TRIGGER WARNING: This fic contains rape and cutting so please be forewarned. Rate M for the violence and sex.
A wave of relief washed over me as a trail of dark red blood made its way down my pale thigh and onto the marble floor of the bathroom.
I exhaled and felt the pain and stress of being the wife of a death eater fade away. Now, I could get back to my son and my life.
Lucius was yet again on another mission for the Dark Lord so I didn't rush. There was no need to worry about my secret being discovered since the blond would be gone for a week.
When he stepped through the fireplace my heart dropped. His emergence meant that I would have to go back to being perfect; to being plastic. Lucius expected perfection at all times and those who didn't make the cut were punished.
I knew what he wanted the moment he looked at me and smiled. It was sinister the desire to shudder was strong but I suppressed the urge. One must learn to cope around Malfoy Manor quickly in order to survive.
He wanted what all men claimed they needed—sex. The act itself is not a time for pleasure but another opportunity for Lucius to dominant.
That night I had on the most expensive and seductive lingerie money could buy. The tattered tee shirt I normally slept in when he was away was tucked deep in my underwear drawer, the teddy bear that I had slept with since six was given to my house elf Lucy to hide.
He roughly grabs me by the arm pulling me against him. He starts kissing me and I close my eyes as his hands make their way down my body and inside my panties.
I am trying my hardest to become moist for him but my body is unwilling to do so and I start to panic. I don't want to suffer his wrath again. I still bare the bruises from our last encounter. He grunts when he finds me dry and pushes me away. I fall to the floor.
"You BITCH!" he hisses and I recoil because I know what is about to come. He roughly pulls me up from the floor and tosses me onto the bed. Straddling me, he begins to rip off my negligee. I close my eyes but I feel when he parts my thighs and enters me without restraint. My hips buck at the pain in my groin and tears roll down my cheeks.
"You won't get wet for me you stupid bitch!" he laughed as he picked up the pace his hips slapping painfully into mine. I try not to scream and remember Lucius does not tolerate weakness.
"You like that don't you?" he flicked my nipples and I bite my tongue to keep from crying out in pain. I grip the sheets harder as he inserts his manhood in to the hilt. The urge to scream is becoming too tempting. He continues the assault on my body and I bite down harder on my tongue. I taste blood and a slither of relief hits me. I can endure a little longer.
He stills and grunts. I feel his hot seed deep within me and bile rises in the back of my throat but I shallow it along with my pride. Lucius crawls off the bed and stands looking down at me disgusted.
I keep my eyes trained on the ceiling; I can't bear for him to know that he has broken me. But I think he already knows.
I hear him as he makes his way to the bathroom and I hear the shower. I sit up taking a glance between my legs I see the blood has soaked into the comforter and I move quickly to get my wand and vanish it away. I don't want him to see the mess I have made.
I sit on the floor by the bed waiting for him to finish in the bathroom so that I can go in. he comes out and doesn't even spare me a glance. Hurriedly, I enter the bathroom and shut the door locking it behind me.
I waste no time in retrieving my kit from its hiding place and slicing into the flesh of my thigh. The blood leaking from the cut soothes me dulling the ache between my legs. I catch a glimpse of myself in the floor length mirror.
Pathetic. I think and I carefully study the small blade I am holding. I look back at my reflection and think just one small nick on each wrist and it's over. I study my delicate and bruised writs; the vein beneath the skin is evident and I position the blade.
The face of my son; my little dragon comes into view and my hands fall to my side. I can't leave him alone not with this monster. Shame grips hold of me and I am astonished by my weakness. My heart starts to race and breathing becomes difficult. I take the knife and slowly drag it down my left thigh. This time I go a little deeper and my head falls back against the shower door.
I can breathe again. I can cope.