A/N: Hey you guys. I hope you like my one-shot on Jack's last thoughts before he dies :/ i like it so i hope you do to, and i really love reviews. Please. I want to know what you think about my writing and such. really, I'm up for any suggestions.
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At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away.
- Grey's Anatomy
The water was cold, painfully cold. And the pain seemed to travel throughout my entire body, radiating from my toes, up to the top of my head and back. But this time, there was nobody here to save me.
And yet, that didn't matter. What mattered was making sure Rose got out safe. Rose had a full life ahead of her, and she needed to live it. I wouldn't let myself be the reason that she wouldn't make it, I wouldn't be the one who took away her bright future.
She was lying on the wooden door, shivering uncontrollably, her lips a light blue color and her skin pale. We had been out here for I don't know how long, and I knew I wouldn't last much longer, but she would. She had to.
" Its getting quiet." She whispered, and her voice was so fragile, defeated. It put tears in my eyes to hear her like this. She was giving up, she had lost that spark in her eyes, and that happiness she had obtained just hours before. But I wouldn't let that be the last time she was happy, even if it wouldn't be with me.
" Its just gonna take a couple minutes to get the boats organized…. I don't know about you but…I intend to write a s-strongly worded letter to the w-white star line about all this." I said to her, forcing a smile onto my face, hoping to get a positive response back. But I got nothing.
She just laid there. Sad and hopeless.
I couldn't bear it! I had minutes left, if that, and I needed her to go on. I needed her to be a fighter, one last time.
She was watching me, her eyes filled with tears, and then she spoke, killing me inside.
"I love you, Jack." Her words made my heart throb, she loved me, she really loved me, but she was preparing herself for the end. An end that wasn't near, for her at least.
" Don't do that, don't say your good-bye's. Not yet, Do you understand me?" I said to her, the shivers rocking my body uncontrollably. She needed to listen to me, she needed to understand.
"I'm so cold." she said, her voice filled with despair. And as another searing pain pulsated through my body, it was the fact that I knew she was giving up that made me want to cry. My Rose, didn't believe. She had no hope left.
I had to make her believe, I had to give her a reason to live, if it was the very last thing I did in this life.
"Listen, Rose. You're gonna get out of here, you're gonna go on and make lots of babies, and you're gonna watch them grow. You're gonna die an old... an old lady warm in her bed, but not here, not this night. Not like this, do you understand me?" I said, my voice sounding weak. I was fading, I could feel it, but she needed to know one last thing.
The look in her eyes was dead, and she didn't seem to be letting in what I was saying to her. She didn't want to think about it, and I couldn't blame her. With all the physical pain she was in right now, any extra emotional pain would be excruciating. But she had to realize that she could make it, she could keep living, even if I'm not around.
" I can't feel my body." She stated, her voice breaking out of cold. Her wet red hair stuck to the sides of her face, framing it beautifully, and I knew she would make someone a beautiful wife someday, she had to. I needed to get that through her head, no matter how much it hurt me to tell her to find someone else. To love someone that wasn't me.
But it had to be done, no matter how great the pain was.
"Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me... it brought me to you. And I'm thankful for that, Rose. I'm thankful." I said, choking back the tears that threatened to escape my eyes. But I had to be strong. Rose needed me to be strong for the little time I had left with her. And I need to be able to see her clearly one last time.
I pulled my numbing hand from beneath the dark waters and clasped it with hers, begging her to listen.
"You must do me this honor, Rose. Promise me you'll survive. That you won't give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise." I kept my eyes locked on hers and watched as they brimmed over with tears, and they spilled down her cheeks . A few tears escaped my eyes as well, but I couldn't care less at this point.
My limbs were growing numb by the second, and a warmth was creeping its way inside of me. But I put a strained smile on my face the entire time." I Promise." she said, her tears streaming down her face. I could see it finally dawning on her, the decision she would have to make, and I needed her to make the right one.
" Never let go." I told her, gazing intently into her eyes. I had so much more I wanted to say to her. So much more I needed to say, but if I said it, it might push her over the edge.
I loved her, I loved her with all my heart, more than I have loved anything. And now I was loosing her. I was fading away.
" I'll never let go. I'll never let go, Jack." She whispered, and I smiled genuinely. I gave our clasped hands a quick kiss, and focused on keeping myself warm, for as long as possible. After all, how long can you fight the inevitable?
My whole body was numb as my body floated within the black depths of the ocean. A gust of wind blew my, but it was oddly warming compared the icy water I was submerged in. I could barely keep my eyes open anymore.
But I was glad Rose was on the door. I wouldn't have it any other way, even though I was on the verge of death. She was my world, my air, my everything. Ever since that night I had stopped her from jumping off the ship, I knew I loved her.
And I knew she knew it. Even if I had never said it. Maybe it was better that I never said it. Maybe that would make it easier for her to move on when I was gone. And that time was coming all too quickly.
There were very few noises, the only ones I could hear were my slowing heartbeat, and the lapping of the ocean's water. Other than that, few people were left, and soon I would be one of them.
And in these final moments, I couldn't help but think back on these last few days. The happiest days of my life.
The first time we met.
" I'm Jack Dawson." I said, out of breath from pulling her over the stern's rail.
" Rose DeWitt Bukater." She said softly, her flaming red hair blowing wildly around her face due to the wind.
" I'm gonna have to get you to write that one down" I said with a laugh, and she laughed along with me.
The party below deck.
" I don't know the steps." She said, slightly panicked. The music filled the room, and we were spinning, neither of use knew what we were doing.
" Neither do I. Just go with it." I said to her, trying to reassure her, and it worked. We twirled around that dance floor for hours on end.
The first time we kissed.
" Hello Jack. I changed my mind." she said to me, after having told me earlier that she needed to be with Cal. But luckily, she decided on following her heart.
I brought her over to the rail, placing her standing so that she could see nothing but the wide ocean in front of her.
She gasped. "I'm flying Jack!" she said surprised, and I held her arms out, singing a familiar tune.
" Come Josephine in my flying machine going up she goes. Up she goes.." I sang quietly before our lips met.
The first time we made love.
We were inside the steaming car, and were in a kind of euphoria.
" Are you nervous?" I asked her, and she just stared into my eyes, they were full of love.
" No. Put your hands on me, Jack." she said to me, and I gladly obliged.
That had been only hours ago. Hours ago we had been happy, we had been ready to start our own life together, away from all the madness of society, and the money. But now, that was all gone.
She could still be happy though, even if I was destined to die here in the waters of the Atlantic. But that was okay. As long as Rose made it through all his, as long as she ended up happy.
And I know she'd be sad at first, but soon that would pass. Soon I would be nothing but a memory, and she could move on to someone better, more worthy of her love. The hardest thing in this world is to live in it, and that is something I hoped she would learn.
I hoped she wouldn't get overcome by the grief, or the fear of being alone. Cause I would always be with her, even if she couldn't see me, I'd always be there.
My eyelids were getting heavy, and the rest of my body was completely lifeless, the pain, the pain was gone, but I was left with an emptiness. My mind was wandering as well.
It was as if, I was outside of my body, looking down at myself, and Rose. But then I would be right back in my body again, numb and practically dead. I didn't want Rose to feel this way, and I hoped someone would come to help her soon, because I couldn't help her any longer. My eyelids got too heavy and I had to let them close, leaving me in complete darkness, engulfing me in it, making it hard to breath.
But I knew that I could go now. Rose knew how I felt, even if she didn't know the full extent of my feelings. At least she knew I cared, and that was enough for me. Now as I let myself slip away from reality, I thought towards the future, when we would meet again. In heaven.
The noises of the swaying water, and the soft singing of a familiar tune were the last things I heard as I let myself slip away. Leaving my true love to live her life to the fullest, and to reach her fullest potentials, until we met again where we could live happily ever after.
Forever.
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Okay so what do ya think? I hope you liked it, and reviews are greatly appreciated. :]
