I Bet You Say That to All the Girls
By the Rurouni Idoru
Rurouni's note: Yusuke has Botan, did Shinobu know one ferrygirl better than the others? We take a look now at this hypothetical ferrygirl's thoughts. Connects with "Bittersweet Romance," but it's not necessary. Sensui spoilers, I guess. Any sort of feedback, from insane jibbering to constructive criticism to flames, any of it: all very welcome, and very much desired. I'll shut up now.
Disclaimer: Don't own YYH, Sensui, Itsuki, or none o' that. I own the ferrygirl, and that's it for this story.
Sensui Shinobu. That name sends shivers down my spine. It makes me want to giggle like a schoolgirl. It makes me want to smash things. It makes me wish I was a more convincing speaker. It makes me wish he wasn't such a good-looking SOB. But I'm getting off-topic. I was a ferrygirl when he was first named as the new Tantei. More than that, I was his ferrygirl. The new Yusuke boy has Botan to follow him around and look things up for him and get in the way during battle. Before Yusuke and Botan, there was Shinobu and myself. I knew the Reikai standards like the back of my hand. Of all the ferrygirls, there wasn't one who took her job more seriously than I. Shinobu made me forget all that. Around him, I was turned into a giggling airhead. The first time I met him, I knew he was no good for my career. Sometimes, I wonder just why Koenma kept me on the job with him. Then, of course, I argue back to myself that it was either me, who behaved like a bubbleheaded loon around him, or the other ferrygirls, who were bubbleheaded loons. Our first meeting stays in my head like it happened yesterday.
"Assistant to a Tantei? But Koenma-sama, why? I have to herald the dead-" He waved his hand dismissively.
"Consider this a promotion." My face, I'm sure, lit up.
"A promotion? Really?" Koenma nodded, and I twirled.
"Enough dancing, you have to meet the boy." I stopped and looked away sheepishly. The two of us walked into Koenma's office, where Shinobu was sitting. My mouth fell open. He was the most gorgeous creature I had ever seen. Koenma introduced us. He shook my hand. I tried my best not to start drooling. He had that hair, those eyes, that voice... I felt like a teenage girl meeting a movie star.
"It's a pleasure to meet you." I nearly melted when he smiled at me like that. I attempted to smile back. I even managed to choke out something graceful.
"The pleasure's all mine," I mumbled. Mentally, I kicked myself. Koenma spoke more clearly than that, and he had a pacifier in his mouth all the time. Koenma then began to tell Shinobu what his mission was, and that he was to contact me if he needed help. It was amazing how much I could not listen. I couldn't believe my luck. I was being promoted so I could work with him? It seemed too good to be true.
I quickly learned that it was. At first, things went great. When I had to come down into the physical plane to see him, our conversations got smoother as I got more and more used to the fact that I was working with Prince Charming. He even let me call him by his first name.
"But Sensui-san..." He smiled that enchanting smile at me again.
"There's no need for such formality between us, my dear. You can call me by my first name." I blushed and looked down.
"Thank you, Shinobu." He suddenly seemed a bit stunned.
"Oh, I'm sorry. It's been rude of me, calling you 'my dear' for the past few days. I didn't even ask if you were alright with it." I looked up, that blush still on my face.
" I don't mind at all!"
"Oh, good! Now I don't feel so foolish." It seemed as if "Sensui Shinobu" and "foolish" were two words that could not mix. At least, it felt that way then. Now, I'd probably be the one to call him foolish. "Well, my dear, we have a mission to complete. Let's go." I was still marveling at the fact that he could feel foolish. But ahead we went, having one of the last good times we would ever have. I'm sure it all would have gone well for some time if one youkai hadn't thrown a wrench into the smooth workings between Shinobu and myself.
I didn't know that Ningenkai television could reach Makai. But apparently, it did. And Itsuki's habit of watching Japanese dramas was what screwed everything up for me. For some time, I had been aware of a demon stalking us. I told Koenma, and he said not to tell Shinobu. The boy loathed youkai so much he would try to kill the demon without just cause. Telling Shinobu he was being followed would basically be the same as saying, "There's a youkai behind you, kill him!" For all we knew, Itsuki was some sort of sage, checking Shinobu's power to see if he had found someone to pass his secrets on to. But he wasn't. He was a smitten stalker who watched Japanese TV. Which, apparently, appealed much more nicely to Shinobu than the former. I sensed that there was something about Itsuki that I didn't much like from the start. I wasn't there when the incident occurred. But Shinobu, with laugher in his voice, told me all about it.
"…And it turns out that he's been watching one of my favorite shows, and his last request was to see that last episode! Can you believe it? So many people want their last words to sound noble, but he asked if he could finish watching a drama! Of course, it's a very good show, so I can understand why he would want to see the ending. You know, the one I like to tell you about? Have you seen it?" Sadly, inadvertently, I brought the conversation to a sour end.
"I, um…I don't like dramas." It's not like it was a lie, I told the truth. I couldn't understand why the end of a drama would be the basis of one's final request. I had a sneaking suspicion that Itsuki had only said that because he had been stalking Shinobu long enough to understand that he liked the dramas. Maybe I was wrong, I can't say. If I had ever seen said dramas, I could quiz Itsuki on them to see if he were telling the truth. But what's past is past, I suppose. Either way, I didn't like Itsuki. He ushered in a severe change, a change that Shinobu wasn't yet ready for. Shinobu was ready to accept that one youkai could be innocent, and some humans could be evil, but other than that, humans were good and demons were bad. Which wasn't true. It's a far more complicated system than that. Demons and humans, conscience-wise, are essentially the same. Youkai have the ability to discern evil from good just as well as humans do. The thing is, most youkai choose to go for what's evil, and most people are brought up to choose good whenever possible. I cannot tell you why. Different environments, I suppose. There are always exceptions, however, and Shinobu was not ready to accept that as fast as he had to. Itsuki wasn't murderous and bloodthirsty. Some humans, however, were. Poor Shinobu didn't have the time required to understand this. He learned it much faster than he should have.
Of course, there was another reason for me not to trust Itsuki: he was competition. My crush on Shinobu was rapidly becoming something more. And he was working with a guy who had stalked him. This spelled trouble for ferrygirls who had feelings for Tantei. Perhaps I was overreacting, I thought. Perhaps he was only interested in Shinobu's abilities, and was made his partner by pure coincidence. I, of course, was wrong. It was standard practice by now that whenever we were alone, I would question Itsuki. I was a very suspicious ferrygirl, and he gave me reason to be. One day, I took it to the higher level.
"Itsuki-san…." I tried to maintain some degree of respect for him, hated or not. He looked up at me with a "Hmm", which I took as my cue to continue. "Why are you still working with Sensui-san and myself?" I would call him by first name if he were there, I wanted to seem polite and curious at that moment.
"Well, I followed him at first because he was amazing to watch. Graceful, powerful, swift…. He's the perfect warrior." I scratched my chin. That sounded safe so far…. "But now…" He lowered his eyes and smiled sheepishly. "I think I'm falling in love with him." I could hear my world being cracked open and getting prepared to shatter. In love with my Shinobu? But I had seen him first! I had giggled and drooled like a moron because he was in the room! I think it wouldn't have upset me so much if Itsuki didn't seem to have such a bond with Shinobu. It was like they shared a mind. Together, they infiltrated strongholds and defeated enemies. What did I do? Ride around on an oar, dodging attacks while doing reconnaissance or doling out tips. They were birds of a feather. I was a platypus. I was sure I had no chance with him. And I didn't, after it happened.
I was hovering around the top floor, looking for the captive Sakyo had. When I found her, I tried to tell Shinobu, but it turns out that taking the front door had been a bad move on his part. He had walked straight into a slaughter. Youkai were being killed in the worst ways imaginable. Itsuki was biting his lip and looking away when I got there. Sakyo was spinning a yarn about how, in his twisted mind, it was all in good fun. This didn't surprise me. But I never thought I would see Sensui Shinobu cry. I don't think he knew he was; he was in a state of shock. But the tears were running down his face like tiny streams. Everything he had known was a lie. My eyes began to well up with tears as well, but not for the demons. I cried for Shinobu. I knew he would never be the same. But if Itsuki's confession of love damaged my world, this must have destroyed his. I tried to comfort him. I wrapped my arms around him, whispering things in his ear to reassure him that the world was a better place than this could show him. Of course, it was all in vain. He flew into a towering rage and tried to kill every one of the humans in the room. Sakyo, sneaky weasel that he was, managed to escape. I told Shinobu, I said that killing humans was one of Reikai's highest offenses, he would never be accepted into heaven if he did that, and I was sure they wouldn't keep him as Tantei. He didn't listen. Itsuki just stood behind in what was either steadfastness or complete horror. I could take the slaughter of helpless demons; I was an angel of death. I couldn't take Shinobu becoming…not Shinobu anymore. Silently, I mounted my oar and flew upstairs to save the imprisoned girl. None of us said a word for the rest of the day. Shinobu was too busy thinking over how everything he knew could be wrong, Itsuki, I'm sure, was worried about Shinobu, and I felt that nothing I could say could make the situation any better. And the tears, they weren't helping.
It was on our next mission that Shinobu, who was suddenly quiet and reserved, began to ask everyone one question.
"Are the humans…really worth protecting?" He asked this question over and over. I couldn't word my answer correctly until he approached me. "What do you think? I'm just…very confused right now. Are we worth the trouble Reikai has to deal with for us?" I shook my head.
"You don't want to hear what I have to say. I'm not good with these questions." He put a hand on my shoulder.
"Nonsense. Your opinion is very important to me." I smiled wryly, in memory of the good old days.
"I bet you say that to all the girls." He produced a sad smile, and then went back to the way he was before.
"Now really. I want to know what you think." I paused, trying to arrange the words in my head. He was asking a ferrywoman of the dead if humans were worth his protection so that they could live longer and my colleagues weren't overrun with work? I suppose if there's anyone who knows about life and death, it's the Grim Reaper herself.
"Well, I'm sure some of them aren't worth it…" I began, "but most of them need it. Humans, usually, are very fragile creatures. They've begun to deny the existence of youkai over the years out of fear, you know? They say it's common sense, but if they were to come face to face with one of them, they would scream until their voices stopped working. Some of the humans don't deserve protection because they believe nothing can hurt them. But that's just a sign of how much they need the upkeep. If they believe there's nothing out there greater than them, we're doing our job correctly. Or…something. I don't know. It's difficult to put into words." To this day, I have absolute faith that my rambling mess had no impact at all on Shinobu's decision. Why would it? It made no sense. It was then that he asked me another, more disturbing question.
"Do you know where they keep the Chapter Black tape?" My mouth fell open. Why did he want to know where Chapter Black was? Humanity's worst crimes, and he wanted to go rent it for the weekend?
"N-no…why? There are plenty of other examples of humanity to watch. Why would you want to focus on the worst crimes in history?" He didn't answer me. I knew, then and there, that it was the end. He would find Chapter Black and disappear, only to become a villain for the new Reikai Tantei to deal with. And as he walked away, I fell to my knees and started to cry. It was no longer a silly crush. I was in love with Shinobu. And he didn't notice or care. I could feel my heart breaking. I sat alone in the hallway, sobbing. I realized that the Shinobu I had fallen in love with was gone forever, replaced by a very charming madman. I only had one thing to say to him once he was gone. "Goodbye, Sensui Shinobu."
As it turned out, I was correct. That was our last mission, and then he, Itsuki, and Chapter Black vanished for a long time. Decades, I think. I somberly decided that, with no Tantei, I was going to be demoted, and I didn't want that. My work had become my life, and I wasn't going to let a little thing like the insanity of the man I loved ruin that. I went back to ferrying the dead across the Sanzu River, calmly and patiently. I became much like a machine in those rounds. When Koenma announced that I was to be promoted as a caseworker for the dead, I regained emotion. This new job meant that, to free up Koenma just a little, I became one of the people who passed judgment on the dead humans who ended up in my lap. I examined all of their entire lives, and was made to decide how their afterlife would be spent. Many were suitable for reincarnation. When Shinobu's other six personalities arrived, I was saddled with two: Naru and Minoru. Minoru's tale was uneventful. I sentenced him to…whatever it was I sentenced him to, I can't quite remember now. But Naru, she was a sweetheart. I'd like to think that, if in fact my rambling mess did matter to Shinobu, it created her. She had no intent of human destruction. She really didn't care. She wanted things to go back to the way they were before she existed. She wanted to be separate from Shinobu and the others. And I granted that wish. She deserved it. I knew what to do for her. But Shinobu….
Had Itsuki not kept Shinobu down in the Uraotoko (I knew I never liked Itsuki) and he ended up being one of my clients, I'm unsure as to what I would do. Part of me would want to keep him in Reikai. I could use a companion, especially if it were him. But the problem there is, he's not too great a judge of character. After all, he decided whether to destroy humanity based on a biased set of facts. In ningenkai, the good in the world far outweighs the bad, which is why it shocks humans to see the evil as evident as it was in Chapter Black. Good people exist far more than evil. The evil ones are so horrific to watch because the good ones can do nothing to stop them, sometimes. It doesn't matter how righteous one is, if they're powerless, that's it. Evil gains such a following because humans have a want to strike back at the injustices they felt life dealt them. It's in their nature. Whether it's a school child becoming violent because he was bullied, or a country blaming an entire ethnic group for a war they had nothing to do with, humans want to lash out. They don't know that they've become the evil they're struggling to fight.
I think, personally, that that was Shinobu's downfall.