Where's the tag for 'Remnants' when you want to mention K.L.Y. all collectively but they take up all the tag space in a 5-man cast? And I might as well have pulled the title from out of a hat.
It has been a literal age since I wrote anything for FF7, let alone anything I actually finished. And I think the last thing I posted on here for it was some first person nonsense so many years ago. But this? This I like.
This is also a very different and weird way of writing for me. Like the present-tense style. Not my normal thing unless I'm writing an outline.
Also I apologise in advance for my excessive use of italics. I use it for emphasis, for thoughts AND for what I call plot whispers.
The music kind of sets the mood/pace of the chapters, so look them up and just have them playing in the back while you read if you can.
Name: Fragments
Song: A. Krishna - Once Upon a Dream ETHEREAL REMIX
Remnants don't dream.
The first time Loz wakes up somewhere else, alone and without his brothers, he does what he does on instinct.
He cries.
He doesn't where he is. It's cold and dark. The walls around him are a pale grey, with vile, black, viscous fluid slowly oozing in thin strips from the ceiling that pool on the floor in slowly growing lumps, like wax. He's in a tunnel; on either side it stretches on endlessly into infinity, but there's a gentle curve to it as well. He knows this because the tunnel grows darker at the ends and he can see the walls lean out of view.
But that was before he started crying.
He wants Yazoo. He wants Kadaj. He'd even settle for Big Brother at this point.
"Oh!"
He hears the voice of a woman. He knows it doesn't make sense – there was nobody else in the tunnel with him. That's why he's crying at all.
"Don't cry, dear."
He wipes his eyes and looks up. She says what Yazoo says, but it makes him feel different.
The woman is standing in front of him. She's wearing a weird white dress with ruffles and no midriff, and a long matching bit of fabric loops around her arms.
Her hair is long and brown – warm brown, not dark like the dirt he knows he fell asleep on. Her eyes match. He doesn't know what expression she's looking at him with.
"I'm not crying!"
His protest makes her surprised. There are clearly tears still streaming down his face, even as he rushes to stand up, to regain his modicum of dignity in front of this stranger. By this point, it's become an automatic response; Yazoo says not to cry and he tries not to, even when he really, really wants to.
"I didn't mean…" She stops, eating the words about to come out of her mouth.
He's standing up now, but he's slouched and upset and he doesn't want this strange lady. He wants his brothers.
"It's alright to cry, you know."
He scowls at her and shakes his head furiously.
She watches him. Her arms are together in front of her. She's not a threat. She's safe. He can't know this for sure, but it's an instinct.
"'daj says it's bad, and Yaz hates it."
"Who are they?"
"M-My brothers." He cries again. "I-I can't find them!"
He's crying so hard the tears are blurring his vision.
"It's alright." She speaks softly and there's a touch on his back. He blinks, trying to see properly again.
The lady is beside him. She's patting his back. It's a very ineffective attack. He's a little bit dumbfounded by it, in truth.
"What's your name?"
Pride bubbles in his chest. Nobody's asked him that yet. Nobody's wanted to hear the name he gave himself when he and his brothers crawled out of the Northern Crater.
"Loz!"
Her smile grows. "Mine is Lucrecia."
Her hand settles on his shoulder, and he feels that the grip behind it is gentle – hardly a grip at all.
"Can you tell me what happened, before you found yourself here, Loz? Maybe that will help in finding your brothers."
He sniffs and wipes his eyes with the back of his hand again. He just notices that Dual Hound is missing. Even the Velvet Nightmare strapped to his thigh is gone.
He scowls at her. She leans back, wary.
"Who are you?" he growls.
"I just-"
"Who are you!?" he shouts again, barreling through her timid response. She steps back now, holding her hands to her chest.
He stalks forward, low and tense.
"Loz, please, I haven't come here to hurt you." Her voice is shaking. She's scared. "I've been here alone for so long, I-" The words fail her and she steps back, shakes her head and ducks it low.
"I'm sorry!"
The world distends and twists around him. The woman is still backing away. She seems unaffected by the changes happening around her.
No sound passes his lips. The world collapses in on itself, crushes the view of the woman from his eyes before smothering all to a messy, paste-like black.
When Loz opens his eyes, it's to the feeling of a fist hitting his upper arm.
He fights the instinct to slam his fist into the perpetrator once he hears the voice of his longer-haired brother.
"Gracious, I thought you'd never stop twitching and sobbing."
Loz turns his head to see Yazoo folding his arms back across his chest and leaning his back against the tree.
The tree.
Loz sits up sharply, eyes wide. There is no tunnel, no black tar. No woman.
"Where was I?" he blurts it out to be met with a derisive snort.
"Asleep. Where did you think you were?" Yazoo's voice is always cool and unshakable, always measured, even when he makes jibes.
"No!" he insists instead of cowering back from the shadow of sarcasm – the most Yazoo can manage. Loz pulls his legs up under him and stands, kicking dirt up.
Yazoo watches with a very delicately growing frown. Loz's frenetic actions do not bode well for their third brother. Kadaj has trouble sleeping as is.
"There was a woman!" he shouts, distressed, taking steps away from their camp and spinning around.
"Loz, there is no-one but us."
"But I SAW her! We spoke!"
Yazoo's frown isn't one borne entirely of resentment or exasperation now.
"Alright then, brother. What did she look like? What did you speak about?" He asks not just to entertain his panicking sibling, but to learn information.
Loz's scowl only deepens.
"I don't remember."
Yazoo's eyes roll and he almost sighs.
'What else should I expect?'
"But she was warm!" Loz protests. "She was…" he tries to find the word but it's not there.
"Go back to sleep, Loz. You must have been seeing things."
Loz shakes his head. "I can't. I'll take watch."
Yazoo shrugs daintily and settles his back against the tree. His eyes shut seamlessly, and the last thought to cross his mind is 'Thank Gaia Kadaj didn't wake up.'
Three days pass.
And then Yazoo is ripped into a strange place with white walls and black slime.
Velvet Nightmare is gone, he notes immediately.
His gaze is sharp and calculating. He knows he fell asleep. He knows no-one has touched him, or drugged him or kidnapped him.
He surveys the area.
And he sees a figure in white, sitting on the floor some way off.
His steps are silent, and even though he's naturally light-footed he's never made absolutely zero sound. Even his leathers make no noise.
"Where is this place?"
The figure jumps. They turn around before setting eyes on him. Brown, sad eyes.
It's a woman. She gets to her feet and faces him completely.
"I-I'm sorry."
He doesn't frown. He doesn't care enough to. He also doesn't care to repeat himself for this waif.
She seems to realise this.
"I don't know, exactly. I've been here for a very long time, though."
He turns dismissively. She is of no use.
"Wait, please!" He notices, with a barely suppressed flinch, that her footsteps make no sound either.
His only warning is the feather light touch that brushes his arm.
He spins immediately and slaps her hand away.
She pulls it back at once.
"I'm sorry." Her words are genuine, but meaningless.
"I just…You look like him."
Tears gather in her eyes, and he thinks of Loz. Something tells him that a woman crying will give him the same strength of headache twice as fast.
"Who could I possibly look like?"
He asks, if only to distract her from the possibility of tears.
The words that come out of her mouth are not the ones she first thought.
"Another man with silver hair and green eyes."
Yazoo is almost humoured.
Until he remembers Loz's outburst a few nights ago.
"Did you ask him his name?"
She nods, and she smiles. "He said his name was Loz. He was so dreadfully sad." Her eyes lift. "Could it…are you…'daj? Or Yaz?"
He freezes.
She steps back.
"Who are you?"
There's fear in her eyes now.
"M-My name is Lucrecia-"
"What are you!?" he hisses. Yazoo doesn't shout or growl.
"I'm just- I don't know!" she blurts. Tears are falling now. "I don't know! I don't know!"
She drops to her knees and curls up, putting her hands up over her head.
Yazoo's ire quells, though his suspicion is still rampant.
"Don't cry, Lucrecia."
The words are automatic. He knows her name, it begins with an L and she's crying.
She doesn't stop as easily as Loz, and she keeps whimpering, saying 'I'm sorry.' Over and over.
He won't apologise though.
Yazoo rolls his eyes. He thinks of leaving her there, but realises her experience is better put to use.
"How do I leave?"
She looks up slowly, blinks and frowns slightly in apparent confusion.
"You…don't leave."
"Loz did."
"I don't know how he did though."
Yazoo purses his lips, dissatisfied
"What…was he doing?" She asks, attempting to quell him.
"He was sleeping. So was I."
Her eyes widen, and relief washes over her.
"Oh! You must be dreaming, then!" She looks down at the floor, mumbling to herself.
Yazoo is simply puzzled by the explanation.
"Why would I aspire for this?"
She stops talking to herself and looks at him again, then stands.
"Dreaming…You don't understand what that means?"
"To reach for something, to have a goal." His answer is prompt and smooth, confident.
Lucrecia's head tilts. Her tears have stopped, though the marks remain.
"That's one meaning, true. But to dream is what happens to the body when you sleep. It's often how the brain interprets things that have happened while awake. In this case, however…"
"In this case neither I nor my brother know you, or this place."
Yazoo purses his lips.
"So, I am here until I wake." It's a statement. She nods.
"I…still don't know your name."
He slides a narrowed eye to her, weighing the risks, sizing her up.
"Yazoo."
Her face lights up. "I see. So… 'daj' is a nickname for your third brother?"
"It's Loz's nickname for Kadaj, yes."
Her stare is unnervingly secure on him. He doesn't sense any malice or ill-will within it though.
"Yazoo," she begins, and her voice is soft and timid, and for once he doesn't want to break it. "Would you please…stay and talk to me? Just until you wake."
'No' is on the tip of his tongue.
Until he realises he can't go anywhere.
"Fine."
When he wakes, the dream is forgotten. Kadaj has woken him urgently and called for their action.
But it bothers him for the rest of the day that he can't seem to remember something important.
It takes two days more days for Loz to dream.
When he arises in the bland tunnel, he isn't scared of it this time. He knows his brothers won't be there. He knows they won't believe him either, when he returns to their side.
He decides not to say anything when he does.
Loz also decides that he will not cry this time. No matter what.
He wonders if the strange lady is still here.
His steps are strong and confident as he sets off down the hall, ignoring the ooze that drips around him. There's a little bit more than there was last time, the puddles bigger.
He knows he's been walking for some time. He doesn't know how far he's travelled. There is no fatigue in his limbs, no sense of time.
But there is a pressure building on his skull.
At first it's almost nothing, a negligible nagging. But the further he goes, the worse it grows, until it feels like his face is being ground into dirt under someone's boot.
Loz is strong – the strongest. But he cannot withstand the unseen assault on his head. He cannot keep his resolve not to cry. He buckles to his knees and hunches over himself, cradling his head in pain.
Loz wants to speak, to cry for his brothers. But it hurts too much. Like something is screeching into his head.
"Loz? Loz!"
The voice is a woman's. He knows it but he can't focus.
The touch of delicate hands on his shoulders sends a warm tingle rolling over his body. The pain soothes just enough for him to look up, into brown eyes.
"You…" He's too sore to speak more. Lucrecia kneels before him.
"It's alright. I'm not here to hurt you."
He makes a noise – a weak mumble.
"What's wrong, Loz? Why are you crying?" she asks softly.
"Hurts." He whimpers.
"Where?"
"M'head." He knows it's stupid to tell someone your most vulnerable spot when you're weak, but Lucrecia is warm.
Fingers brush through his hair, settle on his forehead, delicately probe for wounds.
He sighs.
"You don't look injured, and you don't have a fever…"
"Inside." He mumbles now. Her touch makes the pain fade, but it's still dreadful.
Lucrecia looks at him, sorrow on her face. He's a juxtaposition in human form. She gathers the hem of her scarf and wipes his eyes with the soft, barely-there fabric. His eyes are sad and confused when he opens them at her touch.
"You have a headache, then. It'll be alright. You just have to rest."
Loz refutes with a feeble head shake.
"Got worse when I came down here. But…you make it better."
Lucrecia's eyes widen at his words. He thinks they look oddly glossy, like marbles.
She makes herself smile. "Then I'm glad to help."
Loz doubles over with a whimper. It's like he was just kicked in the head. Lucrecia is with him, petting his hair slowly, muttering to him, soothing the pain that threatens to split his skull in half. He lets out a small, sad warble and leans toward her.
Lucrecia's instincts move her before she can question herself.
She doesn't deserve to-
She pulls the large man into a hug, his forehead pressing against her shoulder.
"Easy now. It will pass. I'm here. I've got you, baby."
He doesn't really hear her words, but he knows that she makes the pain numb into a dull throb.
Lucrecia's glad he can't see the tears falling down her face.
Yazoo is scowling when he forces himself to sleep on the twelfth day of their existence.
He doesn't know if waking up in the 'dream' tunnel makes his mood better or worse.
"Hello, Yazoo."
Lucrecia's there to meet him. She's standing this time.
"I thought dreams were meant to change."
She shrugs. "I think this is less a dream, and more a chance for us to talk. Have you dreamt of anything else?"
Yazoo looks away dismissively, but he knows the answer is no.
His lack of verbal response doesn't bother her. "Tell me how you've been, Yazoo."
"Why?"
"I like hearing about you and your brothers."
"Why don't you ask Loz then?"
"Loz cries whenever he's here. He doesn't like being alone."
"And you coddle him."
She shrugs helplessly. "Guilty as charged. But…I could never just leave him to cry."
Yazoo glances at her out of the corner of his eye. Her head is lowered, a smile of melancholy on her features.
"I suppose there isn't anything better to do."
Lucrecia doesn't know how she can tell when one of the boys slips into the in-between world, as she's come to think of it. She just feels a tug, follows it and finds herself there at their side.
She wonders if Hojo's 'Reunion Theory' might have some credence after all. She wonders if the residual Jenova Cells in her body are reacting to the ones so obviously in theirs.
Or could it be that their visual similarities to her son are more than just cosmetic?
She's learned from Yazoo that they've only been alive for a little under two weeks. It speaks to her that something has tampered them into being.
She feels the tug. She goes with it.
She blinks and stares.
It's neither one of her boys.
This one has mid-length hair and are those flared leather pants?
"Kadaj."
He spins to face her. She can feel the sensation of her heart, thumping.
His eyes are so cold and sharp, they should be lit with fire and the sounds of a burning town.
His expression softens and she wonders why until-
"Mother?"
Pain. A knot. An ancient ache in her chest.
"Mother…it is you, isn't it?!"
How can she say no? How can she – in good faith – deny him when he looks too much like her son to be coincidence?
"Mother, I-I've been looking for you. Just like you told me!"
Her gut twists, heart aching.
Nothing's changed.
He steps toward her, timid, but daring to be hopeful of praise.
She steps back.
Another boy. Another one misguided and twisted by that parasitic-
"Why…?"
His face morphs into panic and hurt.
"Are you angry at me? Mother, have I done something wrong? Please, tell me!"
Lucrecia swallows the skin-crawling feeling.
"No. No Kadaj, you haven't done anything wrong."
"Then why do you shun me?" He scowls, eyes narrowing, cat's eye pupils slimming.
"It's because I'm not him, isn't it."
Lucrecia inhales. It catches in her throat.
"Because I'm not Sephiroth!"
The name stabs at her heart like a knife.
She doesn't know how he knows that name, but somehow it doesn't surprise her.
"Why is he so special? What has he ever done for you!?" Kadaj shouts.
Lucrecia finds her voice has stopped working. It won't tell him that Sephiroth has never done anything for her, but he is her son so how could she not love him above all else?
"I…I have done everything you asked! I have never asked questions of you! I live to carry out your will. So why do you make us work toward bringing him back!? He failed you! Let me do what you need!"
Lucrecia feels sick. She hasn't felt like throwing up so strongly since she was pregnant.
Bring him back. They want to bring him back. They want to drag his corpse out of its already fragile rest, and stir his mind into nightmarish action once more.
She can't know it's already far too late to worry about that.
Kadaj's face scrunches into anger.
"We love you, Mother. Why don't you love us?"
Lucrecia doesn't feel the tears fall from her face.
"I'm sorry."
The words are automatic.
Two more chapters for this!
It's hard for me to write Kadaj, and Yazoo really. Tell me what you guys think!
Also I get that this whole...dreamscape thingy is really vague - I tried to ground it more and iron out the details but the core idea was just...Lucrecia meeting the Remnants, and it grew from there, so it's a bit all over the place.