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Disclaimer: I own nothing except the pictures in my head
Warning: Well, I can't really say, yet... but you can expect a little language, a little blood, a little magic, and probably a little boy-boy action, but we'll see, yes? This is an AU fic, written by challenge.
Author: Kasey
Archive: Not unless I send it to you.
Status: Incomplete, unedited
Key: /italics/ and *emphasis*
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"Leprechauns"
-Ch.1-
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One-eyed Jei stood at the top of Argye Hill, surveying the scene taking place at the edge of the forest below him.
Although he only had one of his amber eyes left to him, his vision was still many times as sharp as any other man's in Eire. Still, the hill was a tall one, and the climb was long, so the bodies fighting at the base of the hill were blurred.
Four men, all wearing matching navy-blue outfits, were chasing after a fifth, whose clothes were dark grey, and appeared to be torn.
~Uniforms,~ Jei sniffed. ~But not Irish. Not Scotch. Not British. They're mainlanders.~
One-eyed Jei didn't like it one bit.
Argye Hill was *his* hill, his home. On the sunset side, he had built an entire house into the side of the hill, protected by trees and clever camoflauge. He made sure that his work was always done far from here, so that no one would know that this hill, or his home, even existed.
And now, here were mainlanders, running around at the base of his hill, chasing after what appeared to be some sort of mainland thief, judging by the color and state of his clothing. If they came too close...
Jei didn't like having people near his hill.
The fifth man appeared to be fighting back admirably. Wild red hair was pulled back in a pony-tail which was flipped around as the man in grey rolled and kicked, evading his pursuers. One of the uniformed men managed to grab hold of the tail.
Jei could hear the red-head's indignant howl from the top of his hill. He watched, detached, as the man who had succeeded in angering the red-head was wrenched away from the pony-tail, and thrown into one of the other navy-blue men.
The fight was short, from there. Once enraged, the red-head fought like a demon, quickly dispatching the uniformed men with brutal efficiency. He straightened, and Jei could see in the way his chest expanded and fell shortly that he was trying to control both his breathing and anger at once. He walked around for a moment, seeming to regain his composure. He seemed to be studying the forest from the direction he and the navy-blue men had come from.
Jei eyed the bodies of the uniformed men. They were probably minor footsoldiers of some sort or another, but they were human, and that meant that they carried gold. He smirked. As soon as the red-head wandered back into the forest, he would go down the hill, and relieve the soldiers of the gold they would never use.
The red-head wiped his hands on his trousers, then brushed the hair in his face away. Having calmed down, he turned towards the soldiers. He kneeled by the closest one and, in seconds, stripped him of his purse, weapons, and boots.
Jei didn't allow his body to gasp, but he was surprised. The red-head *was* a theif, and a good one, at that. Soon, the four dead soldiers were robbed of their goods, which the red-head stuffed in a rations pack that he had taken from one of them. The boots, however, he tried on one-by-one, until he found a pair that fit.
Leaving his old boots in favor of the newer ones, and carrying the rations pack, the red-head stood, stretching. He looked up at the sun.
Jei could tell by the shadows that it was evening, just about seven o'clock. The thief came to his own conclusion about the time, then looked up the hill, directly at Jei.
Jei's eye narrowed. There was no way the thief could miss seeing him, now. Why had he looked directly this way? Jei knew very well that he had not moved a breath since the five men had come stumbling and yelling out of the forest.
"You're a loat ov help," the red-head yelled up the hill in broken English. Jei recognized his accent immediately as being from the Deutschelands. "Maybe you vait for yust me, then you try to kill as vell, ja? You vant part ov me, come get!" He spread his arms open and growled up the hill. "Vell?!"
Jei said nothing. Maybe the reason those soldiers had been chasing this man was to shut him up in an asylum, somewhere. He must be pretty good, though, to have gotten clear across to Eire from the mainland with *that* kind of personality.
The red-head sat down on the hill, still obviously irate. "You vant not kill, then go avay," he yelled. "I stay here for der nacht."
Jei felt apprehension as he made sense of the Deutscheman's words. What if he were to find his home, on the other side of the hill? That could not be allowed to happen. Once the thief fell asleep, Jei would go down, kill him quickly, take his belongings, and quickly dispose of both him and the four dead soldiers. Simple enough.
"You come down here, I kill you," the thief hollered up at him. "I do not care iv you nefer speak, I know you unterstand vhat I say. Do not think sleeping makes me fulner-habel. Gut nacht."
The theif lay down in the thick grass, using the rations pack as a sort of head-rest. Within moments, his breathing had evened out, and for all practical purposes, he appeared to be asleep.
Jei backed quietly down the hill, towards his home. He would wait until the night was at its darkest before going around the hill to kill the crazy red-head. He simply could not allow the man to wander around the hill, or even to escape with the knowledge that he, One-eyed Jei, lived near here.
Stupid man, to think that by feigning sleep, he could trick Jei into coming down to attempt his murder. Jei had lived by his wits for eight summers; he knew better. He would wait until the man was truly asleep, and then take care of him.
---
Jei had waited for hours. He ate dried foods and grains, rather than cooking fresh meat and letting the aroma alert the red-headed thief of his presence. The moon was at its zenith when the one-eyed man snuck around the hill.
~I'll just get rid o' the threat, and that's that. No one'll know where One-eyed Jei hangs around,~ he thought. ~Ye're a crazy man, mainlander. No one here knows ye, and no one here wi' miss ye.~
The theif was lying on his side, his back towards Jei. His dark grey clothing seemed black against the green hillside. Perhaps in a mainland town, he would be invisible in the nighttime shadows, but not here, in the green hills of Eire.
Jei crept closer. There were no trees on this side of Argye Hill, so no leaves or sticks would crunch beneath his feet. Two blades were in his hands, each coated to prevent reflecting any light.
Ten paces away, nine... Jei knew that he could throw a blade accurately from this distance, but if he were to miss, and the foreign thief were to wake and gather his wits quickly enough, he could escape. Best not to take any chances. Five paces, four... three... two.
Jei pounced, his daggers held firmly in each hand. But as he came down on the thief, red-hair blurred his vision, and he hit the ground. The Deutscheman rolled again, away from Jei, then used the slope of the hill to get to his feet quickly.
Jei pulled a dagger free from the earth, angry at letting himself be fooled by this crazy mainlander. He made as if to back away, feinted, and lunged for the foreigner.
The red-head laughed, kicking the dagger out of his hand and tackling him. They rolled down the hill, grapling for domination and spitting dirt. Jei was reaching for a knife hidden in his boot when the other man grabbed his arm, and flipped him over.
"Vell, vhat you know? I catch a little Irish leprechaun, ja?" the Deutscheman smirked. Jei struggled to pull his face out of the dirt, while the red-head leaned his full weight into the hammer-lock. "Fery dangerous, I hear. You do not look fery dangerous, leprechaun. Maybe you gife me drie vishes, unt I let you go?"
Jei growled into the grass, trying to buck the other man off of him. If he could just reach his boot with his free hand...
"Ah-ah!" the red-head exclaimed, grabbing Jei's flailing hand and pulling it behind his back. "I think you are tryink to escape, leprechaun. But, it is your duty to grant mein vishes, ja?"
Jei sputtered, more enraged than ever. How dare this crazy mainlander call him a leprechaun?! He hissed and bared his teeth, kicking his legs and trying to dislodge the red-head.
"You do not like being called a leprechaun?" the foreign thief asked. "Then you vill tell me your name?" Jei gritted his teeth, not happy about how this entire encounter was going. Damn it all, *he* was supposed to be winning!! "I think, since I hafe beaten you at your own play, you gife me your name," the redhead continued, pressing more against Jei's ribs. "This is fair. Else, I alvays call you leprechaun, unt I vill not rest until I am gifen my drie vishes."
"Fine!" Jei shouted, hoping to get the other man to back away from his ribcage before he crushed him. The red-head lightened up just enough to allow him to breath normally, and Jei gasped in air. "J-jei," he coughed. "One-eyed Jei."
"Hah! You do talk! Unt I am called Schuldich," the thief said into his ear. "Introductions done, I told you, iv you come down der hill, I vill kill you." He sighed. "Vhy no one listen to me? I not try to kill you, I yust vant safe place to sleep."
Jei remained silent, hoping that the man would distract himself enough for Jei to break his hold. Unfortunately, as he mused to himself, the red-headed thief seemed to only lean more weight onto the man below him.
"Maybe you gife me food, unt I let you life," the man who called himself Schuldich pondered. "I still need a place to rest, but food vill gife me energy to get into town." Suddenly, he pulled Jei's head back by his hair. "Tell me, leprechaun," he began, "How to get to closest village."
Jei hissed as his hair was pulled nearly out of his head. "My name is Jei!" he barked. "Let go!!"
"Eh?" Schuldich let go of his hold on Jei's hair. "Right you are. 'Jei' it is. So tell me, Jei, vhich vay to closest village?"
"South," Jei mumbled. "Over th' bridge."
Schuldich leaned over, putting his mouth directly by Jei's ear. "Unt you tell me this, so that I vill lose myselv in vorest, ja? Then you come unt kill me, unavares? Or maybe yust let vairies in vorest curse me? Fery bad plan, Jei. Vhy you not yust gife me correct directions?"
Jei's eye widened. How could a foreigner know about the forest fairies? True, that *had* been his plan... maybe the Deutsche thief was just counter-bluffing him.
"...Turn left, jus' after th' bridge," Jei amended himself. "Foller the path to th' creek. It'll take you right into town."
Schuldich laughed softly into his ear. "But only iv I go *upstream*, ja, Jei?"
Jei swallowed hard. Were none of his plans going to work, tonight? How did this man know exactly when he was lying, and not? "A-aye," he agreed. "Upsteam, but... but be wary o' th' farmer's dogs! They'll tear ye apart as soon as look at ye!"
The red-head snorted. "I can deal vit dogs," he said. "But now... I must deal vit you." Using just one hand to hold Jei down, the thief rummaged through the pockets of his dirty, tattered coat. "Hah!" Suddenly Jei felt ropes running around his wrists.
Schuldich expertly bound Jei's hands with the thin rope. "Since you are such big help, I let you life," he explained. "But, I take these." Not letting Jei up, the thief reached down and pulled the knives out of his boots. "Fery nice, these knifes," he said. "I vill take them to remember you by."
With that, Schuldich released Jei, who immediately rolled and jumped to his feet. By the time Jei had gained his balance, though, Schuldich was already up the hill, picking up his rations pack. He looked down the hill at Jei, and grinned.
"Auf wietersein!" he called, and waved. Then he started down the hill, heading south.
Jei glowered after the mainlander for minutes after he had disappeared from view. He had defeated him! A foreigner with a name that sounded like a *sneeze* had beaten him, *and* taken two of his knives!! How could he have let this happen...?!
Furthermore, how was he going to let himself free? Schuldich had not tied the ropes too tightly, but not nearly loose enough for Jei to slip a hand free. Something a few steps up the hill caught his eye...
One of his blades was still stuck in the ground where Schuldich had been sleeping. He could use that to cut the ropes.
And once he was free...
He would make sure that the crazy, red-haired mainlander would never tell a soul where One-eyed Jei lived.
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Until next time...
Disclaimer: I own nothing except the pictures in my head
Warning: Well, I can't really say, yet... but you can expect a little language, a little blood, a little magic, and probably a little boy-boy action, but we'll see, yes? This is an AU fic, written by challenge.
Author: Kasey
Archive: Not unless I send it to you.
Status: Incomplete, unedited
Key: /italics/ and *emphasis*
---
"Leprechauns"
-Ch.1-
---
One-eyed Jei stood at the top of Argye Hill, surveying the scene taking place at the edge of the forest below him.
Although he only had one of his amber eyes left to him, his vision was still many times as sharp as any other man's in Eire. Still, the hill was a tall one, and the climb was long, so the bodies fighting at the base of the hill were blurred.
Four men, all wearing matching navy-blue outfits, were chasing after a fifth, whose clothes were dark grey, and appeared to be torn.
~Uniforms,~ Jei sniffed. ~But not Irish. Not Scotch. Not British. They're mainlanders.~
One-eyed Jei didn't like it one bit.
Argye Hill was *his* hill, his home. On the sunset side, he had built an entire house into the side of the hill, protected by trees and clever camoflauge. He made sure that his work was always done far from here, so that no one would know that this hill, or his home, even existed.
And now, here were mainlanders, running around at the base of his hill, chasing after what appeared to be some sort of mainland thief, judging by the color and state of his clothing. If they came too close...
Jei didn't like having people near his hill.
The fifth man appeared to be fighting back admirably. Wild red hair was pulled back in a pony-tail which was flipped around as the man in grey rolled and kicked, evading his pursuers. One of the uniformed men managed to grab hold of the tail.
Jei could hear the red-head's indignant howl from the top of his hill. He watched, detached, as the man who had succeeded in angering the red-head was wrenched away from the pony-tail, and thrown into one of the other navy-blue men.
The fight was short, from there. Once enraged, the red-head fought like a demon, quickly dispatching the uniformed men with brutal efficiency. He straightened, and Jei could see in the way his chest expanded and fell shortly that he was trying to control both his breathing and anger at once. He walked around for a moment, seeming to regain his composure. He seemed to be studying the forest from the direction he and the navy-blue men had come from.
Jei eyed the bodies of the uniformed men. They were probably minor footsoldiers of some sort or another, but they were human, and that meant that they carried gold. He smirked. As soon as the red-head wandered back into the forest, he would go down the hill, and relieve the soldiers of the gold they would never use.
The red-head wiped his hands on his trousers, then brushed the hair in his face away. Having calmed down, he turned towards the soldiers. He kneeled by the closest one and, in seconds, stripped him of his purse, weapons, and boots.
Jei didn't allow his body to gasp, but he was surprised. The red-head *was* a theif, and a good one, at that. Soon, the four dead soldiers were robbed of their goods, which the red-head stuffed in a rations pack that he had taken from one of them. The boots, however, he tried on one-by-one, until he found a pair that fit.
Leaving his old boots in favor of the newer ones, and carrying the rations pack, the red-head stood, stretching. He looked up at the sun.
Jei could tell by the shadows that it was evening, just about seven o'clock. The thief came to his own conclusion about the time, then looked up the hill, directly at Jei.
Jei's eye narrowed. There was no way the thief could miss seeing him, now. Why had he looked directly this way? Jei knew very well that he had not moved a breath since the five men had come stumbling and yelling out of the forest.
"You're a loat ov help," the red-head yelled up the hill in broken English. Jei recognized his accent immediately as being from the Deutschelands. "Maybe you vait for yust me, then you try to kill as vell, ja? You vant part ov me, come get!" He spread his arms open and growled up the hill. "Vell?!"
Jei said nothing. Maybe the reason those soldiers had been chasing this man was to shut him up in an asylum, somewhere. He must be pretty good, though, to have gotten clear across to Eire from the mainland with *that* kind of personality.
The red-head sat down on the hill, still obviously irate. "You vant not kill, then go avay," he yelled. "I stay here for der nacht."
Jei felt apprehension as he made sense of the Deutscheman's words. What if he were to find his home, on the other side of the hill? That could not be allowed to happen. Once the thief fell asleep, Jei would go down, kill him quickly, take his belongings, and quickly dispose of both him and the four dead soldiers. Simple enough.
"You come down here, I kill you," the thief hollered up at him. "I do not care iv you nefer speak, I know you unterstand vhat I say. Do not think sleeping makes me fulner-habel. Gut nacht."
The theif lay down in the thick grass, using the rations pack as a sort of head-rest. Within moments, his breathing had evened out, and for all practical purposes, he appeared to be asleep.
Jei backed quietly down the hill, towards his home. He would wait until the night was at its darkest before going around the hill to kill the crazy red-head. He simply could not allow the man to wander around the hill, or even to escape with the knowledge that he, One-eyed Jei, lived near here.
Stupid man, to think that by feigning sleep, he could trick Jei into coming down to attempt his murder. Jei had lived by his wits for eight summers; he knew better. He would wait until the man was truly asleep, and then take care of him.
---
Jei had waited for hours. He ate dried foods and grains, rather than cooking fresh meat and letting the aroma alert the red-headed thief of his presence. The moon was at its zenith when the one-eyed man snuck around the hill.
~I'll just get rid o' the threat, and that's that. No one'll know where One-eyed Jei hangs around,~ he thought. ~Ye're a crazy man, mainlander. No one here knows ye, and no one here wi' miss ye.~
The theif was lying on his side, his back towards Jei. His dark grey clothing seemed black against the green hillside. Perhaps in a mainland town, he would be invisible in the nighttime shadows, but not here, in the green hills of Eire.
Jei crept closer. There were no trees on this side of Argye Hill, so no leaves or sticks would crunch beneath his feet. Two blades were in his hands, each coated to prevent reflecting any light.
Ten paces away, nine... Jei knew that he could throw a blade accurately from this distance, but if he were to miss, and the foreign thief were to wake and gather his wits quickly enough, he could escape. Best not to take any chances. Five paces, four... three... two.
Jei pounced, his daggers held firmly in each hand. But as he came down on the thief, red-hair blurred his vision, and he hit the ground. The Deutscheman rolled again, away from Jei, then used the slope of the hill to get to his feet quickly.
Jei pulled a dagger free from the earth, angry at letting himself be fooled by this crazy mainlander. He made as if to back away, feinted, and lunged for the foreigner.
The red-head laughed, kicking the dagger out of his hand and tackling him. They rolled down the hill, grapling for domination and spitting dirt. Jei was reaching for a knife hidden in his boot when the other man grabbed his arm, and flipped him over.
"Vell, vhat you know? I catch a little Irish leprechaun, ja?" the Deutscheman smirked. Jei struggled to pull his face out of the dirt, while the red-head leaned his full weight into the hammer-lock. "Fery dangerous, I hear. You do not look fery dangerous, leprechaun. Maybe you gife me drie vishes, unt I let you go?"
Jei growled into the grass, trying to buck the other man off of him. If he could just reach his boot with his free hand...
"Ah-ah!" the red-head exclaimed, grabbing Jei's flailing hand and pulling it behind his back. "I think you are tryink to escape, leprechaun. But, it is your duty to grant mein vishes, ja?"
Jei sputtered, more enraged than ever. How dare this crazy mainlander call him a leprechaun?! He hissed and bared his teeth, kicking his legs and trying to dislodge the red-head.
"You do not like being called a leprechaun?" the foreign thief asked. "Then you vill tell me your name?" Jei gritted his teeth, not happy about how this entire encounter was going. Damn it all, *he* was supposed to be winning!! "I think, since I hafe beaten you at your own play, you gife me your name," the redhead continued, pressing more against Jei's ribs. "This is fair. Else, I alvays call you leprechaun, unt I vill not rest until I am gifen my drie vishes."
"Fine!" Jei shouted, hoping to get the other man to back away from his ribcage before he crushed him. The red-head lightened up just enough to allow him to breath normally, and Jei gasped in air. "J-jei," he coughed. "One-eyed Jei."
"Hah! You do talk! Unt I am called Schuldich," the thief said into his ear. "Introductions done, I told you, iv you come down der hill, I vill kill you." He sighed. "Vhy no one listen to me? I not try to kill you, I yust vant safe place to sleep."
Jei remained silent, hoping that the man would distract himself enough for Jei to break his hold. Unfortunately, as he mused to himself, the red-headed thief seemed to only lean more weight onto the man below him.
"Maybe you gife me food, unt I let you life," the man who called himself Schuldich pondered. "I still need a place to rest, but food vill gife me energy to get into town." Suddenly, he pulled Jei's head back by his hair. "Tell me, leprechaun," he began, "How to get to closest village."
Jei hissed as his hair was pulled nearly out of his head. "My name is Jei!" he barked. "Let go!!"
"Eh?" Schuldich let go of his hold on Jei's hair. "Right you are. 'Jei' it is. So tell me, Jei, vhich vay to closest village?"
"South," Jei mumbled. "Over th' bridge."
Schuldich leaned over, putting his mouth directly by Jei's ear. "Unt you tell me this, so that I vill lose myselv in vorest, ja? Then you come unt kill me, unavares? Or maybe yust let vairies in vorest curse me? Fery bad plan, Jei. Vhy you not yust gife me correct directions?"
Jei's eye widened. How could a foreigner know about the forest fairies? True, that *had* been his plan... maybe the Deutsche thief was just counter-bluffing him.
"...Turn left, jus' after th' bridge," Jei amended himself. "Foller the path to th' creek. It'll take you right into town."
Schuldich laughed softly into his ear. "But only iv I go *upstream*, ja, Jei?"
Jei swallowed hard. Were none of his plans going to work, tonight? How did this man know exactly when he was lying, and not? "A-aye," he agreed. "Upsteam, but... but be wary o' th' farmer's dogs! They'll tear ye apart as soon as look at ye!"
The red-head snorted. "I can deal vit dogs," he said. "But now... I must deal vit you." Using just one hand to hold Jei down, the thief rummaged through the pockets of his dirty, tattered coat. "Hah!" Suddenly Jei felt ropes running around his wrists.
Schuldich expertly bound Jei's hands with the thin rope. "Since you are such big help, I let you life," he explained. "But, I take these." Not letting Jei up, the thief reached down and pulled the knives out of his boots. "Fery nice, these knifes," he said. "I vill take them to remember you by."
With that, Schuldich released Jei, who immediately rolled and jumped to his feet. By the time Jei had gained his balance, though, Schuldich was already up the hill, picking up his rations pack. He looked down the hill at Jei, and grinned.
"Auf wietersein!" he called, and waved. Then he started down the hill, heading south.
Jei glowered after the mainlander for minutes after he had disappeared from view. He had defeated him! A foreigner with a name that sounded like a *sneeze* had beaten him, *and* taken two of his knives!! How could he have let this happen...?!
Furthermore, how was he going to let himself free? Schuldich had not tied the ropes too tightly, but not nearly loose enough for Jei to slip a hand free. Something a few steps up the hill caught his eye...
One of his blades was still stuck in the ground where Schuldich had been sleeping. He could use that to cut the ropes.
And once he was free...
He would make sure that the crazy, red-haired mainlander would never tell a soul where One-eyed Jei lived.
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Until next time...