"The Eraser" by Caley, a.k.a. Cayster
DISCLAIMER: I do not own "One Tree Hill" or its characters. In no way, shape, or form have I profited from this fanfic. Lyrics from "The Eraser" belong to Thom Yorke.
Summary: Lucas can't fall asleep ever since he's followed Brooke's orders about not speaking to Peyton and he doesn't know why. Leyton one-shot.
Author's Notes: This little fic came to me when I was listening to the brilliant and amazing Thom Yorke. His LP is simply beautiful, but that's besides the point. I was listening to the song "The Eraser" and the chorus stuck out to me. It made me think of Leyton because the more they try to forget about the other romantically, the more the other becomes irresistible. So yeah. That's that.
Um, Lucas' thoughts are in italics. Also, this story is slightly AU in a few ways. One being that Lucas followed Brooke's orders not to talk to Peyton and it's been a few days after that. Then, the second big one is that Haley and Nathan had no accident on the way to the airport and made it safely to England. Okay? Hopefully ya'll are cool with that.
"The Eraser"
The more you try to erase me
The more, the more
The more that I appear
Oh, the more, the more
The more you try the eraser
The more, the more
The more that you appear
All was quiet in the Roe-Scott household, all except for the tossing and turning of Lucas. It seemed like every night since Haley and Nathan's reception it had been this way. Maybe it was because he envied their perseverance and love. Lucas shook his in response to his own thought, that couldn't be it. Perhaps it was that he couldn't wait for his and Brooke's wedding someday. No light bulb went off in his head.
Huffing and turning once more onto his back, Lucas stared up at the ceiling sternly. "Damn hit," he breathed vehemently to himself once he finally gave up on sleep altogether. Instead, he just simply stared until staring seemed natural and caused his subconscious to come alive.
He thought back to his junior year about how basketball opened his life socially. He never would've thought that he would've been a starter on the team; he never would've dreamed of becoming popular; he never would've imagined being caught in the middle of the most scandalous love triangle ever. Laughing softly at the thought of how Peyton and Brooke were so rebellious towards him once he announced that he was moving to Charleston. But then the funniest part about that was how Brooke became his girlfriend and how Peyton became his best friend.
Peyton. Lucas huffed again thinking about his blonde friend. Ever since the reception, Brooke demanded specifically that he would have nothing to do with the girl. So he complied to his girlfriend blindly, even though he knew it would hurt Peyton like a knife to the back.
Lucas shifted in his bed. Why did the thought of Peyton unnerve him so much? His heart started screaming at that moment as if it was blatantly obvious: he was in love with the tortured artist. Lucas shook his head too quickly; as if automatic and programmed to be a natural response.
"I love Brooke," Lucas whispered heatedly to himself—fighting against his heart for the millionth time since he decided to chase after Brooke again.
Then why am I so numb? He asked in rebuttal. Why do I try to forget about Peyton so hard that I stay up half of the night thinking about her? Why is it when I say 'I love you' to Brooke, and it is Peyton's face that flashes in my mind?
Lucas wanted to scream in rebellion. He loved Brooke. It was a fact, not a futile lie he fed himself every waking moment… or was it? Damn it! He wasn't thinking clearly anymore. Brooke was logical and safe. She was fun and loving. Brooke loved him openly. Then why can't I love her openly and genuinely?
Throwing the covers off of his body out of protest of the inner conflict, Lucas got out of bed. Standing there clad in his boxers and beater, he stared down at the wooden floor of his bedroom. In a fixated, maniacal fashion almost, too. It was as if staring at that floor so adamantly that he would be able to burn it into his mind and heart that Brooke was the only girl for him. The one and only. Then why is it that you picture yourself with Peyton on down the road?
"What the hell!" He cried out, throwing his arms up in the air out of exasperation. His latest effort of convincing himself failed masterfully.
Starting to pace, Lucas bit his nails nervously. He didn't understand why his heart was suddenly rebuking his entire relationship with Brooke. Maybe because it's fake and forced. Lucas shook his head in response—his and Brooke's relationship was real, definitely not fake.
Suddenly, Lucas' cell phone started vibrating and lighting up. Lucas hopped across his bed and reached for the mobile on his nightstand. His phone read 'Haley'—Lucas picked up his phone instantaneously afterwards.
"Hello?" Lucas whispered, remembering that his mom was probably asleep in the next room.
"Lucas? You there—I can barely hear you?" Haley replied loudly on the other end.
Lucas laughed to himself as he got up off his bed that he was sprawled across and walked outside to his little porch. "Yeah, I'm here," he responded at a normal voice once he closed his door.
"Sorry about the time difference, but every time I'm around a phone it's either on the street or," Haley laughed at herself, "on the street."
"It's okay, Hales." Lucas said smiling. He was sure that Haley and Nathan weren't outside much anyway.
"So what's happening back in our lovely town?" She asked in a sarcastic tone.
Lucas scratched his brow as he thought of all of the scandals, gossip, and secrets which occurred daily in the small town. "Where to begin…" Lucas responded.
"How about with you," Haley stated simply. Lucas' breath was caught as he thought of himself and his inner demons.
"Um, Brooke and I are doing well and we're practically inseparable these days." Lucas told his childhood best friend smoothly. He was too afraid that Haley was wanting to delve into actually how well they were doing, and Lucas wasn't sure if he'd be able to deliver.
"I see," Haley said softly as if wanting him to tell her something else… like the exact opposite, but she didn't pursue it. "What about Peyton?"
"What about Peyton?" Lucas snapped. He was tired of thinking about Peyton!
Haley started laughing; she obviously heard that she touched a nerve. "So I guess that just tells me my suspicions are correct."
Lucas raised his free hand up in the air because now he was seriously pissed off. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Just that you're following Brooke's stupid-ass request to not see Peyt," Haley retorted back quickly, stinging Lucas' ego in the process.
Lucas didn't respond back right away. "No, it just means that I'm doing what Brooke asks of me."
"Why? To gain her trust back? Hell," Haley started to laugh cynically, "that's never going to happen, Lucas. She's too obsessed over her own insecurities to get past last year!" Haley was practically yelling now—she obviously thought pretty passionately about this.
It felt like Lucas' heart was in his throat after hearing this opinion out loud. He had more than enough times thought of the same thing in his head as he tried to burn his love for Brooke in his head as true and pure.
"Stop being such a jackass, Luke." Haley said finally.
Lucas only nodded in response, but Haley knew Lucas well enough to know that she had talked some sense into the thick head of his.
"All right, well Nathan's pulling me out of our room now, so I'll talk to you tomorrow. Okay?" Haley continued on.
"Yeah," Lucas replied hoarsely and clicked to end the call.
Standing out there in the middle of the night, Lucas felt pretty taken aback by his friend's straightforwardness. Everything Haley had shouted through the phone at him, he completely agreed with in his heart. Lucas didn't understand why he was so ignorant of his feelings and so stubborn to neglect them. So there he stood thinking about his heart and what it needed, not what was safe or fun, but necessary for it's happiness.
I love Peyton Sawyer..., he concluded. Not Brooke Davis.
The End.
Author's Notes: Hopefully Lucas didn't seem too crazy when he was trying to forget about his feelings in his room. I just wanted to make him look so earnest and bent on forgetting her and it was making him a little unhinged. I don't know…. Haha, but it was fun writing Lucas a little crazy since he's probably the squarest character ever.
Well, thanks so much for reading this! I would love to know what you thought of it—good or bad. I can take the heat if you want to dish it. Lol. Seriously, thank you again for taking the time out of your to do that, especially with the wide selection of fiction out there.
Also, if you ever find yourself wanting to read more Leyton fanfics, but can't seem to find any—just go to my community I created entitled "The Tortured Artist meets the Tortured Athlete" and you'll find hundreds upon hundreds of fics there. Just wanted to give you the heads up!