It was Saturday. The school was utterly still: not even the janitor remained. However, if one were to break into the school door (though I do not know for what unearthly reason one would break in to school), one would find a cold, lifeless lobby, as if hundreds of kids had not faced terrible judgment there. Going beyond t hat, if one chose too, one would find three long corridors. One of these corridors yielded a door with an overly cheery image of a smiling dog doing homework. It seemed at odds with its lifeless surroundings, strangely unaware, yet all the same drained by the omnipresent semidarkness. Through the door, and one would find a perfectly orderly, perfectly still biology classroom. The books on their shelves, the supplies in their closets, the papers in their respective in and out trays. Except for a solitary Petri-dish, sitting upon the counter. It appeared as lifeless as its surroundings, but looking closer…
"MOVE!!! Faster!!! We're working on a deadline you useless tumours!"
The head construction protein was very on edge. He had been assigned this project minutes ago: He was to build a new office building in block A-16. But his team of poorly trained aminos was acting up again.
"No, the OTHER way, you excuse for a cell!!! It says THIS SIDE UP!!!"
Suddenly a messenger amoeba sped up, an order bonded to its frontal lobe. With a grumble, the Head Protein snatched the order and gave it a once-over. Then a twice-over. Then he took out his spectacles and examined it carefully. It was a missive from HONO, the High Order of Nuclear Officers, requesting a meeting in Central Membrane, the cellular headquarters, in 0400 milliseconds. Swearing, the Head Protein spit discharge upon the sidewalk and hurried away to catch a carrier protein into Central Membrane. Lucky he didn't forget his wallet.
Arriving at Central Membrane, the Head Protein resisted the urge to bow to the senior members of the committee, of which he was the youngest. The only person he recognized for sure was his friend Euglen, head of the Amoebas. The circular room in which they stood was lined with a multitude of chairs, upon which sat various representatives with their various headdresses. Euglen moved forward to introduce the Head Protein to the senior members of the committee.
"Berzel, this is Proteo, representative elective of the Stem Cells,"
A green cell of indeterminate shape raised a few cilia in greeting.
"High Priest Deox ex Machina, head of the nuclear division of Ribosome United,"
What looked like the Flying Spaghetti Monster with a dunce cap gestured expansively.
"And this is Chief So'rgos, the Alpha Lipid."
A gelatinous oval grunted incommitably.
Berzel, Head Protein, took his seat and churned apprehensively. No sooner had he sat down did the High Priest rise from his seat and look around, casting about with his daunting photoreceptors.
"Comrades, now that Head Protein Berzel is in attendance, may we begin this, the 9,706,574th meeting of HONO.
First, allow me to thank Chairman Ke'rat, for the wonderful brownies he baked this morning."
Hearty applause erupted. Brownies were a rather Holy object among cells.
"And now, to graver issues," the High Priest continued.
"I regret to inform you all that a serial eater named Leuke has escaped from prison block 17-C. This occurred 5 minutes ago."
There was a collective murmur. Everyone knew the damage that could be done in 5 minutes. Especially by Leuke.
"As you all should know from the…newspaper(?)…Leuke is a stem cell, and is thus highly dangerous."
Several cells glanced at Proteo. Stem Cells had a knack for survival, and it didn't help that they could change into various cell types of different denominations. He could be anywhere. In your shoe. Check your shoe. Check it now!!! Smell it! Smell it!!!
"Chief So'rgos has sent several white blood cells ahead to secure all possibly exit routes and-"
"With all due respect, sir," Berzel interrupted "You did say, exit routes?"
There was a hive of whispering and grunts of disapproval. Nobody interrupted a High Priest. Chief So'rgos gave an amused huff.
The High Priest glanced disdainfully in my direction, than reconsidered and elaborated.
"Let me explain. You see, our latest researchers up in the VBA (Viral Bureau of Intelligence), during their reconnaissance trips in an effort to find the source of the recent invasion of viruses, have stumbled upon a shocking revelation."
The High Priest took a deep breath, as if to steady himself. This was bad. If something was making a High Priest anxious, then it must be very, VERY bad.