Nikki took a pillow from the stained bed and smothered his target, a young woman not much different than Carmella. Nastagio made a retching noise as Nikki finished the job by stabbing the girl in the throat. Unluckily for Nastagio, Nikki heard him and began slowly walking over to the door. Oh god! Oh god! This is it, I'm gonna die in the hallway of the Roach Motel! No…I can do this. He's a hit man, therefore he's stupid, and I can work with that. The door creaked open and the knife came inches from Nastagio's neck. "What are you doing here? What did you see?" Nastagio put up a confident front and spoke smoothly. "I saw everything, and I must admit I'm impressed. You really gave it to that broad, what did she do anyways?" The knife retreated a few centimeters. "She cheated on her husband with his brother, not something very smart to do to a mob man you know what I'm sayin'?"
"Yea I know exactly what you're saying. You seem like someone pretty handy to have around." The knife retreated a little more and a small smile played across Nikki's face. "Yea, I'm good at what I do." Nastagio put out his hand, "I know, I've heard of you. I'm Nastagio degli Onesti." The knife retreated into its' holster while a wide eyed Nikki eagerly shook Nastagio's hand. "You're the guy who whacked his pop and uncle to take all their money!" Nastagio hastily shushed Nikki, "quiet! As far as we're concerned it was an accident pure and simple alright?" Nikki nodded furiously, "sure sure, I know the deal." Nastagio's eyes lit up, he was having an epiphany. "Speaking of deals Nikki, I've got a hell of a good one for you. If you'll please step into my office we can discuss it." Nastagio lead Nikki to his room, smiling broadly all the way.
A cry rose up in the city of Revanna the next morning. The Don, the man who they said was untouchable, was dead. His lackeys had come into his office at the sound of breaking glass and a scream to see Nastagio sitting the Don's bloody chair, the body of the Don splayed across the table with various shards of glass impaled in his eyes, neck and torso. Next to Nastagio, Nikki stood like a bodyguard, clasping his gloved hands in front of him, drops of blood falling from them to the floor. Nastagio was casually smoking a cigar as the Don's men aimed their guns and cocked the hammers. "Gentlemen," Nastagio said without a hint of fear, "your boss is dead. This puts you in a very precarious situation. So I offer you a choice: you can join me and get a raise, or you can kill me. But let me tell you something, before you even pull the trigger Nikki here will be on you like shit on Velcro. You're all familiar with Nikki Scangeal right? Well he's the new right hand man of the family, and you call be a part of this family too, if you make the right choice." Nastagio sat there without even cocking an eyebrow, at least fifteen men with their guns poised and ready to fire in front of him. The men stood there, what would they do? Slowly, one of the men put his gun down. The others soon followed suit, they knew when they were beaten, even beaten without having thrown a punch. A mob without a leader was not supposed to be.
The news spread like wildfire all over Revanna: the Don had been killed and Nastagio was the new leader. The news soon found its way over to the ever attentive ear of one Carmella Victoria Russo. Carmella was terrified, pure and simple. If Nastagio had managed to subdue the entire mob, how long would it be before he came for her? She may have gotten away with jilting him once, but she would not survive if she tried again.
Carmella took a deep breath and adjusted her shirt. She had gone to the salon and gotten the works done, put on her best outfit and even bought some flowers. Now as she stood outside of the big double doors, there was only one way to describe her emotional state: scared shitless. She brought her shaking hand up to the door and knocked softly. A loud "come in" answered her. The door parted and Carmella took one last breath before walking in. She stopped a few feet from the desk and looked at the man who she had screwed so many months ago. "Hello Nastagio…"
Would you believe that Nastagio married that broad? After all he went through because of her; he still gave her the ring. Now that they're married, he still pampers her, however she now responds to him. She has to; Nikki is always waiting in the rafters to see to it. Nastagio knows it too, but he doesn't care. He got what he wanted: money, power and the girl, or did he? Never have two people been so miserable on the inside and so happy on the outside when around each other.