"Excuse me!" Gwyn pushed the doors open and past a group of scouts. She ran behind the stone archway of Skyhold, feeling the bile climb up her throat. She coughed, the sickness leaving her filled with exhaustion. Her chest heaved as she spit out any remaining vomit in her mouth. This was happening too often. Soon, it would be harder to hide it from everyone. Cullen, included.
"I'd say this has been…what? The tenth time you've been out here, or is it twelve, Ponytail? Just in the last…week and a half? Two, maybe?" Varric was leaning against the stone wall as Gwyn wiped her face with her sleeve.
"Varric," she warned. "Shut it." Her blue eyes were piercing as she began to walk away.
"Curly know yet?" There was slight amusement in his voice that made Gwyn stop in her tracks.
"I…I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about." She stammered. Varric tutted softly.
"I'm a spy, Ponytail—not stupid." She winced and knotted her fingers, turning to face him.
"If you breathe a word of this to anyone- especially Cullen," she warned. Varric held two gloved hands in surrender.
"Calm down there. I just wanted to make sure you were okay." Gwyn sighed and sunk down against the cold stone. "You are…okay, right?" He settled down beside her.
"I knew this would happen eventually. I mean, I wanted it to happen. I just didn't think it'd happen so soon." She sighed. Varric patted her on the back—perhaps too rough; as much as he tried, he wasn't used to comforting others.
"I'm not good with this stuff. At all. But sooner or later others are gonna realize what's going on here and something tells me that they may not be as nice as I am. Word's gonna travel, probably even faster than when you and Curly first got together. He probably wouldn't want to find out by someone else…later, y'know?" Gwyn carefully wiped stray tears from her eyes.
"What if he's less than pleased finding out in general," she stammered, "I mean, we've talked of children, but always in future tense."
"Future's something that comes whether you're ready for it or not." Varric chuckled, causing Gwyn to groan softly.
"I just thought it would be ages ahead. We got married only months ago!"
"Have you met the man we're talking about? Have you seen him? The guy may present a tough exterior at times, but you remember that day those kids found those mabari pups? He practically teared up just at the sight of them! If anything, the man is going to love you more than ever once he hears the news. However, you should be the one he hears it from—not from whispers across Skyhold or a random scout." He offered a small smile before helping Gwyn to her feet as best as he could.
"Thanks Varric. You know, you're better at this than you think."
"I try, sometimes. Anything for a friend," he winked.
Gwyn carefully approached Cullen's office door; scouts were heading out of his room on the battlements, muttering to each other. They offered brief nods in her direction, which might have offered encouragement any other day, but instead made her stomach sink. Inside Cullen leaned against his window, one hand resting on his forehead, carefully massaging his temple. Quietly Gwyn approached him, her movements timid as she assessed the situation.
"Oh, there you are," His voice was quiet and his movements reserved; today was a bad day. He approached to greet her with open arms and a brief kiss. "Josephine said you ran out of another meeting today. Is everything alright?" In his arms, with her face buried in his fur pauldrons, Gwyn breathed in his scent: parchment, wood, and a hint of mint. She could never understand how perfect he smelled. Other times she swore he bottled up the smells of a campfire and soaked his clothing in it. She looked up at him, seeing the concern laced on his face.
"That's what I wanted to talk about, actually."
"Now I know meeting with nobles day in and day out is enough to grate on anyone's nerves, but-"
"It's not about the meetings," Cullen raised an eyebrow and sighed. Carefully Gwyn reached out to touch his face. Her fingers lightly traced his jawline, his stubble growing back almost as quickly as he shaved it. As she ran over the scar above his lip, she felt the corners of his lip tighten. She kissed him gently and a confused expression grew on his face.
"Is something bothering you, darling? I know it's silly, but I worry about you. You've been very distant and I have to ask—" Gwyn kissed him again, silencing his worries.
"It is nothing you have done wrong, Cullen. I just have been searching for the right words…oh, this is not how I pictured this going," she groaned in admonishment. "Let me start over. How do you feel about children—about us having children?" Gwyn sucked in a breath, watching as Cullen's face twisted into bewilderment.
"I'm afraid I don't understand…we've talked about this…I-" She felt his hands grip hers a little tighter. She took a deep breath, fighting back tears of fear from his response.
"How would you feel about us having a son or daughter? Because we are. Having one, that is." The words flopped out of her mouth and Cullen looked at her incredulously.
"A…baby? We-you & I- are going to have a baby?" Gwyn squeezed his hands, the pads of her thumbs running over his calloused palms. She nodded and Cullen responded instantly by lifting her up into his arms. She laughed as his eyes seemed to light up the darkness he often kept himself in. He kissed her deeply as her fingers found themselves tangled in his blond locks.
"I'm going to be a father," he breathed. The words seemed like a foreign blessing on his lips, testing them out and enjoying the way the words fell from his lips. He took Gwyn's freckled face into his hands. "Oh, Maker, you are too good to me." He kissed her again and his eyes traveled down to her stomach, amazement spreading. Carefully he bent down, placing a bare hand on her belly.
He couldn't fathom something so beautiful growing slowly inside of Gwyn, the woman he loved. He was someone he thought was once incapable of deserving love or happiness. Now, he was staring at the most precious things in his life with own two eyes. He could scarcely believe it, even now. He looked up at his beautiful wife, his fearless leader and constant companion, and attempted to regain his composure in some small way. Tears welled in both of their eyes, a flood of happiness, as Cullen stood to kiss Gwyn once more.
"We're going to be parents!" He spluttered. He held onto Gwyn tightly, so grateful that whatever amount of darkness he carried with him, she was able to bring back the light.