Wrong House, Doc

She woke up in the middle of the night to see a tall figure looming over her. She couldn't see his confused drunken expression as to why she was there on the right side of the bed. He stood there dazed, looking down on her and she gazed back at him. She finally spoke, "Other side …House." She watched as he limped over to the other side and slowly began pulling down his pants. She heard a cane-like object softly fell on the carpet and semi-full vial of pills landed on her night side table. She watched as he pulled his shirt over his head and climb onto the bed; she remained speechless. Mentally she kicked herself, "Remind oneself to put spare key in a more creative and less obvious place."

The minutes seemed to go by in a second. The figure next to her was now fast asleep and softly snoring. Where a wide space once separated the two humans, it was now a lot smaller, since sometime during the morning, he had rolled over self-consciously towards the middle of the bed. She moved his arm away from her back and rested it on his stomach. She tried to push him towards his side once again, but to no avail. He must've weighed at least eighty more pounds. She sighed. When she was thinking of a college reunion, this wasn't it. Slowly she propped herself up on the pillow and stared at the man next to her. She studied his long face and his dark stubble, his slight crooked nose. How one can change in twenty so years! The famous saying was true: Geeks always prevail…or something like that. Finally, after scooting to the far right side of the bed, she was able to fall back asleep.

House opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. He squinted and shaded his eyes from the blaring sun light. He closed his eyes again and opened them, to see the ceiling had turned a light shade of blue. He gazed around the room with a pounding headache. What the heck? What happened to his room? House was alone, in the middle of a bed, light streaming from two huge windows with white shades. Birds loudly screaming from outside, the smell of freshly cut grass and the sound of a distant someone restarting the lawn mover, came from the two windows. Minutes, later he could hear someone moving things around the kitchen. There was the loud clatter of pans and pots, the sound of running water, glass touching glass, and a dishwasher running. Oww. This was definitely not helping with his increasing headache.

He rolled over to the edge of the bed and swung his legs over. The pain was creeping back with a vengeance. Immediately he glanced over to the side table, hoping a certain orange vial of pills would be lying around. It was not there. Great, how fortunate. Perhaps it could still be in his pants pockets? With gritted teeth, he slowly picked up his pants from the floor. Nope. It wasn't there. He checked the other pockets. Nope, not there either. House quickly glanced at the side table again. When the bottle of pills did not miraculously appear, he knew he was going to get into trouble. Where the heck could it be? Also, where the heck was he? He pulled up his jeans and walked away from the side table, almost tripping on an orange item on the floor. Oh, there was his bottle of pills…and the cane…

House picked up the bottle of Vicodin and popped two into his mouth. He stood there for a minute and looked around the bedroom: pale blue walls bordered with dark blue-stenciled birds, a huge painting of a blue-headed parrot centered on one wall. He stared at the painting as he walked around the room. Creepy. Wherever he went, the bird seemed to be looking right at him. After getting bored with the blue feathered parrot, House grabbed his cane and went out the bedroom.

He wandered through the hall and peering through each room until he reached the kitchen. Someone was in there. He paused. He could hear bread popping out of the toaster and eggs frying on the stove. The person was moving around the kitchen unaware that House was just outside, standing behind the wall and gawking at her.

She had dark complexion and looked to be a feet shorter than him. Her hair was tied in a ponytail and she wore a long white t-shirt and light blue jeans. His stomach grumbled. House decided to make his presence known.

"Who the Heck are you?"

"Oh, you're awake!" the surprised woman looked up from the stove yet didn't answer his question.

"No, I was sleeping. Even though, were eyes are opened, don't let this face fool you."

She smiled shyly for a second, as she flipped over the eggs.

She went over to a cabinet and tossed him a white plastic bottle of Aspirin, "This should help get rid of the headache." She turned her attention back to the eggs after she watched him swallow the aspirin. "Feeling better?"

House nodded and warily watched as she slid the eggs of the saucepan into the brown toasted bread. The toaster popped again. She grabbed another paper plate and placed the bread on it. She smeared a bunch of peanut butter on one side and looked up at him, as she opened the refrigerator, "Grape jelly or Orange marmalade?"

"It doesn't matter." He mumbled. She wasn't going to answer his question, was she?

She looked up again from the refrigerator with a shocked expression on her face, "It does matter! Grape jelly and orange marmalade are two diff---"

"Ok, grape jelly! Jeez, woman." He sighed as she quickly grabbed the purple glass container and sat down at the table, "Now, answer my question. Who are you and why am I here?"

"I'm the mysterious woman, who happens to pay all the bills to this house, even though she has a mysterious roommate who just appeared out of nowhere, The real question, is what are you doing here?" She handed him his sandwich and a full cup of orange juice.

"Are you trying to kidnap me? I just happened to cross your path and you drugged me and…What the heck happened?"

"How could I have kidnapped you, House? You chose to come here."

"Why would I do that? I don't even know you."

"It's a mystery, isn't it? One that I'm still trying to find out. Anyway I

hope you liked the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. One of my specialties." The woman replied as she finally sat down. She paused and stared at her sandwich, before eating.

"Should I be worried?" House asked with his mouth full as he glanced at his sandwich.

"About what? That you went to sleep in the wrong house? Yeah, I would be definitely be worried about that. Do you do this often…and don't you have to go to work? It's almost the afternoon, you know. "

For a second, she smiled sheepishly and glanced back up at him, before taking a bite of her sandwich.

He stared back at her as he chewed, wondering if he knew her from somewhere, wondering how and why he had ended up at her house, of all places. Things always happened for a reason, yet he had never seen her in his life? Or had he?

"Why you didn't kick me out of your house?"