Sherri and Terri approach the picnic table where Bart and Milhouse are eating their lunch.
"Hi Bart," says Sherri. Or is she Terri?
"Hi Bart," says Terri. Or is she Sherri?
"Hi," says Milhouse.
Bart narrows his eyes. "Since when do you two talk to me?" he asks, suspicious.
"We just want to play a game with you," says one of them, batting her eye.
"And if you win," continues the other, "we'll give you a prize. What do you say, Bart?"
The two of them share a look and a snicker. Bart puts down the sandwich he's about to eat and dances around the idea. "What kind of game?" he asks.
"Oh, it's really easy," one of them says.
"So easy even a monkey could do it," chimes the other.
"All you have to do is guess which one is Sherri and which one is Terri!"
They erupt into a fit of high-pitched squeals.
Bart huffs. "I'll play your dumb game." He raises an eyebrow and gets on his feet. He cracks his knuckles and ponders. His brows furrow, as if he was deep in thought. Sherri grins while Terri smirks. Or maybe Terri is grinning while Sherri is smirking. Bart points with his index finger. "Sherri. Terri."
"Wow, Bart," Sherri says with false praise. "You're really good at this game."
He's not, but he guessed, and a guess is all they need.
"Really good," Terri agrees.
Sherri and Terri exchange a malicious smile. Each plant a hasty kiss on Bart's cheeks before sprinting away. Their cynical, shrill laughter fills the air. Bart groans and scowls in disgust, and gripes about the two of them for the rest of the day.
Sherri and Terri both wear the same purple dress that they wear every day and put on the same purple shoes and wear the same purple headband.
"Aren't you two tired of matching all the time?" their mother asks.
"I like matching with Terri," says Sherri.
"I like matching with Sherri," says Terri.
They walk side by side as they leave the house and stand side by side as they wait for the bus, ready to go to school. They sit side by side on the bus, wearing the same thin-pressed smiles they always wear and leaning back with the same posture.
They're sitting in class with the sun shining through the windows and thirty minutes left until recess. Sherri raises her hand. Mrs. Krabappel is sitting on her desk when she looks up from her teacher's edition history book and acknowledges her.
"What is it?"
Sherri stands up. "Mrs. Krabappel, may I use the restroom?"
Terri also stands up. "Mrs. Krabappel, may I also use the restroom?"
Mrs. Krabappel lolls her head and leans back. She turns her attention back to the book in her hand. "Yeesh," she says. "Can't you two handle being apart for five minutes?"
"Our bladders are synchronized," they say in perfect unison, smiling widely.
Mrs. Krabappel rolls her eyes. "Hmph. Whatever."
"Thank you, Mrs. Krabappel."
"Thanks, Mrs. Krabappel."
Mrs. Krabappel flips to the next page of her book, not bothering to look up. "Yeah, yeah."
Lisa Simpson's hair is bright green.
Apparently, she intended for it to be a mermaid blue, but oh boy, it's green and it's a disaster. As soon as Lisa steps on the bus, shoulders sunken in with shame in a pitiful attempt to draw attention away from herself, everyone in the vicinity hollers with laughter. Lisa parks herself in the seat in front of the twins and buries her face in her hands. Sherri and Terri eye each other with sly smiles.
"Wow," Sherri gasps in awe. "Nice hair, Lisa!"
"Did you dump your head in a bucket of puke, Lisa?" Terri asks, and they both giggle.
Lisa turns around and glares. "First of all," she begins in a huff, "your mockeries of my hair are trite, seeing as I have already been made into a laughingstock. Second, your insult lacks substance. Vomitus is not a good medium for hair dye. In addition, vomitus varies in color and consistency. Bile, although green upon first entering the small intestine, is usually bright yellow when expelled as vomitus. If the vomitus is green, it is usually darker and more muted in tone, unlike the neon green tragedy that is my hair." Lisa turns her back and faces the window.
"Lisa dumped her head in a bucket of puke!" Sherri shouts, pointing at Lisa and snickering.
The entire bus roars with laughter. Lisa groans and sinks further into her seat, while Sherri and Terri lean back with their hands folded onto their laps, quite pleased with themselves.
They're in their bedroom. Sherri lies on the floor and draws flowers with crayons while Terri sits on the bed, brushing the hair of her Malibu Stacy doll.
"I kinda like Bart," Sherri blurts out.
Terri snorts. "Bart Simpson? Gross! He's about as dumb as a sack of bricks. Probably dumber."
Sherri doesn't look up but continues to draw. "I know," she says. "But he's kinda cute. And he's a bad boy. Isn't that dreamy, Terri?"
Terri rolls her eyes. "Uh, no. Don't you have a brain, sis? Bart can't even tell us apart. There's no way he'll ever truly like you back. He could just as easily think you were me and it wouldn't even matter to him."
"Bart could like me!" Sherri says in defense. "You don't know anything, you… you dream crusher!" Sherri crumples the paper she had used to draw on and stomps out of the room. Terri gets off the bed and slams the door, locking it so Sherri can't get back inside.
Their bathroom has two sinks and two mirrors and also a two-in-one bathtub-shower combo.
"Alex is so cool," Terri says as she brushes her teeth. "She's probably the coolest girl in school."
Sherri flips her hair as she places it in a ponytail. "You're definitely the evil twin," she says.
Terri crosses her arms, placing a defiant foot on the ground. "Excuse me?" she asks, incredulous and with a mouth full of toothpaste. "How am I the evil twin? You're the one who's always bossing me around!"
"Because," Sherri continues in a nonchalant manner, "you're the left twin. Left twins are always the evil ones."
"That's stupid," Terri spits out.
Sherri shrugs. "Sorry sis," she says. "It's just the way things are. Better get used to it."
Terri leaves the bathroom in a huff.
Terri comes home at 10:00 PM with a stuffed teddy bear and huge smile. Sherri hums as she lies on her bed, flipping through channels on the television. Terri enters the bedroom grinning, and Sherri acknowledges her with a curious head tilt.
"Whatcha got there?" Sherri asks, feigning intrigue.
Terri scoffs. "It's a teddy bear," she says flatly. "You do know what a teddy bear is, don't you?"
"Must be nice dating Langdon Alger," Sherri says, and Terri eyes her cautiously. "When is your next date?"
Terri places the bear close to her chest. "Saturday," she says, narrowing her eyes at Sherri. "At the middle school dance."
Sherri stands up and walks up to Terri. She slings an arm around Terri's shoulder and leans in close. "Here's an idea," Sherri begins, "why don't you let me go to the dance with him? I bet he won't even notice the switch!"
Terri yanks herself out of Sherri's grip and glares. "Langdon would be able to tell!" she cries out. "My personality is different from yours."
"Well duh," Sherri says. "But I don't think really likes you. He could just as easily think I was you, and it wouldn't even make a difference to him."
Terri fidgets with her hands.
"Let's a make a bet," Sherri says. "If you let me fill in as his date for the dance and he notices that I'm not you, I won't speak of this again. But if he doesn't say one word about it, you have to dump him."
Terri nods. "Deal," she says, and they shake on it.
Sunday morning, Terri breaks up with Langdon Alger over text.
High school is fresh. Exciting.
The campus is nearly triple the size of their middle school and has twice as many students. Students from Springfield West and East and North and South all converge at the city's teenage focal point known as Springfield High School. It would've been more intimidating, but Sherri has Terri's back and Terri has Sherri's. They're a rock solid team ready to take on the big leagues together, ready for four years of building up their reputation and climbing to the top of the social ladder.
They join the dance club. Sherri and Terri didn't take seven years of tap, four and half years of ballet, and three years of hip-hop to have their talent dry up like a Sun-Maid raisin. These years of experience are their weapons, and they plan on utilizing every tool in their belt.
Auditions go well. The senior members are more than impressed with their repertoire.
Their first rally is a hit.
By the end of their first semester, Sherri and Terri rise to the highest club ranking possible as non-senior members.
Later that year, they win the talent show.
By the end of their freshman year, everyone knows exactly who they are.
Sherri and Terri. The dancing queens of Springfield High.
"You're Sherri and Terri, right?"
Sherri raises an eyebrow at the freshman boy who stands in front of her, while Terri rolls her eyes.
"Duh," they say in unison.
The boy folds his arms across his chest and flashes a cocky smile. "So which one is the 'pretty one' and which one has the personality?" he asks, and he fails to suppress his laughter. A group of boys passing by snicker amongst themselves, and Sherri's face goes red while Terri holds her hands against her mouth.
"Why don't you go back to failing your classes?" Sherri snaps.
Once the boy leaves, she curses herself for not thinking of a better comeback.
Alice Kettleman and Elinor Stratford are the two most popular cheerleaders in school. Alice, the classic blue-eyed blonde. Elinor, a black-haired, dark-eyed beauty. Alice, the captain. Elinor, her right-hand. It's a pleasant surprise when they offer Sherri and Terri to sit with them during lunchtime.
"Sherri and Terri," Alice says as she bears a thin, glossy smile. "How nice of you two to join us."
"It's great finally getting to hang out with you guys," Terri says, beaming. "You two are so cool!"
Elinor sips on a soda and then acknowledges the twins with an inquisitive look. "So which one of you is Sherri and which one is Terri?" she asks, and she rests her elbows against the table.
Alice nudges Elinor in the ribs. "Don't ask questions like that, Elle. Who cares? They're obviously the same." Sherri and Terri grasp at their dresses, crinkling the edges with their fingers. Alice looks at them with an innocent smile. "Did I offend you?" she asks. "I thought that was the whole point. I mean, if you two wanted to be seen differently, you would've downplayed the whole twin thing instead of using it to your social advantage."
Elinor giggles, and Sherri gets up and leaves. Terri lingers for a little bit before quietly following after.
They're walking around the park, side by side. "Why do people call us 'Sherri and Terri'?" Terri asks. "Why not 'Terri and Sherri'?"
"'S' comes before 'T,'" Sherri points out matter-of-factly. "Plus, I was born first. It's my firstborn right to always go before you."
Terri kicks a stray rock lying on the grass. "Remember that time in elementary school when we thought there was going to be a nuclear war?"
"Yeah, I do. What about it?"
"How come Principal Skinner said there wasn't any room in the fallout shelter for me?"
Sherri pats her sister on the back. "He only said there was room for the best and brightest," she tells her, in the same manner one would speak to a friend whose loved one just passed away. Terri sighs and plops onto the grass, and Sherri rubs her shoulder from behind.
"It's okay if you're not as perfect as me," Sherri tells her, sympathy in her eyes. "I still think you're awesome. Definitely above average."
"I'm just as good as you!" Terri says.
"I'm not saying you're bad; I'm just saying you're not as good," Sherri points out. "Terri, just because you look like me doesn't mean you're anything like me."
Sherri quits the dance club. Terri quits shortly after.
"Why'd you quit?" Sherri asks, not attempting to mask the irritation dripping from her voice. She's putting on gym shorts and tying her hair back in a simple braid.
Terri shoots her a forlorn stare. "Because you quit," she says. "We were a team."
"I'm going to the cheerleading tryouts," Sherri says. "Don't bother coming along."
"Why not?"
Sherri releases an exasperated sigh. "Just do your own thing!" she says, and she laces up her sneakers and heads out the front door, slamming it behind her.
Junior year has a different aura.
Sherri rises to prominence on the cheerleading squad, and Terri has decided to rekindle her affinity for the flute. Her first day into band class, she notices a particular spiky-haired girl with a sax on her arm.
"Lisa?" Terri asks, and Lisa gives her an awkward smile. "What are you doing here?"
Lisa shoots her a funny look. "I'm a freshman and I'm taking this class," she says. Lisa hums, drumming her fingers against her sax and flitting her eyes around the room before reluctantly meeting Terri's gaze once more. "So… are you Sherri or Terri?" she asks in a manner that suggests she couldn't care less about the answer.
"I'm Terri, Lisa." Terri rubs the back of her neck and sighs. "I always thought you could tell us apart. You were always known as the smart one."
Lisa shrugs. "I have not concerned myself in learning your differences," she says, "and I do not care to start. Frankly, I am rather surprised your doppleganger isn't here accompanying you. I did not realize you two ever spent time apart."
"High school has changed you, Lisa," Terri says in disgust. She stomps away.
Lisa scratches her head. "It's my first day."
They don't go to school together anymore. Sherri carpools with Alice and Elinor, and Terri takes the bus. They don't eat lunch together or go home together. Terri feels like a lost puppy wandering the long and narrow halls, aimless, trying to find a little someplace where she can belong. The band crowd is too geeky, and the art crowd is too stuffy. She finds a couple of drifters whom she can talk to, but it isn't the same. They don't get her jokes or know what she's about to say or want to do the same things she wants to do at the same time.
They don't click with her like Sherri does. It's just not the same.
Whenever Terri runs into Sherri, they exchange a simple wave and a hello then goodbye, and then Sherri disappears with her new friends, her new crowd, reminding Terri that she doesn't have what Sherri has.
Sherri is sleeping over at Alice's house. It's just the two of them, which is nice because she always seems to be skidding on the outskirts whenever Elinor and Alice are together.
Alice is painting Sherri's nails a sparkling cherry red.
"I'm so glad you ditched your sister to be a part of the cheer team," Alice says. She presses her lips together in a soft smile. "Really, that whole twin thing is such a cliché. You've finally made a real name for yourself."
Sherri forces herself to smile back, and she blows on her nails when Alice finishes painting them. "I was always my own person, even before then," she says quietly.
Alice laughs. "Yes, but now it is more obvious," she points out. "You have to do something that stands out in order for people to actually care. That goes for everyone, but especially for identical twins."
Terri wonders, late at night when she can't fall asleep, if she was to die or be kidnapped or run away, if anyone would notice that she was gone. Perhaps people wouldn't be confused anymore, and Sherri could reach her full potential, without Terri holding her back, without Terri reminding her that she isn't unique because of her twin's existence. Terri is disposable. Terri is the lesser twin. If Terri is gone, then Sherri can be her own person and she wouldn't have to worry about Terri trailing behind, her annoying, identical shadow.
Terri tries to sneak out, but Sherri catches her in the act as she squeaks open the door.
"Terri, it's four the morning," Sherri growls.
"I'm going out," Terri says.
"Where could you possibly go?"
"I don't know," Terri says. "Anywhere but here."
Sherri sits up from her bed and turns on the light. "What's wrong?"
A heavy pause.
"I think you would be better off without me," Terri finally says, voice low. "I just get in the way of you trying to be your own person."
Sherri doesn't say a word. Instead, she gets out of bed and walks towards Terri. She grabs Terri's hand and pulls her into a firm embrace, and Terri crumples, sobbing into Sherri's neck.
Sherri quits the cheerleading squad and joins Terri in band class.
"Why'd you quit?" Terri asks.
Sherri shrugs. "It's no fun without you."
"Don't you want to people to see us differently?"
Sherri chews on her bottom lip and ponders. She glances at Terri with a soft smile and shakes her head. "We are different. The reason nobody sees us for who we really are because they don't bother to know us as individuals. And they never will. The only ones who really understand us are us. No one else gets us like we do."
Terri gazes at Sherri with light in her eyes. "That's why we gotta stick together, right?"
Sherri nods. "I like being with you, Terri. I want us to always be together."
Nelson Muntz stands in front of Sherri and Terri's front door holding two bouquets of flowers.
"Do you two wanna go to the prom with me?" he asks as he adjusts the collar of his shirt.
Sherri and Terri glance at each other suspiciously.
"You're asking both of us?" Sherri asks, incredulous.
"Don't you even care that we're two different people?" Terri adds.
Nelson shrugs. "Whatever," he says, kicking the ground with his feet. "I assumed you two were a package deal. Figured this was better than asking one of you over the other and not caring who said yes."
Sherri's amused, and Terri is too.
"Take us to dinner at five," Sherri says.
"Luigi's," pipes in Terri.
Package deal. It has a ring to it.
Fin.