Hey it's me again writing a fan fiction about Eriol and Tomoyo. All the Cardcaptor Sakura character belongs to CLAMP ^_^
Please feel free to review and correct my grammar :)
Chapter 1: The Only Memory Remains
I still can feel his warm hug. His wide built chest and his strong arm embraced my small body. I was crying. My tear soaked his gray pullover. He put his chin on my head. I was sunk on his chest. I couldn't see him but I was quite sure that he was smiling. I didn't know if he was softly laughing at my stupidity or because of his affection. .
"I thought you promise me that you will be strong." He said to me.
"I know. But... "
"Eriol. If your will is strong, you won't change your mind."
"I am sorry, onii-san."
"You should be sorry for yourself."
He hugged me and hugged me again the whole day.
The night before we were going to sleep, he sat next to on the edge of my bed. As always, he always put me to sleep. He would tell some inspiring story before I sleep. The story was about a sorcerer who was hungry for power but then he was defeated by the love of a woman. He then told me the lesson learned from the story, that one must love other and must think of others.
"So that's why you really care of me? You don't want to be defeated?" I asked him.
"You will understand more when you grow up?"
"When will I grow up?"
"Probably in some years. When you are as big as me now."
"So one day I will be like you, not like the sorcerer?"
"Only if you grow strong. You promise me you will be strong. If you are strong, you will be like me. Because I am strong." He said to me half commanding. But I know really well that he wanted the best of me. I always love the way he encourage me to better and to be stronger with affection.
"Now you go to sleep, my crybaby!" He pulled the blanket and settled it on me.
"I am not a crybaby!" I protested.
"Then don't cry, big boy!" He said to me then kissed my forehead.
"Then I don't need your kiss. I am a big boy." I giggled.
"Okay, then. I won't kiss you anymore."
"No! Just kidding."
He smiled. Then he smoothed my hair. "Good night, Eriol."
"Good night!" I said to him when he crawled to his bed across me. "See you in the morning."
He just smiled.
And that was the last smile I saw from him as my eyes closed.
I always love the way he encourage me to be better and stronger with affection until now.
My girlfriend kiss woke me up in the morning.
"Good morning." She said to me. But it wasn't her voice that reached my ear.
"Good morning darling." I stretched my self and yawned.
"What's up?" She asked me.
"What?" I wondered why she asked me.
"You seems have a bad wake up lately. What happened?"
"What do you mean 'bad wake up'? Do I look bad?" I asked her so.
"Well. I can't really explain it. But, somehow, I have the feeling that you look uneasy. Did you have bad dreams?"
"I don't know. Maybe. It's just I lately recalled my past. My childhood, in particular."
My girlfriend held her head with her hand, made her position more comfortable to listen to me. "Do you want to share something with me, darling?"
At that moment my girlfriend offered me her comfort, I didn't know precisely what I wanted. I was confused. All the emotion was mixed. I was not sure if I should tell her, but on the other hand, I also want to ease the pain. Then my tears couldn't hold it anymore to fall.
"Eriol, darling, why you cry?" She suddenly embraced me. It was so warm and comforting. But it wasn't what I expected at the moment. I didn't realize that my tear dropped until she told me. She gently wiped my tears away.
"Tomoyo, I…" I was hesitating.
"It's okay, Eriol. It's Saturday anyway. We have no obligation in the morning. Just take your time. Take it easy. I will make breakfast for us. Okay? Just rest further. I'll be right back," she said it in a rush, as I would collapse immediately if I didn't eat. She is a wonderful woman. I couldn't find any better. How can I be so selfish that I think I could get better comfort from someone else, someone, who really loves me that make me feel being loved for the first time.
Tomoyo was back in 15 minutes a long with a tray filled with bread, jam, egg, fruits, orange juice and tea. She put the tray between us on the bed.
"Eriol my darling, I have the whole time in the world to listen to your story that bothering you. But first take a sip or bite of breakfast. Okay?" She passed the cup of tea. I took a sip then put it back on the tray and grabbed a small piece of bread.
I started my story after I finished the bread and took another sip of tea. I noticed she drank the juice and ate some bread with fresh strawberry. I even was not sure if I should start it from there.
"You know me for the first time when I arrived in Tomoeda, introduced myself as exchange student then later you guys found out that I am the reincarnation of Clow Reed, the sorcerer, am I right?"
She nodded while she chewed her food.
"But do you have any idea what happened before that?"
"No." She answered firmly.
"That's what bothered me lately." I sighed. "Lately, I keep remembering my childhood. I lived in the orphanage before, ever since I was born."
"Really?" Tomoyo looked shocked. "Sorry I didn't mean to interrupt you."
"Feel free, my darling. But yes, that's true."
"But Mr. and Mrs. Hiragizawa? Are they not your real parents?"
"Well, that's the complication. Let me continue first."
She nodded.
"I was left in front of the door of an orphanage. I don't know if it still open. I don't remember anymore because I wanna forget any memories about that place, because the fellow orphans always bullied me. I was a coward, a crybaby. That's why I really hate that place. I felt that I wanted to get adopted soon. But there's something that makes me didn't want to leave that place. The only memory I wanted to cherish always…."
"And what was it?"
"A brother."
"Brother? You have brother, Eriol?"
"Yes, Tomoyo. A big brother. I never told this story to anyone in the world. I only want you to be the only one to know, because I love you so much and I trust you."
She kissed me half softly half passionately. "Of course, my darling. I am always by your side. I will always be there for you if you need to ease such a memory. Don't hold it. You have me."
"Thank you darling. But this man, he was like a big brother to me. Probably the only one who deserves to be my brother. I respect him the most. Before you or any woman or any other friends who comfort me, there was him. Him only. I was a kid, a crybaby who always hide behind his back, who always run to him when I got hurt," unconsciously my tear fell again, "And he always be there for me, to protect me from any harm, to ease my pain and to cheer me up with all his wise words. He was a big brother for everybody in the orphanage because he was the oldest and he literally was the one who take care of the orphanage beside the volunteers. He was a really responsible man. I don't really know how old he was, perhaps around 16 in my memory. But to me, he was really a big brother and I was so selfish that I want him only to be for me.
"But that night, he left me, after he told me a bedtime story that I still remember until now and then put me to sleep. I still remember the clothes that he wore, a pair of gray pajamas with dotted pattern. I can even smell his breath after brushing his teeth, fresh eucalyptus. I can even still feel the warm of his hug when I run to him earlier in the evening and cried on his chest. I can still feel his kiss on my forehead, and all those tenderness I got from him for the last time. And of course, his deep rich voice when he said 'good night' came out from his lips that formed the warmest smile ever. He was the first one that made me feel loved and also the first one that broke my heart. Oh Tomoyo, how I really miss him now….."
Tomoyo was speechless for a while. Then she spoke, "Eriol, my darling, I am glad to know that. You should be grateful of him. I really don't know what to say, but I really never expect that you had such a story of your past. Am I the only one who know about him?"
"Yes. You are the only one. Not even my parents know about it. Every time I want to tell somebody something seemed to hold me back. But lately, I suddenly miss him. Thank you for being with me Tomoyo, to ease my burden." I hugged her.
"Surely my darling." She kissed my lips again. "Now I know where did you got all the tenderness and the all the gentleness in you."
"Yeah, that's right. It's from him. I promised that I will be strong and one day I can be like him, a gentleman with his power and love. He was really my idol and somehow I didn't realize that I actually grew like him. I don't remember how he treated me when I was baby but I am sure he would look at me with his tender eyes. I still remember when he lifted me up when I was young and spin me around until I laughed. He treated me like I was his own brother. He never be like that to any other child, I was the only one. He once told me that he was so happy to meet me, which was when I was a baby and left in front of the orphanage door." Again my tear fell.
"Do you have any idea where is he? Maybe he once told you his dream job or something like that that we can use as a hint to find him? Do you want to find him? It's just my assumption though." She is Tomoyo Daidouji, the lady who understood me the most.
"Yes, of course, now that you mentioned it. I don't remember he mentioned anything about his dream. I only know that he wanted to live together with me outside the orphanage. He said he wanted to find a good job so that we could get out of the orphanage on our own. But that's it, not in particular."
"Ah okay. Then it's difficult."
"Tomoyo. I really love him, but as a brother. Please don't mistake it. I am not gay, you know."
"Eriol, I know you longer than yesterday. I know what kind of love you would give to what kind of people." She smiled beautifully, the smile that I don't want to lose. I don't want to lose any other warm smile anymore.
"I would give everything in the world as long as I can feel his warm embrace and see his smile once again. I would let go everything, even my power if necessary."
"Eriol. Don't say so. There must be a way to find him. Don't worry. You are a strong wizard, even if you already divided your power with Fujitaka, I am sure that you are still strong. Also, you have a strong will to find him. That's important. You grew as a strong man just like what he wanted you to. I will help you whatever it takes. You always do everything for everybody's sake. Now it's my turn to return it to you. Let's do something for your sake. You deserve it, Eriol."
"But I don't even know if he's still alive or not. I don't have any trace of him, not even his photograph. He took all our photographs together with him when he disappeared that night. He only remains in my mind. He's only in my memory, just like Jack Dawson remains only in Rose Dewitt-Bukater mind. Not even you would really believe that he exist. That's also the reason I don't want to tell anybody. I am afraid that they won't believe that he even exists or he's just my imagination.
"I believe you, Eriol. I do. That's why I am here for you. Okay? Do you believe in me?"
"I do, Tomoyo. Thank you." I kissed her.
So what do you think? Should I continue?
Please kindly review me :)