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- ghostyTrickster [GT] started pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 05:47 -
GT: oh my god! dave.
GT: dave, would you go to bed already.
TG: what are you my mom
TG: ten more levels mom get out of my room
GT: yes, dave, i am totally your mom.
GT: therefore i have seniority AND authority! now go to sleep. it's like, 6 am where you live.
TG: 'where i live'
TG: thats the key here
TG: youre like two thousand miles away you cant do shit
TG: hold on im going to dramatically laugh
TG: ha
TG: hahahah
TG: h a
GT: you are the worst.
GT: what if i read you a story?
TG: are you freaking serious
GT: i don't think you've slept in two weeks.
GT: i am dead serious.
GT: once upon a time, there was this planet, and it was kind of like the earth except there was only one dominant species: humans like us!
TG: you are seriously doing this
TG: oh my god
GT: so basically, there were no trolls! and it was just kind of earth, no other planets or anything.
GT: and then the apocalypse happened.
TG: what the fuck
GT: shhhh! let me finish.
GT: but these four people made it out into this parallel dimension, where they teamed up with a bunch of people from another planet and changed everything!
GT: the details get kind of convoluted, but basically, they were faced with the kind of odds like buying two winning lottery tickets.
TG: thats not even possible
GT: that's the point.
GT: they had to face all sorts of really freaky monsters and it would have been really cool if the monsters weren't also indestructible.
GT: but teaming up with the aliens, they figured out a way to save the universe! by destroying it.
TG: john i
GT: shhh! shut up!
GT: so they all get out of the universe and then they get four more heroes from a new one! and so these aliens and kids and a bunch of their alien friend things end up defeating most of the bad guys, and they finally make a safe place: a place where the big boss can't reach.
GT: which is pretty badass, since the big boss is this omnipotent and omnipresent pimp in charge of a time traveling crime syndicate.
TG: are you even looking at the words youre typing
GT: yes.
GT: so anyways, they live in this universe together and they get their lives back. well, kind of – i mean, they're like, these super important heroes and stuff! so they get medals and honors too. maybe even keys to the city.
GT: but they lost everything when their world and universe were destroyed, so this new one is like, a paradise for them.
GT: they get everything they lost and can live there forever.
GT: and so the story goes! they all get old and have kids and everything.
GT: and that's how a bunch of kids saved the multiverse. the end.
TG: i
TG: where did you even get this piece of shit story
GT: i read about it in a paranormal lore forum! i mean, it was kind of misplaced since it's not really paranormal, but it was in the urban legends section. supposedly someone out there actually believes that's how the universe was created.
TG: what a load
GT: stop being such a prick. you and i both know the story is cool even if it is totally bogus.
GT: anyway, go to bed!
GT: this is me, metaphysically tucking you in and putting a glass of warm milk on the nightstand.
GT: and papping you violently to sleep.
TG: wow ok fine
TG: night egbutt
TG: im sure ill have delightful dreams of fantasy ten-year-olds fighting off monsters to save the universe thanks
TG: one day they will make tv shows about this
TG: it will be just like in your animes
GT: dave.
TG: okay okay
TG: yes mother
- turntechGodhead [TG] has changed their status to OFFLINE. -
Dave took a long breath as he closed the Pesterchum application on his iPhone. He leaned back in his computer chair to stare at the ceiling, ironically dotted with glow-in-the-dark stars that had been there for around four and a half years – since his fourteenth birthday when they'd moved there, he remembered. That was when he'd started sticking them up there with the help of Bro's shoulders for the boost. It had been amazing at the time and really still was that his brother had been able to lift him.
"What a stupid story," he mumbled under his breath, closing his eyes before sitting up and smoothing his messy red-blonde hair on his head. Inhale, exhale. Three seconds just sitting still, not doing anything. Too long sitting still.
He stood up and stripped down to his boxers, discarding the clothes into the already overfilled hamper. Probably some racist person who thought trolls and humans legitimately had to be organized onto two different planets. Because it's totally implausible that the two codominant species of Earth came from the same planet.
'Wow, Dave, someone's gotten PC,' he thought to himself with a slight smile playing on his lips. He flopped down onto his bed, on top of the blanket, sprawling so the light from the New York early morning could spill over his midsection.
Rose would probably love that story, he noted. Rose was all over that kind of thing. Had John already told her? He'd ask in the morning. Shoot her a text before work or something. She was always up before 9, whether she had class or work or nothing. Insane, really. She'd probably do the same thing all summer, too.
Closing his vibrant red eyes yet again, Dave listened to the traffic outside. It was fascinating how even at dawn New York City could manage to be noisy and semi-congested. He was used to it, though; not much different from Houston, aside from the distinct lack of locust chirping in the summer.
He thought about the story John had told him because he had little better to think about. What sort of person would you have to be to escape the apocalypse, what sort of kid could do those types of things, could lose everything and still be intact after the fact? Dave thought back to when he was eleven, twelve. Would he have been able to stand up to a fiery armageddon, losing his home and the only family he had, having only three others to lean on? Would he have survived?
No one would, he decided, flopping over onto his stomach and resting his cheek on his wrist atop the pillow. That's why the story was so pathetic. Rose could probably vouch for that; she was the one fascinated by mental states and psychology. No kid could take that sort of thing without being traumatized entirely. An adult maybe. But not just any old kid.
That's why any legends about fantastic heroes were just a bunch of bull.
Eventually he fell asleep to the sound of horns and trucks driving by, and a single bird singing somewhere near to his window.